AVDC
by circusfreak88
Summary: A/U MALEX SLASH: Alex is adopted instead of Ryan. It helps if you know the storyline of season one to follow, but not crucial. Swearing and lesbianism throughout.
1. The Begining

Summary: This is a rewrite of A Very Different County. Same premise just better basically. The story has been changed but not in whole. For those of you who have not read A Very Different County: it is Alex who is adopted by the Cohens not Ryan. This is about her life in the pool house. The story follows season one in a very basic way. Dialogue is different and the stories have been changed to fit Alex as the central charicter.

Disclaimer: Non of the characters are mine nor do I claim them to be.

A/N: Please review. I am a feedback whore.

* * *

**A VERY DIFFERENT COUNTY**

**The Begining**

I'd been following my brother for a good hour before he found one that really caught his attention. The street we were in was dark and the only windows facing onto it were either broken or boarded up. Trey took a final look around the area before pulling out a crow bar.

"I'm your big brother." He smiled, raising the crow bar higher. "If I don't teach you this who will?" He laughed as he smashed in the driver's window of the abandoned car.

"I don't know, Trey." I told him as I watched him climb in. This was the third car he'd stolen this week, but the first one where he'd insisted I came along for the ride.

"Quit being a little bitch." He yelled from his position in the driver's seat. "Get in!" I slammed his door shut and raced round to the other side.

I had two choices I realised as I opened the passenger's door. 1) I got in the car and rode with him to where ever he takes the damn cars and hopefully I get a share of his cash. Or 2) I stay on the side walk and either get mugged, raped or both on the way home and wait for Trey to come home and then beat me some more. Reluctantly I got in.

"Yeah, come on!" He laughed.

He was the lesser of two evils.

Just the only thing with the lesser of two evils is that it is at the end of the day, still an evil. This was made abundantly clear to me when I slammed the door shut a cop car drove past us. This just spurred on my brother more, looking at me and laughing he simply hot wired the engine, the noise of it forcing the police car to see us. It started up its sirens just as Trey sped off, in tern prompting the cops to follow us.

"You should see your face, man." Trey said, laughing at me staring back at the car chasing us. "Whoo! Yeah!" He screamed.

He just continued to laugh as another police car blocked our path, simply turning to avoid crashing into it and speeding down a new road, just as dark and dingy as the one we'd just turned out of. However, this one had yet another cop car lurking in it.

This one refused to play Trey's came however and simply smashed into the side of us, forcing us out of the chase and into a somewhat sturdier object then the hood of the car Trey had stolen.

"Fuck!" I yelled at him, slamming my hands down on the dash, as the other two cars caught up and the cops started to clime out and reach for their guns. "Now what?!" I spat at him, but then I realised there was no choice this time as I watched him step out of the car and hold up his hands. I simply followed once more.

* * *

Jail's not how they depict on TV. Its less high school and more 1950's, what with the massive racial divide, which nobody would be stupid enough to cross. If you're black you hang with blacks, Hispanic you stick with the Hispanics. I simply just tried to keep my head low and pray I got out before I graduated. Though another thing I learned about prison is that keeping your head down is easier said then done.

Most the girls in prison with me wanted to prove they were the biggest bitch in there, each with their own posse and desire to big up their 'rep'. It was therefore a relief when a guard came into my cell and told me that the state had found me a lawyer. I was frog-marched into the visitors sector where there was just one guy sat at the long table with papers spread in front of him.

As the guard took my handcuffs off the guy stood up and held out his hand:

"Alex. I'm Sandy Cohen. The court's appointed me your public defender." I looked him up and down, ignoring his hand as I did so, then simply sat down on the stall opposite. "You could do worse." He said, taking his seat again, "You okay? They treating you alright?"

"Where's my brother?"

"Ah…" He said slowly, looking back down at his files, "Trey is over 18, Trey stole a car, Trey had a gun in his pants and an ounce of pot in his jacket-"

"I knew he was high," I mumbled.

"And a couple of priors." He continued. "I'm guessing that right now Trey is looking at three to five years. But Trey's not my concern. This is your first time in lockup. I would assume you don't plan on coming back." He paused, I don't know if he was waiting for a response, but he didn't get one. "Your grades are... not great, suspended twice for fighting, truancy three times..." He looked back up at me, surprise evident in his eyes, "Your test scores ... 98th percentile on your SAT ones. Alex, 98th percentile, if you start going to class... Are you thinking about going to college?"

"Yeah," I told him, "I'm thinking about Yale, then Harvard for law school, wait a few years and then I'm thinking about running for president."

"Can you cut the crap?" He asked me, clearly my sarcasm was obvious. "I'm on your side. Come on; help me out here-"

"You wanna cut the crap?" I asked him, leaning down on the table so I was closer to him. "Modern medicine is advancing to the point where the average human life span will be one hundred. But I read this article that said social security's supposed to run out by the year 2025, which means people are going to have to stay at their jobs until they're…" I calculated it quickly, "eighty. So forgive me for not wanting to rush into any decision making." I told him.

He simply shook his head. "Look, I can plea this down to a misdemeanour." I looked him in the eye properly for the first time when he said this. "Petty fine, probation. But know this: stealing a car 'cause your big brother told you to - it's stupid, and it's weak. Now those are two things you can't afford to be anymore."

"I'll add them to the list." I went back to muttering at him.

"Do you want to change that?" He asked me, forcing me to look away. "Then you have to get over the fact that life dealt you a bad hand." He obviously managed to cotton on to the reason why I could no longer hold his gaze. "I get it. We're cut from the same deck, Alex. I grew up no money, bad part of the Bronx, my father was gone, my mother worked all the time. I was pissed off; I was stupid."

"And you manage to over come all that? I wonder who will play you in the movie." I smiled sarcastically at him.

"You're smart enough to be able to have your own movie made about you." I raised my eyebrows at him. "Okay," he waved his hand, "forget I said that. I just mean, a smart kid like you? If you put half as much effort into your future as you did into your sarcasm…" he paused. "You must have some kind of a dream at least." He pushed.

"Where I come from," I looked him back in the eyes, "people don't know enough to be able to tell you who Martin Luther King was, let alone be able to tell you about their dreams." He simply sighed and went back to going over my papers, shaking his head every so often.

* * *

"My office will contact you to remind you the date for your hearing." Cohen told me, standing outside Juvie whilst I waited for Mom to pick me up.

"I'll remember." I grunted, feeling my pockets for my cigarettes, which apparently the guards stole when they took my clothes. "Damn cops."

"Wh-" Cohen started to ask before he got distracted by my mother driving up onto the curb.

"Unbelievable!" She barely waited to get out of the car before she started yelling at me. "What kinda family I got, huh? What the hell did I do to deserve this family? You want to tell me that?"

"Whatever. You don't care, I was in there a week and you didn't bother to even visit." I yelled back at her.

"What you say to me?" She stepped round the hood and I think she would have hit me, had Mr Cohen not stepped in the way and held out his hand.

"Mrs. Atwood?" He asked, "I'm Sandy Cohen. I'm Alex's attorney."

"You should have left her there." She told him, ignoring his hand, just like I had. "Just like her Dad's doing. Just like her brother's gonna." Cohen just turned and looked at me, I could have sworn there was almost pity in his eyes. "Let's go Alex. _Now_, Alex!" She repeated, raising her tone, when I didn't move before.

"I'm going to give you my card." Mr Cohen reached into his pocket and handed me a small piece of card. "My home number, you know, if you need something, if things get to be too much, call me."

I took his card as Mom got into the driver's seat and started yelling at me once more:

"Let's go!"

"All right!" I yelled back, pocketing the card and wrenching open the car door.

* * *

Home was just as I'd left it the week before. AJ in chair before the TV watching football, dirty plates in the kitchen and an open bottle of anything alcoholic on the counter.

"I can't do this anymore, Alex." Mom told me, pouring herself a drink, at least she was bothering to use a glass today. "I can't." She shook her head before taking a drink.

"I'm sorry, Mom."

"I want you out of my house." I looked at her for the first time since I'd re-entered the house. "I want you out!"

"But Mom," there were tears in my eyes, "where am I going to go?"

"You heard your mother, man." AJ joined in the discussion not looking away from the TV, "Get your stuff and get out."

"Stay out of it!" I snapped back at him, wiping my eyes quickly before either of them could see how they effected me.

"Alex don't talk to him like that." Mom said pouring herself another drink.

"I just wish he'd stop yelling at me and worry about his _own_ fucking kids." I raised my voice for the last bit to make sure he was still listening.

"What you say to me?" He asked, actually caring enough to get out of his chair.

"You heard me." I said, looking him straight in the eyes, refusing to back down this time.

"Oh you think you're one of the guys now you've been in the slammer do you?" He scoffed.

"You've been in there enough times, you tell me!"

"We'll put it too the test shall we?" He smirked, before his fist collided with my face.

You got to respect a guy that hits sixteen-year-old girls. I felt my lip for blood, before swinging back at him.

"_HEY!_" Mom shouted as he pushed me into the counter, hitting me over and over again. I think she was more pissed about dropping her glass, from the shock of it, rather than actually caring about my well being.

When I could finally shake AJ off me, or rather when he got bored of hitting me, I got up and walked into my room, slamming my door behind me. I threw open my wardrobe doors and pulled out as many clothes as I could fit into my school bag, before walking back out into the living room (finding AJ back in his chair and Mom still drinking and smoking) and out the front door.

I picked up my bike, relieved it hadn't been stolen whilst I was away, and cycled out the yard and to the nearest pay phone. I rang everyone I could think of, even my ex, hoping to find a place to crash, but no one would take me or rather no one's parents would take me given that I'd been kicked out because I'd got in trouble with the law. Yeah like I was the bad influence.

It wasn't until I delved into my pocket hoping to find more quarters, when I found his card, his home number messily scrawled on the back. He was officially my last prayer, not that I believed in God.

* * *

"Told you." He smiled out his window, when he pulled up an hour later, "You could do worse." He got out his car and surveyed me sitting on the low wall outside the local 7-Eleven, guarding my bike. "This all your stuff." I nodded grimly. "Come on lets get your bike in the trunk and I'll take you back to mine."

"Thanks." I told him, shouldering my bag and wheeling my bike to the back of his car.

"No problem." He simply took my bike and after laying down a towel, placed it in the back of his car before pulling down the door as far as it would go. "If you hear a crash as we head down the freeway, you know you've lost your bike."

"Will you buy me a new one?" I smiled at him.

"Don't push your luck." He smiled back before getting in.

"This is a nice car." I told him, as I sat beside him. "I didn't know your kind of lawyer made money."

"No, we don't. My wife does." He smiled at me, before pulling off.

"Will she buy me a new bike?"

"I'll let you ask her." He laughed at me.

We made the rest of the ride in silence, only the sounds of the radio drowning out the noise of the traffic surrounding us on the freeway. I simply looked out the window watching the scenery change. It wasn't until was pulled into a gated community did I realise that the journey was over.

He stopped the car in the drive of one of the more modest sized mansions. He opened the door and it was only when I was about to do the same did he think about me.

"Um, you know, why don't you wait here for a minute? I'll be back." He told me.

I watched him pull out his keys, leaving an awkward silence when the music shut off. I rolled my eyes "It's my brother that steals cars, not me."

"Sorry." He said quietly putting the keys back in the engine and allowing me the music once more.

After waiting like five minutes for him to come out, I got restless and stepped out of the car. I felt my pockets and was pleased to remember I hadn't smoked the whole pack whilst I waited for Mr Cohen to pick me up. I got out of the car and walked down to the end of the drive.

I looked around at all the houses as I lit up my cigarette. I couldn't believe it; I had really lucked out. One minute I'm in a jump-suit, which are never flattering, then I'm standing in Orange County. If only it hadn't taken my whole world abandoning me for me to get there.

"Who are you?" I turned to see this tall brunette standing in the driveway next door.

I exhaled and watched the smoke leave my mouth in a satisfyingly straight line. I couldn't believe that I hadn't spotted her before when I was looking around the place. "Uh, Alex."

"Marissa." The girl smiled before looking me up and down. "Hey, can I bum a cigarette?"

"Uh, sure." I took out the pack from my pocket and handed one of the remaining ones to her. She looked at me, waiting for a lighter, I moved in closer, and offered her the lit end of mine. Once she'd managed to light hers I walked back.

Smiling she inhaled deeply. "So, what are you doing here."

"Right now?" I inhaled and exhaled once more. "Smoking."

"No, seriously."

"Seriously?" I took another drag from my cigarette and started walking back to her. "I, uh, stole a car. Crashed it." I shrugged, "Actually my brother did. Since he had a gun and drugs on him he's in jail. I got out and my Mom threw me out. She was pissed off and drunk." I waved my hand, causing my cigarette to burn orangy-red patches of light into the night, "So Mr. Cohen took me in."

She watched me, assessing me, trying to figure out whether or not I was speaking the truth.

"You're that cousin from Boston right?"

I thought about it for a moment, figuring out which would be easier trying to convince her that she really was meeting a girl just out of jail or that I was this cousin, apparently from Boston. I ended up simply nodding at her as I took yet another drag.

"Hi Marissa!" I turned to find Cohen walking down the drive and turned back and I watched as the girl tried to throw away her cigarette as discreetly as possible.

"Hey Mr Cohen." She smiled at him. "I was just meeting your niece."

He looked confused for a bit, before he cottoned onto who I'd agreed to be. "Oh. My favourite niece, Alex," he slapped me on the back. "All the way from Seattle."

"Seattle?" She questioned.

"Dad lives there. Mom lives in Boston." I made up quickly.

"Hmm."

"So we're all really excited about your fashion show fund-raiser tomorrow night." Mr Cohen said, after a break in the conversation.

"Really? You are." She smiled at him.

Cohen ran a hand through is hair, taking a deep breath, "No."

She laughed at his honesty. She was enchanting and I'd only been talking to her for a few minutes. She opened her mouth to reply but quickly shut it again when a truck pulled up next to us. A blonde boy, wearing a stupid white shell necklace rolled down the window and shouted out at her:

"Come on. Let's go!"

The girl looked at me before heading towards the truck, "Hey, you should come by, check it out. If you don't have other plans." She smiled at me again. "See you." She told Cohen as she pulled open the door and climbed up into the truck.

"Good night." Sandy replied.

I watched her kiss the driver, 'Who's that kid?' I heard him ask, once they'd pulled apart and before he drove off.

"Let's go inside." Cohen put an arm around me, steering me back towards the house, encouraging me to stop staring at the truck speeding away. He looked at my cigarette, still smoking away, "Uh, there's no smoking in this house." I threw it aside polluting the dark sky with red sparks. He ran back down to put it out as I just carried on walking.

* * *

When I woke up in the morning it took me a while to remember that I wasn't at home or in jail, but rather in the pool house of my lawyer. I pulled on the clothes I'd worn the day before and walked out into the fresh light of the new day, forcing me to blink as my eyes tried to adjust to the brightness.

I looked around, taking in the giant house, the pool and the view. It was amazing everything was just so big. The hills were green, the ocean blue. It was like I'd stepped out of my life and into some sort of Disney life, where everything is perfect 'cept for like a dad that works to much and never has time for his kids.

I literally pinched myself to check that this was all real and that I hadn't just drunk too much and simply in some alcohol induced dream.

I entered the main house to find some teenage boy sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the TV playing a video game. I watched him staring at me. He looked about my age I guess, just scrawny and very geeky looking, with his black curly hair and this dumb alert expression, not to mention his jerkiness.

"Hey." He nodded at me after we'd clearly finished looking each other up and down.

"Hey." I nodded back at him.

"Do you want to play?"

"What game?"

"Pro Ninja Fighter VI."

"You get pro ninjas?" I asked him sitting down.

"Well, yeah." He passed me a controller, "You didn't think they did it for free, did you?"

"I've never really thought about ninjas all that much actually."

"Strange." He said quietly as he started up a multi-player game.

"Oh, looks like someone's trying to be a hero but you got a little cocky. X O, X O it's an unbeatable combination. Oh, oh,..." The kid was practically bouncing next to me. "OH! What happened to your head, dude? Where did it go? I'm sorry did someone die?" And he also didn't seem to need to pause for breath like normal kids. "Oh, hey, do you want to play Grand Theft Auto? It's pretty cool, you can like, steal cars..." He stopped suddenly, the look of fear on his face was almost cute. "Not that that's cool. Or uncool, I don't know, um-"

"It's pretty much like the game actually. 'Cept you loose your cigarettes, not your money, once you get released."

"Really?" He smiled at me.

"Yeah I was not impressed."

Sandy came in with a load of groceries, before I could tell him anymore about jail. "I see you two have met." He smiled at us sat in front of the TV. "Seth, what are you doing inside on this beautiful day? Why don't you show Alex around?"

"Okay, cause it's so great around here. There's so much to do, Dad." I liked this kid; his use of sarcasm was almost as regular as mine. He turned to me, "I don't know, unless, what do you want to do?"

"What do you guys do around here?" I shrugged at him.

* * *

I hate boats. I seem to get seasick from just looking at them, and Seth's was no exception to this. I guess I just never got a chance to get acclimatised to them, you know living in the city and all. At the first break in his constant talking about Autumn I asked if we could possibly go back to shore.

Sandy was walking down the hill to the beach just as Seth was rolling up his sails and I was trying not to throw up.

"Hey, you two." He called, oblivious to my heaving. "I thought we'd head over to the fashion show at about seven."

"Yeah, have fun." Seth deadpanned, not turning away from his boat.

"Come on. It's a whole new school year, Seth."

"It's also the same kids, Dad." He sighed, finishing doing, what ever it was he was doing with his boat. "Why do they even need a fashion show? Every day's a fashion show for these people."

"Yeah, well Alex has to go." Sandy just shrugged at him. "Marissa invited her."

I was sat on the beach, letting the conversation pretty much just drift over me, as I tried to focus on something that wasn't my nausea, when Seth dragged me into it.

"Marissa invited you?" He looked at me, as I slowly stood up, holding my stomach as I did. "I've lived next door to Marissa for like, forever. Her dad almost got married to my mom even, and, like, she's never even invited me to a birthday party." I raised my eyebrows at him.

"That is not true." Sandy interjected. "They did not almost get married."

"Eh." Seth dismissed him.

"Hey," I shrugged, still holding onto my stomach, "maybe Autumn will be there."

"Try the season before." He told me.

"Huh?"

"Sum-mer." He said slowly. "Her name is Summer."

"Oh."

"But that is interesting. She is Marissa's best friend." He paused, clearly thinking the situation through "Seven?" He asked Mr Cohen.

"Seven." He nodded.

"Seven." Seth smiled at me before walking up the hill his father had just walked down.

"You alright, Kid?" Mr Cohen asked me walking over and putting his arm around me.

"Uh huh." I nodded before my insides fled my body via my mouth and I threw up on his shoes. "Sorry Mr Cohen." I said sheepishly, still holding my stomach.

"Please, call me Sandy." He smiled, shaking the worst of it off before walking me up the hill after Seth.

* * *

I stood in front of the mirror; I couldn't believe that it was me I was looking at.

Kirsten had lent me one of her dresses. It was this long elegant black thing, made of a material I'd never even heard of but was positive cost more than my house, it had thin straps and amazingly didn't clash with the purple streak I'd put in my hair like a month before. I hadn't worn a dress since I was seven, I don't do dresses, I mean its nearly impossible to look hard when you're in a dress and you can never run as fast.

But as I looked at myself, I couldn't help but smiling, I mean I looked quite nice.

"Wow." I turned round to find Sandy smiling at me from the doorway. "Look at that. It fits you beautifully. Turn around." I spun for him, causing the bottom of the dress to flare up slightly, which in turn made me giggle a little. (I never giggle, I blame the dress!) "Look at you." I looked back at my reflection with Sandy standing behind me. "Huh? Beats a jump-suit." I smirked at him and watched him leave, before going back to looking at myself in the mirror.

I was a long way from home. I mean, I knew I wasn't in Chino, but it wasn't until I stepped into the fashion show- party thing, did I realise just how out of Chino I was. I was stood surrounded by all these Newport folks, all dressed up, smiling. They looked happy, almost anyway.

A waiter came up and offered hors d'oeuvres to me:

"Mushroom leek crescent? Crab and Brie phyllo?"

I picked up one of the things he'd just told me he had, no able to distinguish between then and popped it in my mouth. And then quickly spat it back out into my hand.

"Welcome to the dark side." Seth laughed in my ear, as I looked round for somewhere to dump my half-chewed appetiser.

"I blame your boat for this." I told him walking off in search of a napkin, a trashcan or simply a bush.

"Oh, so, you must be the cousin from Boston, hmm?" A woman asked me as I was wiping my hand on a napkin at the bar. "I don't know how you do it. I could just never live there. I _hate_ the cold."

"Well, you, uh, get used to it." I frowned at her, not knowing who the hell she was or even why she was talking to me. "Excuse me." I pointed to somewhere that she wasn't and quickly headed in that direction.

"Do you... like Seattle?" Another woman asked me as I tried to get to the non-specific place I'd pointed to. "I mean all that rain, isn't it depressing?"

"Umbrella's are pretty much like purses in Washington." I told this one. "Excuse me I think I see my friend waving to me."

I walked so quickly away from her that I didn't notice that I'd walked into someone else.

"Oh sorry." I said looking up at one of the few people I recognised at the party.

"Its okay." The girl did that smile thing again.

"You, uh, have to help me." I told her, looking over my shoulder and seeing the woman still looking at me as if ready to ask more questions about a city I'd never been to. "Women keep talking to me and I don't know how to make them stop."

"Well, uh," she looked around. "Me and my friend Summer are hanging out in the changing rooms if you want to join." She shrugged.

"Will women ask me about Seattle in there?"

"Maybe, but there's a lesser concentration of them." She said, all the time still smiling, "plus," she waved her purse, "I've got alcohol."

"I'm so in." I smiled back at her. "Sorry, what did you say your name was again?"

"Marissa." She said simply taking my hand and leading me out of the main party and into the building.

"I'm Alex." I told her as I followed her through the people to a toilet.

"Yeah I know, I can remember names." She laughed as she pushed open the door to reveal a short brunette applying lipstick.

"Look what I stole!" The short girl held up two glasses filled with either wine or champagne, knowing the guests at the party it was probably champagne, proudly.

"Look what I stole." Marissa smiled as she pulled out a substantial bottle of vodka from her purse.

"Alright!" She laughed. "Here." She handed Marissa one of the glasses before drinking from her own.

"Thanks." Marissa smiled, sipping from it. "Summer this is Alex, by the way. Alex this is Summer. You think you can remember that?" She laughed at me, passing me her wine or champagne to sip from.

"I can give it a go." I smiled back at her, as I hopped onto the counter.

"Alex is staying here from either Boston or Seattle."

"There's a pretty big difference, Coop." Summer laughed, but strangely looking at me rather than Marissa.

"Mom lives in Seattle, Dad lives in Boston."

"I thought you said it was the other way round?" Marissa looked at me, taking back her glass and promptly draining it.

"Whatever," Summer waved her off. "So what are you doing in Newport?"

"I'm, uh, staying with the Cohen's."

"Cool." She smiled, not even taking her eyes off me as she sipped from her glass. "So you're coming to the party afterwards right?"

"Party?"

"Yeah our friend Holly's throwing a party at her parent's beach house. You have to come." She smiled at me. "Doesn't she Coop?"

Marissa looked up from refilling her glass with vodka. "Yeah."

"Cool." I smiled at them.

When the girls got called out of their toilet for the fashion bit of the fashion show I wondered back out into the main bit to find everyone now seated round tables. I looked for Seth and was horrified to find him sitting at the kid's table.

"Where you been?" he asked me as I slipped into the chair next to him.

"I was in the toilet with Marissa and Summer?"

"Dude, you should totally see the picture going on inside my head." He smiled at me. "If only you were gay!"

"Yeah." I half smiled back at him, looking round at the kids staring at us. "You do know this is the kid's table right?" I whispered in his ear.

"Yeah."

"Okay." I nodded, picking up a menu.

"Thank you, thank you." Marissa speaking into a microphone took my attention away from the menu and to the stage. "Thank you all so much for coming. Every year we put on a fashion show to raise money for the battered woman's shelter. It's such a good cause you guys and we couldn't do any of it without your support and the support of Fashion Island and all their great stores. All right, enjoy the show!" She smiled one more time before relinquishing the stage to Summer who walked out in a different outfit and with a lot more makeup on.

"She has Tahiti written all over her." Seth told me, not taking his eyes off her.

"She does look pretty hot." I conceded, looking up at her too, but strangely I found that, unlike with Seth, she met my gaze.

* * *

After about an hour of girls walking up and down the cat walk in stupidly expensive dresses, the fashion show drew to a close.

"So I was invited to a party, now. You wanna come?"

"How come you've been here less than a day and you're already getting more invites than I have my entire life?" Seth asked me as we hung around out front.

"Cause I'm so much cooler and hotter than you?" He looked me up and down. "Please do not check me out. That would just be weird." I told him, slapping him away.

"Why?" He asked.

"Well I'm gay for a start."

"You are?"

"Its not obvious?" I frowned at him.

"Apparently not." Suddenly his facial expression changed and he did that jittery, bouncy thing he'd been doing when I'd found him playing video games. "So when you were in the toilets with Marissa and Summer?"

"Sorry, we were just drinking."

"Oh no," he smiled, "that's good, cause I- I-, with Summer-"

"I wouldn't get your hopes up, I think she was checking me out."

"Summer?" he laughed, "No way. She's like the straightest straight girl since, like, Barbie."

"Do know Barbie's gay right?"

"No she's not, she's like married to Ken."

"She was gay whenever I played with her." I shrugged.

"Weird and oddly erotic images in my head."

"Ew!" I hit him round the back of the head. "Not like that you perv."

"So this party?" He said, rubbing his head and clearly trying to change the subject before I hit him again.

* * *

We hitched a ride with some of the other teenagers that were at the fashion showy thing, most of them either calling Seth 'queer' or ignoring him completely for the entirety of the drive. When we pulled up, I discovered just how poor I was given that even these people's beach houses were bigger than my home.

Seth and I followed the others in and I was appalled to hear that they had some cheesy hip-hop playing, yet was pleased to see alcohol everywhere. My mom would have died and gone to AA heaven if she could have seen it. There was a table full of bongs, people snorting drugs of the table, while the stoned brats just sat and giggled. I watched a guy dancing put his hand under a girl's shirt, whilst another dancing girl took off her dress. These people were classy.

"Now this is the dark side." I smiled at Seth, taking it all in, before I hit him on the chest with the back of my hand and made for him to follow me through the party.

We passed drunken sluts throwing themselves over those preppy rich boys. It was sickening. None of them could handle their drink. Seth was following me slowly muttering something about cocaine. Out side there was yet more booze, they had way too much money if they could spend what can only be described as 'rent money' on alcohol. Some of the guys were throwing sticks onto the fire to keep it going, with girls hanging onto them thinking they were cool for knowing how to make fire!

"What next the wheel?" I asked Seth as we made our way over to the keg.

"I hear its in its final stages of development." He laughed as he passed me a plastic cup for me to fill up for him. "So I'm going to find Summer." He told me, once I'd handed him back his cup, "prove she's not a lesbian."

"Prove who's not a lesbian?" We turned to see Marissa, standing next to us.

"Uh, your friend, Summer." I smiled weakly.

"Oh no," she shook her head, taking my cup away from me and sipping from it. "She's totally straight."

"See man," Seth smiled triumphantly, "and now I'm going to find her." He told me holding up his cup as a toast before walking back into the house and the main party.

"So, what do you think of Newport?" Marissa asked me handing me back my cup.

"I think I can get in less trouble where I'm from." I was caught in her eyes. They were glistening green, I don't know if she was pleased to see me there or just plain drunk. But her eyes were shining.

"Now, where exactly are you from?" She asked.

"Hey, Coop!" One of the girls shouted from inside the party. "It's your turn to deal." My attention instantly went to the Pokka game going on with yet more semi naked girls.

"By the way, about that trouble," she smiled, "you have _no _idea!" She said to me before she walked off to join in the game. I simply stood in the doorway, between the beach and the party and watched her join her friends. She seemed so at ease with herself, the way she just flitted from one activity to another. She seemed to genuinely enjoy life and I envied her because of it.

"You made it." Summer smiled at me, joining me at the door.

"Yeah, though I do feel somewhat over dressed." I smiled back, looking over her body covered only by a bikini and a mini skirt.

"Are you checking me out?" She asked me.

"You were checking me out earlier." I said simply, sipping from my drink.

"Tell anyone and you're dead." She hissed. I simply ran a finger across my lips, as if zipping them closed. "They better be." She warned, recognising the action.

"Now why bother admitting checking me out," I whispered in her ear, "if you don't want anyone to think you're the slightest bit gay."

"You wanna just shut up already and meet me in the bathroom and make out?"

"Now what kind of a girl would I be if I said yes to that?" I laughed at her.

"You'd be a bitch," I heard Seth's voice turned to see him glaring at me, "who should just go back to Chino and start stealing cars again."

"Seth," I laughed, "you're over reacting to eves-dropping on only half a conversation."

"Over reacting?" he practically spat the words back at me. "I named my boat after her."

"Who _are_ you?" Summer asked him, confused by the whole turn of events.

"DYKE!" Seth yelled at her before storming off onto the beach.

"You have fun with this." I smiled at her, pointing at the whole party that had stopped what they were doing and staring at Summer and me before going off in search off Seth.

I only got as far the decking steps though, when I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me back slightly.

"Hey," Marissa said, this was the first time I'd seen her when she wasn't smiling, "who was Seth yelling dyke at?"

"Me." I said, not really thinking about it.

"Why?"

"Cause I am." I told her. The first bit of my honesty she actually believed I knew this by the way she instantly let go of my arm, walked back across the decking and into the house.

I don't know why but it bothered my slightly, it was stupid I'd barely said ten sentences to the girl. I couldn't let it get to me though I had to find Seth and explain what he thought he'd heard.

I tracked him down quite easily by his screams and a circle of big guys laughing.

"Oh, I guess you're fans of the cliché." I heard him say from within the ring.

"Shut up." One of the guys laughed.

I walked over and pushed a couple of the guys aside so that I could see a boy standing in the centre holding Seth by his ankles.

"It's been like two minutes Seth," I wanted to laugh, but suppressed the urge, "how are you already in trouble?"

"Hey, Alex." Seth managed to gasp at me, "What's up?"

"Can you put him down?" I asked the boy.

"What's it to you?" I turned round and found Shell Necklace Truck Dude straightening out his shirt as he walked over to us being followed by a girl that definitely wasn't Marissa.

"Nothing much, I just can't think of any logical reason as to why he's doing it." I said simply. "And why, just out of curiosity, does everyone around here just seem to turn up out of nowhere to say stuff to me?"

"What's with this chick?" the boy asked Shell Necklace.

"Oh no," I sighed, "now why did you have to ruin a perfectly decent conversation by calling me 'chick'?"

"Huh?" The boy just stared at me.

"Cause I mean now I'm going to have to do this." I told him as I hit him in the face, forcing him to drop Seth on the sand.

"I'm so glad you did that." Shell Necklace smiled at me. "Cause now I can hit you!"

The force of his punch sent me to the ground. "That's not how it works." I told him holding my face. "If I hit your friend, your friend hits me not you."

"Whatever." He shook his head and headed back towards the house.

"Hey," I called out to him, causing him to turn round and stare at me still in the sand. "Marissa your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, what's it to you?" he sneered down at me.

"She know you were with another girl all night?" He simply kicked me in the stomach as way of a response.

"Welcome to the O.C., bitch! This is how it's done in Orange County." He laughed as he went back to walking into the house, only this time with is friends in tow.

"Okay ow!" I admitted to Seth once they were all out of earshot.

* * *

Seth plunked down on some cushions. I slowly sat on the end of the bed and started to take of the dress, before realising, I couldn't exactly change with Seth in the room, not that I had anything practical to change into.

"Well, I... I don't know what to say... except that you totally had my back out there. Granted having a girl save me does nothing for my man points but still, you had my back. We're, like, in a fight club or something. I don't know. You know what I think? Alex, I think that if you were to teach me some moves. I think that we could totally take 'em next time, well if you're not wearing a dress. That's what I think. A little bit of that." He kicked foot to emphasise "You know what I mean? A little bit of that, that. What do you think about that? Yeah." He lifted his hand for a high five, which I could tell he was not going to put down until I joined in. "Oh, also, that wasn't exactly way that I first planned to talk to Summer, you know having to watch her flirt with you and then yelling 'dyke' at her. But, I am now on her radar. Do you think I should tell her about Tahiti? Do you?"

"I would leave it until you find out if she's at least bi." I told him, trying to figure out which hurt more the punch in the face or the kick in the stomach.

"That's what I thought. See that's what I was thinking. I wanted to make sure we were, like, on the same page. Quite a little night we had there." He curled up on the cushions. "I'm not going to forget it. Alex, I'm not going to forget that one."

I looked over to say something but saw that Seth and his slightly tipsy self had fallen asleep, still wearing his suit.

I got up, which was easier said than done, given the pain in my stomach. I went over to my clothes and felt through my pockets until I'd found my cigarettes; I pulled one out of the packet, picked up my lighter and headed out into the garden. I stood by the railing and simply admired the view as I lit up. It had been some crazy arsed day, but at the end of it I was no longer in jail so that was something.

A jeep pulling up to Marissa's house, pulled me out of my musing. I was surprised to see Summer and another girl carry a passed out Marissa up the driveway. They were giggling and obviously still very drunk. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but they were rummaging around in her purse looking for what I can only guess to have been her keys.

They left Marissa laid out on her driveway, I watched them leave, just abandoning her in front of her house. I rubbed my eyes with one hand and put my cigarette to my mouth with my other. I couldn't just go back into the pool house knowing she was there. Could I? I sighed and threw the end of my cigarette over the cliff.

I went down to where Marissa was and, after shooting a couple worried glances at the house, I tried to wake her.

"Hey…" I rubbed her gently, "Marissa?" I tried even, but just like I'd seen Mom a thousand times before, she was out cold from the drink. I picked up her purse and looked for her keys, hoping that the other two had simply just been too drunk to find them.

I looked back at the house, then again at her. I wondered what the hell her parents would say if I knocked on the door and tried to explain what had happened, but I didn't think the story would sound so good coming from a stranger with blackening eye.

I sighed once more, before realising that I was going to have to try and carry her back to the pool house so she could sleep it off with me and Seth.

* * *

The morning light woke me, I hadn't remembered to drop the blinds the night before and any hopes of getting back to sleep with out getting up first were slim to none, especially as I was curled up in a ball under Seth's jacket on the floor.

I looked up longingly at the bed and was surprised when I found it empty. She must have left as soon as she'd woken up. I looked across the floor, relieved to find Seth just as I'd left him. I pushed myself up, rubbed my eyes and stood up slowly.

The pain in my side reminded me just what had happened the night before. I made it as far as the bed before I sat down again, I simply pushed back the covers and crawled in. A shadow falling across my pillow, however, told me that I would not be permitted to fall back asleep.

I looked up and saw Mrs Cohen with her hands on her hips in the doorway, her nostrils flaring.

"Thank God." She snapped, causing Seth to wake up quickly. "What happened to your face?" She asked him as he sat up.

"Mmm." He rubbed his eyes and yawned, "I got into a fight."

"With who? Why?"

"I don't really know. I don't really remember. Um... I was really drunk. Yeah, I think I still am a little bit." His attempt to stand up failed, and he crashed back down onto his make shift bed. Kirsten was anything but impressed.

"Let's go. House. _Now!_" She said in a tone reminiscent of my mothers.

Kirsten grabbed Seth by the hand and yanked him up, after his complete and utter lack of movement, and pulled him out of the pool house. Seth turned to me and tried to wave as he stumbled through the door.

"Later." Kirsten simply snapped at me, before slamming the door shut behind her and Seth making the glass rattle in their frames.

I laid back down, it was too early for yelling, too early for trouble. However, I was too awake to get back to sleep so I got up and found my clothes. I pulled off the dress and threw it on the bed, I wanted to look at my bruises before I got dressed. I stood back in front of the mirror, but instead of being vein I simply felt the edges of all my bruises. They would have made Mom, Trey and AJ proud. If only they could have seen me.

I went to my school bag and pulled out some clean clothes. Just a plain fitted 'T' and some jeans, nothing nearly as spectacular as the dress Mrs Cohen had leant me.

I looked round the pool house for a hanger for it, it was creased enough without me trying to fold it. However, finding none I simply laid it out on the bed. It was a mess. Sand had stuck to the wet alcohol of the night before. I tried to wipe it off but to no avail. Giving up I just walked into the kitchen.

"Look, Alex, I don't mean to play bad cop." Mrs Cohen said the moment I'd opened the door. "It's nothing personal-"

"But you want me to go home?" I'd known this was coming, before I'd left the pool house, I'd even re-packed my bag so that I was ready to go.

"I'm sorry." She looked away, not wanting to meet my gaze. "You seem like a really nice girl."

"No, I don't." I said seriously, "I got your son into, most likely, the first fight he's ever got into and that's not to mention getting him drunk."

"Well, yeah, actually."

"I have to go home sometime anyway." I told her. "Just, can I say goodbye to Seth?" She simply nodded and gave me directions to his room.

I knocked on his door, having got no reply I just walked right in. "Hey, wake up." I smiled at his once again sleeping form, only this time he was out of the suit.

He rolled over slowly and smiled when he saw me. "Hey."

"So I'm going to head home." I told him, pointing out his door as I said so.

"Are you leaving? So..." He stumbled as he tried to stand. He sat back down clutching at his head. He tried again, more successful, and walked over to where I was standing by the entrance, "Um. So, what's up?"

"I got to go back. Try to figure some stuff out back home."

"Okay." He nodded slowly. "Well ... cool. Or ... not cool, but, uh, you know, what I think I mean." He smiled weakly.

"Drink plenty of water and, uh, take a couple of Asprin." I pointed to his head, when he just stared back at me confused.

"Come here." Seth pulled me in to a hug just for me to push him away.

"I don't do hugs." I told him, "See ya." I smiled one more time before turning to leave.

"Wait a second. Just wait a second." He walked over to the desk, grabbed a map and handed it to me. "Maybe there's someplace you want to go." I stared at the map of Tahiti in front of me "It's pretty good for ideas."

"You're such a geek." I laughed at him, hitting him with his map.

I made my way down stairs and thanked Mrs Cohen again. Sandy loaded my beaten up bike into his trunk once more and followed me into the car.

As we pulled out of the driveway I saw Marissa standing at the end of her drive again. I watched. She watched me back. Our eyes locked. We hadn't said much to each other, we had a big zero in common, yet I still wanted anything but to leave her instead I wanted to get to know her.

As Sandy drove further away from his house, I had to turn my head to look at her. I kept watching until I saw Shell Necklace's truck pull up, blocking her from view.

When I first met her I was enchanted by her by the time I left Newport I was mesmerised by her. I couldn't get her out of my head. And what was even more frustrating was that I had no idea why.

* * *

The drive back was a blur, it was over before I'd even registered it beginning. I only knew I was home when Sandy applied the parking break and stepped out to unload my bike.

I joined him on the sidewalk outside my home. I'd never realised how much of a dump my house was until that point. The front yard was littered with mouldy mattresses, a broken washing line, a couple of old chairs, not to mention all the other crap in it.

"So, thanks." I sighed, "for everything."

"I'm going to make sure everything works out, Alex." Sandy told me and I actually believed him.

"I know," I nodded as I pushed open my gate, which was on its hinges. Sandy made to follow me, but I stopped him. "It's okay. I can take it from here." I walked my bike up the path, knowing Sandy was still behind me, watching my every move. I cast it aside when I fumbled for my keys to unlock the front door but was un-surprised to find it open. I pushed the door further and stopped dead when I saw the inside.

The house was empty except for some random, abandoned junk. All the furniture was gone. I ran the short space of my front room, wanting to find signs of life. A sign that she hadn't just upped and left. A sign that I would find her, even her dead beat boyfriend at this stage, I didn't care. I just couldn't find the house empty. I couldn't have been abandoned.

I walked back into the kitchen area and found a note on the counter. A note. A fucking note. Leant my head against the cupboard and picked it up. I didn't bother to read it. What was the point? She'd left that's all I needed to know. I didn't need some how or why. I needed a mother. Not some drunk that ran off at the first sign of trouble.

I heard Sandy approach. I didn't know what to do. My mother, the person I'm meant to be closest to in the world, had abandoned me. I was numb.

I'd always known she didn't want me. It was bad enough she'd had my brother, fifteen and knocked up. That was a mistake. Having me; well that was just stupid. She'd had a fit when I told her I was gay. I'd looked my self in the bathroom to get away from her hands. Her drunken hitting. She'd found me in bed with the girl next door, I could hardly deny being gay. I remember I just sat there crying out to her, 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' Trying to figure out her mood through the door. Boyfriend after boyfriend hated me. Dyke. She only seemed to find dead beat red necks. But she didn't though me out. I was never home. Its bloody hard to throw someone out when they're not there.

Jail though, that was the last straw. I don't know why. Dad? Jail. Brother? Jail. Ex? Jail. Me? Gay and trouble well what sort of mother could raise that?

And yet I, however much I knew we didn't get on. However much we didn't even like each other. Coming home and finding her gone was a shock, and it hurt. At the end of the day she was my mom, she shouldn't just leave me.

I kicked the unit. I hit the cupboard. My knuckles white and sore. Tears running down my face. What the fuck had I done to deserve this?

"Come on, let's go." His voice tore me from my thoughts.

I was in shock. Who wouldn't be? I walked over to him, my vision now blurred. He put his arm around me and I cried into his shoulder. He led me out of the house and shut the door behind him. He shut the door to my past life.

* * *

R&R, thank you. Circus


	2. The Model Home

**The Model Home**

"Guys come on." Sandy called to us from the barbecue. "Out of the pool. Dinner's almost ready."

I looked to Seth, who clearly had no intention of getting off his inflatable chair, as to what I should do. He simply shrugged off his dad and continued so stare at me.

"Will you please stop?" I asked him.

"What?" He asked my breasts, before shaking his head. "What?" He repeated, this time making sure I knew he was looking at my head, I simply glared at him. "Sorry." He said sheepishly. "Anyway," he shook his head once more, "you know what I was thinking? I think that this being your last night and all, uh, we should do something special I don't know what. Possibly get a couple of tattoos," he continued after pausing for a beat, "or some hookers and loose our virginity. Do they have hookers for lesbians?" I splashed water at him, trying to get his eyes to unglaze at the thought of lesbian sex. "Right? Okay, sorry." He said again. "There's a shark movie at the IMAX. If that's what you're into." I just shrugged at him. "You're doing that quiet thing again, I thought I'd got you to talk more."

"It comes in peaks and waves." I explained, relieved for a break in his ramblings.

"This about you leaving tonight?" I just shrugged again. "See," he pointed at me, "this is why we should go out and do something, go out and get you out of your dark, quiet brooding thing you seem to do occasionally.

"I don't brood."

"No," he drawled, "and you're not sarcastic either."

I rolled my eyes at him, "Why can't we just take it easy?"

"Cause I think my prostitute plan is a winner." He smiled at me.

I just shook my head at him, and rolled off my inflatable chair. "Come on. Out." I said before pushing over his chair so that he got out of the pool too and then swam to the edge and climbed out. I grabbed my towel off one of the lounges and padded into the pool house, making sure to drop the blinds before getting changed, knowing Seth was still looking at me.

I towelled off quickly and threw on my last set of clean clothes, tying my hair into a lose ponytail so not to get the back of my shirt wet. I chucked Kirsten's bikini onto the floor of the shower, hoping that that would encourage it to dry and I walked back into the main house.

"How was your swim?" Kirsten asked, as I shut the door behind me.

"Alright," I shrugged at her.

"You're quieter today, you okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded at her, putting on a smile in the hope of reassuring her of my happiness before quickly changing the subject. "What's this?" I asked her, pointing to a small cardboard building on the kitchen counter.

"It's a model home. I- I build them." She explained, leaning over it with me. "Well, the real ones, not that one."

"Wanna build me one?" I didn't look up from the model, but I heard her mouth open and close beside me. "Sorry," I moved my head and saw her looking guiltily at me; "it was a joke." I said quietly.

"Funny." She muttered, turning away and grabbing plates for dinner before passing them to me to put on the table.

I laid them down and sat at one of the chairs, to be joined by Seth a moment later and then Sandy placing down food from the grill.

"So... last supper, huh?" He said, sitting down opposite, "Sorry," he apologised to Kirsten upon seeing her face. "Bad joke."

"It's just a laugh riot around here." She sighed at him, sitting down at the head of the table.

"This all looks really good." I told them, after a pregnant pause.

"Yeah." Seth nodded next to me. "It's too bad you're leaving. We never eat like this."

"That's not true." Kirsten said, still looking indignant. "I cook all the time."

Seth simply scoffed at this remark "Dad..."

"I'm sorry, honey." He laughed.

"Let's just eat." She told them both.

"We're not saying we want you to cook more." Sandy said, cutting up his food.

"Oh," Seth scoffed once more, "hell no! You remember the meat loaf incident of '98?"

"That was brisket." She told him.

"Yeah," he nodded, "that's my point exactly."

I just sat in relative silence, listening to their exchange around me. I didn't want to go and consequently I didn't know what to say to them.

The few days I'd stayed with them had been some of the best days of my life and such a contrast to everything back in Chino. The Cohen's talked to each other and further more enjoyed each other's company. They sat down to eat together, watched movies together… they were an actual family.

It made me sad thinking about mine. We were seldom all in the house at the same time. And if we were? Trey would be in his room smoking some sort of drug whilst his rap music was up at the highest volume, Mom would be passed out on the couch, AJ in his chair yelling at the TV and I would be sat in my room reading something to take my mind out of the house. Though we were all there we were anything but together.

I knew that this would be the best I could achieve out of life. Sandy had used his links at the D.A.'s office to get me a quick placement. 'Eighteen and out' was the only thing going through my mind as he told me.

After dinner, Sandy put some forms in front of me and asked me to sign them. "As your attorney I'll co-sign these forms," he said as I ran the pen over the paper. "They basically say that you don't have a legal parent or guardian available."

"I'm now property of the government. Nickname: 0382965." I sighed, "Suits me."

"Hey, it's better than 'Death-Breath' Seth," Seth joked from the sink as he died the dishes, "Or so I would imagine." He mumbled, when I simply looked at him.

"So we'll meet with your social worker in the morning." Sandy continued, ignoring us both. "And, uh, she'll be the one to, uh, to take you to the group home. My contact at Child Services got you a room with only two other kids, which is good, because it can get crowded."

"Thanks. I appreciate it…" I nodded, still staring at the forms, 'Eighteen and out' once again running round my head. "I don't want to have to fight over the bathroom whilst a load of fourteen year old girls scramble to put on their makeup."

"And, you know, they do find foster homes for kids your age."

"Yeah." I sighed; my eyes still locked on the number 0382965.

"Yeah, because everybody wants a brand-new teenager." Seth said, making me take my eyes off the form for the first time since it had been put in front of me. "I'm sorry," he continued, ignoring the looks from his parents, "if I'm the only one here that'll state the obvious-"

"Seth..." Kirsten was practically begging him to stop with her eyes alone.

"But we have all this extra room, right?" He continued regardless. "We have a pool house. Yet you guys are going to ship her off to a group home. Am I the only one who gets how much that sucks?"

"It's fine really." I told him, putting my signature on another form. "Just drop it." I put the pen down and pushed the papers towards Sandy. "Good luck with the model home." I smiled weakly at Kirsten, as I passed it on the way to the door. "It looks perfect. Good night." I nodded to all of them opening the door.

"Good night." They said in near perfect unison.

I walked back out to the pool house, I was already packed up, so that was taken care of. I walked round the small space before remembering the bikini. I walked in the en suite and was hardly surprised to find it still wet. I picked it up and hung it on the towel rack before heading back out and flinging myself on the bed.

'Eighteen and out.' I though as I laid there, still in my clothes. Maybe my vision of foster care would be better had I not read White Oleander.

I was sixteen, I could take care of myself, and I didn't need to be dubbed with a number and watched by people paid to care about me. I'd practically looked after myself when I was living with Mom; I didn't need anybody else. If I learned anything, I'd learned that.

I rubbed my eyes and considered my options. I could go with the social services lady and spend the next two years being pushed from pillar to post until the government decided I was old enough to not be babysat. Or I could just leave and look after myself. People were unreliable at the end of the day; I had myself that was all I needed.

I waited until all the lights had gone out in the main house, then waited at bit more to guarantee the Cohens were all asleep before I scooped up my bag and quietly left the pool house and headed towards the gate.

"Uh, are you running away?" I turned round and saw Seth standing on the patio in his pyjamas.

"Seriously," I sighed, putting my hand to my head and rubbing my temples, "why can't I hear anyone approach anymore?"

"What?" He frowned at me.

"Go back in the house, Seth," I told him. "I know what I'm doing." I said turning back and walking to the gate.

"Hey, hey, hey." He caught up with me and put his hand on my shoulder, pulling me back. "You can't just run away. What are you thinking? What about like, Child Services, or, or my Dad?"

"'Eighteen and out'? Yeah that's not going to be me." I said, shrugging his hand away.

"Okay, then, wait." His hand was back on my shoulder. "Hey, I want to come with you. You know what I've always wanted to do besides sail to Tahiti? I want to do that whole Kerouac thing, hit the road, stop at diner to diner, the pancake tour of North America."

"More of a waffle fan myself, so that's going to be a 'no'."

"Do you at least know where you're going to go, what you're going to do?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, "Hit a town, get a job somewhere, save some money."

"That's a great plan." He deadpanned. "Sounds like you've given it a lot of thought."

"Beats the hell out of a pancake tour!" I hissed at him. "Have any other bright ideas?"

"Actually, I do." He slowly started to smile.

"Oh no." I pointed at his face. "I know you well enough to know that that is not a good sign."

He told me to wait at the bottom of the drive and that he'd meet me there in five minutes. However, twelve minutes later, there was no sign of him. He plan wasn't brilliant but it was the best thing I had at the time so I simply kept glancing between the house and my watch wondering just exactly where this 'totally fool proof starting place' for me was.

"I didn't think I'd see you again." I jumped at the sound of her voice.

"Jesus Christ." I sighed at her, my hand on my heart. "You scared the crap out of me."

"Didn't you hear me coming?" She asked, using her free hand to point over her shoulder but not taking her eyes off me.

"I haven't been very good at hearing people approach recently."

"You might want to get your hearing checked out then." she smiled walking away from her drive and towards me. "Look," she swallowed, "I wanted to say thanks, for the other night."

"No problem." I shrugged, "Actually that's a lie, carrying you from your drive to the Cohens' pool house was harder than I anticipated." I smiled weakly. "You always drink like that?" I asked her after a break in the conversation.

"I don't know," she folded her arms around the present she was holding, "you always lie about who you are?"

"What you mean?"

"You decided which parent lives in Seattle?" She asked me, raising just one of her eyebrows slightly.

"Ah." I scratched the side of my head.

"So, who are you tonight?"

"I'm, uh, Alex." I went to hold out my hand, but then thought better of it and stuffed it back in my pocket, "And I'm the girl I told you I was the first time we spoke."

"The stolen car?" she frowned at me.

"Is now being used as evidence to hold my brother for three to five years," I nodded glumly, "That and a gun and some pot."

"And you're from?"

"Chino."

"Explains the clothes." She said simply, starting to walk back to her drive.

"What's wrong with my clothes?" I called after her, having looked my outfit up and down.

"Nothing." She shrugged, "if you're into stealing cars."

"Least I'm sober!" I retorted quickly.

The comment, which was incredibly low, made her walk back towards me, she pointed at and opened her mouth. However, just as she was clearly about to yell at me she stopped, instead choosing to stare over my shoulder. I turned and instantly spotted what, rather who, she was looking at. Seth was running down the drive carrying what looked suspiciously like a skateboard.

"Alex, we're all set. You ready-" He stopped suddenly, clearly having realised that Marissa was standing beside me, her finger still pointed at me. "Hi, there, Marissa."

"What are you doing?" She asked us, finally dropping her hand.

"Nothing." Seth and I told her quickly.

"We're just hanging out." He continued, "Oh look," He pointed to the gift, "it's somebody's birthday. I guess my invitation probably got lost in the mail."

"It's my friend, Summer's, birthday." She told him.

"Summer's birthday's not till Wednesday… That's what I heard. I don't know. I... that was a geu-"

"Stop talking." I told him.

"You guys are up to something." Marissa said eventually, eyeing us both with curiosity.

"Dude," Seth turned to me, "what did you tell her?"

"I didn't tell her anything." I told him simply before pulling at his top, "I think the black turtleneck in August might have tipped her off though."

"Okay, I was going for stealth, and also it's slimming. We should really go," he said quickly, "Have fun at your party."

"Say hi to Summer for me." I smiled at her, picking up my bike from the curb.

"Dude!" Seth said, looking at me somewhat pathetically.

"Oh don't pull that face," I sighed, "I didn't mean it like that. Nothing happened."

"Uh," Marissa interrupted us, "what are you two talking about?"

"Nothing." I said quickly. "Don't you have some sort of party to be going to?" I made a slight shooing motion at her.

She looked at us both for a moment, apparently considering her answer before she said: "It can wait."

* * *

"Why won't you tell me where we're going?" Marissa asked Seth via her rear-view mirror. "This is pretty far away."

"Oh, wow, complaining. That's- that's very interesting considering nobody invited you."

"Before I came along, you were on a skateboard." She smiled at him.

"She has a point." I said, looking over the back of the front seat at him.

"You can just be quiet." She told me, "I'm not sure if I like you yet."

"Then why are you helping me?" I asked her simply.

"Cause," she sighed, "if it wasn't for you, Dad would have found me asleep on the driveway when he went out to collect the paper and that would have resulted in being grounded for like a month."

"So you do kinda like me then." I smiled at her, to which she simply turned away and focussed on the drive.

"You like them?" She nodded towards her CD player, after obviously getting bored of the silence between us all.

"Yeah, I guess." I shrugged.

"Well, what do you like?"

"Indie mainly. There are some really cool British bands on the scene at the moment." I told her. "You heard of the Arctic Monkeys or The Kaiser Chiefs?" It didn't surprise me when she shook her head. "What are you into then?"

"Well, right now? Punk." She smiled proudly at me.

"I'm sorry, uh, Avril Lavigne doesn't count as punk." Seth piped up from the back.

"Oh yeah?" She asked him, once again communicating via the rear view mirror. "Well, what about The Cramps? Still Little Fingers? The Clash? Sex Pistols?"

"I listen to the same music as Marissa Cooper? I think I have to kill myself." Seth went back to staring out of the window.

"Listen to punk, huh?" I smiled at her.

"I'm angry." She said simply.

"Yeah I know." I laughed at her.

"He-"

"That's it right there." Seth leaned between us and pointed out the windshield, cutting Marissa off. "Dude, it's miles from nowhere, totally secret, and I have a key." He smiled at me.

We pulled up to his darkened, half finished building. It wasn't really even a building; it was a shell, a shape for things to come.

"Look's scary." Marissa told him, staring up at it.

"Well, then, you can stay in the car." Seth replied, opening his door. I copied his lead and hopped out and followed him in to the building.

He illuminated the half-finished building with torch light, somewhat reminiscent of The Famous Five. My eyes followed the light of his torch and saw just how incomplete the building was, what with bits of scaffolding, dustsheets and even a cement mixer in one of the corners. It seemed like the building site version of the Mary Celeste, just abandoned with no apparent reason why.

"You recognise this place, Alex?" He smiled at me.

"This isn't-"

"Where are we?" Marissa asked, before I could finish my sentence.

"Mrs Cohen's model home." I told her looking at Seth. "She's going to kill us if I stay here and then the only way I'll be allowed back in your house is if I haunt the joint."

"I have two problems with what you just said." Seth sighed, holding up two fingers. "One," he put down one of his digits, "will you quit calling Mom 'Mrs Cohen' that's just weird and way too polite for someone that's served time."

"It was a week, I don't think that counts a serving time."

"Time was still technically served my friend." He said, waving me off. "And two," he put down his last finger and then consequently his hand, "this build has been abandoned for weeks with no sign of work re-commencing. Like I told you, fool proof."

"Why?" Marissa asked, "Did someone die here and now it's haunted?"

"Yes," Seth drawled at her, "that's exactly what happened."

"What did happen?" She asked, her hands on her hips.

"I don't know." He shrugged.

"Do you ever listen when you mom talks?" I asked him, taking his torch and walking further into the building.

"I try not to," he said, following me, "it's easier that way."

"Hey!" Marissa called after us, "Don't- don't leave me…" her voice dropped as she said the last bit.

I turned round and shone the light in her eyes; "You're not scared are you?" I smiled at her.

"No." she told me, holding her hand over her eyes, shielding out the light.

"Okay," I nodded at her, before turning back to find Seth.

"Wait!" She said incredibly quickly. "If I admit I'm scared will you wait for me?"

"Come on," I smiled at her, more gently this time, and held out my hand for her which she surprised me by taking.

We found Seth outside, skating in the empty pool; he wasn't actually all that bad. Marissa and I just watched him; till she realised she was still holding my hand and quickly let go and turned back to the house.

"You don't actually want her to stay here, do you?" She called out to Seth.

"Well," he stopped in the centre of the pool, "I mean, I know the place needs some sprucing up, but-" he stopped when he saw my raised eyebrows. "G-d, did I just say 'sprucing'?" I simply nodded. "So," he shook his head, "Alex what do you think?"

"I haven't really had time to think." I told him, turning to look at Marissa, "What with trying to protect Marissa from the scary ghosts and all." I smiled at her, just to be hit on the arm. "Ow!"

"Do you want me to like you?" She asked me.

"Will it mean you stop hitting me?" I asked her back.

"Maybe." She smiled.

"Then yes, I would like you to like me." I said, returning her smile.

"Are you two flirting?" Seth asked, looking up at us from the pool.

"No." Marissa laughed at him. "I'm straight and I have a boyfriend."

"Ah yes," Seth sighed, starting up skating again, "how could I forget after he and his friends tried to kill us the other night."

"Don't exaggerate, they did not try to kill us the other night," I sighed at him. "They tried to kill me!"

"What?" Marissa looked at me; "Luke would not do that, I mean you're a girl." I lifted up my shirt so that she could see the remnants of my bruising from where he'd kicked me. "Ouch." She empathised, her fingers lightly feeling the edge of it.

"Yeah," I nodded, dropping my shirt once she'd taken her hand back, "I said something pretty similar."

"Why though?" She asked frowning.

"Cause it hurt!"

"No I mean why he hit you?"

"Cause I found one of his friends holding Seth by the ankles." She looked over at Seth skating in the pool.

"What?" he questioned.

"Nothing." She shook her head and went back to looking at me. "How that result in you getting hit."

"I kinda hit the guy that was holding Seth and then L- Luke?" she nodded, "hit me for hitting his friend."

"That's not how it works." She told me.

"That's what I told him,"

"I'm sorry." She sighed.

"Looks it really no biggy," I shrugged at her, "I'm used to guys hitting me. How I learnt to throw a punch in the first place." That sentence left a silence between us, broken only by the sound of Seth's wheels spinning on the concrete of the pool "You hungry?" I asked her after a while.

"A little."

"Seth, we're going out for take out, you want anything?"

"I'm good."

"Cool, see you in a bit then." I nodded at him, to which he simply raised his hand as way of goodbye. I held out my hand for Marissa, "Coming?" I asked her when she simply looked at it, "Or do you want to brave the house alone?" to which she grabbed my hand and I pulled her through the house with me to her car.

* * *

"So, your mom," Marissa asked me, a mouth full of burger, as we sat opposite each other in a booth at McDonald's "I mean, she has to come back, right?"

"I don't know, she might be too busy drinking." I sighed, popping a couple of fries in my mouth. "My mom's... kind of a train wreck, with some rabid dogs sifting through the mess."

"Wow," She smiled, "mine's pretty similar. What about your dad? Can you call him?"

"Dad's in jail. He decided he wanted to empty his, and everyone elses', accounts by using a gun. Cool, huh?"

"No wonder you brother was into stealing cars." She said, eyebrows raised.

"You got to have a good role model." I smiled at her, starting on her fries having finished mine.

"My dad, he's like, a financial planner. And I think he's in trouble."

"I heard that Phfzer are doing good. Tell him to invest." She stopped sipping at her drink and looked at me quizzically. "No? You mean that wasn't a cue for stock tips? Sorry, my bad."

"He stopped going to the office," she explained after getting over my Phfzer type interruption, "and these guys keep showing up at the door, like cops, but he won't answer." She pause again, "Look, I haven't told anybody about it-"

"I can keep a secret. I'm very good under torture." We simply sat and smiled at each other until Avril Lavigne's 'Sk8er Boi' rang out from her phone. I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing, thinking about what Seth had said in the car.

"Yeah I know," she rolled her eyes, "it's not punk."

"Hey," I held up my hands, "I didn't say anything."

She picked up her cell and checked out the caller ID.

"I got to take this." She said as she slipped out the booth and flipped open her phone. "Hey," she said into it. "Oh, you're sweet…" I tried not to listen to her conversation as I polished off her fries. "Okay, I'll be there soon. Say hi to everyone… Love you too. Bye." She sat back down and shook her cartoon of fries up side down and watched as only one fell out, she looked up and me with her raised eyebrows yet again.

"What?" I asked, "I'd finished mine."

"Fine," she nodded snatching up my Diet Coke, "I get your drink." She smiled.

"Fine." I smiled back as I listened to her 'slurp' from my empty cup.

"You owe me." She told me, putting down the cup.

"I'll get you more fries." I told her standing up and walking up to the counter, just to walk back to her a second later. I leaned over her and whispered in her ear, "Hey, can I borrow a dollar?"

"Just sit down." She laughed finishing her burger before I could.

"So," I tried to sound as nonchalant as I was able, "how long you been with him?"

"Luke? Um, I don't know, really. Why?"

"No reason." I shrugged at her. "So…" She laughed quietly. "Come on," I balled up my trash and chucked it on the tray, "or Seth's going to think we've died." I stood up and headed towards the door.

"Or having sex." She suggested simply, making me stop dead, she just laughed in my ear as she passed me.

* * *

We walked back into the house to find Seth sitting in the centre of, what I assumed would turn out to be, the main room hugging his skateboard close to his chest. He stood up the second he saw us and instantly placed his hands on his hips.

"How long does it take to pick up take out?" he asked indignantly.

"We ended up eating in." I explained.

"And then we had sex in the bathroom." Marissa said simply looking round the room, she turned round when neither Seth or I said anything. "You should so see your faces." She laughed.

"You had sex?" Seth bounced excitedly. "Don't suppose you have any pictures to show me."

"One." I hit him round the back of the head. "And two; we didn't have sex."

"Then why…" he pointed to Marissa.

"I don't know." I told him. "So what you been doing?"

"Oh yeah." He went back to smiling. "Follow me. So as you two like abandoned me for so long-"

"Alex asked if you wanted anything." Marissa said to him, her hand miraculously back in mine as we were walking through the house.

"I didn't then…" he muttered, as he pushed aside a dustsheet used as a curtain. "Anyway," he shook his head, "as I was left to my own devises so long I thought I'd have a look around the place and," he shrugged, shining his torch around the room, "thought this could be your room."

"I still don't know," I shrugged at him, my hands deep in my pockets since Marissa had let go of my hand, "if it's a good idea for me to stick around or not."

"You should stay." Marissa told me, as she too stared around the space.

I looked at her and smiled. "Okay… for a little while."

"So when she says it you, you listen?" Seth asked me.

"She has prettier hair." I smiled, refusing to take my eyes of her, just to get hit on the arm by Seth.

"Dude." He laughed.

"Wha-" however, I was interrupted by Marissa's purse singing 'Skater Boi' into the unfinished room.

"Oh my G-d!" Seth laughed at her.

"Don't." she told him as she fumbled through her bag, she looked at the caller ID before flipping open her phone once more. "Hey, Summer."

"Oh, hey, hey, hey. Is that Summer?" Seth jumped excitedly as Marissa nodded slightly "Tell her I said happy birthday."

"Okay… Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm coming." She continued into her cell.

"Tell her I said 'Happy Birthday'!" Seth smiled at her.

"Seth Cohen says happy birthday…" She covered the speaker with her hand, "She says thanks." She told him before placing the phone back to her ear and walking away to finish her conversation.

Seth bounced up and down beside me, a stupidly big smile on his face.

"Why are you so happy?" I laughed at him before dropping my voice to make sure Marissa didn't over hear, "I mean we don't even know if she likes guys."

"Dude," he pointed at me, "don't ruin this moment for me!" To which I simply held up my hands and allowed him to go back to bouncing until Marissa returned.

"I gotta go meet my friends." She looked between me and Seth before correcting herself. "My... other... friends."

"I should get back too." Seth said, "Protect my cover. But wait, listen, we have to promise not to tell anyone about this place, okay? Now, Alex's not going to, obviously. And I could get grounded, so that leaves... Marissa." he shone his flashlight on her like a spotlight.

"I'm very good under torture." She smiled at me.

"Okay," he clapped his hands together, "see you tomorrow."

"Me too." Marissa added quickly, "We'll fix this place up."

"Cool." I smiled back at her.

"I'm telling you Al, this plan is foolproof…" He smiled before heading out the hanging dust sheet with Marissa, "You've got your very own model home." He called back to me just as I sat down on the hard, cold, unfinished floor and wondered about how the hell I was going to be able to get to sleep on it.

* * *

"So you didn't tell them anything?" I asked Seth the next day as he threw me a bundled up tent.

"Um, actually I told them that you went to Mexico for cockfights." He smiled as he dropped the bag he was carrying and started to unpack it.

"You wanna help me with this?" I asked looking up at him from my seat on the floor surrounded by various bits of tent that I had no idea what to do with.

"Marissa?" he asked nodding towards me.

"You're the guy; you set it up." She laughed at him.

"Chivalry's dead, Sweetheart." She sighed before she came down and crouched besides me, picking up the mangled paper instructions. "You know what though?" Seth continued, ignoring us and the tent, "Even if they don't believe me they'll never look for you here." He moved and started to unpack the things Marissa had brought. "Did you seriously bring a loafer?"

"What's a loafer?" I asked her as I connected metal poles with her.

"What kind of girl are you?" she laughed at me, throwing the canvas over me.

"The kind that is apparently too busy stealing cars to know what a loafer is." I laughed back as I pulled the tent off me and started threading one of the metal poles into their allocated slot.

"Anyway," she turned to Seth, "you said bring whatever was around the house."

"But, I meant like, survival supplies like a rope or muskets and not…" he picked up a bottle, "Kio's cucumber moisturiser?"

"Okay," she looked me up and down before conceding, "that was probably a bad call but…" she got up and went over to Seth and her bag, "I did bring this." She smiled proudly as she pulled out a roll of toilet paper.

"Good idea." I nodded at her.

"That's nice, yeah." Seth agreed, starting to practice his putting with the golf supplies he'd apparently brought for me. He putted the ball into the next ball and when he went to retrieve it, Marissa pulled another object out of her bag and handed it to me.

It was a mixed CD, with a picture of a house on it and she'd titled it 'The Model Home.'

"There's a little of everything." She explained, pointing at the CD.

"It got Avril on?"

"She didn't make the cut." She smiled back. "But there's all the punk I'm listening to at the moment."

"Cool." I nodded at her, "You bring a CD player for me to listen to it on?"

She went back to the bag and pulled out a small pink portable stereo system. "It's my sisters." She explained, noting me eyeing up the colour with suspicion. "She hasn't used it since she got her iPod, which by the way, is also pink."

I laughed at her, "When I first bumped into you, I reckoned you'd be all pink and," I waved my hand.

"And?" She prompted.

"Well," I shrugged at her, "you're actually kind of cool."

"That's it?" She laughed as she playfully placed her hands on her hips to emphasise her mock anger. "I miss most of my best friend's birthday party to get you settled into a really dark and creepy abandoned house, and I'm just kind of cool?"

"Well the house isn't dark and scary, especially now its day time." I smiled at her. "Plus you don't have to stay here."

She simply rolled her eyes leaving the room in silence until Seth walked back in, throwing up and down his golf ball he'd retrieved.

"This place is perfect." He smiled, "Seriously, it's totally safe. Al, how perfect is this place, right? Seriously, what else could you need?"

"Anyone bring any food?"

"Um ... yeah, food." He nodded at Marissa, who simply shook her head, "Guess we're going on a mission."

* * *

I followed Seth to the dinner, him on his skateboard and Marissa holding onto my shoulders on the back of my bike.

We made our way into a more populated area, with completed and even inhabited buildings. Marissa rode on the back of my bike, holding me close for support, followed Seth, on his skateboard, onto a pier and we were forced to weave in and out of the midday crowd. He stopped outside a dinner, making me break suddenly to stay next to him which caused Marissa to hug me closer to save falling off.

"Sorry," Seth said sheepishly as he looked at me and Marissa leaned over my handle bars, "I just really like the food here."

"Say, guys," I said after we'd ordered lunch, "I've been thinking about a plan."

"You know, uh, right now this could very well be the first stop on our pancake tour of North America." Seth smiled.

"I told you I'm all about the waffles."

"Hey, like in "On the Road"?" Marissa asked ignoring my waffle comment. "That's my favourite book."

"Mine, too." Seth said slowly.

"So here's the deal." I said, trying to get the conversation back on track. "My mom had this boyfriend. He hired me to work this lame waitress gig last summer. But then they broke up... he moved away... to Austin."

"In Texas?" Seth asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "He said if I was ever out there look him up, so..." I shrugged.

"Well, I mean, well that's... really kind of far." Seth said, looking at Marissa, "We were thinking like Long Beach or something so we could all hang out."

"Well I got to stick around for a couple of days, find some work so I can get bus money."

"Well, I mean, we can get you money."

"Seth, I don't want your money."

"Well," Marissa shrugged, "I can lend you some money."

"I think both of you missed the 'me getting a job for a couple of days' part of the plan."

"Yeah well," Seth said simply, "I think you missed the point of getting to know rich people." To which Marissa laughed.

"That's sweet you guys, but seriously I can't take your money." I told him, before a woman put down our meals in front of each of us.

"Well, I mean, you know," Seth threw one of his chips in his mouth, "I guess in a way, you're kind of lucky. You get to move to a whole new place, start over, be whoever you want to be. That's really not so bad." I simply shrugged dipping a finger into his chilli.

"Do you just eat everyone's food?" Marissa laughed.

"Well," I pointed at her salad; "I'm not going to be eating yours today."

"What's wrong with my salad?" She asked.

"It's like healthy and crap." I said, picking up one of her cherry tomatoes and just dropping it back down.

"Yeah well its good to eat healthily," she said popping the tomato into her mouth, "and if it means you won't steal my food, well that's just an added bonus."

I opened my mouth to respond but I stopped when the door opened and a group of boys walked in making a lot of fuss and even more noise. I looked over my shoulder and saw Shell Necklace and his Beach Boys all laughing.

"Hey putz" Shell Necklace laughed at the bus boy, "what's it take to get a menu around here?" before sitting down at in a booth with his friends and making a lot of noise.

"Okay," Marissa sighed, "I'll handle it."

"No, no." I said, turning back towards her and Seth, "let me."

"What?" She raised her eyebrows at me, putting a hand on my shoulder to keep me in my seat, "So you can get your arse kicked again?"

"I didn't get my arse kicked," I told her simply, "he had the advantage."

"Which was?" she asked as she stood.

"Being taller and stronger and having at five friends all taller and stronger than me." I said quietly, folding my arms.

"This is why in most circles girls don't fight boys."

"I could take him." I pointed at her.

"Yeah if you were bigger and had grenades." Seth laughed.

"Why don't you guys just sneak out back?" She suggested before walking over to Shell Necklace and sliding into his booth with him and his friends.

"Why do you two keep flirting?" Seth whispered across the table at me.

"We're not flirting."

"Please it's so obvious you're into her."

"I'm not."

"Yeah?" he pointed at my face, "So why then is your face all red?"

"Seth," I hissed quietly at him, "will you please just shut up and get up."

I got up and headed out the back with Seth behind me. I had the fire exit handle in my hand when a waitress poked her head out of the kitchen and told us to use the front door. I sighed and flipped my hood up, covering what remained of my purple streak and headed back into the main bit of the dinner. I got to and out of the front door without being noticed. Seth however, managed to walk into a bus boy and sent his tray to the ground.

Shell Necklace turned and saw Seth, hurriedly trying to tidy up.

"Hi," he said sheepishly, "How you guys doing?" he waved at Shell Necklace and the Beach Boys. "You like the food here too? Pretty awesome."

"Shut up, queer." Shell Necklace told him before turning back.

"Well, at least I don't shave my chest." I heard Seth mutter, and so did Shell Necklace as he snapped his head back so he was glaring at Seth.

"What'd you say?" He asked, rising from his seat.

"Luke," Marissa pulled at his arm, "come on."

"I just say you look nice in a sweater vest." Seth fumbled with his words nervously, "It was a compliment."

"Do you want me to break you, Cohen?" He asked, free of Marissa and in Seth's face.

It was at this point that I walked back into the dinner and stepped between them. "Seth come on lets go."

"No way. Look who's back!" Shell Necklace laughed turning me round so he could look at me. "You know," he grabbed the sides of my hood and yanked it down, "you're a little far from Eight Mile, dyke!"

"Luke!" Marissa stood up and made her way to my side.

"What're you like spokesperson for 'Geeks of America' or something?" he asked her, clearly as confused as I was by her move.

"No," she said, her hands on her hips, "but I am a leading member of 'Homophobia died out in the 1990's'."

"Good one." I smiled at her.

"Thank you." She smiled back.

"Hold up! Are you joining her fold or something?" he frowned before turning to me, "You converted her to your perverse ways?"

"How come in porn it's erotic but in real life it's perverse?" I asked him.

"Cause in porn the girls end up give at least one guy head and then take it up the arse." Seth explained in my ear.

Marissa gave him a quizzical look and then simply shook her head: "I've not been converted, and its not perverse," she held up her hand to stop either me or Shell Necklace, I mean Luke, saying anything, "I just think its really shitty and pathetic how you're treating her." She paused before continuing, "I mean if she was black you wouldn't talk to her like that."

"If he did, his outfit would be totally wrong." I said gesturing up and down his body, "should be more of a white shee-"

"You're not helping." She told me. "And you," she pointed at Luke, "are going to leave Alex alone ore you can simply leave me alone." She folded her arms in front of her.

"Come on guys." Luke said deflated to his friends, "Lets go to the yacht club, seems they're serving any one here nowadays." He shot me one more glare before walking out the door quickly followed by the Beach Boys.

"Wow." I told her sitting back down and taking a bite out of my cold toasted sandwich.

"Yeah you've got Luke totally…" he made some sort of noise with his mouth accompanied by a hand action.

"What the hell was that?" Marissa asked him.

"Whipped." He said simply. "How was that not obvious?"

"Cause it sounded nothing like whipping." I told him. "Anyway, I am impressed," I turned to Marissa, "I had seen that going in a totally different direction."

"Yeah like you hitting Luke and then saying some quick whitted bit." Seth nodded at me.

"Yeah like asking 'Hey, you know what I like about rich kids?' bam! I hit him and then when he was on the floor I tell him 'Nothing!'"

"That would have been really lame though." Marissa said.

"Just as well you didn't hit him then." Seth laughed.

* * *

Marissa and Seth split the bill for our cold lunch and after discussing why exactly why Luke shaves his chest, we made our way back to the model home.

"So what kind of job you going to get?" Marissa asked as we walked closer to the house.

"I don't know," I shrugged, pushing my bike, "whatever I can get that doesn't involve joining the army."

"Well I'll have a look in the paper for you, when I get home."

"Cheers." I smiled at her, just as Seth headed back towards us on his board.

"Mom's car is out the front of the house."

"Well, what does that mean?" Marissa asked him.

"That Mom's in the house, maybe looking around. I don't know."

"Well why don't we simply go round the back of the house and check it out. I mean we need to know if I can sleep there tonight."

Seth simply shrugged before we headed back to the house, making sure that no one could see us when we passed any windows or spaces in the brickwork anyway.

"-I had my first kiss there." We heard a man say, as we passed one of the gaps. Seth motioned for us to stay there, so we leant against the wall and simply listened to the rest of the conversation.

"Me, too." Kirsten replied to the man. "So what's going on, Jimmy?" She asked after a pause.

"Uh ... well ... it's been a really bad year with the market and uh, well it's disastrous. And it's going to be a struggle just to remain solvent for the next-"

"How much do you need Jimmy?"

"It's, it's… it's a lot, it's a lot of money, too much."

"Jimmy."

"It's a hundred thousand dollars."

"I'll call the bank."

"No, I, I can't-" the man stuttered at her.

"I can."

"I, I, I'll pay you back. But it's gonna to take me a couple months."

"I know where you live." Kirsten laughed at him.

"This place is going to be perfect." He told her after a break in the conversation.

"I hope so. New contractors get here tomorrow. Better get the job finished" Kirsten told him.

We heard them start walking in the opposite direction and then eventually the sound of an SUV pulling away, leaving us still leaning against the wall just listening to silence.

"Who was the guy?" I asked eventually.

"My dad." Marissa said quietly.

"Oh."

"Yeah," she nodded.

"So the contractors start tomorrow." Seth said, clearly trying to break up the awkwardness.

"Guess that means I'm gone."

* * *

I spent the evening by myself, hugging my knees mainly. I had Marissa's CD playing as I thought about my options for what felt like the millionth time that month. I'd never had so much time to just sit and think. I'd thought about my life in jail, thought about what my life was going to be like when I waited for Sandy on that wall outside the 7-Eleven and now. Yet again I had no idea what was going to happen to me.

I blamed Trey for making me go with him that day. Yet, however much I focussed on hating him for ruining my life, for making it spiral out of all recognition and out of all control I had only one thought going through my head that I ultimately had chosen to get in that car.

I'd yet to decide whether my life would be better or worse since being kicked out of my home and having no where to go when Jeff Buckley started playing from the pink stereo I had in the corner of my 'room'.

"This song reminds me of you," Marissa smiled sitting next to me.

"Hey," I smiled back at her.

"You proud of me? I got all the way through the scary house without anyone to hold my hand."

"When did it get dark?" I asked looking round the room, for the first time realising why Marissa might find the building site scary.

"Bout an hour ago, didn't you notice?"

"I was caught up in thinking." I said slowly.

"About?"

"How my life got so very out of control."

"Yeah," Marissa looked around the room, stood up and started lighting candles, "I can see that."

"Anyway," I shook my head, "thought you'd be with Luke." I told her once she'd sat down next to me again.

"I'm meant to be a party, told Luke I wasn't feeling well." She told me quietly, "Figured you'd be more in need of my company."

"Thank you." I smiled at her.

"So, talk to me." I just laughed at her. "What?"

"That was pretty vague. What you want me to talk to you about?" I laid down slowly and placed my hands under my head, she mirrored my action next to me.

"Seems weird that we'll never see each other again after tonight."

"Yeah." I nodded staring up at the ceiling. "But hey," I turned to her and saw her watching me, "leave your address and I'll send you a postcard from every town I hit. Maybe if send you a sample of pancake." I smiled at her and she smiled back.

I turned and went back to staring at the ceiling, leaving us in a comfortable silence.

"I wouldn't eat them though," I said eventually, "might get sick."

She laughed, a genuinely happy laugh, and I looked back at her and realised that she made me happy just through the simple act of laughing.

Unfortunately I heard something. "Stop." I told her quickly, jumping up and heading to the window. I spotted Luke and his friends stepping out of Luke's truck, looking up at the house and the noise was confirmed.

"Uh Marissa," I waved her over.

"Bollocks." She said, looking out the window and watching the boys with me.

"He must have followed you."

"I left my car on the street, how would he know for it to be this house?" She asked looking down at them walking round the house.

"I don't know, maybe he's physic." I shrugged, "But you should go, he'll kill you if he finds you here."

"Yeah," she sighed, "I mean he already thinks you're turning me gay."

"Look, just go." I pointed out the door, "There are some back stairs, you should miss him and be able to deny ever being her and therefore save your relationship."

She quickly kissed me on the cheek and then grabbed her purse from where we were lying and ran out the room and into the darkness.

I waited for them to find me. I thought about hiding or running, basically doing anything that wouldn't result in me getting my arse kicked but I ended up simply sitting down and going back to hugging my knees.

"Where's my girlfriend?" Luke asked bursting into the room suddenly. I'd heard his urgent footsteps, along with his friends', on the unfinished stairs so his appearance came as no surprise.

I thought about making some sort of joke, doing some sarcastic bit but couldn't actually be bothered. So I simply shrugged. I didn't know. She could have still been in the house for all I knew.

"Hey," he leaned over me and pointed in my face.

I slapped his hand away. "Didn't your mother ever tell you its rude to point?"

"Didn't your mother ever tell you its unnatural to be a dyke?" He shot back at me, causing his friends to snigger behind him.

"And we're back to the homophobia?" I stood up, "Hey," I smiled at them, "you guys aren't all Republican are you?"

"Look just tell me where my girlfriend is and I'll leave you alone."

"I really doubt that." I sighed. "And like I shrugged at you before, I don't know where Marissa is."

"Well I know she was here with you."

I looked around the room, turned round even; "Well she's not here now." I told him once I was facing him again. "So…" I motioned with my hand for him to leave.

"Oh no we're not going anywhere." He said, arms folded in front of him. "We're going to make sure you know you're place in this town."

"Yeah? Cool." I nodded at him. "And after you kill me you going to go out looking for some Blacks, Jews and gypsies to lynch?"

"What's with this girl?" One of his friends asked him.

"What I don't get is why she's forever with my girlfriend?" Luke said back to him. "Is it some sort of Sugar Rush crush?"

"You know at the end of Sugar Rush the lesbian got the girl." I told him.

"So you're admitting it?" He growled, shoving me up against a wall.

"No," I told him, taking my eyes off him for the first time and looking at the candle I'd just tripped over, "merely explaining that your Sugar Rush analogy was, well," I shrugged, "stupid."

My mom always told me that my big mouth was going to get me into trouble. The other night at the beach after I'd got kicked in the stomach I thought about what she'd yelled at me when I was a kid. That night when I was up against the wall I wished I'd done more than just thought about her and actually listened.

His fist hit me so hard that my head was sent back into the wall, sending another wave of pain through my skull. I felt my lip and was un-surprised to find blood on my fingers as the copper taste rapidly filled my mouth. I spat as much as I could onto the ground next to him before taking a swing at him.

He stumbled slightly, however, the power of my punch was nothing compared to his as he simply shook his head, unfazed by my attempt to hurt him, and hit me again, grabbing my shoulders to stop me from falling and then kneeing me in the stomach. Then he let me fall.

I clutched at my stomach and bit my lip so not to show just how much pain he'd put me through. His friends pulled me up; to allow Luke to hit me more. My head felt so heavy, the pain in my body making it near impossible to concentrate.

"J-" but I wasn't even allowed to get a whole word out before Luke sent me to the floor again. My eyes were shut, if I couldn't see what was going on… Another fist hit me and another and another. I didn't have the strength to both fight and fend off the pain. The first blow to the back of my head had guaranteed an easy fight for Luke.

Then it all suddenly stopped. I heard urgent footsteps again only they were leaving rather than coming towards me. I opened my eyes slowly and with great difficulty, but then wished very much that I hadn't. The room that had been dark, lit only by a couple of candles was bright with flickering lights. Fire. The candle I'd knocked over when Luke sent me into the wall, its flame must have caught on something, cause…

* * *

I felt hands all over me, fumbling, trying to get hold or… then I was moving and then I was on the ground again.

I tried to push myself up, but found myself too heavy. I opened my eyes and watched that truck just speed off leaving me to…

* * *

I walked to the nearest street and stuck my thumb out. I was just walking. I had no idea where I was, which direction I was headed all I knew was that I had to get away from the fire if I wanted to stay out of jail.

The pain in my, well everywhere, told me I should go to a hospital but I very much doubted that Newport even had a County hospital let alone one that would even consider treating me without insurance.

So I just walked. My thumb out as cars passed me.

I don't know how long I'd been walking until a car finally stopped for me. I rubbed my eyes as the window wound down. The person I saw in the driver's seat had me convinced I was suffering from concussion.

"You're okay?"

"Define okay." I asked him, holding my head.

"Where you going?" Luke asked me.

"I don't know." I looked up and down the road I was on. "I don't even know where I am."

"We both keep our mouths shut." Luke pointed out the window, confirming what I'd first thought, he hadn't come back for me. "They may never know it was us." He finished.

"You." I corrected yanking open the passenger side door.

"What are you doing?" He asked as I, gingerly because of the pain I was in, stepped in beside him.

"You're giving me a ride." I told him leaning against the headrest.

"Where?" He sighed, but reluctantly pulled away from the sidewalk.

"Cohens'." I said quietly, shutting my eyes trying to block out the pain.

The drive drifted over me, I just focussed on suppressing the pain. I could think of nothing but the pain. Consequently when Luke stopped the car I was surprised to see the Cohen's house.

I slowly got out of the truck and walked towards the group of people between Marissa's and the Cohens' driveways.

"Alex!" Marissa ran up to me, "What happened?"

I saw her look over my shoulder towards Luke and then back at me. "Nothing." I told her quietly, grabbing at my side as I walked, with her hand around my waist supporting me, towards the adults.

"I'm sorry." I couldn't look at Sandy and Kirsten as I apologised to them, I was too ashamed. They had offered me the best I could achieve and I'd run away from it. The pain shooting through out my body told me that to rely on myself was stupid and that foster care was possibly not the worst thing ever. Except as I looked at the officer stood in amongst the adults I knew that I was never going to see that group home.

"Alex Attwood?" The cop asked. I just put my arms behind my back knowing full well what was about to happen. "We got some questions for you." The officer told me before I felt the cold steel across my wrists.

I looked over to Luke before the officer led me to the police car, holding my head as he went to push me into the back.

"It was an accident." I heard Luke say nervously.

"Yeah," the police officer nodded at him, "you were there?"

"Yeah." Luke swallowed hard, before nodding.

"Then we got some questions for you too."

I watched out of the car as another officer cuffed Luke and marched him to the car and into the seat beside me.

"Officer," Sandy called out before walking over to the car, "I'm Miss Attwoood's attorney. Please don't ask her any questions unless I'm present. Alex..." he ducked down so that he could see me in the car, "keep your mouth shut."

He said a similar thing to Luke, but I was passed caring. I was back to jail. Just like the rest of my family.

I watched out the back window as the car drove away. Marissa just looked away, her eyes glistening. I didn't know which one of us she was crying for. Kirsten simply turned and walked back into the house. Seth, Sandy, two adults who I assumed to be Marissa's parents and Marissa watched us as once again I was being driven away. Away from her and away from any hopes I had of a future.

* * *

R&R, thank you. Circus.


	3. The Gamble

**The Gamble**

I spent the next week in either my cell or the library, unless I was forced out into the exercise yard. I read books, more than I had in the entirety of my previous sixteen years. I read books by old English people like Dickens' Hard Times and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. I read F. Scott Fitzgerald and Arthur Miller, Steinbeck and basically just kept my head down. It was easier the second time round, though I was in a different institution the rules were just the same.

When I first got in they wanted to monitor me, my wounds from Luke more than visible. They checked me out to make sure there was nothing more serious going on inside me. As soon as they told me there was no internal bleeding or smoke inhalation or whatever could have happened to me after having the shit kicked out of me and then left in a fire… I requested to be put straight into Gen. Pop there was no point putting off the inevitable.

The fact that I was in Gen. Pop my face resembling nothing better than a raisin meant that I got a near instant rep. Word spread that I'd got the bruising killing a rapist, a priest, a cop… No one within the prison could agree on who I'd killed, just that I'd killed someone and then burnt down either their car, their church…

So I simply read, lost myself in books to Victorian England, Puritan Massachusetts and the 1920s. It was nice to not think about my life. The rep I'd acquired meant that I was just left alone to drift in and out of other places.

I was brought back into the real world after about five or six days, one of the guards dropped a book down on the table to get my attention. I looked up at her and all she said was:

"Visitor." I stood up and followed her to the first gate, waited for her to put cuffs on me before walking through to the second gate and finally the visitors' section.

I smiled and sat down in front of Sandy.

"Some good news." He smiled back, "Kirsten's company has dropped all arson charges, which means, pending your probation hearing, you'll be out, no problem."

"That's brilliant," I beamed back at him, made slightly harder by the fact that not all my bruising on my face had cleared up.

"They checked you out?" He asked, noting the pain that had yet to leave me. I just nodded. "Who did this to you?"

"No one." I said with a shake of my head, knowing full well that he knew who had done it. "So," I went back to smiling, "when do you reckon I'll be out?"

"30 to 60 days. I could have you out sooner, if I could release you into the care of a parent or a guardian."

"30 to 60 days?" my smile vanished. "That could be two more months, 8 weeks…" I stopped and thought for a minute, "1,440 hours." I rested my head on the table, "Bet he served like 24 at the most."

"You want to repeat that to me, rather than the table?" Sandy asked, lifting my head.

"I said, 'Bet he served like 24 at the most.'"

Sandy looked uncomfortable, "Well, according to both of you, the fire was an accident, and he's got no priors. His record's clean." He stopped as he looked at my healing face, "If you want we could prosecute him."

I just shook my head, "What would that achieve?"

"Justice." He said looking directly in my eyes.

I looked down at my cuffs and around the room at the guards in each corner. "This isn't justice." I told him quietly.

"Alex, you know, if I could take you home..." he trailed off, "It's going to be okay."

"My mom ditched me," I placed my hands on the table, "I got the shit beaten out of me by a bunch of Neo-Nazis and then I burned your wife's house down. How is this going to be okay?"

"We'll find your mother."

"I'd rather you threw me back to the Nazis."

"Alex she's your mothe-"

"She just abandoned me and now we have to track her down cause I need her. I needed her before. Didn't stop her from leaving."

"If only you'd come to me..." he sighed out the words that I'd expected to have been the first ones out of his mouth, "instead of running away..."

"I know, and…" I looked around the cold room, "I thought foster care would involve me being pushed from pillar to post surrounded by kids equally as screwed up."

"So instead you chose to go to jail and be surrounded by screwed up girls?"

"I didn't choose this." I told him, before pushing back my chair and walking away.

"We'll talk again before your hearing." Sandy called out after me as I simply walked back through the gate and back to my cell.

* * *

A couple of days later the guard dropped a book in front of me again. I looked up at her and she simply nodded towards the exit of the library. I stopped at the first gate and allowed her to cuff me before walking through to the second and then into the visitors' area. I looked around for Sandy and consequently got a shook when I saw Seth, Kirsten and Marissa all sat at a table waiting for me.

"Hey," Marissa smiled at me throwing her arms around me.

"Hey," I smiled back, once she'd let go, "I'd hug you back, but…" I held out my linked hands in front of me.

"Hello Alex," Kirsten nodded at me, rising from her chair. "Kids I'm going to wait by the window 'til you're done." She told Seth and Marissa before walking away allowing me to sit in her seat.

"You're face is clearing up." Seth beamed at me from across the table.

"Yeah," I smiled back, "its amazing what can happen when you're not getting beat."

"I'm sorry the plan didn't work. I thought I had it figured out. Thought you were safe." Seth sighed.

"The plan was great in principal." I shrugged back at him. "You didn't know the Klan were going to pay me a visit."

"Sorry bout that." Marissa said looking at the table. "But I broke up with him, if that's any consolation."

"Ris, you didn't have to do that."

"No I did," she told me placing a hand on mine.

"Wooooooooooooooh Attwood," one of the girls called over, "she know you're a killer?"

"Shut it, Lopez." I told her, warningly.

"Killer?" Seth questioned once I'd turned back to him and Marissa.

"Yeah," I sighed; rubbing my eyes rather awkwardly given I was cuffed. "The girls gave me a rep whilst I was in the medical wing, decided I got my injuries from killing someone."

"Girl I like your swerve." Lopez whistled at Marissa.

"Lopez!" I growled at her.

"What? Come on Attwood you can't keep a fine looking lady like that all to yourself."

"Is everyone here a lesbian?" Marissa laughed uncomfortably.

"Sorry, about her." I nodded in Lopez's direction. "We're not all like that."

"I know," she smiled at me.

"Shouldn't bother you anyway," Seth laughed at her, "now you're a dyke too."

"Huh?" I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Yeah," she sighed, "I am a lesbian."

"Huh?" I repeated, still not following.

"Luke told everyone I broke up with him because I want to be gay with you."

"Oh." I said slowly.

"Now the only people talking to me are Seth and Summer."

"I'm sorry I've caused so much trouble for you." I looked down. "Maybe it's a good thing I'm back in ja-"

"Hey Attwood," Lopez interrupted, "why don't you throw you're bitch over here, I wanna get a propper look at her." She licked her lips suggestively.

"Why don't you just back the fuck off?" I'd pushed my chair back and walked over to her.

"Hey," Lopez stood up and held up her tied hands, "you can have her back in like five minutes."

I nodded at her and pointed one of my hands, "That's not actually a bad idea, but how about this one?" I asked shoving her, causing her to trip over her chair.

"You're going to pay for that bitch." She said as she rose from the ground.

"What you going to do?" I asked looking around. "None of you're cronies are here."

"Oh you wait till we get out in the yard," She said shoving me back and knocking me into Marissa, "and I've got these fucking cuffs off."

"Why wait 'til then?" I asked her, punching her the best I could with my hands locked together. She put her hands to her lip and when she brought them away again I could see blood on the tips of her fingers. I simply smirked at her, "And people wonder how I managed to kill that whore."

"Oh," she shook her head at me, "you're dead now." She charged at me, knocking me over so that I was bent backwards over one of the tables, she held my shoulders so that she could bang my head against the table before she was pulled off me by the guards that had appeared, seemingly from nowhere, kicking and screaming. "I'm going to kill you bitch!" she shouted before her arse was hauled off into solitary.

I couldn't gloat for long, however as, as soon as another guard became available I was shoved down the hallway to solitary behind her.

* * *

Solitary wasn't as quiet as I'd imagined. I sat on the cot and was forced to listen to Lopez screaming death threats at me. I leant against the cold wall staring at the metal toilet, wondering how I was ever going to be able to keep my head down when I got back into Gen. Pop.

When the guard opened the door, allowing light into the tiny strip of a room, I was surprised. The guards that had shoved me in the room had taunted me by saying I wouldn't see daylight for a week, however, the door was opened to me after only something like an hour.

"Out." The guard grunted at me. "Seem's you've made bail." He told me as I walked towards him, holding my hands out to be re-cuffed.

"How?"

He merely shrugged as he motioned for me to follow him. He lead me through more locked gates than I'd ever previously seen until I found myself in the civilian area staring at Kirsten, Marissa and Seth, who was holding a box marked with my name.

"I couldn't let you stay in there," Kirsten explained as a guard took off my cuffs.

"Thank you," I smiled at her, rubbing my wrists.

"Are cuffs really that painful?" Seth asked, passing me my personal belongings.

"No," I smiled, "just wanted to get a little more pity."

"Why don't you get changed into your own clothes and we can go get something to eat before heading back to Newport." Kirsten suggested pointing to female toilets down the hall.

I nodded and left the three in the entrance, walked into the Ladies' and into the nearest cubical. I dropped the lid of the toilet and placed my box on top of it. As soon as I took off the lid my nostrils were hit with the smell of smoke. I pulled out my T-shirt and inspected it; it was grey where it had previously been white. Having no choice in the matter I pulled off the jump suit and pulled the T over my head, before pulling my jeans out of the box.

I walked out a few minutes later, after re-doing my hair and thinking about what to do with my streak, and dropped the box on the front desk, with my jump suit inside it.

"That all you got?" Kirsten asked me, looking up and down my figure dressed in just the grey T, the smoke stained jeans, dying Converse and one of Trey's old hoody's that I grew so attached to that I stole.

"Lost everything else in the fire." I told her.

"Hmmm," she looked at her watch, before turning to Marissa, "Your parents expecting you back or do you have time to come shopping with us too?"

* * *

After I'd showered and put on some clothes that didn't smell like smoke I joined Seth in front of the TV.

"Where's Marissa?" I asked picking up the other controller.

"Her mom called her home," Seth shrugged, "apparently Summer wasn't very good at keeping Marissa's cover, especially when her mom went round to Summer's to pick Marissa up and found out she wasn't actually there."

"Why did she come to visit me anyway?"

"I don't know. I went over there, told her that me and Mom were getting ready to head out and she just grabbed her purse, told her mom she was going to Summer's and dragged me to the car to wait for Mom."

"When she and Luke break up?"

"As soon as he got out of jail." Seth said simply. "What's with all the questions? You still crushing on her?"

"I'm not crushing on her." I told him, looking away from the TV and at him to emphasise my point.

"Whatever." He smirked at me before going back to concentrating on the game.

"Will you stop killing my men?" I asked him.

"Will you stop suck-"

"Seth! What did we say?" Sandy called in from the hallway, "No video games." He stopped when he saw me sat next to him on the floor. "Oh."

"Yeah," I smiled up at him, "Guess you're not the only one who likes bringing girls home from jail!"

"No… I guess not… Kirsten?" he called walking off.

"The confusion on his face was priceless!" Seth smiled at me, "I like you being here."

"I like being here." I smiled back at him, before jumping up and heading out to the kitchen.

"They were going to kill her in that place, Sandy. She couldn't stay there. But she can't stay here." I stopped walking and just listened, they couldn't see me because they were too far into the kitchen. "We've got to find her mother."

"She doesn't want to find her." Sandy told her.

"She's a kid. She doesn't know what she wants."

"I know I don't want her." I told her stepping out from behind the pillar and opening the fridge door. "Do you mind if I have a soda?" I asked picking up a can of Diet Coke.

"No." Kirsten said quietly.

"I'm sorry about what I did before, about being so ungrateful, but please," I looked at Kirsten rather than Sandy, "I'd rather you sent me into foster care than to her."

"Alex, you can't mean that?" She tilted her head, in that sympathetic way.

"And you can't have met my mother." I told her, sipping from the can.

She pulled a glass out of the cupboard and handed it to me, "Alex-"

"You have no idea what its like to do nothing but try and have nothing be good enough for the person that's meant to love you most." I sighed, pouring the coke into the glass before walking back to Seth.

"You all right?" he asked raising his eyebrow at me when I flung myself on the floor next to him again. I just looked at him. "Okay," he resumed the game; "I'm being quiet."

* * *

"Feeling better?" he asked me the next morning when I went in for breakfast. I just shrugged and sat next to him at the counter. "Well we have a wide assortment of breakfast cereals for you to brood over." I glared at him. "Sorry, I forgot you don't brood." He said with a roll of his eyes.

"This about Marissa?" he asked after a while of silence.

"No." I said simply continuing to eat.

"Cause I mean, Marissa's a very attractive girl-" he stopped suddenly when glared at him again. "Dude, for someone that's recently got out of jail you're far from chipper. What's up?"

"Your parents want to find my mom and send me back to her."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Think of me as an asylum seeker and my mom as Iraq."

"That bad?"

"Well it wasn't." he looked at me confused, "But, like, say you've had nothing but stale milk to drink all your life and then someone gives you some of their chocolate milk to try?" He continued looking at me confused. "Well when you're expected to drink the stale milk again, after having tried the chocolate milk, you realise that the milk you'd been drinking all your life wasn't what milk should taste like and that you deserved more than just stale milk to drink."

"Dude, why didn't you just say that life at your mom's sucked and you want more?"

"Cause I'd been thinking about the chocolate milk analogy all night to tell your parents and I wanted to try it out."

"What you want to try?" Sandy asked me as he walked into the kitchen and to the coffee pot.

"Chocolate milk." Seth told him.

"You've never had chocolate milk?" Sandy asked me.

"Yeah of course I have." I frowned at him.

"Then why you want to try it?"

"I don't." I told him, still frowning.

"I'm so lost." Seth said looking between us.

"Why are you lost?" Kirsten asked, going up to Sandy and kissing him before taking the coffee from him and pouring some into a cup.

"We're talking about chocolate milk." Sandy told her, sipping from his flask.

"What's confusing about chocolate milk?" She asked Seth, who simply shrugged and went back to his cereal.

"Anyway," Sandy said slowly looking at his son curiously, "I have to go," he kissed Kirsten on the cheek, "I have an early court date."

"I have to set up for Casino Night." Kirsten told him before looking between him and me.

"If I promise not to get offended if you take the matches with you and then promise not to find anything else to burn the house down with… can't I just stay here?" I asked looking between them both.

* * *

"Oh, hi, Julie." Kirsten smiled at a stern woman with red hair who was right by the door of the country club.

"Kirsten." She nodded, "Seth."

"Julie, this is Alex." Kirsten told her, drawing the woman's attention to me for the first time.

She looked me up and down before holding out her hand, "I'm Julie Cooper. I've heard so much about you."

"Oh so you're Marissa's mom?" I smiled at her, shaking her hand. "Its nice to meet you."

She made some sort of disgruntled noise, not dissimilar to the sound I would imagine a constipated chicken makes, before something over my shoulder caught her attention.

"There he is." She smiled, walking over to the door me, Seth and Kirsten had all just walked through.

"Hey, Mrs. Cooper." Luke smiled at her.

"I'm so sorry to hear about you and Marissa," she shot me a dirty look before continuing, "I'm sure she'll come to her senses and go back to you in no time." He just forced an awkward smile before turning to Kirsten.

"Thanks for coming." She told him.

"Yeah, you know," he scratched the back of his neck nervously, "anything I can do to help make amends for what happened." She just nodded at him before taking me aside.

"I forgot that he was coming." She told me quietly in my ear, "If you want to..."

"No, I'm here. How can I help?" I asked Mrs Cooper.

"Well, now that we've got our happy helpers, shall we get started?" She smiled clapping her hands together.

"Uh," Kirsten looked between me and Luke, "why don't Alex and Seth move furniture and Luke why don't you go way over there." She pointed to a can of gas and a small pile of balloons.

* * *

I found that moving furniture with Seth meant that I did most of the lifting, the moving and general. He explained that his role was as supervisor as I tried to move a small chaise longue by myself. I dropped it and just glared at him.

"You want me to help?" Seth asked.

"Yes please."

He cupped his hands around his mouth and called: "Hey Marissa!" she looked up at him from across the room and walked over.

"Hey," she smiled at me, "I didn't know you'd be helping out too."

"Yeah, well," I sighed, "Kirsten didn't want me alone in the house."

"Ouch."

"Yeah." I half heartily smiled back, "That didn't do anything for my self esteem."

"Guess not." She looked the chaise longue up and down. "Want a hand?"

"Yes please." I smiled at her, as she picked up one of the ends.

"Well clearly you two don't need me here." Seth smiled, "I'm going to see if Mom want's me to do anything."

"She wanted you to help me move the furniture."

"Yeah but Marissa seems so keen." He smiled at Marissa holding one end up.

"If you two are quite done bickering," she nodded down at the chaise longue she was holding up, "heavy thing not getting any lighter here."

"Oh," I said sheepishly, quickly picking up the other end, "sorry."

"You alright with Luke being here?" She asked as we walked across the room to where Kirsten had told me to put the seat.

"I don't have much choice." I shrugged. "Anyway Kirsten's making sure that we don't talk or anything."

"The Cohen's know that he was the one that beat you up."

"I haven't told them but I think they've pretty much guessed." I put down my end and motioned for Marissa to do the same, before I sat down. "You didn't have to break up with him." I told her once she'd sat down beside me.

"I did."

"I mean I'm not going to be around forever, I'm either going back to my mom or going into care… Seems stupid of you to throw away your relationship because of me."

"Alex," I looked up at her, "do you really think I'm _that_ person?"

"Uh, what person?"

"The kind of person that can know full well that her boyfriend's a bigoted thug and still want to be with him? I mean he could have put you in hospital, I don't want to be with anyone that does that to another human being."

"Yeah but," I sighed, "you've lost you're friends."

"If they don't like me because they think I'm gay, then they were never my friends."

"Just as well you're not actually gay." I smiled at her, "then you're life could be really tricky."

"Yeah," she sighed, looking away for the first time.

"What am I supposed to do with 120,000 pounds of concrete?" Kirsten asked her cell phone as she walked past us. "Get a new mixer? Just call me when you know." She sighed as she hung up.

"You all right?" I asked her.

"Yeah, its just work."

"What do you do exactly? Real estate or construction?"

"I tried to explain it to Seth once and he fell asleep half way through."

"Try me."

"I'm going to see if mom wants me to do anything, before I go and see Summer." Marissa said standing up.

"Okay," I smiled at her.

"See you soon?" she asked.

"Hope so."

"Cool," she smiled. "Bye Mrs Cohen."

"Bye Marissa." Kirsten smiled, sitting down on the chaise longue where Marissa had been sat. "So you too are getting on well." She smiled at me.

"Oh no," I smiled at her.

"What?"

"You're doing that thing that Seth does," she continued to look at me blankly, "assuming that me and Marissa are into each other."

"Why would you b-," she looked at me, her eyes wide, "Oh."

"You didn't know?"

"No," she frowned, clearly thinking. "That's not why you got beaten up is it?" I nodded at her. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault." I told her. "Anyway, you were going to tell me about your job."

"My dad is in real estate development. He owns the Newport Group."

"Wow," I smiled, "you guys built the mall, the Pacific Auditorium, baseball stadium, stuff like that."

"Mm-hmm." She nodded, "And I'm in charge of residential development."

"So, you deal with the contractors, the architects, planning and zoning commission."

"How did you know?"

"Keith, one of my mom's ex boyfriends, was a builder. He got me into architecture, to such an extent that I even considered being one for a couple of years."

"What do you want to be now?"

"Seventeen."

"Me too." She laughed, "Come on, let's grab Seth and head home."

* * *

"There are some great historical homes in the area and we can always go on an architectural tour." Kirsten told me as she open the front door and walked in.

"Yeah, those things are awesome." Seth deadpanned, walking in after me and Kirsten.

"Yeah, I'd like that." I smiled at Kirsten, ignoring Seth's sarcasm. I stopped walking when I spotted a woman talking to Sandy in the living room.

"Hey, Al." My mom smiled nervously at me.

* * *

"Thank you, Rosa." Kirsten smiled at her maid as we all sat round the Cohens' dinning room table.

"Um... thanks." Mom smiled awkwardly at the woman, only having served people before.

"No thank you, Rosa." Sandy told her as she walked round the table to him, "So, Dawn, how long you been working at the Laundromat?" he asked, trying to break up the awkward silence that engulfed the table.

"Uh, not long. Just a couple of weeks." She told him, starting to eat.

"What happened to the restaurant?" I asked.

"Um...they were making cutbacks."

"You got fired." I corrected. "You turn up drunk again?"

"Alex!" Kirsten scolded me from across the table.

"Well, it was for the best." Mom explained to Kirsten, ignoring the 'drunk' comment. "They had rats, cockroaches. Disgusting."

"You seen Trey?" I asked her.

"Uh, went to visit him at the prison. He wouldn't see me."

"Unbelieva-"

"Where are you living these days?" Kirsten cut in before I could say any more to her.

"With friends." Mom nodded at her uncomfortably. "I'm between places right now."

"Why don't you stay here tonight?" Kirsten offered.

"What about A.J.?"

"No. I broke up with him. We're through. No more." She said looking at me and then turning between Sandy and Kirsten, "I put up with too much. He laid his hands on me and Alex too many times."

"Oh for fuck's sake." I pushed out my chair and walked out into the garden towards the pool house.

"Hey!" Sandy yelled after me. "That might be how you talk to your mother in your house, but you won't disrespect her like that in mine."

"I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE HER." I shouted back at him. "Just put me in foster care." I said, my voice lower this time. "Please."

"I can't now."

"What? I know I ruined my chances of that group home but there must be somewhere."

"It doesn't work like that kid," he sighed at me, "now we've found your mother there's no reason for the state to look after you."

"What?" I sat down on one of the patio chairs.

"She must be better than jail." He said quietly sitting down beside me. "Why don't you just finish you're dinner try and work things through." He led me back through the house and into a chair in front of my untouched dinner.

"So," Kirsten smiled at me uncomfortably, "we were just talking about your childhood."

"Yeah?" I said not looking at either her or my mom, just pushing food round my plate.

"I was saying about how you always loved the beach when you were kid." I nodded, still watching my fork play with my food. "You couldn't wait to get in the sea. You been down to the beach much whilst you've been staying here?" she asked me.

"No, went back to jail though."

"Oh," I looked up and Mom just looked away.

"So this time when you disown me you can't blame it on Trey." I told her.

"Look kid I'm trying here."

"You shouldn't have to try, Mom," I spat back at her. "You're my mom you should just love me."

"Uh, Sandy, Seth," Kirsten stood up quickly, "why don't you help me out in the kitchen?"

"Where's Rosa?" Seth asked.

"Now Seth!" She told him before walking out to the kitchen with Sandy and Seth behind her, leaving me and Mom in silence.

"I do love you." She said after a while.

"No you don't." I was looking her straight in the eyes, "you haven't loved me since you caught me in bed with Theresa. Or don't you remember all that drunken hitting, cause I sure do." I told her.

"It was a shock Alex."

"It's been two years. Two years of you having a chance to get over your shock, two years of you letting your deadbeat boyfriends and their rednecks' beat me, two years of you just waiting for an excuse to kick me out."

"Shit Alex." She sighed at me.

"Oh don't act like you're hurt by that." I spat at her, "You and I both know you're only here cause you found out they've got money."

"That how little you think of me?" she asked.

"How much more is there to think of you?"

We sat in silence. She looked out the window, round the room, at the family pictures on the wall; anywhere but at me.

"This was a mistake." She said eventually, getting up from her chair. "I'm going to go." She told me quietly, walking out to the kitchen to talk to the Cohen's, leaving me sat in front of my untouched dinner, staring at it from behind glistening eyes.

I shook my head, rubbed my eyes and went into the Cohens' formal living room to find Mom's purse. I went through it until I found her cigarettes, half a pack of Cherokee Red a cheap disposable lighter squashed next to the remaining sticks. I picked up the pack and walked out the front door, letting it slam behind me and walked out of the gated community.

* * *

"So your mom's gone home," Kirsten told me, sitting beside me on the beach on the rapidly darkening beach.

I just sat there staring out at gentle evening waves. I lit up the last cigarette and tossed the empty pack away.

"She signed a form, turning you over to the state, as you wanted." She said quietly.

I turned my head to her, allowed her to see how much I'd been crying.

"You think I wanted this?" I asked her. "I'm sat on a beach smoking my mom's cigarettes cause I have no money to buy my own, and even if I did, no shop round here would serve me." I inhaled and quickly exhaled from the thin white stick, "I've lost everything and top it all off my own mother has given up on me." A fresh wave of tears ran down my face.

"I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be you and Sandy have done more for me than..."

"No, I'm sorry for finding her." She said quietly. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I'm sorry that it took me trying not to listen to you and your mom's fighting to realise that maybe being with your mom isn't the best place for you."

"She'd be fine if I could just get over this damned homosexuality." I sighed, inhaling from my cigarette.

"You know lesser people would have crumbled, hidden who they are and just pretended…"

"All men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." I told her quietly, stubbing out the cigarette in the sand next to me.

"You believe in G-d?"

"I believe in love." I said, staring out at the ocean.

She pulled out her cell phone. I turned and watched her.

"I'm just texting Sandy, letting him know I've found you." She explained, putting it away moments later and just joined me in watching the ocean.

It wasn't until I started shivering that she suggested that maybe we should go back. I nodded quietly and followed her to her car.

She started the car and filled it with music from the radio, I stared out of the window and let everything wash over me. I tried not to think about where I was going to be sent, what was going to happen, tried not to think about my future, if I even had a future. I tried not to think.

"We're here." She said quietly, shutting off the engine and taking me out of my thoughts.

I followed her out of the car and into the house, to Sandy and Seth in the kitchen.

"Alex's going to stay with us now." She told them, placing an arm across my back. I turned and looked at her. "If you want to…"

I started crying again, but for the first time I had a smile on my face as the tears ran down it. Kirsten wrapped her arms around me and I just cried onto her shoulder.

I finally had a home.

* * *

R&R, thank you. Circus.


	4. The Debut

**The Debut**

I woke up when something hit me on the back. I pushed my body up and looked round. I saw Seth smiling at me from my door, I investigated my bed and found a cushion lying next to me. I looked back at Seth and glared.

"Come on, get up, you sleep like way too much." He told me walking in pulling up my blinds so that I was attacked by morning sunlight hitting my face.

"What time is it?" I asked him, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"Uh, 7:42 last time I looked."

"Fuck Seth." I took my hands back from under me and landed on my pillow. "Do you know how much I hate you?"

"Get dressed and I will kick your butt at some sort of video game that is yet to be decided." He told me walking out of my room.

I shut my eyes and rolled over trying to get comfortable but found it hard to concentrate on sleep with the light glaring in my room. "Fuck Seth!" I sighed, throwing the covers off and getting up and walking out of the pool house to the fridge.

I pulled open the door and grabbed the open carton of milk, I drained it and chucked it into the trash before walking through to Seth sat in front of the TV, yelling instructions at computer animated men.

"I hate you." I told him. He just looked up at me and smiled. I looked down at what I was wearing and realised that walking into the house in just a vest top and my knickers was possibly a bad idea. "And I'm dressing."

I went back into the pool house and pulled some clothes out of the wicker basket things, dressed quickly and promptly sat down next to Seth in the living room, snatching up a controller.

"What are we playing?"

"Pro Ninja Fighter VII."

"What happened to Pro Ninja Fighter VI?"

"New one came out whilst you were in lock up."

"Jail makes you miss all the good things in life." I deadpanned as I ran a sword through one of Seth's men.

* * *

"Hey guys!" Sandy smiled at us as he and Kirsten walked into the room.

"Hey." Seth and I nodded neither of us looking away from the TV.

"Seth, we need to talk to Alex." Kirsten told him, making Seth turn away from the TV.

"Okay." He said pausing the game, before he rose off the floor, "If this has to do with the rug though, I just want to tell you that it had nothing to do with her."

Kirsten looked down, "What about the rug?"

"I'm gonna go now." He said as Kirsten continued to inspect the rug.

Sandy sat down in one of the chairs, whilst Kirsten remained standing. I put down my controller and stood up too.

"You guys look pretty serious." I frowned at them.

"So, Kirsten and I went to Child Services this morning."

"Child Services is open at, like, eight in the morning?" I asked.

"Alex it's now 11:43," Kirsten told me after a glance at her watch, "how long have you and Seth been playing on the Playstation?"

"Its 11:43? Wow, Seth is a bad influence on me." I laughed.

"Anyway," Sandy said, drawing back the conversation to where he wanted it. "We told Child Services that, uh, that we want you to stay with us."

"You serious?" I smiled at them.

"But there's a catch. Because you're a minor, the only way they'll allow that to happen is if we assume all legal responsibility for you." Sandy continued.

"You want to do that for me?" I asked.

"Well we're asking you." Sandy smiled.

"We've all talked about it." Kirsten explained, "And we want to be your legal guardians. We want you to be part of the family. If you want to be..."

"Fuck yeah!"

"Language." Sandy laughed.

"You just have to promise us you'll stay out of trouble." Kirsten said.

"You're still on probation. And child services will be up our ass all the time."

"No more trouble. I promise." I smiled at them both, which they returned. Kirsten pulled me into a hug.

"Welcome to the family." Kirsten said into my ear.

"Thank you so much." I told them both once Kirsten had let go.

"Okay, Seth. You can come out now." Kirsten laughed.

Seth popped his head around the corner with a huge grin on his face.

"You knew about this and didn't say anything?" I pointed at him.

"I didn't want to jinx it."

"This why you woke me so early?"

"Part," he shrugged, "but you do sleep way too much."

"I'm a teenager, I'm meant to." I explained slowly to him.

"Come you two," Kirsten sighed, walking out into the garden, "I want to make sure you've got everything." Kirsten said once Seth and I had joined her outside the pool house, she motioned for me to open the door.

"You already bought me like two wardrobes worth of clothes, what else do I need?" I asked her walking into the room.

"You're going to need bedding. And towels. Oh, how's the bed, Alex? Is it comfortable?" Kirsten asked me, just to have Seth answer her by jumping on the bed.

"Yeah, it's - Huh. It's fine. It's great." He told her, sprawled across it.

"We really want you to have your privacy," Kirsten continued, walking around the room, "but this is a pool house - it needs a little warmth. You're going to need chairs, and a desk and a... bookshelf."

"I don't have any books." I told her.

"Right, you don't have any stuff. Which means we have to go shopping-"

"Seriously you already bought me more than enough clothes."

"Yeah but you need kid stuff." She told me, "CD's, a player, books…" she waved her hand.

"A kitten?"

"You want a kitten?" she bit her lip to stop from laughing, "you don't seem the type."

"I'm not really, but I want to get one so I can call him Chairman Meow."

She frowned at me. "Were you being funny?"

"She does that occasionally." Seth explained from the bed.

"So anyway," she shook her head, "you're going to need a white dress at the very least."

"A white dress? A dress? For what?"

"For Cotillion."

"Oh…" I nodded at her, "yeah I have no idea what that is."

* * *

"It's the annual debutante ball. It's Newport's biggest event." Kirsten explained as we walked towards the country club.

"Until whatever's next week." Seth told me.

"Will next week's thing require dress wearing too?" I whispered in his ear.

"Probably. They like excuses to get dressed up."

"It's the day," Kirsten raised her voice so that we would stop talking so she could finish her explanation, "when Newport's most accomplished young women make their formal debut into society."

"Or another excuse for them to get wasted and throw up on themselves."

"Hey. I was a deb. I made my debut at this very country club not so many years ago." She told Seth, which cut into his sniggering.

"The year was-"

"Hey!" She cut Seth off as we walked into the building.

I looked round and was instantly struck by an amazing sense of awe. Everything about this building seemed to be made of marble, for no other reason but to show off its grandeur. The people inside seemed celebrate the building's magnificence by running around carrying things, as if trying to mirror the building's importance.

I shut my mouth and turned back to Kirsten.

"You know what. Maybe I should skip it. As I said I'm not really all that into dresses."

"You have to go." She said, wrapping an arm around me. "It's a family tradition and you're part of the family."

I turned to Seth who simply shrugged and dug his hands in his pockets.

"Hello!" this short haired, angry woman seemed to appear from no where, but unlike the others she was only carrying a clipboard.

"Hi, Peggy. How are you?" she asked after the air kissing.

"I'm good." The woman nodded.

"And how's it going?"

"It'll be fine. Oh, the fitting area's back there." She pointed to the vague distance.

"Thank you. Come on, kids. It'll be fun." Kirsten led us in the direction that Peggy gestured, whilst Seth made faces and the butterflies in my stomach started going mad. "Okay, Alex there are dresses through there," she pointed through another set of double doors, "Seth and I are going to find him a tux."

"Cause we all know how that's a two person job." Seth sighed, walking through a different set of doors.

* * *

I walked into the room Kirsten had pointed out and found that I was instantly lost. A man with a tape measure round his neck walked up to me.

"Cotillion?" He asked gruffly, I just nodded. "Follow me." I followed him further into the room, in between rails of near identical white dresses before he started pointing wildly. "Okay, pick whatever you want. We've got Gucci, Armani. Versace's over there." He told me before walking back towards the door.

I looked around at all the dresses, trying to remember which rail belonged to which designer. I also tried to spot the difference between the dresses because, to me, they all looked pretty similar. All white and all stupidly small, none of them looking as though they sized above zero.

"Hi." I turned at the sound of her voice and saw her handing a piece of paper over to a woman. "Um. I'm picking up for Marissa Cooper?"

"Hey." I waved at her.

"Hey." Marissa turned to face me, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm apparently a deb."

"Cool." She smiled, "Me too."

"Who knew there were so many different white dresses?" I sighed looking over at the rail.

She laughed, "First cotillion huh?"

"They're not so big in Chino… but, uh, my neighbour was a bride of Christ this one time… but she was five and catholic…" Marissa laughed. "Yeah I'm way out of my element." I scratched the back of my neck.

"You want a hand picking out your dress?" She smiled at me.

"Hey, Coop!" We turned as Summer came up to us removing gloves as she babbled, "Oh, these gloves are giving me serious sausage arms."

"Hey Sum, you're right on time." Marissa smiled. "We need to help pick out a dress for Alex."

"You're a deb?"

"Yeah, though no-ones really explained what that entails, apart from a white dress, which seems very scary."

"How gay are you?" Summer laughed.

"Gayer than you, apparently." She shot me an evil look. "What? I am."

"You trying to dykify every girl in this town?" We turned and saw Luke, in half a suit, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

"Luke, why don't you shut the fuck up?" Summer pointed at him, the remaining gloved hand placed firmly on her hip. "One, Coop is not gay. Two, you cannot turn someone gay and three, stop being such a jack arse because she dumped you. Get over it." He turned and walked back the way he'd come from, nearly knocking Kirsten off her feet, as he did.

"Whoa!" She laughed. "What's his problem?"

"Being a jack arse with a giant stick up his-"

"Okay, Summer, cool it." Marissa laughed.

"Marissa," Kirsten smiled at her, almost thanking her for interrupting Summer, "I was going to call you. Since you're lead deb. I…" she turned to call her son over, "Seth! - I wanted to introduce you to one white knight and one last minute deb." She pointed towards me.

Summer eyed Seth up and down sceptically, whilst Seth slid over rubbing his hands together, "Seth Cohen, white knight."

"So, uh, you'll be at the rehearsal." Summer looked less than thrilled.

"Yes. Absolutely."

"See you then." She dragged Marissa away and I'm sure I heard her say 'Seth Cohen? Ew!' but I'm not sure and I couldn't exactly ask Seth.

"Bye." Marissa said as she sent me one last fleeting glance before Summer had steered her a good few feet away from us.

"Cotillion rocks!" Seth laughed, clapping his hands together.

"Its not so bad." I conceded.

* * *

"Hey, white gloves are ready for a comeback." Seth announced after an entire car ride of the pros and cons of a classic tux.

"I don't know, to me, they'll always scream 'Bugs Bunny'" Kirsten turned to look at me, "I don't know what it is about them, they just have a 'What's up Doc?' quality about them." I told her shrugging as we entered the house carrying the stuff that we'd collected from the club.

We walked into the kitchen and found Sandy pouring two glasses of red wine.

"Hey," Kirsten smiled, walking over and kissing him on the cheek, "what are you doing home?"

"Guys," Sandy turned to us, "do you mind?"

"Oh, uh, if this is about the vase-"

"Which vase?" Sandy asked Seth.

"Hmm." Seth quickly shook his head, "Nothing. Uh, hey Mom, why don't me and Alex get some 'Kid stuff' for her room?"

"That sounds like a great plan." Kirsten nodded, reaching into the inner pocket of Sandy's jacket pulling out his wallet. "Why don't you take-" she flicked through his credit cards until she found a bluish one, "this one." She handed it to Seth.

"Cool." He nodded, slipping it into his pant's back pocket, hitting me on the arm indicating for me to follow him out of the house.

"Just don't max it out." Sandy called out from the kitchen as Seth was pulling open the front door.

"So this is what it's like being rich, huh?" I laughed, pulling out the credit card from Seth's pocket and turning it over in my hands. "Nice." I smiled. "So… why don't we get Marissa to come shopping with us?" I asked him, as we neared the end of the drive.

"Dude, I wish you'd get over your crush on her, she's straight." Seth sighed.

"I'll get over my crush when you get over yours." I told him, walking down Marissa's drive and knocking on her door.

"Hello?" a young girl looked up at me, once she'll pulled open the door.

"Hey, is, uh, Marissa in?"

"MARISSA?!" the kid yelled, not taking her eyes off me. "Who are you anyway?"

"She's Alex." I looked past the kid and saw Marissa walking down the stairs. "How can I help you?"

"Well, uh, Kirsten has put Seth in charge of one of Sandy's credit cards, aparently I need some 'Kid stuff'. You wanna crash the mall?"

"Did you just quote Avril Lavigne at me?"

"And I'll keep doing it 'til you change your ring tone." I smiled at her.

"For your information, I have." She told me as she picked up her purse from their hall table. "Caitlin, tell Mom I'll be back later."

"Whatever." She said walking into the their main room.

"So what's on the list, and more importantly," she smiled at me, walking out of her house pulling the door shut behind her, "what's the budget?"

* * *

I lifted up my leg and pulled the handle to my room down with my foot, causing the door to swing open. I walked in, dumped the bags on the floor and threw myself on the bed, just to be bounced slightly when Marissa landed next to me.

"Come on," she poked me in the ribs, "lets set up your cell phone."

"I can't believe you convinced me to get a cell phone." I sighed, getting up and pulling a box out a bag and throwing it at Marissa. "I have no friends, I don't need a cell."

"You have me and Seth and no doubt Summer soon." She said, ripping open the box and pulling out all the compartments and putting them together. "Okay, now point me to a socket." She said holding up the charger.

"I think there's one over there." I told her, pointing to one of the kitchen walls. "I'll be right back, I want to grab a drink. You want anything?" I asked her as I headed out into the main house.

"Nah, I'm cool." She told me as I walked out my room.

I went to the fridge and pulled out a Red Bull, I popped the can open and near instantly drained it. I threw the empty can at the trash before pulling out another from the fridge. I walked back into my room to find, Marissa playing with my phone.

"What you doing?" I asked as I sipped from the can.

"Putting my number in." She said simply, before putting the phone and facing me. "Now you can text me any time you want."

"I'll hold you to that." I laughed, draining the can and placing it on my night stand. I sat down on my bed and pulled over one of the Virgin Megastore bags towards me and started riffling through the CDs I'd bought.

"I cannot believe you'd rather buy CD's to clothes." Marissa laughed, sitting down beside me.

"Well Kirsten already bought me like a tonne of clothes and," I shrugged, "I've always been more into books and music."

"How come you didn't buy any books today?" She asked, starting to look through my CD's with me.

"Because they weren't any thrift stores in the mall."

"Thrift stores?" she frowned at me.

"You know, second hand stores where you buy other people's stuff and the money goes to charity." I said slowly.

"I'm familiar with the concept." She laughed, "I just don't understand why."

"Cause there's just something about reading other people's books."

"You're weird."

"Not really." I smiled at her, placing the CD's on the side, next to my empty Red Bull can. I pulled another bag towards me and lifted out the stereo from it. "We spent way too much money today." I sighed, looking at the box in my hands.

"Mrs Cohen gave you Mr Coh-" I raised my eyebrow at her, "Kirsten gave you Sandy's credit card," she shrugged, "they must have expected it."

"Yeah but this and a cell phone?"

"Well the phone plays music too so that, like, doubles as an iPod."

"Then I don't need the stereo then do I?"

"Yes but," she smiled at me and took the box from my hands, "the stereo is for when I'm round here, so I can listen to your weird British music with you." She told me pulling out a speaker.

"You planning on spending a lot of time round here?" I asked.

"I'm thinking about it." She smiled at me, standing up and walking over to the kitchen counter and placed the speaker down. "What do you think?"

"I think you spent a lot of money." Sandy smiled from the doorway.

I stood up quickly and pointed at Marissa, "She made me."

He simply laughed and walked over to me and put an arm round me, "I don't mind, kid." He smiled. "Kirsten and I have too much money anyway."

"Thank you." I said quietly.

"So," he clapped his hands together, "I came into tell you that dinner's ready, the guy said the delivery will be due in around thirty minutes. Marissa you staying?"

"No thank you, Mr Cohen, I told Mom I'd be home for dinner." She walked over to the door and scooped up her purse from in amongst my shopping bags. "See you tomorrow, Alex." She smiled at me before heading out the door.

* * *

"So, uh, what exactly happens at this rehearsal?" I asked Seth, the next day, as we walked through the country club.

"Just, uh, stupid Cotillion stuff. Bowing, Curtsying..."

We walked into a hall where people were dancing. I suddenly understood why Seth had worn a jacket and felt incredibly out of place. I grabbed Seth's arm and watched Peggy counting and dancing around a little while a hall full of young couples danced together stiffly.

"Dancing? You didn't tell me there was dancing."

"Well, if I told you there's dancing, I would be here by myself right now."

"Well that's cause I'm not a dancer." I told him quickly. "I mean do I look like I dance."

He looked me up and down, I was dressed in skinny jeans, Converse and a tight fitting T with headphones drawn round the neck.

"You look like one of those new age emos." He told me after some consideration.

"What's a new age emo?" I asked him.

"An emo just with a hint of color."

"I'm going." I told him, walking out of the hall.

"Alex?" I turned back round and found I was looking at Marissa, as well as Seth, stood in the doorway. "You leaving?"

"I don't dance." I told her.

She laughed as she walked towards me, she grabbed my hand and pulled me back into the hall and pointed.

"Do you really think any of these guys do?" She asked me as I watched the uncomfortable teenagers be instructed round the hall by the angry, shorthaired woman from the day before. "Besides, if you go who am I going to talk to?"

"Your friends still ignoring you over the whole you being gay thing?" Seth asked.

"Yup," she nodded, "its nice. Come on I'll introduce you to your dancing partners." She walked us across the room and she grabbed a clipboard from one of the tables. "I had to re-organise everything since me and Luke broke up." She sighed as her eyes ran up and down the list. "But thankfully, Holly volunteered to be his partner at the last minute. Okay Seth you are with Anna Stern."

"Who?" He asked taking the list from her hands, "Does Summer have a partner, because I don't mind-"

"Oh that's really nice." Seth turned away from the list and looked at the blonde who had just spoken.

"Anna Stern?" The blonde girl nodded.

"Anna, this is Seth Cohen," Marissa pointed at Seth, taking back her list, "Anna's just moved here from Pittsburgh."

"Can we just get this over with?" Anna asked, Marissa simply pointed to the dance floor, which Seth led her onto.

"Alex you've got one of the water polo players, but I made sure that he's not one of Luke's friends, so there shouldn't be a problem." Marissa told me as she walked me over to the only kid standing by himself. "Alex this is Zach. Zach, Alex." She pointed.

He held out his hand, which I ignored.

"Hey, it's not that bad." Marissa leaned and whispered to me, "Don't be rude." She warned as her warm breath tickled my ear. I begrudgingly took his hand and shook it.

"Hey," I nodded at him.

"Was that so hard?" Marissa smiled at me.

"No, that's going to be the dancing." I sighed.

"Well, I can help you. Okay. So you guys will be over here." She nudged me onto the dance floor and closer to Zach "If you wanna go ahead and get into waltz position." He and I stared blankly at each other and he just shrugged when Marissa looked at him. "Which means Alex, you put your left hand on Zach's shoulder."

I placed my palm on Zach's shoulder.

"Um. No. Not like that." She moved Zach aside and stood in front of me "Here. Watch." She moved my hands so that they were in the right place, "Okay? So, Zach, you'll put your right hand on Alex's back." She slid her hand down to my waist and looked into my eyes, "Like this." She told him, not taking her eyes off mine.

"I knew it." Marissa jumped at the sound of his voice and away from me. I simply glared at Luke. "You told me I was paranoid."

"You are man." Zach told him. "Quit giving the new girl a hard time, just cause you're a biggotted twat."

"Anyway," I shrugged going to stand next to Zach, "Marissa's straight. Just leave her alone, get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay."

"'Play in the hay'?" Luke questioned.

"Yeah its from Friend's, its called a pop-culture reference." I told him.

"Whatever." He waved me off and went to join Holly on the dance floor.

"Thanks you guys." Marissa told us.

"For what?" Zach asked her.

"Defending my heterosexuality."

"It's a weird situation when you have to defend a person's heterosexuality. I've been more used to defending my homosexuality recently." I smiled at her.

"Just goes to show everyone's equal." Zach laughed. "So, uh, what are we doing again?" he asked Marissa who went back to teaching us to dance.

* * *

I was sitting on my bed, reading a magazine with Hard-Fi playing on my stereo, when Seth entered the pool house, already in his tuxedo.

"What are you doing?" he asked, "Why aren't you dressed yet?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked him, looking up from my article, "it takes like two minutes to get ready."

"Well can you get ready now?"

"Okay." I said, trying to find my place in the magazine.

"As in now, now." Seth pushed.

"Oh my god, okay Ross." I laughed at him, putting my magazine down and walking out of my room.

"Why aren't you dressed?" Kirsten asked me, standing between me and the fridge.

"I will be in like two minutes." I said as I walked past her, "I just want to get a Diet Coke."

"It takes you two minutes to get ready?"

"Yeah," I said, sipping from the can, "how long does it take you to get ready?"

"You don't want to know." She sighed, handing me a glass.

"Thanks." I nodded at her, pouring my coke into the glass and throwing the empty can at the trash. "Though I can't believe I've got to dance again," I sighed at her, "the three hour rehearsal this afternoon nearly killed me."

"Yeah well they take Cotillion very seriously here." Kirsten smiled at me. "No go get ready, I want to take pictures before we leave." She told me, ushering me out of the house and to my room.

"If you think I'm going to let you watch me change, Seth, you are sadly mistaken." I told him as I unhooked the dress from the back of the bathroom door and laid it out on my bed.

"I'm gone." He said, walking out of my room and towards Kirsten in the house.

I took off my T and threw it onto the chair in the corner; I slid the dress over my head and pulled it down my body before I removed my jeans and my bra. I walked over to the full-length mirror and played about with my hair, eventually settling with putting it in a bun, with a strand of hair hanging down each side of my face. I looked back at my reflection and saw that the purple streak had nearly grown out completely.

I picked up the end of the dress and walked barefoot into the kitchen.

"You look beautiful." Kirsten smiled at me, handing me a white box. I opened it and looked at a pair of white shoes wrapped in amongst tissue paper inside it. "I wore those to my Cotillion." She told me. "Now put them on so I can take pictures."

"Of the shoes?" I frowned at her.

"You doing that funny thing again?"

"I do it occasionally." I told her, pulling out one of the table chairs and sitting down so I could put the heals on.

* * *

Seth and I walked into the changing rooms and watched as people rushed around us. There seemed to be more adults milling around, than there were teenagers in formal wear.

"Wow," Marissa stepped out from one of the changing rooms, "you look beautiful." She smiled at me.

"You, you, you don't look so bad your self." I told her.

"I'll take that as a good thing." She smiled.

"Your date, is one lucky guy."

"I'm, uh, going 'stag' much to my mother's disappointment."

"Stag?" Seth questioned.

"Yeah," she shrugged, "why do I need a man to present me to the world?"

"How very feminist of you." I laughed.

"Yes incredibly enlightened." Seth nodded.

"Okay, so I ran out of white knights," Marissa admitted, "but the feminist thing sounded better."

"Should have asked me," I told her, "I'd have been you're date."

"Thank you." She smiled at me, "That's very sweet."

"Okay," Seth said slowly looking between us, "I'm going to find Anna, I'm feeling very much like a spare part in this conversation." He said before walking away.

"So…" I said slowly.

"Why are you so nervous?" She asked me.

"Because, I, uh, because, I, uh-"

"And again with the stuttering." She smiled, I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly. "If I didn't know better I would say it was me that made you nervous."

"No," I told her quickly, "I, uh, I'm not sure I can dance in these heals." I pulled up the bottom of my dress so that she could see the shoes Kirsten had leant me.

"I thought you looked taller." She smiled, dragging me into a changing room with her. She rummaged though her bag of clothes, "here." She presented me with a pair of flats.

"I can't, Kirsten wore these shoes at her Cotillion, I think this is a foster-mother-foster-daughter-bonding-though-shoes thing."

"And I think you're wearing a floor length dress. She won't notice." Marissa smiled, "Wear these for the ceremony and as soon as all the dancing and bowing is over you can put the heals back on."

"Plan." I conceded, moving her bag and sitting on the stool to take the heals off and put Marissa's flats on.

"Come on," she smiled at me once I was standing again, "you have a debut to make."

I followed her out of the fitting room and queued up in front of her in the line of girls.

* * *

"Anna Stern. Daughter of Cameron and Patricia Stern." Peggy announced.

Anna walked up onto the stage, and greeted her dad. Seth went up to get her, bowing proudly as Kirsten applauded loudly. He walked Anna down onto the dance floor and she placed her bouquet on a table with the other flowers.

"Alexandra Attwood." I walked onto the stage, "Daughter of Sanford and Kirsten Cohen."

Sandy ran on to the stage quickly, a tuxedo jacket clearly thrown hastily over his blue shirt. "Hey kid," he smiled at me, "sorry I'm late." He said before indicating for me to walk over to Zach, we walked onto the dance floor and I placed my bouquet next to Anna's before Zach and I joined the circle facing the stage, Kirsten having finally stopped clapping.

"Marissa Cooper." Marissa smiled at me as she walked onto the stage. "Daughter of James and Julie Cooper."

I watched her as her dad kissed her on the cheek before sending her down onto the dance floor. She placed her bouquet on the table and stood next to me.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen. Please join me in congratulating this year's debutantes." The clapping died away as the waltz started to play.

"Now what are you going to do?" I asked turned to ask her, as Zach placed his hands on me.

"Watch." She smiled at me, as Zach led me around the dance floor.

"Could you want her more?" He laughed in my ear, as I just watched her standing on the edge watching me in return.

I just shrugged at him.

"From the way she's looking at you though," he whispered, "she might just want you too."

I opened my mouth to reply, but found myself cut off by Mr Cooper who was knocked onto the floor, in amongst the other couples.

"You son of a bitch!" The man, standing over him, yelled.

I looked away from Mr Cooper and scanned the suddenly standing crowd for Marissa. She was still on the edge of the dance floor, but with her hands covering her mouth.

"You thief!" The man hit Mr Cooper back down, as he'd tried to stand. "You took my money!"

Sandy pushed between the teenage couples and went to pull the man away from Mr Cooper.

"Get off me!" he yelled at Sandy as he tried to get to Mr Cooper "You're a thief! You're a thief!" He spat at Mr Cooper, struggling to get free of Sandy and another man, who'd come to Marissa's dad's aid. "Get off me!" he shook Sandy and the other guy off, hitting Sandy in the process. "He's a thief!"

"Leave. Now." Sandy told him, having pushed him a good distance from Mr Cooper.

"You're a thief… He's a thief!" The man yelled as a couple of other father's led him out of the room.

The dance floor was left clear and there was space for Marissa to run to her father and crouch over him. I watched as she tenderly touched his lip before helping him up and leading him out of the hall.

I left Zach, who'd finally released me from the waltz position no longer frozen in the moment, and walked across to Seth and Anna.

"And Mum and Dad were worried you'd make trouble." He sighed.

"Yeah…" I said not really thinking.

"This would be your cue, as the friend, to go see if she's okay." Anna told me.

"Oh, yeah, right." I nodded and walked out the door Marissa and her father had left by.

I found her in one of the girls' toilets dabbing a damp paper towel at Jimmy's lip. She looked up and saw me leaning on the doorframe, 'Not now' she mouthed at me. I nodded once more before walking back the way I came.

I walked outside and sat on a bench facing the golf course and the stars. I looked up at them and as much as I tried to wonder what the fight had been about, I could only think about what Zach had said to me. I thought about all the signs Marissa had given me that she, might just, like me too.

I thought about all that happened; jail, abandonment, running away, jail again and then the Cohens'. I thought about how life had taught me to expect nothing but disappointment.

But then I thought about how stupidly gay she made me feel. How just by smiling she could make me smile too. How by laughing I wanted nothing more than to laugh with her. And how I just spent all my time with her wanting so much to kiss her, to feel her lips against mine.

I felt a body join me on the bench. I turned to face her and instantly wrapped an arm around her, Marissa simply leaned against my shoulder as I pulled her closer to me.

"You okay?" I asked her quietly.

"What happened in there?" she asked me, I could feel her tears rolling from her face and onto my shoulder.

"I don't know."

"Well, what's going to happen now?"

"I don't know… I'm not so good at this am I?" She continued to cry.

She wiped tears off her cheek and looked up at me. She looked so fragile as she looked into my eyes, like the simplest thing could cause her to break. I watched her and she just kept looking into my eyes, as if trying to concentrate on not crying.

She moved closer towards me, and then her lips were on mine. I had all I'd wanted and knew instantly that I would find it hard to want anything else. But I reluctantly found myself pulling away from her.

"Are you kissing me to kiss me, or are you kissing me to forget?" I asked her quietly.

She frowned at me, "Does it matter?" she asked after a while.

"Yes." I said, "It has to."

"Why couldn't you have just left it alone?" She asked me, standing quickly before running back into the hall.

It was strange, I realised as I turned back to looking at the stars, after spending the day quoting Friends my life had very suddenly turned into something out of One Tree Hill.

So I just sat there, staring out at the stars and waiting for Sandy and Kirsten to find me to take me home.

* * *

R&R, thank you. Circus.


	5. The Outsider

********

The Outsider

"Stop it." Seth told me as I picked up and checked my cell phone for like the thousandth time during lunch. "She hasn't text you." I sighed and put my cell face down on the table. "She's not going to text you either."

"But we-"

"Kissed. Yeah I know. The moonlight, the touch, the taste…" he sighed, leaning his head in his hand, "Yeah I know."

"Zach said that she looked like she was into me though."

"Zach this, Zach that." Seth rolled his eyes, "What is he your new best friend?"

"Shut up, don't be so," I waved my hand around, searching for the word, "I don't know, just don't be it."

He laughed at me, "Way to clear that up for me."

"I reckon you and Zach could be quite good friends you know."

"Yeah like that would ever happen. He's a water polo player, there's more chance of me getting into a fight with him over Summer in a comic book store."

"Finish off your lobster." I pointed at his plate.

"Or what?" he laughed at me.

"I will."

"No," he pulled his plate forward, "mine."

"Just as well," I pushed my empty plate towards the centre of the table, "I am literally stuffed after mine."

"The lobster failed in its main objective though," Seth said as he polished off his, "I was meant to be taking you out to lunch to take your mind off Marissa." He told me as he snatched up my phone before I could check it again.

"Wait," I shook my head trying to get it to focus on the conversation, "you're paying for lunch?"

"Threw in a couple of sailing lessons this week. Feeling a little bit flush." He explained as he signalled the waiter for the bill.

"Not you too." I sighed as he pulled out his wallet. "I can't keep doing this. Ever since your parents took me in, they've been like paying for everything. I can't keep taking their money."

"They're parents. They work for us." He told me as he counted out money.

"No. They're your parents. I'm just like a sponge that absorbs money."

"They're your guardians. It's the same principle." He looked up and saw my look of extreme doubt, "Okay. What are you going to do for cash then?"

A plate hit the ground and the entirety of the restaurant turned to the source of the noise. We found our selves staring at a guy, presumably the owner, yelling one of the waiters.

"Get out of here!" The owner pointed at the front door as the waiter threw his towel down on the floor.

"You can't fire me! I quit!" The guy yelled back before storming out.

I looked back at Seth and smiled, as the rest of the restaurant went back to their conversations, and pointed towards the owner.

"Fine." He said, "But you're going to hook me up with free lobster."

* * *

"This actually works out good for me." Seth told me as I got ready for work in the pool house the next day. "You starting the new job because now... I'm going to have time to do all the stuff that I haven't been able to do since you moved here. Like I'm going to get start my novel."

"Novel?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well not yet but now I have time to start one."

"Be back by six." I nodded at him, throwing on a hoodie.

"Yeah. I know." He looked at his watch. "It's nine now, which means I'm going to have nine hours of me time. You know what I'm saying? For me, Alex. I'm going to do stuff like learn Chinese. Study my Talmud. You know what I mean? Sink my teeth into it."

"You going to be okay?" I grabbed my bag and turned to him before I was out of the door. "I mean you're talking really fast."

"Yes, yes I am, but that's only because I'm excited about all the me time." He took a deep breath. "Before you moved here, all I did was hang out by myself anyway. So it's really a return to form." He told me as he followed me towards the house.

I spotted the Newpsies congregated in the kitchen and quickly went into the house via the dining room. Seth and I found Sandy hiding behind the doorframe, listening to the women talk in the next room.

"Uh Dad," Sandy turned to face us, "what are you doing, man?"

He gestured for Seth to keep quiet; "I'm waiting for them to disperse."

Seth just nodded at him headed into the kitchen, he'd barely got his toe across the threshold before Sandy grabbed the back of Seth's collar and pulled him into the dinning room.

"I left my briefcase in there. I - I need to get to work." Sandy said, going back to peering nervously round the edge of the door.

"Well. Isn't this the time you… I don't know… go get it?" I laughed at him softly.

"And talk to those women? I can't."

"He didn't steal." We heard Kirsten say. "It wasn't like - She's our friend."

"I can't believe you're defending them. Jimmy Cooper is a thief and a felon." One of the women responded.

"Those women are obsessed." Seth mumbled beside me.

"Are you kidding?" Sandy turned to look at him. "A scandal this big in a town this small? I mean, they'll be dining out on this for months!"

"What are their kids going to do? I mean, with their father in prison?" A woman told the kitchen gathering.

"You think he's going to jail?" A new voice joined the discussion.

"I hear ten to twenty." The first woman told her.

"Is that true? Is he going to jail?" I asked Sandy.

"Jimmy Cooper stole a lot of money from a lot of powerful people." He shrugged.

"What's Marissa going to do without her dad?" Seth asked him but Sandy didn't look like he had the answer to his son's question.

I patted him on the shoulder and walked out the front door, I pulled out my phone from my bag and scrolled through the tracks Seth had put on it for me, once I found one I stuck in the headphones and walked to work.

* * *

As I walked along the pier I spotted Marissa sitting in the trunk of her car. I instinctively turned up the volume of my music and dug my hands deep into my pockets. As I walked past her she grabbed my arm, indicating for me to stop. I turned towards her and she jumped out of the trunk.

She started talking to me, but all I could hear was:

I_Because I can't help wonder why you ask me_

_  
To all the unheard wisdom in the schoolyard  
You think you're the right ones  
You think you're the charmed ones, I'm sure  
How can you go on with such conviction?  
_

_And who do you think you are?_

_Why do you question me?  
_

_Because we can't not  
Because we can't not  
Because we can't help laugh at underestimations  
_

_Because we can't not  
Because we can't not_

_Because we can't afford to be misled one more time_/I

When her mouth closed for the final time, I removed my hands from my pockets and pulled my headphones out of my ears.

"Yeah, I didn't hear a word of that." I told her.

"Then why the hell did you let me keep talking?" she asked her brows furrowed, her hands on her hips. I just shrugged.

She turned to climb back into her car, I grabbed her arm, just as she had mine, and pulled her into an ally behind me. I pushed her against the damp wall and pressed my lips against hers.

"I didn't want to hear you telling me how 'we should just be friends.'" I told her once I pulled back. "That kiss the other night told me you want so much more than that."

"Kisses can be deceptive." She said simply, folding her arms in front of her.

"Then why did you kiss me back just now?" I asked her. She looked away. "I'm going to ask you out, when you're ready to deal with the fact that you might just like me like I like you: say yes." I told her, before walking out the alley and into the restaurant.

* * *

At the Crab Shack I was given a locker and an apron. I shoved my bag in the small metal space and tied the white apron loosely around my waist before walking out into the main restaurant.

"Uh," I tapped one of the other waitresses on arm when she didn't look up from the magazine she was reading, "I was told to shadow Donnie?" She simply pointed across the restaurant to a gruff looking guy with dark hair clearing tables. "Thanks." I told her before walking over to him. "Hey." He looked up from the dirty plates, looked me up and down and smiled. "I was told that you'd show me what to do."

"Oh I'll show you alright." He said, putting down his blue plastic bowl and sliding over to me.

"No." I told him simply.

"No?" he frowned.

"No." I repeated.

"You'll change your mind," he smiled before going back to clearing the table.

"I doubt that. So," I sighed, "you and the showing me of the ropes?"

"Oh yeah," he nodded, before walking out to the kitchen and coming back with another blue plastic bowl and handing it to me.

"I'm going to give you the run down." He told me, walking over to a table he'd yet to clear. He grabbed a paper place setting and a napkin.

"This is garbage." He crumpled them quickly in his hands. "It belongs in the garbage." He demonstrated by throwing his ball of trash in the nearest garbage can.

"This," he held up plates with leftover food on them, "belongs over here." He put the plates in his plastic bowl. "And, uh," he rubbed his hands together, "now for the advance class."

He smiled and gently slapped my stomach with the back of his hand, indicating for me to follow him across the restaurant. He stopped in front of a lone diner, placed his hands simply behind his back and leaned over the table towards her.

"Hello, Mrs Palmer." He smiled down at her, charm dripping from him like sweat, "How are you today? Would you like another glass of Merlot?"

The woman merely smiled and nodded at him, before Donnie walked away whispering 'Drunk.' in my ear as he picked up a bill from the bar.

"Been working here long?"

"Oh, man, too long. Everybody that comes in here is a freak show. They like to have thirty-dollar entrées on plastic plates. Sixty-dollar bottles of wine in plastic cups. And their service - with a big smile." He rung up the bill he'd picked up, "Welcome to Newport, where things only appear to be casual."

He turned at the sound of the door opening, I followed his gaze and found myself watching Marissa and Summer walk in.

"Of course, living here does have its upsides." He smiled at me.

Marissa stopped when she saw me watching her, we seemed to simply stand locked in each other's gaze before she went and sat with Summer. They didn't stay long, however as, as soon as Luke walked in with Holly and a couple of other friends Marissa pushed her chair back and walked out the main door, making sure to knock into Holly's shoulder as she did. I watched as Summer did something similar, shouting something about betrayal first though, before she followed Marissa out onto the pier.

"I hate that kid, man." Donnie whispered in my ear.

"I know," I said, turning back to him, "he's been getting with Holly for ages now, I'm amazed it took him this long to come out about it." Donnie just looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "I mean 'I know.' End of sentence."

"Whatever," Donnie shook his head, looking at me curiously. "He walks in here like he owns the place. Let me tell you something, that Abercrombie and Fitch water polo playing bitch wouldn't last two minutes in Corona."

"You're from Corona?" He just nodded. "Chino, born and raised." I smiled back at him.

"Chino? That's a long way from home. That place's no joke, man."

"Don't I know it." I sighed at him, before picking up my plastic bowl and heading towards a vacated table.

"Yo!" Donnie called after me, coming over to help me clear the table. "So these Newport kids must make you sick too then?"

"Nah," I shrugged, "some of them are cool. Well, the ones that don't go all Confederate Flag on my arse anyway."

"You want to put that into some sort of language I speak?" He laughed.

"Not really." I picked up my plastic bowl and carried it out into the kitchen.

"There's some real people around here, you know." Donnie said following me out, "After work, I'll show you what I'm talking about."

"Maybe." I shrugged at him, placing down the bowl.

"Maybe?"

"Yeah, 'maybe.'" I repeated.

"God you're hard work," he sighed leaning against the counter whilst I unpacked my plastic bowl. "What you got something better to do round here?"

"I'm hoping to."

"You're not dating one of these A&F models are you?"

"What's it to you?" I asked him.

"Nothing," he folded his arms, "just figured you to have better taste."

"Like in you?" I scoffed.

"Hey, I'm cream of the crop." He pointed at nothing in particular.

"Write your number down on one of the napkins and I'll text you if I have in fact, nothing better to do."

* * *

At the end of my shift, I went to my locker and pulled out my phone. No texts. I shoved it into my pocket and threw my apron into the space where my back was. I slammed the door, the noise filling the cramped back room of the restaurant.

"So," I sighed, my head against the locker door, "this party of yours, it got alcohol?"

"Yup," Donnie nodded as he pulled a fresh shirt over his head.

"Can I come?"

"Knew I'd wear you down." He laughed, slapping me on the back as he passed me. "Come on."

* * *

I woke up the next morning with a killer headache. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and cursed myself for being too lazy and drunk to pull down my blinds the night before. I checked my watch and found that half the morning had already gone. I rolled over and picked up my cell from my bedside table. Still no texts. I dropped it back down and proceeded to get up.

I threw on the nearest set of clothes I could find and walked into the kitchen towards the coffee pot.

"Hey, where you keep the asprin?" I asked Seth who was reading comics at the counter.

"Mom and Dad's room, bathroom cabinet."

"Cheers." I told him as I took my headache and coffee cup off in the direction Seth had sent me.

"Mom and Dad were going spare last night, by the way." Seth told me upon my return to the kitchen.

"Why?" I asked, grabbing the box of cereal.

"What time you come home?"

"Bout two, three maybe."

"That's why." Seth said not looking up from his comic. "How was last night anyway?"

"Alright," I shrugged, chucking some dry cereal into my mouth, "All I remember was that there was alcohol and Donnie hitting on me, like all the time, consequently there was a lot more alcohol."

"Why didn't you just tell him you were gay?"

"You can't tell a guy you're a lesbian."

"You told me." He looked up from his comic.

"You don't count."

"I don't know whether that's good or not."

"Well," I waved a handful of cereal at him; "Donnie's a guy-guy, meaning that if I tell him I'm gay, he doesn't hear 'lesbian' he hears 'challenge'." He frowned at me. "When I told you I was gay and you just took it as that, I tell Donnie I'm gay and he'll want to convert me insistent on the fact that I haven't met the right guy yet…" I waved my hand around.

"So not good." Seth nodded, closing his comic and walking away.

* * *

As I walked to work, I saw Marissa sat in the back of her car just as she had been the day before. When she spotted me she jumped out and motioned for me to remove my earphones.

"What you listening to today?" She asked me.

"Arctic Monkeys," I smiled at her, "'I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor'"

She took one of the earphones and placed it in her ear, "Cool." She asserted, passing it back to me.

"Glad you approve."

"Look," she said after a moment's silence, "I'm not gay."

"Okay." I shrugged.

"I know I kissed you that other night, but hey," she raised her hands defensively, "my dad had just got knocked down in the middle of my cotillion. I think that entitles me to a little steam blowing."

"Sure," I shrugged again, "just next time you feel like blowing off steam, don't do it with me." I told her before putting my headphones back in and leaving her to walk the last few steps to work.

* * *

My shift, which was thankfully half the length of my first one, went by without any sign of excitement. Donnie was too hung over to hit on me, in fact he was too hung over to do much and I found myself, despite being new, picking up his slack.

The only interesting part of my shift was when Seth walked in towards the end of it, holding up two tickets to something with a broad smile stretched across his face.

"Hey you," I smiled back at him. "Glad to see you are out of the funk you were in this morning."

"Indeed I am and that has a little something to do with a thing I like to call the Imax Experience." I took the tickets from his hand and frowned at them. "This town sucks, best I could do."

"As much as I would have liked to have seen a shark movie with you, and I hope my sarcasm was evident in that sentence," I handed the tickets back to him, "I'm thinking about hanging out in my room and doing some serious moping."

"Marissa still not talking to you?" he asked me as he sat down at the bar.

"Oh no," I sighed, "she's talking to me, just enough to tell me that the thing at the cotillion was her dealing with her father." He just frowned at me. "She was blowing off steam," I threw my towel down on the counter, "whatever that means."

"Even more reason to just forget about her, find yourself a real lesbian in Newport." He smiled at me, "And what's the best way of doing that? With a good old fashioned shark movie!" He waved the tickets in front of me again.

"I don't think so, I'd rather just mope." I told him before turning round and poking my head in the kitchen: "Hey Donnie, I'm going to head out in a minute."

"All right, man." He said, as he walked out dividing money up, "I'm going to head out of here too. Can't believe we, uh, survived this shift." he handed me a share of the tips. "I'm so hung over, man. What're you going to do now?"

"Going home." I told him simply, before picking up my towel again and leaving him and Seth at the counter to finish cleaning up.

* * *

When my shift was officially over I met Seth outside on the peer, where he was sat on his skateboard staring out at the ocean.

"Hey man, sorry bout the shark movie. You still going to go?"

"No, I'm going with Donnie to this party at Long Beach. I offered him your ticket but then he said something about 'crazy honeys' and well I was sold." He smiled at me, "I'm just out here waiting for him, in fact."

"Cool." I smiled at him, repositioning my bag on my shoulder. "Just don't take the Range Rover." I told him before walking slowly home.

* * *

I was sat on my bed listening to Ani DiFranco's 'Untouchable Face' on repeat, my hands under my head, my eyes staring up at the ceiling finding different images in the shadows the setting sun caused.

Some time after the sun had eventually set there was a tentative knock at my door, I rolled over and faced the opposite wall.

"Kirsten I'm fine, I promise," I told her, "I'm just really not hungry tonight."

"Uh…" I rolled over to face the door and quickly stood up when I found out who'd knocked. "Hey." She said quietly.

"Hey." I nodded back at her.

"I'm sorry about earlier." Marissa told me, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Don't be," I stuck my hands in my pockets, "I mean," I shrugged, "you were just being honest."

"Yeah." She sighed walking further into my room towards me, I took a step back and folded my arms. She looked my new stance up and down before shaking her head, "I don't know why I'm here."

"Me neither." I told her before watching her walk out the door just as silently as she'd come in.

* * *

The next morning I was sat on the steps smoking a cigarette before work whilst I listened to Seth explain to Sandy why the Range Rover now had 'Rich Boy' written across the bonnet as well as why the windows were now lacking glass. I tuned him out and simply focused on the straight line of smoke coming out of my mouth.

"Thought you were going to quit smoking?" Sandy asked me, once he'd finished with Seth. I looked up at him and met his gaze before shrugging. "You okay?"

"Will be." I told him before standing up and throwing the butt down the drive way. "Got to get to work." I picked up my bag and my bike and rode off.

* * *

I spent the day folding napkins which meant that it was a perfect opportunity for me to just sit in the back room with my headphones in and continue my moping. Which after Marissa's visit had increased ten fold. I'd changed my playlist from Ani on repeat to general angry men with guitars screaming into microphones about the badness that is women.

A hand waving in front of my face triggered me to pull out my headphones and look up to find the owner of the hand.

"Hey," I nodded at Seth, "how's your hangover?"

"Not so bad now." He shrugged pulling a chair over so he could join me by the napkins. "So what you fancy doing tonight?"

"I'm thinking music and a good book." Seth raised his eyebrow at me. "What?"

"Dude, you're meant to be this hard core chick from Chino…" I opened my mouth to cut in but he held up his hand. "Sitting in your room reading on a Friday night does not make for a hard core chick from Chino."

"Just 'cause I'm from Chino doesn't mean I'm hard core." I scooped up the pile of napkins and pushed my chair back. "What you got in mind then?"

"Local house party, which is great 'cause it means I don't have to take the Range Rover."

"Cool." I nodded, "whose?"

"Holly's." He told me following me out into the restaurant.

"Fuck no." I dumped the napkins down by the cutlery and headed straight back into the back room.

"Uh, why not?"

"Because Marissa will be there. We won't talk. Will be totally awkward." I told him as I slammed my locker door shut threw on my hoody.

"Okay you just said 'totally' you have been in Orange County too long." Seth smiled at me. "And anyway you're forgetting the fact that Marissa has been shunned like a poor Amish girl using a hairdryer; she won't be there. Now you have no excuse not to party."

"I will go for ninety minutes."

"That's my girl!" he smiled at me pushing me out of work.

* * *

"Seth why are we here?" I asked him as we both sat on the sofa in the corner of the room watching a load of kids that hated us having a good time.

"To party?" he tried.

"You should have gone to one of Donnie's parties then." I sighed sipping from my drink.

"Nah, that didn't really work out so well; what with the Range Rover getting trashed and him and I having nothing in common except for you and given your absence last night we didn't even have that!"

I looked at him, "You're in babble mode."

"I'm bored, what do you expect?"

"Lets go home and be losers there." I put my empty cup down on the table in front of us, stood up and headed to the door.

"You're not leaving already are you?" I heard Luke ask from behind me.

"Yup," I nodded, still facing the door, "why sit on a sofa here when I can sit on a sofa at home."

"What I don't know is why you even bothered coming here." He said, walking around me so he was between me and the exit.

"I've been asking myself that all night, but hey," I shrugged, "what can I say, I liked the atmosphere."

"You trying to gayify more girls?" He smirked at his friends before turning his attention back to me. "'cause look around, you're the only dyke here."

"One," I sighed at him, "'gayify' not a word. And two," I grabbed a can from the nearby countertop and threw it at his head, "I really hate being called a dyke." I told him as he held his head. "Will you let me pass now?"

I was surprised I managed to finish that sentence before his fist collided with my face. His punch knocked me down to the ground, I spat the blood out before attempting to stand up again.

"Go team you; you hit me. Can I go home now please?" I asked, my hand still rubbing my jaw.

"Come on, bitch." He shoved me back against the wall, "Fight back." He smiled at me.

My fists were clenched so tightly my hands were numb, however, I knew that there was no way I could even hit Luke without at least one of his friends hitting me twice as hard back.

"No." I said quietly.

"What was that?" Luke laughed loudly, making sure that those that hadn't already focused their attention upon us were now.

"I said no. Just let me go home. Please." I added so that only he could hear.

"Luke let her go." Holly said, walking over and entwining her arm with his. "She's not bothering anyone."

"Fine." He stepped back so that I could pass. "Just know that you and your faggot friend aren't welcome here." He told me and Seth as we walked to the door.

Once we'd crossed the thresh hold, back onto the street, we heard the party kick off again.

"Well that was humiliating." I told Seth as I lit up a cigarette.

"Yeah, I know. I've been his class since kindergarten and I'm just 'your faggot friend'?"

"Yeah," I nodded at him, "that was the worst part of it." I agreed as I tried to hail a cab. "Remind me again never to listen to you."

"Hey, least I never invited Donnie," Seth shrugged, "he would have probably pulled a gun on them or something."

"Most likely." I nodded. "Though it would be cool to see Luke get shot."

"So now what?" Seth asked me, as I threw my cigarette aside and stepped into a cab.

"We go home and construct a way for me to get over Marissa."

"I preferred it when we were talking about Luke getting shot." He sighed as he got in beside me.

* * *

R&R, thank you. Circus.


	6. The Girlfriend

**The Girlfriend**

"Are we worried your dad won't love us if we don't feed him enough?" Sandy asked as we unpacked the car.

"Alright starting now, no more digs at my dad." Kirsten told us, as she pasted Sandy another bag.

"Oh honey, that wasn't a dig. Seth?"

"No..." Seth conceded, "but when you called him a heartless bastard, that was a dig." He smiled at his father.

"You sold me out!" Sandy pointed back at him before following Kirsten into the house with the shopping.

"See they're like puppets and I'm puppet master." Seth told me once his mum and dad were out of earshot.

"World domination to follow. So your grandpa he…" I stopped as I tried once again to pick up the bag of coal, "he basically owns Newport right?"

"Yes and much like yourself he comes from humble beginnings, you guy's probably hit it off."

"I burnt down one of his homes." I reminded him as I put the bag over my shoulder, "I don't see us sitting round the dinner table laughing about that."

"Yeah but it was an accident, he owns like a million of them, its probably not even on his radar."

"You're leaving too much up to probably here!" I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Hey seriously," he patted my shoulder, in a manner I'm sure he thought would be reassuring, "don't worry about it. He let my mom run the company, now he's got a new girlfriend, he's very mellow." He smiled at me.

"Seth!" An older gentleman walked out of the house, wearing a striped T-shirt that was reminiscent of one that they'd wear in the navy.

"Hey!" Seth smiled at him.

"Hey!" the gentleman repeated pulling him into a hug.

"How you doing?" Seth asked him once he was free from his arms.

"You're still not a football player." He noted after looking Seth up and down.

"Ah yes, no but thank you. Uh, Grandpa meet my friend Alex." Seth said, drawing the attention to me and away from his scrawny build.

"You're the kid that burnt down my house."

"So the police tell me." I sighed putting down the bag so I could offer my hand, which he then ignored.

"Come on." Seth nudged him and he took my hand and shook it firmly.

"So you've got to see my pictures from Spain," he said to Seth, ignoring me once more, "and you got to promise me to go to Barcelona while you're still young."

"Alright." Seth shrugged.

"You want to take those and put them round by the grill?" He asked me looking at the bags of coal behind me.

"Yes what ever girl loves; heavy lifting!" I mumbled, throwing a bag on my shoulder once more whilst Caleb stirred Seth inside.

I carried the bag round to the barbecue, dumped it and looked watched the family reunion going on in the living room. Given his already, apparent distaste for me I thought I would just lay low in my room until dinner. As I turned however, I saw this beautiful blonde getting in to the pool. She simply stood there half submerged, glad only in a blue bikini.

"Hi." She smiled at me once she caught me staring.

"Hey." I shook my head to try and stop from staring, "Hey." I simply repeated when I realised I couldn't.

"I'm Gabriel... I'm with Caleb." She told me, gesturing towards the house.

Seth came walking over to me, I ignored him, not intentionally, but there was a half naked blond beauty in front of me, he was hardly top of my priorities.

"Oh my god that could be my grandma." He whispered in my ear. "That could be a sure fire way to get over Marissa."

"Uh huh." I nodded. "Want to get in the pool?"

"Sure." He nodded back at me before running back into the house.

I walked into my room and threw clothes around until I found the bikini that Kirsten had bought me. Upon finding the red top and the black shorts, I had insisted on her buying if she had to buy me swim wear, I got changed, grabbed a towel and made my way into the spa to be met by Seth momentarily after.

"Is it twisted to find my potential grandma really hot?" he asked me as we watched her float around the pool on a mat.

"Not when she looks like that!"

"Gabriel." I turned to see Caleb standing on the patio.

"Yeah?" she looked up at him.

"We're going to sit, drink some wine, catch up."

"Okay, do you want me to uh..?" she motioned as to getting out of the pool.

"Lie out in the sun, get some colour. Try to stay out of trouble." He said waving her off and walking back into the house.

"Can I join you guys?" she asked us after she'd swam over to the spa.

I looked over at Seth who seemed to have been struck dumb by her.

"Yeah, yeah come on and uh…" I gestured at the space in front of us but found my sentence lacking an end.

"Yeah, no yeah." Seth finished for me.

She jumped up onto the edge of the pool and slid her way over to us in the spa.

"Whoo, its warm," she said sliding in between me and Seth. "So what's up?"

"We were uh…" I struggled to find words.

"We-we…"

"We were talking about the uh…" I looked at Seth blankly who simply looked just as vacantly back at me. "I was telling – he was telling me about – we were talking about the thing!"

"So this birthday party for Caleb it's like a who's who of Newport," Seth just nodded at her, "should be wild huh!"

"You have seen Newport right!" I asked her disbelieving.

"I'm being sarcastic." She smiled gently at me.

"And you say I don't get sarcasm!" Seth laughed nervously. I simply opened and closed my mouth a couple more times. "Yes, we don't get a lot of that around here, slightly more since Alex moved in, but still not all that much."

"So who're you guys bringing?" she asked us.

"I would say no one really."

"And I would have to ditto that," I smiled glumly at her.

"How come?" she frowned at us, "Surely good looking teenagers like you?"

"Kids don't really like us round here." I explained.

"How come?"

"She's a dyke and I'm a dork." Seth said simply.

"Thank you for that one." I said, hitting him across the shoulder. Gabrielle simply watched us with her eyebrows raised. "I don't like being called a dyke." I said simply.

"I hate labels too." She said simply as she leaned back against the Jacuzzi wall.

"No offence but what do you know about labels?"

"'Cept for beautiful." Seth muttered besides me.

"More than you know." She smiled at us before pushing herself up and getting out. We watched her as she walked along the patio, grabbed her towel and walked into the house.

"So Marissa huh?"

"Marissa who?" I asked Seth.

* * *

The next day I was back at work. Donnie was apparently M.I.A after an incident with the police and so I was called in to help cover his shifts. It was bizarre, whenever any of the other members of staff had a free moment they were gossiping about what had allegedly happened. I on the other hand didn't care and so was consequently left to my own devices.

I was wiping down the counter top when I felt a figure standing over me. I looked up and found Gabriel looking back at me with a quizzical expression on her face.

"Hey." She smiled at me.

"Hey."

"Seth and Caleb are sailing. I've never seen two people more excited about boats." She shook her head. "Seth said you work here and I could use a cocktail."

"You'll have to wait around five years if you want me to serve it to you." I smiled at her and moved on to cleaning the next table.

"Right, you're not legal," she laughed. "How bout a cranberry juice."

"That I can do." I smiled at her, as I walked back behind the bar.

"Alright." She pulled out a mini bottle of vodka from her bag. "From the flight." She explained when she saw me watching her pour it into her drink. "I hate flying, you?"

"Never flown." I told her as I tied the bar.

"My first time I was fifteen, my mother sent me to Japan all by myself to do some modelling." I looked up at her from the glass I was cleaning. "I guess she figured it was easier then her having to get a job."

"Know that feeling."

"I've heard."

"So, uh, how'd the modelling thing turn out?"

"Well when your a teenager and your living in a house with a bunch of girls...no parents, things can get a little insane."

"Doesn't sound all that bad!" I muttered.

"By the time I got clean I was 22: retirement age." She continued oblivious to my comment. "You must think its weird, me with an older guy."

"Random change of topic. That was quite a tangent there." I smiled at her. "But I live in a pool house; I'm not really one to judge."

I watched her as she drained her drink. I got her some more cranberry juice for her to add her vodka to before asking:

"Yesterday… when you were talking about labels…" I stopped when I realised she was trying to suppress her laughter. "What?" I smiled at her.

"I just wondered how long it would take you to ask that question."

"Does it get an answer?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow.

"When's the end of your shift?"

"Not for another three hours but I'm due a break."

"Get me some shrimp and join me at a table outside." She told me before she picked her purse up from the bar and walked outside.

"Okay…" I said slowly to nobody in particular.

* * *

I watched her as she picked up another bit of shrimp and dipped it in the sauce before popping it into her mouth. I simply lit up another cigarette before stealing a bit of her vodka and cranberry.

"So you're living in a pool house and then..." she took back her glass. "So what's next for you?"

I simply shrugged, took back her glass and downed it. "You're going to need another one of those." I told her. "I assume my next step will be getting it for you."

"In five minutes though," she smiled at me. "You're still on break." I simply smiled back at her, meeting her gaze.

A shadow suddenly fell over us, I looked up and found Marissa standing there.

"Hey." She tried to smile, but merely faltered as she looked between me and Gabriel. "You got a sec?"

I took another drag from my cigarette before nodding, she indicated for me to follow her to the edge of the peer to which I obliged and leant against the railing besides her.

"Who's she?" she asked after a while.

"Gabriel."

"Oh," I heard her say quietly.

"Look," I turned round to face her, "are you here for a reason? Its just I have to get back to work."

"I… I…" I raised my eyebrows at her, "I just want to know how long you're going to act like this towards me." I simply shrugged. "I mean we were friends."

"And you want that again?" I asked her, throwing my cigarette over the edge of the peer.

"I… I just-"

"ALEX!" I looked over and saw my manager standing in the doorway.

"I have to get back to work." I told her, leaving her standing by the edge of the peer trying to figure out what it was that she wanted.

"Who was that?" Gabriel asked me as I past her.

I looked back at Marissa still standing there, looking out at the ocean.

"No one." I told her, before heading back in to work.

* * *

"Why are we here?" Seth asked me as we sat on the floor of the living room playing video games.

"Where else would we be?" I asked him, as I shot down one of his men.

"Don't know," he shrugged, "just figured we'd be on the peer right now."

"And what? You'd be on your board, I'd be on my bike, we'd bump into Marissa and Summer have a really awkward conversation and then quickly leave?"

"Sounds about right." Seth sighed as his last man was killed by one of mine.

The doorbell rang as he loaded up a new game.

"Hold that thought." I told him as I stood up to answer it. "But never fear I shall beat you in just a moment." I called out to him as I opened the door. "Oh." I said when I saw it was Marissa on the doorstep.

"Not the best greeting I've ever received." She sighed.

"What do you want?" I asked, arms folded across my chest.

"I…" she stopped as she looked my posture up and down, "I…"

"You're making a habit of this, coming over to me and then stuttering." I sighed at her.

"Will you quit being such a bitch and listen to me." She snapped.

"I would if you ever had anything to say."

"Forget it." She waved me off and walked back down the drive.

I slammed the door behind her and walked back to Seth.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"No one." I told before going to the fridge, I pulled out a bottle of Diet Coke before heading out to my room.

* * *

I sat quietly at dinner, pushing my food around my plate whilst the others talked around me. Even if I had wanted to talk to anyone I wouldn't have joined in, Seth and Caleb had been talking about sailing for over three-quarters of an hour.

"That was delicious Kirsten." Gabriel said eventually, pushing her plate away, letting me know it was safe to stop pretending that I was going to eat anything.

"Well thank you." Kirsten smiled back at her. "I order from them all the time." She laughed as she started clearing the plates.

"Less time at work, more time for cooking." Caleb laughed with her.

"Yeah because there is just no place Kirsten feels more comfortable than in the kitchen."

"What're you talking about? Mom can't even make cereal." Seth questioned his father's comment.

"Thanks Seth!"

"I love you mum." He made some so of face I can only imagine, he thought was meant to be cute.

"I love you too." Kirsten imitated Seth's 'cute' face and indicated for him to help her clear the table.

"You have a quick wit Seth, amazing you're not better at skirt chasing." Caleb smiled at him from across the table. Seth merely shrugged as he got up and picked up the remaining plates.

"What about you, Alex, how are you a skirt chasing?" Gabriel asked me, as she slowly slid her bare foot up my leg.

I spat out my drink. I squirmed in my chair. I looked at her in a way that did nothing to hide my surprise.

However, no one noticed as Caleb had just as quickly pushed his chair back and stormed into the kitchen after Kirsten. Tuning out his homophobic rant was easy though, I simply relaxed into Gabriel's touch.

"I can be." I eventually smiled back at her.

"SHE'S A GAY JUVENILE DELINQUENT KIKI!"

Sandy stood up hurriedly, "I'm…" he pointed into the kitchen, "I'm going to help Kirsten out… with the dishes." He quickly added, clearly hoping to ignore the fact that Caleb was shouting about me. "Why don't I pull Seth out of there and you three go hang out in the pool house."

"Yeah." Gabriel nodded as she too stood up just as Caleb's yelling started onto the topic of the house I'd burnt down. "Alex," she smiled at me, "you going to show me to your room?"

I pushed my chair back and moved around the table, she'd opened the French doors already and was half way across the back yard. She waited for me at my door, which I opened for her and simply watched as she made herself comfortable on my bed.

"You joining me?" She asked.

"I-"

"Fuck!" Seth whistled into my ear, "I may have overestimated the you and my granddad getting along factor."

"You think?" I asked him, before going over to the countertop and picking up one of my books and sitting down besides Gabriel.

"When I left they were all yelling about the business though, so I don't think you're the top of his list of grievences." He settled himself down on the floor beside my bed and pulled down the Game Boy I'd been playing on earlier. "Jesus Alex," he sighed at me, "this game sucks."

"Its one of yours." I told him not looking up from my book.

"Well I'm going to get one of my decent ones." He told me getting up again.

"Don't go through the kitchen." I told him as he walked through my door. "So, he always yell like that?" I asked Gabriel, nodding towards the kitchen, once I was sure Seth was out of earshot.

"Pretty much… he's the boss and…" she crawled along the bed closing the gap between us "…every relationship is a business relationship to him."

"Even yours?" I asked her, dropping my book to the floor.

"He'll only ever really loved one woman and she passed away years ago…" she told me as she slowly climbed on top of me, "now he's just looking to stay entertained… keep from being bored… but aren't we all." I looked up at her as she ran her hand along my thigh. "I am so bored." She finished softly.

I leaned forward and took her bottom lip between mine and slowly ran my tongue along the gap between them. She leaned closer, moving her hand along my side. Her hand touching the bare skin beneath my top sent shivers along my body. I ran my hands up and down her back, trying to pull her closer as we continued tasting each other.

"GABRIEL!" She suddenly shot up and looked towards the main house. "WE'RE LEAVING. NOW!"

She got off the bed, straitened her dress and sorted out her hair. "Back to the office." She sighed at me, before walking out of my room towards him.

* * *

I was on one of the reclining chairs by the pool, my earphones plugged into my phone, simply relaxing in the sun thinking about all that had happened the night before.

I couldn't get Gabriel out of my head; the way she'd kissed me, the way she'd touched me, the smell of her perfume filling my nostrils. And yet all the time I thought about her I couldn't shake the annoying voice in the back of my head that told me I still liked Marissa.

I was getting bored of it by this point though. Sure Marissa had given me plenty of signs she liked me back, but she'd given me more signs telling me that she didn't want to take it any further. And yet all I could ever think about what it would be like to kiss her again, to touch her, to feel her naked skin against mine.

When I shut my eyes I saw her coming over to me, every time she would phrase it differently but the end result was always the same; her lips on mine.

Seth pulled out one of my earphone, I opened my eyes and saw him standing above me.

"I've been talking to you for like two minutes now."

"I had my music on." I told him simply.

"Yeah," he nodded, sitting down on the end of my recliner, "I noticed. So," he smiled at me, "you thinking about Gabriel?"

"I- I- I- don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh really…" his smile only grew wider. "Okay, Alex, let me present exhibit A to you she opted to forgo sailing to go to the Crab Shack."

"Not everyone likes boats, you know."

"Okay lets take it to exhibit B here… She was mad dogging you for the entirety of dinner last night."

"She was?" I sat up quickly, foolishly giving myself away.

"Ha!" he pointed at me. "So you going to tell me what actually happened or do you want me to continue guessing?"

"Come on kids get ready, the caterers are here its time to get ready." Kirsten called out to us from the kitchen door.

"Okay," he said to his mother though completely ignoring her "I would like some answers."

"We kissed, felt each other up." I shrugged, trying to make out like it was no big deal.

"What?" He was leaning so close to me that I saw his pupils double in size. I merely shrugged again, before swinging my legs round him so I could stand up.

"You're granddad can't find out." I told him before going into my room.

* * *

"You're not at the party." Gabriel told me as she entered my room without so much of a knock first.

"You noticed." I smiled up at her from my bed.

"What you reading?" She nodded down towards the book in my hand as she slowly closed the gap between us.

"Tender is the Night." I told her simply, folding the page down before placing it besides me on the bed.

"F. Scott Fitzgerald." She smiled at me, joining me on the bed, placing a leg either side of mine. "Don't look up at me surprised, I read."

"I never doubted that." I smiled back at her, as I slid my right hand up and down her back. "Just surprised you'd rather be in here than out there celebrating your boyfriend's birthday."

"Why would I, when the company's so much better in here." She said simply before pushing me down and kissing me once more.

I didn't complain or even try to protest. Instead I ran my tongue back along her lower lip before gently biting down upon it. She kissed me harder still as she slowly started to play with my nipple, her hand almost trapped between my breast and my bra.

"Alex I-"

We both looked up to see Marissa practically running out of my now open door.

"Who _is_ she?"

"Marissa." I told her before asking her to leave.

I'd finally worked out what Marissa had been trying to tell me.

* * *

R&R, thank you. Circus.


	7. The Escape

I was requested to include a bit of Alex/Gabriel slash - however, I simply don't think she's all that. I hope I mentioned her enough to appease.  
Also there is one bit that has been left more or less untouched but that's simply because the writers got it so right the first time round.  
Enjoy and R&R, Circus.

**

* * *

******

The Escape

"The plan is undeniable."

"You know what?" I smiled at Seth, looking up from my cereal at him for the first time since he'd started speaking, "it really is."

"We have my mom's ranger, we have a perfect alibi-" he suddenly shook his head. "Wait did you just say my plan was in fact undeniable?" I simply smiled at him as I continued my breakfast. "'Cause I mean I had a whole speech worked out."

"If you want you can give it to me anyway." I waved my hand for him to continue.

"No, no its cool." Seth said as he started pouring his own bowl of cereal.

"You can go scam on Summer, I can go and try and make things up with Marissa and all with some Spanish subtitles." He shook his head and smiled at me. "What?"

"I just love the fact that up until Granddad when back on holiday you were sneaking out each night to fuck my potential grandma and yet all the time you've been trying to apologise to Marissa."

"It was just sex." I shrugged at him.

"Ignoring the fact that part of the reason Marissa won't talk to you is because she caught you with Gabriel?"

"No, Marissa is pissed at me because I was a complete bitch to her in the face of something new and daunting." I corrected him, pointing my spoon at him.

"And that would be you?" Seth questioned.

"And that would be me." I smiled back at him.

"Aren't you in a good mood today." Sandy patted me on the back on the way to the cupboard.

"Indeed I am." I smiled at him as he poured his coffee. "Marissa likes me!"

"Yeah, I noticed. Its good that you have other friends in Newport apart from Seth." He smiled back at me from behind his coffee cup.

"No I mean-" I suddenly realised what I was going to say to him and thought better of it. "You know what? Forget it."

"Anyway," he raised an eyebrow at me, "you all excited about Comicon? Seth's been going since he was ten. It's the highlight of his year."

"Thanks, highlight's a bit overstated-" he stopped suddenly when he noticed his dad's new suit, "Check you out, big pimpin'."

"Yeah, I got a meeting with a private law firm today."

"Why, you suing one of their clients?" I asked.

"No, it's a job interview."

"Which he'll never take." Kirsten told me as she passed me to get to the fridge. "They like to flatter him every once in awhile."

"But I go for the free meal."

"But I mean, you'll still be a public defender, right? I mean helping out, uh,… kids like me?"

"After 15 years? There's no way he's selling out." Kirsten reassured.

"Well, it'd have to be one hell of a free meal." Sandy smiled at Kirsten.

"And that's what they call a call-back in comedy, Alex."

"So, how soon until you two are leaving on your trip?" Kirsten asked me ignoring her son.

"Tomorrow." I told her.

"El Mañana." Seth smiled.

"Did I stop understanding English?" I turned to Sandy for help, having completely lost the thread of the conversation.

"Dude you're going to have to learn to speak Spanish if we're going to T-" he stopped when he noticed his parents eyeing him up with suspicion. "the comic book convention. Big Hispanic crowd there." He finished quickly.

"They didn't really teach it at my old school." I explained to Sandy and Kirsten trying to get their attention away from Seth, "I mean they taught it I just never went. I was doing other things."

"Like steeling cars?"

"Yes, Seth, that's exactly what I did in Chino."

"Sarcasm! Right, I'm with you. What did you do? What did you do?" He looked round, stroking his chin. "Aha!" he slammed his fist on the countertop. " Hot lesbian sex!"

Sandy spat out his coffee. "Hot lesbian what now?"

"And that's my queue to get changed for work." I laughed at Sandy as I pushed away my bowl and headed out to my room.

* * *

I had finished changing when Seth poked his head round the corner of my door and placed the ugliest hat on my head.

"Looks good." He smiled at me.

"I am all for Mexico but there is no way in hell I am wearing that hat." I said taking it off and throwing it at him.

"Alex? you mean sombreros. You really need to brush up on your Spanish." He held out a Spanish book "There's over 500 useful phrases."

I opened the book at one of the pages he'd folded over: "May I please see a lady's worsted nylon bathing suit? Does that even make grammatical sense?"

"Yep," he nodded "bet did you know that one?"

"I have to go to work," I sighed at him, getting up from my bed and grabbing my bag. "And I don't need a phrase book to get laid."

"I am learning that and so I am coming with so you can teach me the art of getting laid."

"How did I not see that one coming?" I asked him, shutting my door behind me and trying to light a cigarette in the back yard without Kirsten catching me.

"It's a combination of factors Lex…"

"Lex?"

"Its something I'm trying just go with it. One: God blessed me with the gift of being unpredictable. And two: you're just slow."

"I am not slow." I pointed at him before picking up my bike.

"Oh but Lexy, my dear, new found sister, I think you are."

"Lexy?" I held up my hand "Don't! I don't want to know. I have work to get to."

"And I have your work to get to and a you to bug."

"I turned down the option of a group home, I got let out of Juvie, I pushed my mother away; all for this." I muttered before pushing off on my bike and hoping I could master smoking whilst riding quickly.

* * *

As I was on cutlery detail again, Seth joined me in the back room and watched me as I worked. He filled me in on that fact that Summer and he had kissed at Caleb's party. A fact I'd clearly been too preoccupied thinking about Marissa to learn before.

"You know what she's doing? And it's textbook. She's playing hot and cold, trying to pretend our little kiss didn't happen." He told me, after ruling out all the ludicrous reasons he'd thought up as to why she hadn't contacted him since.

"There were no witnesses. I mean, I didn't see anything. And since I've come to Newport we're always together bar but a couple of occasions." I laughed as I picked up the bowl with all the cutlery I'd wrapped inside it. "Anyway thought you were into that Anna girl."

"Yes well Anna went to Tahiti, that ship has sailed." He explained as he held open the staff room door for me, "Well, I guess I'll just have to make magic happen again, won't I?"

I simply nodded as I walked over to the bar to dump the bowl. Just as I did so, both me and Seth watched as Marissa and Summer walked into the restaurant. I quickly undid my apron and practically threw it at Seth before going over to her.

"Hey," I smiled nervously at her, "how are you?"

"Wow," She smiled sarcastically, "look Summer, Alex is talking to me without either being a bitch or kissing some skank."

"Okay, so I deserved that." I sighed pulling up a chair so I could sit with them.

"What are you doing?" She asked me.

"I'm going to go stand somewhere that's not here." Summer quickly jumped up, pushing her chair back and joining Seth at the bar.

"You have a minute." Marissa told me, her arms folded in front of her.

"I'm sorry." I opened quickly but soon found I had nothing to go after it. "I was too busy being a bitch to listen to you, too busy thinking about myself rather than realising how hard it must have been for you to come up to me and explain-"

"Explain?" Marissa frowned at me. "Why should I explain myself? I did nothing wrong."

"You mean apart from merely kissing me and then telling me you were just using me?" I spat back at her.

She opened and closed her mouth, she looked as though she was going to protest but instead she simply stood up, grabbed her purse and left just as promptly as she come.

"But I still had thirty-seven seconds." I quietly told her rapidly retreating figure.

"Dude even I do better with girls than that." Seth laughed at me from across the restaurant.

"Thanks man." I smiled glumly at him. "Hey Summer."

She gave me a look to indicate that she was royally pissed at me; whether it was because of the whole 'dyke from Chino' thing or if it was because of all the crap that had gone on with Marissa I had no idea. I did, however, know there was no point pressing her so I simply went behind the bar and back to work.

"Anyway," she said slowly, watching me out of the corner of her eye, "Cohen, I'll see you tomorrow seeing as I now have to chase after Coop because of your friend." She sent me one last glare before following Marissa out of the restaurant.

"What she mean she'll see you tomorrow?" I asked him, sliding back across the bar to him.

"Well," he smiled, leaning on the bar in a manner which I assume would be his nonchalant pose, "we're giving her a lift to Tijuana."

"How come she's riding with us?"

"It would seem that she wants to spend large amounts of time with me in a small space; hey," he raised his hands, "I'm a good kisser." I simply looked at him doubtfully. "Okay, she's a social outcast she had no one else to take her."

"That mean Marissa's coming with us too?"

"Marissa isn't coming. Since she's a social outcast too and the only time you talk to her is when you yell at her she's not in the mood for drunken Spanish dubbed fun." He explained after further frowning on my part.

"I don't always yell at her." I mumbled, as I busied myself with glass cleaning.

* * *

I sat on the steps the next day, once again smoking, watching Sandy and Seth interact before we were allowed to leave the country or for Comicon as Sandy thought.

"Remember all the numbers?"

"Yes, Dad, I remember our phone number."

"Did you get any water? Huh? Extra batteries? Did you get some air in the tires? Did you put gas in the tank?" Sandy continued to panic at him.

"It's amazing I turned out so normal." Seth sighed as Sandy went back into the house, no doubt to grab another first aid kit.

"If that's what you like to call it." I smiled half-heartedly at him. "You know I'm not sure if I'm going to come, I mean the whole point of me going was so that I could make nice with Marissa and-" he held his hand up before I could continue.

"Come on." He mock whined. "This was going to be like a pseudo sibling bonding expedition."

"At no point was this ever going to be that." I pointed at him, discarding my cigarette as I did so. "This was going to be a going to Mexico to get laid expedition."

"Do you ever think of anything else Chino?" Summer asked; eyebrow raised, arm on her hip and a month's supply of clothes packed into suitcases at her side.

"Summer!" Seth smiled. "Let me get that." He tried to lift one of her suitcases and promptly fell over.

"Hey, Summer." Sandy smiled at her, walking out the front door. "Sandy Cohen, I'm Seth's dad." He shook her hand, "I had no idea you were into comic books."

"Comic books? Ew."

"She goes for the anime." Seth tried to explain quickly.

"Anime?" Sandy's smiled broadened.

"I'm going to say bye to Coop," she told Seth, her burrows furrowed in confusion to the conversation surrounding her, "don't touch my stuff." She instructed before walking down to the Cooper drive.

"This is going to be awesome." Seth clapped his hands excitedly at me.

"She's hot stuff, son."

"And now, it's ruined." He complained, he hands promptly back at his sides. "Al, can you help me with Summer's stuff?"

"Heavy lifting! Yay!" I deadpanned. "Shouldn't you be doing this for me?"

"No! Now work slave!" he clapped his hands together, "Work!" I simply looked at him. "Or I can do it!" he lifted one of Summer's bags and instantly dropped it again.

"And I'm the only gay one here!" I sighed, taking the bag from him and throwing it into the trunk.

"She's been gone a while. You think we should pick her up from the Cooper's?"

"I know she's Summer and you love her and all; but I'm sure her little daddy funded self can managed to get herself up one little driveway." He stared at me blankly. "Just get in." I told him leaping into the back seat.

The door opened a few minutes later, "Oh." Marissa just stared at me deciding whether or not she should get in.

"Not the best greeting I've ever received." I tried to smile at her, but the glare coming from her soon made me go back to staring out the window.

I felt her slide into the seat besides me and then heard the door slam. I wanted to speak to her, ask her what made her change her mind about coming, see how she was doing – but I had no idea how to. After the constant bickering we'd been doing and the way we were in the Crab Shack I didn't think we knew how to talk to each other any more.

"Vamanos! We're going to TJ!" Summer jumped in to the front seat and Seth started up the engine. I had hours to learn how to communicate with her again.

* * *

"We should be there in, like, 3 hours?" Summer told us once we'd left Newport and hit the I-805.

"The GPS says the ETA's three and a half." Seth corrected her.

"Well, that's because someone drives like an old woman."

"I'm going 70 in a 65 zone." He explained.

"80 is the new 70."

"What? Who talks like that?" he frowned at her, no longer looking at the road.

"Who gets passed by a van full of nuns?" she asked him. "Oh wait. Who? Cohen does."

"Well, they have God on their side, okay Summer? I'm not going to beat Jesus."

"Well you are Jewish." I smiled at him via the rear-view mirror.

"You're Jewish? Ew."

"Who knew even religion could get an 'Ew' from this girl." I smiled weakly at Marissa.

"That's your in?" she frowned at me, "By mocking my friends?"

"Forget it." I sighed, reaching forward for a bottle of water.

"I'll take it." Summer told me leaning through the gaps in the seats and snatching the bottle from me. "I'm so dehydrated. What is up with the AC? My hair is frizzing out, I look like Howard Stern!"

"See? You know, strangely, I think my Jewfro benefits from this." Seth smiled at her.

"Enough about the Jewish, god!" Triggering the entire car load to give her a strange look of one sort or another. "This is a nightmare. I'm sweating to death, driving 10 miles an hour, on like a rickshaw listening to this… music."

"_Hey!_" Seth quickly pointed at her, "do not insult Death Cab."

"It's like one guitar and a whole lot of complaining."

"This reminds me of someone else who's doing a whole lot of complaining, Summer. _You!_ Listen to me, I am driving this vehicle, and I will drive at the speed I feel comfortable, okay? It's my music, it's my snacks-"

"Kudos and goldfish? What are you, eight?"

"Alex, Marissa, say goodbye to Summer." He said turning the car sharply to the right.

"What are you doing?" She asked him, looking around the car's surroundings.

"I'm dropping you off." He told her, as the wheels hit the gravel besides the road.

"No you won't!" Summer told him, grabbing the steering wheel.

"Don't touch the wheel."

"Stop!" Summer tried to beat his hands off it.

Marissa and I simply watched as the two in front fought for control of the wheel. I think it came as a shook to all of us, Seth included, when he managed to over power us and take us further into the gravel edging and into something else all together.

"Great!" Summer complained, watching the steam rise from the buckled fender.

"Look what you've done!" Each pointing at the other, voices for the first time in unison. "What I've done?" they continued together.

"_SHUT UP!_" Everyone in the car turned to me. "Nobody move. I need to check the car for damage. Seth pop the hood up Summer get AAA on the phone."

"You said nobod…"

"Seth pop the hood up." I repeated through gritted teeth. He complied and I got out and inspected the damage.

The engine had stopped smoking and there weren't any leaks, but when I looked under the vehicle itself I found one very broken axle.

"Right." I said opening the driver's door. "Looks like we either camp here, walk or hitch hike."

* * *

We waited for an hour besides the side of the road in silence. Every time either Seth or Summer went to open their mouths either Marissa or I quickly silenced them with a glare. After the AAA had taken the Range Rover away we managed to get a truck to pick us up, unfortunately the truck was carrying chickens to Encinitas and already had two Mexicans in the front.

The driver took us to the nearest motel to the garage that the car had been taken too. It was cheap, nasty and didn't even know what a star looked one, let alone have one in any guide book. It was also the only one in the area.

"Ew." Summer sighed, kicking the door open, not wanting to touch it with her hand.

"It's not exactly the honeymoon suite." Seth conceded, as he walked in carrying her luggage.

"Well, it's only for one night. Until the axle's fixed." Marissa tried to spin it.

"Hey," I said dropping my bag on the floor, "I've stayed in worse."

"That's nothing to brag about." Summer told me before inspecting the only bed in the room. "Sweet," she smiled sarcastically as she picked up a hair from one of the pillows, "do we have to pay extra for the pubes ? This is so gross, I can not stay here."

"Well, unless you feel like hitchhiking again." I offered her.

"No thank you. I've had enough time in a truck full of chickens."

"Could have been worse, the truck could have been headed for McDonalds rather than KFC." I told her.

"Well, we're really lucky that guy stopped for us." Marissa sighed, rubbing her neck, ignoring me.

"Well, we'd be even luckier if Cole Trickle here hadn't driven us off the road." Summer spoke pointedly at Seth.

"Who the hell is Cole Trickle?" he frowned back at her.

"Tom cruise; Days of thunder?" she tried, shaking her head when he just looked blankly at her.

"I could really do with some KFC right now." I mumbled, sitting myself down on the very questionable sofa.

"Cause we haven't had enough chicken today?" Marissa looked at me.

"Hey," I smiled back, "you're speaking to me without me having to say something first." Her look quickly changed. "And I'm quiet." I raised my hands defensively.

"You," she pointed at me, "don't push it. You two," she spun round to face the others "just try and stay positive about this."

"Yeah, okay, I am positive that this is Summer's fault."

"I am positive that I am leaving this place with a rash." She told Marissa.

"So you're planning on making some extra money tonight?" Seth sneered at her, she simply glared back before walking into the en suit.

"Ew. This bathroom is so… ew…"

Seth collapsed on the bed with his head in his hands, clearly exasperated by all of Summer's complaining.

"I'm going to get some food." I sighed after quickly getting bored of Summer saying 'Ew' intermittently. "Coming?" I asked Marissa as I rose.

"Sure," she shrugged, "anything has to be better than these two, even you." She told me with a steadily lessening glare as she passed me.

I followed her to the vending machine, where she simply leant against one dispensing water bottles with her arms folded. I lit up a cigarette as I looked at the options in the other machine.

"Ding Dongs or Cheese Sticks?" I asked her as I dropped a couple of quarters in.

"I don't know, pick whatever." She said, her tone aggressive as she just stared out in front of her.

"I don't care either, so…" I finished my sentence by taking a drag from my cigarette.

"So I, guess we'll all just starve."

"Are you ever going to stop being mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you."

"Right." I sighed, continuing to smoke.

"Well, why would I be mad at you?" she asked me, turning to face me for the first time since we'd left the room.

"Because you walked in on me with another girl?" I offered.

"Actually, I think she was a woman. But why would I care about that?"

"I don't know. Shouldn't be a problem." I told her, flicking my cigarette butt over her head.

"There's no problem." She agreed, her tone remaining harsh.

"'Cept Ding Dongs or Cheese Sticks."

"I don't care, Alex." She looked at me exasterbated. "I don't care about Cheese Sticks, I don't care about Ding Dongs and I really don't care that I walked in on you with some girl, or woman, whatever."

"You know the only reason I was with her was because you didn't want to admit you had feelings for me."

"You think I had feelings for you?" she asked me, her arms once again folded across her chest.

"I think you did." I told her simply.

"Oh my god," she groaned, her hands raised, "you are impossible and you are arrogant. We'll just go to Mexico split up so we don't have to talk to each other ever again."

"Right now that sounds like the perfect plan." I muttered to the machine. We stood there in silence as the vending machine flashed the amount I'd dropped into it. "By the way," I said after a while, "you could've knocked first."

"Did you ever wonder why I went to the pool house to find you?"

"I've been thinking about nothing else." I told her, my face mere inches away from hers. "Well here's your chance." I took a step back and gestured for her to take the floor, "Clear the air. Tell me."

She opened her mouth, ready to snap back at me before she closed it again obviously having thought about what she was going to say. "Cheese Sticks, I hate Ding Dongs." She told me eventually.

We walked to back to the room, in silence, laden with Cheese Sticks and bottles of water, I kept steeling glances at her, watching her quickly move her eyes, confirming that she was doing the same. My key was in the lock when her cell went off, I continued through the door wanting to giver her some privacy, however, due to the thinness of the walls I still heard her half of the conversation as I set up the sofa bed.

She was crying when she came into the room. I was already on the fold out bed, trying not to disturb the already sleeping Seth and Summer, when she sad down next to me.

"I can sleep on the floor." I offered, as she tried to subtlety dry her eyes.

"No, it's okay." She laid down on the very edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry," I told her after a while of silence, "about your dad and your mom, I mean."

I moved so that I was laying besides her and simply watched her pretend to sleep. I wished so much that we hadn't messed around, with foolish and pointless bickering. I wished so much that the pair of us would have simply got over ourselves and talked to each other. Maybe if we had we could have been together. Maybe if we could I could have been able to comfort her.

* * *

When I woke up, I found that my arm was around her and that her body was pressed to mine. I didn't want to move my arm but nor did I want her to wake up and find it there. I slowly tried to retract my arm without disturbing her but as I retracted my arm she turned with it and showed me that she had been awake.

"Morning." I said quietly to her gentle smile. "What do you want to do?"

"How do you mean?" she asked me.

"I mean about Tijuana and your family?"

"I don't know." She sighed, slowly sitting up. "I'm going to take a shower." She said simply, getting off the bed and going to her things.

I just watched her, still in yesterday's clothes, rummage through her small amount of luggage for a towel and go into the tiny bathroom. I heard the lock go, the water start and I too got up and off the sofa bed. I chucked the pillows to the side and pushed the old thing away.

"Where's Coop?" Summer asked me, sitting down upon the sofa just as I'd put the cushions back upon it.

"She's showering." I told her, pushing Seth aside so I could get to the open door and light up.

"I just hope she's wearing shower shoes."

"I brought you some breakfast and the chariots are prepared out front. You ready to go?" Seth asked me passing me a cold cup of coffee.

"I'm not sure we're going." I told him, smelling it and throwing it into the nearby trash can.

"What?" Summer asked me, standing back up.

"Family stuff." I told her as I exhaled.

"Your family's all in jail, what stuff can there be?"

"Not mine, Sensitiva, Marissa's." I explained just as Marissa stepped out of the bathroom.

"What's going on?" Summer asked her, she looked at her face before sighing. "They're getting divorced." It wasn't a question, she already knew the answer; it was only going to be a matter of time anyway. "Baby, I'm so sorry." She told her, walking over to her and taking her into a hug. "Whatever you want to do, Coop. But if I may," she let go of her, "speaking as a child of divorce, you do not want to be home right now. And this is our last chance for freedom, we get back to Newport and it's all just school and reality. Let's go to TJ, have fun. Life will suck soon enough."

"She might, and it pains me to say it, actually be right." I agreed.

"There's got to be a first time for everything." We all turned to Seth, "Rage black outs, got it. I'll be in the car." He told us, picking up one of Summer's bags and walking past me to the car, which he'd parked just outside our room.

"Let's go to TJ." Marissa sort of half smiled.

* * *

The journey was made in silence, as we passed the last San Diego it actually hit me that I was going to leave the country for the first in my life. My mind was a mess of confusion between panicking about how to get past Boarder Control without a passport and then thinking about my conversation with Marissa last night. My thoughts were constantly being broken, however, with Summer constantly turning round to Marissa and asking her how she was doing.

We pulled up to the hostel after about two more hours in car. We got out with the luggage and checked in as Seth found a place to park the Range Rover.

I carried Summer's things up what seemed like at least a thousand steps before throwing myself down on the bed in the next room. The second I closed my eyes I heard a tentative knock on the door.

"Its open."

"Hey," I opened my eyes and found them looking at Marissa standing uncomfortably in the doorway.

"Hey." I sat up and watched as she sat down on the opposite bed.

"Did your parents get divorced?" she asked me.

"Err… I don't know." She looked across at me. "Well there's three options. The first that they never got married, which I think is the most probable, or Mom divorced my dad's sorry arse soon after sentencing, or she had a hell of a lot of affairs."

"What'd he get?"

"Five to ten."

"You ever see him?"

"Not since I was seven. Trey went a couple of times. Skived off school, went to see him without Mom's knowing. Dad was his role model. Guess that's why he got into steeling cars."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Not your fault."

"When you tell your mum you're gay?"

"When I had no choice." I told her quietly.

"How'd she take it?"

"Badly. I come from a family of red-necks. You know the type that Billy-Joel hates."

She dropped her head into her hands, "I don't know what I'm going to do."

"There's nothing you can do."

"I know," she said quietly lifting her head, "that's why I'm worried."

"Come on you two," Summer told us as she bounded into mine and Seth's room, "everybody is probably already at Boom Boom's!"

"Do we really want to join a load of people that consider us to be social rejects?" Seth asked walking in behind her.

"Okay, so not Boom Boom's but a club at least." Summer pleaded, more to Marissa than anyone else.

"Yeah. Sure." Marissa tried to smile back at her as she rose of the bed.

"Cool; just let me stop of at a pharmacy on the way." We all turned to question this request. "I promised my step mom that I would get her some pain killers – you can get like anything here without a prescription. She must have had all the ones they offer in Orange County."

"I'll get some antihistamines." Seth agreed following Summer out and back into the hall. "Allergies." I heard him explain to Summer as they waited for the elevator.

"I'm sorry."

"Now what for?" Marissa sighed as she straightened out her hair.

"I'm the reason you're not with your friends, your boyfriend."

"You're the reason for a lot of things Alex." She sighed following the others into the corridor.

* * *

We walked just a couple of streets to find a club that wouldn't be filled with a load of kids from Newport. It was amazing we got let in without a hint of an issue or a single one of us being carded. I didn't know what the drinking age was in Mexico and I don't think they cared. The staff just seemed all too happy to serve us, a thing I wasn't going to complain about for a second.

"I love authentic Mexican culture." Seth practically laughed at me after one of the bar maids, wearing little more than a bikini shot him tequila through a water pistol into his mouth.

"Doesn't suck." I smiled back at him after she'd done the same to me.

The club was packed with what seemed like frat boys from every college north of the boarder, it didn't look like there was a single Mexican in there or the town for that matter. It was like it had been built specially for American tourists.

I turned round and watched at Marissa simply stood there looking around the place, trying to just be with out having people either shove into her or hit on her.

"You know what?" she shouted in my ear. "I think I'm just going to go back to the hotel, I'm not really in the mood."

"That's fair." I shouted back. "I'll come with."

"No, no." she waved me off, "I'll grab Summer, you stay here with Seth, have a good time." She told me before making her way through the crowd.

"What was that about?" Seth asked me as I grabbed him on my way to the bar.

"Marissa's not really in the mood, she's going to go back." I explained as I gestured to the barman for two beers.

"Why didn't you go with her?" he asked me, leaning his elbows on the bar watching a group of girls dancing by us.

"She took Summer." I told him as I passed him a beer.

"You mean the Summer who's there?" he pointed over to her dancing with one of the college boys.

"Right." I nodded slowly. "I'll go look for her, check she's okay."

"We'll all go." He agreed putting his untouched beer down on the bar. He grabbed Summer from the boy and they followed me onto the street.

"Cohen! Cohen!" she struggled under his grip. "Thank you." She glared at him once he'd finally let go.

"Marissa's gone." I told her, looking round the busy street for her.

"I'll go check the hotel." She told me quickly before heading off.

"I'll check the streets." I told Seth before walking off in the other direction, just to have him run after me. "It will be easier if we split up."

"It would be," he nodded, "if you spoke Spanish."

"Look around," I gestured at the crowd surrounding us, "I don't think I have to."

"True." He nodded again. "But you don't have a cell, you could look for her for hours and she could be at the hotel room."

"Whatever." I wasn't really paying attention, just scanning the crowd for her face.

"Hold that thought." He told me as his phone started ringing. "You did?" he put his hand over the mouth piece, "She's at the hotel." He relayed before putting the phone back to his ear. "Okay."

"What did you 'okay'?" I asked him as he slipped the cell back into his pocket.

"We're going to the hotel room." He told me. "I'll follow you." He said as I practically ran back the way we'd come.

I pulled open the door to the hotel just as Summer was pushing it.

"Where is she?" I asked her, trying to make my way past her into the tiny lobby.

"Bad news," she pulled me back out and onto the street. "she's gone."

"How could you lose her in a hotel room?" I snapped at her.

"That's the issue." She rolled her eyes at me. "She took my step-mom's painkillers." I opened and closed my mouth several times and I heard Seth doing the same besides me. "Should we split up?"

"No." I told her simply once more fighting my way through the busy Mexican street.

The night was hot and the streets sticky. We searched the packed bars, the clubs, the streets all to no avail, all we found were drunk teenagers and scarier drunk Mexicans. The crowd was so large that she could have been just five people away and yet we wouldn't have seen her.

I couldn't believe what she'd done. I was terrified for her. I knew why she'd done it – scared and searching for answers that she wasn't able to find, but I wanted, I had to find her in time to stop her.

God knows how long we were on the packed streets of Tijuana. Minutes seemed like hours and an hour seemed to last eternity. She was missing. She was lost. She had stolen enough painkillers to take down a small elephant. She was dead for all we knew.

She was in an ally. I turned the corner and found her lifeless body tangled amongst all kinds of crap at the bottom of an ally.

I ran too her, knowing that she wasn't simply just passed out, there was something more to it. I'd seen my mom passed out, I'd seen her passed out. She wasn't passed out.

"Marissa." I screamed at her trying to find signs of life. I rolled her over and felt for a pulse. It was there, it was weak, but it was there. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know CPR, I didn't know what to do if she just stopped breathing. I did the only thing I could think of; I tried to scooped her up to carry her to the taxi that Seth had called over.

I couldn't do it. I felt powerless and useless.

"SETH!" I screamed at him to come over and help me.

Together we carried her to the taxi that was with Summer and Seth at the end of the ally and prayed that she was okay.

* * *

R&R, thank you. Circus.


	8. The Rescue

**The Rescue**

"I have three sesame and one plain." Kirsten motioned to the bagels in front of her.

Kirsten was the only one that had really spoken since we'd got back. Seth had called her from the hospital, he'd explained to her what had happened as I sat by Marissa's beside, holding her hand willing her to wake up. After that not much had been said. Julie had us leave once she'd arrived, despite Jimmy's protests. Since then we'd just sat up in the kitchen, drinking coffee waiting for news.

I hadn't let go of my cell since I left her room. As we sat in the kitchen I stared down at it on the counter in front of me waiting for it to ring, waiting for it to give me some news.

"Look we're not gonna hear from the hospital for a while, why don't you guys get showered and dressed, and you," she looked at me, "can't be late for your meeting with the dean."

"I'll take them to school." Sandy told her.

"You can't be late for your first day." She told him.

Nobody moved however. Seth simply stared down at his hands, I watched my phone and Sandy just sipped from his coffee.

"Well if we're not gonna eat lets – lets just, let's just go." Kirsten sighed, grabbing her coffee and heading out of the room.

Seth and I got up and crossed paths, trying to get to our rooms, when the phone rang. I looked around the room, everyone looked as worried as I felt. Kirsten answered it, barely said a word and hung up.

"She's awake." She told us. I looked up at her, my eyes pleading to her. "Come on."

* * *

None of us said much more in the car. The radio started up when Sandy fired up the engine, but Kirsten promptly turned it off. I was holding my cell in both hands, willing her to text me for her to tell me that everything was okay. I don't know why I was so sure she would text me though, given that she'd never text me before. I just needed her to let me know she was okay.

I watched the scenery go by without seeing any of it. All I could see was her lying in that Mexican ally, alone and unconscious. All I could see with her.

I barely waited for the car to stop before leaping out of it and running back to her. I found Jimmy beside her, quietly stroking her hair as she slept. Quietly. Quiet. Yet more noiseless waiting.

I walked round the bed and occupied the chair opposite him and took hold of her hand once more.

"Hey." Sandy was barely audible yet Jimmy and I both jumped at the sound.

"Hey," Jimmy smiled sadly back at him, standing up to take his hand, "she, uh, she just fell back to sleep but she was awake and, uh, aware. Thanks for calling the hospital," he turned to me and spoke to me for the first time since coming home, "finding her if they hadn't airlifted her out she, uh…"

"When can she go home?" Sandy asked him, causing him to turn back round to the doorway.

"Uh, they said in a – in a day or so, they want to keep her under observation."

"That's hospital policy." Kirsten told him, holding Seth's hand something I'd never seen her do before.

"So I guess there's no need to worry, right?" Julie sighed out as she passed the Cohen's into the small room, "I mean a teenage girl palms a dozen pain killers and washes it down with tequila… its perfectly normal right?" She sat down her cheap cup of coffee before turning round to face them, her arms folded tightly across her chest. "What are you doing here?"

"I called them." Jimmy explained, his hands dough deep into his pants pockets.

"What Marissa needs right now is to be with her family. No visitors." I didn't need to look up at her to know how she was looking at when she said that.

"Well let's go…" Sandy said awkwardly, "we should go."

"If you need anything." Kirsten offered Jimmy, taking his hand in both of hers.

"Thanks." He smiled glumly at her.

"Come on, Alex." Kirsten eased, moving round the bed to stir me out of the chair, just as she had done just a few hours earlier.

I looked up at her, begging her to let me stay with my eyes, she simply stirred me harder. Reluctantly I got up. Reluctantly I let go of her hand once more as she lead me through the room and back out into the hall. The door was closed behind us.

"Don't take it personally. Julie's just been through… every parents nightmare." Sandy told me as we walked down the corridor.

Kirsten was still guiding me, an arm around my waist. Out of comfort. Out of fear that I would try and go back to her.

"I'm sure she'll apologise." She told me, squeezing me tighter as she said that.

"You are?" Sandy looked at her surprised, "Its Julie Cooper we're talking about."

"Excuse me, Alex," we all turned round, all surprised to hear her voice calling out to me, "can I talk to you for a sec?" Kirsten reluctantly took back her arm, letting me go talk to Julie. "I don't know what happened in Mexico, but here's what I do know. Since you showed up Marissa's been a wreck, comes home crying, doesn't want to go to her own cotillion, having problems with her boyfriend." Julie stopped, the malice she felt towards me showing through both her tone and the fire behind her pale eyes. "And now you can add another shining accomplishment to your list of achievements. In addition to stealing cars, burning down houses… You've almost killed my daughter."

"I would never do anything to hurt Marissa." Those were the first words I'd spoken since I'd called out to Seth.

"Well you're not going to get the chance because you're never going to see her again, you even try and I'll make sure you're thrown back in Juvie where you belong."

She walked back into Marissa's room, just leaving me there in the hall with her words ringing through my head. I felt Kirsten's arm come back around my waist as she led me back towards the car.

* * *

The Cohen's talked around me, to me, once we were back in the car. Talking about Marissa, what would happen, what could happen, what could have happened. I simply sat staring out the window. The conversation changed, though I remained outside of it. They started talking about the school, placement essays, classes, respectability. I simply cupped my phone in my hands waiting for her to contact me. Let me know she was okay; I still had no idea.

"Seth, why don't you show Alex around?" Kirsten offered as we stepped out of the car.

I looked up at the building in front of me, it was more like a country club than a school, a thought that did not dissipate as I followed Seth through the grounds.

"Hey," he said after a while of me just nodding to his ramblings, "you're even more quiet than usual."

"Marissa just took an overdose. One of the last things she said to me was 'You're the reason for a lot of things', Julie's blaming and you know what? I think she's right." I smiled, almost sickly, at him as I pulled out my cigarettes and lit up.

Before I could even exhale he'd snatched the stick away from me, dropped it and extinguished it with his toe. "There's no smoking here."

"What kind of school is this?"

"A good one." He half smiled leaning against the fence looking up at the sky. "Its not your fault." He said eventually.

"I know," I sighed, shaking my head as I did, "but, I feel so powerless."

"And blaming yourself is going to fix that?"

"No but-"

"Lets get some coffee." He said walking towards one of the buildings.

"Where from?" I asked, jogging gently to catch up.

"The Common Room, where else?"

"You have coffee machine? You have a Common Room?" I added as an after thought.

"No," he frowned as he held open the door for me, "we have a dude that serves us coffee, kind of like Starbucks." He pointed at the man behind the counter, that was indeed very Starbucks esque. "Can I assume you didn't?"

"We had metal detectors and security guards." I shrugged at him. "Oh and a vending machine, but that was put out of order within its first week."

"Odd." He shook his head as he walked up to the counter, coming back a few moments later with two cups of coffee. "I have to go and actually register for classes. The dean's office is over in the next building, think you can find it?" He asked me as he passed me my cup.

"If not I'm sure it will be signposted."

"You didn't have signposts?"

"No." I said simply, walking back the way we'd come.

I found Kirsten outside the building, sitting in the sun, fiddling about with her PDA.

"Hey."

"Hey," she smiled up at me, "how you doing?"

"Better." I nodded at her, joining her on the bench. "More caffeinated anyway."

"Well you're speaking again, so that's a plus." She smiled gently at me.

"I'm just very overwhelmed." I sighed, throwing my coffee cup into the trash before dropping my head into my hands. "When I got out of jail again, I didn't think my life could get anymore crazy. And yet Marissa's in hospital and… Can't I just go to public school?"

"Everything's gonna be fine." She reassured me.

"Its just, it's you know, at Hills you sort of showed up, no essays, interviews, tests…" I told her, looking up from my hands, "hell, half the time I didn't even show up. And here I can't even smoke."

"Alex, the Harbour school is one of the best private prep schools in the country; if you graduate from here you can get into any college in the UC system, maybe even an Ivy League."

"I don't really think I'm an Ivy League kind of girl."

"After a year or two here you will be." She told me, giving my knee a small squeeze.

"College huh?"

"Yeah." She smiled back at me before a shadow was cast over us. "What'd you get?" She asked Seth.

"Uh, AP history English calculus and physics and French four, good thing I don't have a life," he turned his attention to me, "what is wrong?" I looked at him. "Stupid question." He shook his head as if re-thinking that one. "Are you nervous?"

"Seth would you please tell Alex that Dr Kim is very nice."

"Oh yeah, she is sweet!"

"Sweet?" I questioned.

He opened his mouth to reply but shut it again when he saw the door opening. An Asian woman, wearing a tight, fitted suit walked out and instantly held her hand out to meet Kirsten's.

"Kirsten, how are you?" she asked.

"Hi, nice to see you." Kirsten smiled back at the woman.

"Good to see you." She looked over at Seth, standing awkwardly between us, "Seth always interesting to see you. And you must be Alex, why don't we step into my office." I handed Seth my cell before following Kirsten and Dr Kim into the building.

She indicated for Kirsten and I to sit at a conference type table rather than in front of her desk, she joined us a second later carrying my permanent record with her. She sat down opposite and opened up my file.

"Weak grades, truancy," she said after a while, "notation regarding some criminal activity."

"It was a misdemeanour, probation." Kirsten interjected quickly.

"None the less, not exactly Harbour school material."

"Dr Kim, Alex's had a lot to overcome, but Sandy and I feel that in the right environment she could really excel."

"There's no doubt that Miss Atwood has extraordinary promise. I'm just concerned that she hasn't had, adequate preparation for the rigors of our curriculum."

"Or are you concerned about the pressure from parents who don't want Alex here."

Dr Kim shot her head up from my record, surprised as to what Kirsten had just said she opened and closed her mouth several times before replying: "That's definitely a consideration, but not a decisive one," I looked over at Kirsten and watched her roll her eyes, "Kirsten you know as well as I do how bright and motivated our students are. Those that aren't bred for USC go off to Harvard and Yale. I just think a place like Newport Union might be a better fit for a student with Alex's background."

"My background?" I frowned at her, "Wouldn't you rather phrase it 'white trash'?"

"Alex," Dr Kim leant her arms on the table, "you understand that if you did fail you would lose a year, not to mention self confidence."

"I've been arrested twice for crimes I never committed," I mirrored her actions and leant in closer to her, "I've been abandoned twice by my mother now; I think my self confidence can handle this one."

"You got great test scores. I definitely responded to your personal essay. Your grades are… borderline… but acceptable. If you could pass a placement exam… It's not an aptitude test, it measures your preparedness, what you've learnt not how bright you are."

"I will bring my very own Number Two pencil."

"Very well, we will give you some time to prepare, and we shall start the placement exam at 2pm this afternoon."

"Thank you very much Dr Kim." Kirsten shook her hand and led me out of her office. I followed Kirsten back out of the building. "I love it," she sighed, shaking her head at me, "you barely say anything all day and when you do its to be cheeky to the Dean of Admissions."

"I thought of it more of as charming." I told her, holding open the door for her.

"How'd it go?" Seth asked, handing me back my cell.

"Placement exam." I told him, not looking up from my phone as I checked for texts.

"They're always fun!" He deadpanned.

* * *

I sat in my room, my arse on the floor, back against the edge of my bed surrounded by old papers of Seth's.

"It's a good thing I never through anything away." He smiled down at me from one of my chairs. I simply nodded back at him as I tried to make sense of his answers and furthermore his handwriting.

"Gah!" I threw down the paper I was holding, "This is senseless."

"Too hard?"

"No, its your answers." I got up and showed him his paper, "how you got into that school without the use of grammar I will never understand."

"What's wrong with my answers?" He snatched the paper away from me.

"Apart from the answer being wrong and your hand writing being illegible, you mean?" He shot me an evil glare. "Well," I leant over and pointed over shoulder, "World War Two ended May 8th 1945, it was World War One that ended November 11th. However, that's just the Europe date-" he held up his hand to silence me.

"I get the picture," he sighed placing his paper one the table next to him. "So you're going to do fine?"

"Well if they let you in." I smiled at him.

"How do you know so much, you never went to school."

"I read a lot." I shrugged at him.

"Like Will Hunting?"

"Nothing," I pointed at him, "like Will Hunting."

"Whoa!" he raised his hands defensively. "Didn't know that was going to cause such offence." He laughed.

"Hmmm." I looked at him sceptically as my cell started to vibrate on the floor amongst all his papers, I grabbed it and answered it as I flung myself upon my bed. "Hello?"

"_Hey_." I instantly stood up again. "_Alex its my mom…_" I could hear she was close to tears,

"What is it Marissa?"

"_She won't let Dad see me anymore. She's gone back home for a bit. Please come over Alex. I need you._"

"Alright, um okay I'll be there, bye." I hung up, stuffed my cell in my back pocket and headed for the door. "Marissa's upset, something with her parents, and her moms going home for a little while so-"

"What about the test?" Seth asked me, I simply looked at him. "Yeah, you'll do fine."

"See you later." I smiled at him as I practically ran through the yard to my bike.

* * *

On my way I stopped off at a gas station and picked her up a small bunch of flowers. I threw a five at the man before jumping back on my bike. I chained it to the hospital sign before running up the six flights of stairs to her room.

"Hey." I said breathlessly as I entered her room.

"Smoking will kill you, you know." She smiled at me. "And I should know."

"I thought the role of supplying inappropriate humour was mine… Or maybe Seth's." I added as an after thought. "These are for you by the way." I passed her the small bunch of dying tulips. "Gas station." I explained as she looked at them.

"It's the thought that cou-"

"I really don't think it does with these." I sighed taking them back and dropping them in the trash can next to her bed. "Saves your mom the trouble." I smiled at her, sitting down next to her. "So…" I shrugged, "how you been?"

"Had my stomach pumped, you?"

"Been told that because I'm poor I shouldn't got to Harbour." I nodded back at her.

"I didn't want to kill myself…" she said after a while. "I didn't… I just wanted to… escape."

"I… I…"

"Who knew it would take me chasing pills with tequila to get you to stutter." She smiled at me.

"If this was your way of getting me back for the way I acted I could possibly have recommended less life threatening ones." I smiled back at her.

"Excuse me nurse," I looked between Marissa and the door, "when you get a chance lunch please."

"You should…" she pointed towards the en suit and I'd just pulled the door to when Julie moved to where I had been standing.

"Ooh, sweetie you're awake. How are you feeling? Your sister sends her love."

"Throat hurts." Marissa told her, stroking the base of it as she did so.

"It's because they had to pump your stomach honey," I watched as she moved a strand of Marissa's hair before her attention was caught by something in the garbage. "Where did those come from?" She asked Marissa, ducking down to bring out the flowers.

"Just that Chino kid." Marissa shrugged. "Can you put them back in the trash please?"

"With pleasure." Julie said, dropping the tulips back down. "I mean the nerve of her-"

"She's not the reason for… I mean, why I took the pills."

"No just the reason for everything else." I sat down on the toilet seat, that was the second time in two days that had been said about me. "You know ever since that girl's got here," I looked up and saw her shaking her head, "I mean, you used to be happy."

"You think I was happy?"

"Well if you weren't you never told me about it."

"I tried! But y-"

"I need to talk to the nurse," she cut in, "the security in here is appalling." And just like that I watched her walk out of the room again, I waited for the door to close behind her before stepping out of the tiny bathroom.

"And there was me thinking I was out of the dog house." I sighed, digging my hands deep into my pockets.

"You are." She leaned forward and tried to reach for my hand. "I just… with my mom and all."

"I know." I half smiled at her. "You know, I really am sorry about… well, everything. I treated you app-"

"Look no one likes a death bed apology." I looked at her. "I was trying more of that inappropriate humour you love so much." She tried to smile at me.

"Like I said mine and Seth's thing. Anyway," I looked at my watch, "I have to go take a placement exam if I'm going to make it into rich society. I'll come by later?"

"I'd like that," She smiled at me, "but with my mom-"

"I can take her. I mean," I shrugged, "if it comes to a fist fight, I grew up in Chino!"

"I don't know, she's from Riverside."

"Oh, I may have to rethink this." I laughed at her. "I'll see you later."

* * *

I was back on my bed and looking over Seth's notes when Kirsten knocked gently on the open door.

"Hey," she smiled at me, throwing me a Red Bull, "Seth's notes helping?"

"If I had a red pen." I smiled at her. "Can I assume that this is a 'ThunderCats are go!' situation?" she frowned at me. "Is it test time?" I rephrased.

"I swear you weren't this weird when you first got here. But, yes," she nodded before pointing to the can in my hand, "hence, the Red Bull."

"There's nothing more fun than a placement exam after staying up all night." I forced a smile as I rose from my bed.

"When we get back, we're talking about that shock trip to Tijuana you know that right?" She told me as she shut the door behind us.

"Was expecting it earlier." I told her, fishing for my cigarettes.

"You still not stopped?" she asked me as I popped a stick in my mouth.

"I was going to talk to you about that," I smiled as I lit up, "why are you sending me to a school where I'm not allowed to smoke?"

"You could smoke at your old school?" she asked me, unlocking the Range Rover.

"No," I conceded, smoking quicker to not waste the cigarette before having to get into the car, "but the teachers didn't really try to stop us."

"You're right, we should be trying for public school, you're never going to make it at Harbour. Come on." She said, starting up the engine.

"Wait I still have to take the test? But the whole 'never going to make it' speal."

"Oh yeah," she smiled at me, "you're going." I tossed half of my cigarette into the bushes and ran round and jumped in beside her. "We're going to need another gardener if you're not going to quit."

"You know, if you want to cut costs you could send me to U-"

"You're going." She laughed as she started off down the drive.

* * *

I knocked on Dr Kim's office door and waited for her to call out before I walked in. I had R.E.M.'s 'Bad Day' running through my head for some reason, walking in and seeing Dr Kim staring me down like some sort of oddly well dressed Asian James Bond villain knocked my confidence right out of me.

"I'm, uh, here for the test."

"Great. Well I hope you prepared well Alex." She said as she lead me into an empty class room.

"Well, I thought I was." I replied under my breath.

"What was that?"

"Uh, yeah!"

"Great." She pulled out a chair for me and motioned for me to sit down. She placed a test paper face down in front of me. "You have one and a half hours. I've got to pop out to my office for a moment but I will be back to check up on you. Good luck." She told me, backing out of the door and shutting it behind her.

I flipped it over and read over the questions. They covered everything from American History through to Spanish.

"Great." I sighed. I crossed out the Spanish section and explained that I couldn't answer those questions, in French. Given the large amount of Hispanic students back at Hills, they didn't really see the need to teach it.

I was half way through my answer about the causes for the Civil War when Seth leaned over my shoulder.

"Dude, is that French?"

"Yeah. And what the fuck are you doing here?"

"Marissa called." Summer said leaning over my over shoulder. "How do you know all this?"

"I know its weird huh?" Seth agreed, "She never went to school in Chino."

"Like Will Hunting?"

"Guys?!" I interjected them. "Marissa?"

"Oh yeah," Seth said, as if he'd forgotten about the reason he'd barged in on my test.

"Her mom's gone psycho, she's having her committed." Summer finished for him.

I stood up quickly just as Dr Kim walked into the room. "What is going on here?" she asked, her arms folded.

"Hi Dr Kim, this is not what it looks like but there's kind of an emergency." Seth tried to cool her mood.

"Yeah we just need to borrow Alex for a little while."

"We're gonna bring her back." Seth finished over Summer.

"Alex is not going anywhere." Dr Kim told them both.

"Okay, but there's kind of an emergency-" Seth tried again.

"You don't understand-" Summer took over for him.

"You two out, out now, goodbye, goodbye." She said pushing them out the door and closing it behind them.

"Actually I got to go too."

"Have you finished the test?"

"No but I-"

"Alex if this is to difficult tell me, if the Cohen's are pressuring you to go to this school-"

"Its not too difficult, well the Spanish part… but they're not and I do… just not right now." I stumbled as I tried to get to the door.

"Just sit down finish the test."

"I can't."

"Alex if this is the level of commitment you plan to bring to your studies here at the Harbour school-"

"Dr Kim I really don't have time to argue with you right now so I'll guess I'll just have to see you at varsity." I smiled at her before I slammed the door behind me and ran to meet Seth and Summer out on the yard.

* * *

Summer drove to the hospital like my brother when he was running from the cops, I was so relieved when we actually made it to the hospital in one piece, I was convinced we were going to be entering via the E.R Once she'd dragged us both past reception she instructed Seth not to move and me to follow her. She took me to the toilets and presented me with a Candy Striper outfit.

"Oh Seth's going to love this." I sighed, walking to the cubical beside hers. I changed hurriedly, stuffed my clothes behind the toilet and met Summer, who was fixing her dress, in front of the mirrors. "You know I haven't been in a dress this short, since it would have fitted me perfectly." I told her redoing my hair.

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

"Just follow my lead." She told me, holding open the door for me to go back to Seth.

"Oh dear God." Seth laughed, "I don't know which is funnier, you in a dress," he smiled at me, "or the new found knowledge that you're a Candy Striper." He laughed at Summer.

"What? I told you I was a Candy Striper." She told him, grabbing an abandoned book trolley and pushing it towards the elevator.

"I thought you were kidding." He said, still trying to stifle his laughter.

"It's for charity, all the girls do it."

"I should be hospitalised more, I-"

"Well if you need any help!" she smiled at him, stepping into the lift.

"Ok guys," I turned Summer, "can you get us onto the Psych ward or not?"

"Just try to keep up with me, oh and you'll have to put this on." She told me, stepping out of the elevator on the third flood, "Hi Gloria," she smiled at the woman behind the desk of the nurses' station, "I know it's my day off but I just cannot get enough of sick people and I thought I'd help the new girl out," she pointed back at me and Seth, "and this guy is gonna help us with the sponge baths."

"Hmm, dibs on that guy!" Seth pointed at one of the old men pushing an I.V drip around.

We followed Summer to Marissa's room, she pushed me in whilst she and Seth kept watch outside.

"Good Lord." Marissa said staring at me in my new outfit.

"That seems to be the sentiment of the day."

"And you're wearing it because?" she asked continuing to stare at the dress.

"We're busting you out of here."

"And the dress?" she laughed

"Summer's plan."

She opened her mouth to say something more but then we heard Julie outside and I headed back into the en suit.

"So we have agreed to send you to San Diego. I know this may be difficult for you to hear but Dr Bourke and I think it's for the best." I heard Julie tell her through the door.

"Well what about Dad?"

"Well he just wants what's best for you to sweetie. Now Dr Bourke and I have to finish some paperwork so you should get dressed okay." There was a pause, "I'm glad you're taking this so well Marissa."

"Yeah well, if it's for the best right."

"Mm, I love you honey," there was another pause, "Okay, get dressed I'll be back."

"Bye." I came out of the bathroom just as Marissa was getting out of her bed with a huge smile on her face "How'd I do?"

"You almost had me convinced! Here…" I handed her a bag, and she pulled out another Candy Striper dress. "As I said it's uh, its Summers idea, it's for uh, for cover."

"Sure," she smirked at me, "Summers idea." She smiled at me and I turned round to give her some privacy, but couldn't help but to look over my shoulder. "Hey! No peeking." She laughed at me pulling the dress over her head.

"Are you ready?" I asked before turning back round.

"Yeah." She got up off the bed as I went to open the door and check the coast was clear.

"Ah hey your mum and the doctor are on the move." Seth warned us poking his head round the door.

"Stairs?" I asked them.

"I've been lying down for like over 24hours, I could do with the exercise." She nodded, following me and Seth down to the end of the hall. We grabbed Summer on our way past and ran down the stairs to her car.

"Where we going?" She asked us as we piled in.

"My house." Marissa said simply, "If we're running away I think I need to where something a little more inconspicuous."

* * *

The drive back to the community was not fun, Seth and Summer kept quizzing me on my general knowledge trying to figure out why I knew so much, apparently my explanation of 'Just read a lot' wasn't good enough to them. When we pulled into Marissa's drive Marissa, Summer and I jumped out to get changed whilst Seth rummaged around Julie's dresser trying to find out the address of Jimmy's new place.

Once we were all back in the car Summer sped off out of the gated community and towards the smaller houses.

* * *

"So this is my dad's house." Marissa smiled half heartily as she pushed open Jimmy's back door. "Just as well he hasn't got out of the habit of hiding a key under the mat." She sighed pocketing it.

I flipped on the lights, the main room was still half painted, but furnished. I sat down on the couch with Seth, whilst Marissa dug her hands into her pockets and paced nervously.

"Coop, you're wearing a hole in the carpet."

"And seeing as your dad only just got it." Seth finished for Summer.

"Sorry." She said sheepishly sitting on the futon.

"So," I clapped, "who's up for a nice game of Kerplunk?" Everyone just looked at me, "Or we could just sit here and twiddle our thumbs."

"Don't tell me that would have been funny in Chino?" Summer frowned at me.

"It went down better certainly." I sighed, sliding down further into my seat though I shot back up again when I head the key turn in the lock. "Maybe you dad will-"

"Alex shush." Marissa said quietly as she rose to meet her dad.

"What, what are you doing here?" He asked, frowning at the four of us in his living room.

"I, uh, I checked out." Marissa said walking over to him.

"Does your mother know about this?"

"We're gonna wait in the car." I told them leaping up.

"Yeah." Seth and Summer agreed, following me out of the apartment.

"So," Summer spun round and smiled at me, "you like Coop, huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said simply, leaning against her convertible and lighting up.

"Are you ever not smoking?" Seth asked me, climbing into the back seat.

"Well House says it makes me look 30 percent cooler."

"Who?" Seth frowned at me.

"Dr Gregory House, god Cohen don't you know anything?"

"You like House?" I frowned at Summer.

"I like Hugh Laurie anyway." She shrugged.

"And there was me thinking you would be more of a Cameron girl." I smiled back at her.

"Why would Summer be into Cameron?" Marissa frowned at me stepping past me to get into the back with Seth. We all just looked at her whilst she buckled up. "You two going to get in or what?" she asked Summer and I, "My dad's going to be out any second."

"And we're running again." I laughed at Summer, climbing over the driver's seat into mine.

"Where to, Coop?"

"Anywhere." She replied simply as Summer sped off.

* * *

"What'd you want to do now Coop?" Summer asked taking a bite of her slice of pizza as we walked along the peer.

"I don't know what to do, I mean what can I do?"

"We could hide you in one of my mum's developments," Seth suggested.

"Cause that worked out so well the last time." She sighed.

"It was a joke." He muttered into his pizza.

"How is any of this even possible?" Marissa asked us, clearly exasperated from everything the past 26 hours had thrown at her, "My mom wants to lock me up in rehab while my dad can't even do anything about it!"

"Well, we'll figure something out." I tried to reassure.

"We better hurry cause she just escaped from a Psych ward wearing a Candy Striper outfit, if they didn't think she was crazy before they…" she stopped realising what she'd just said. "Sorry Coop. I'm gonna go get another slice." She said quickly, walking back up the peer.

"As will I." Seth told us before running to catch up with her.

"You know, the model home plan isn't the worst in the world, I mean Luke-"

"You're spending too much time with Seth."

"It's a theory." I tried to smile at her. "Look," I said slowly and quietly after a while of silence between us, "if your mom's doing all this just to keep me away from you I, I'll stay away."

"I don't want that." She smiled at me to which I smiled back.

"So what're we gonna do?"

"If I could just get her to listen." She sighed, leaning against the edge of the peer.

"Hold that thought." I smiled at her, pulling out my cell from my back pocket and dialled Sandy's number.

"Who are you cal-"

I put my finger to her lip to silence her.

"_Hello?_"

"Hey it's Alex."

"_Hey, what's going on?_"

"Uh I'm with Marissa and I need your advice. We need to get Julie to let Marissa live with her dad."

"_Well if I've learned anything today... you don't want to go to court with this, your going to want to settle. Come over here and lets see if we can't sort something out._"

* * *

I waited in the kitchen for Julie to arrive.

"Why don't you sit down kid?" Sandy suggested, tired of watching me pace up and down the small space.

"Right, sitting." I nodded at him pulling out one of the breakfast bar's stalls. However, as soon as the door bell rang I was back on my feet.

"Who knew that Julie Cooper could make you so nervous." Sandy laughed at me as he headed out to let her in.

"What is going on?" I heard Julie ask Sandy angrily.

"Come with me." He responded simply.

"I don't understand what does this have to do with Marissa, do you know where she…" she stopped when she saw me. "Well no surprise you're involved in all this, where is she?"

"I don't know, at a bus station," I shrugged, "on a tropical island somewhere."

"Alex." Sandy warned.

"I cannot believe that you're chaperoning this farce." Julie snapped at Sandy.

"Julie, sit down." He offered her the stall I'd chosen to ignore.

"No I don't want to sit down."

"Alright, lets all talk." Sandy sighed, tiring of her tone.

"Talk about what-what is there to talk about?"

"Well if you ever want to see your daughter again." I shrugged again.

"Watch it!" he said to me before turning his attention back to Julie "Julie I-I-I know you've been through a lot but-but Alex isn't the problem."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she turned to me again. "You tell me where she is and them I am taking her home, she just ran away from a hospital."

"She ran away from you!" I told her in a tone not dissimilar from hers. "Look your from Riverside, right? Well that's not to far from where I grew up-"

"I am calling the police in, like, two seconds." She cut in her arms folded tightly across her chest.

"AND I know this place has everything we never had and I know your afraid your gonna lose it all, everything you've ever wanted."

"I'm done!" she said turning away.

"But what you want, and what your daughter wants are two different things." I called after her.

"YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS." She snapped at me as she spun back round.

"I KNOW WHAT SHE DOESNT WANT." I slammed my hands down on the counter in front of me, before trying to lose the anger from my voice. "She doesn't want to go to San Diego," I saw Marissa appear behind her mother, "and she doesn't want to live with you."

"I don't know what I'm suppose to say to any of this…"

"Just say yes." Marissa said from the doorway.

"Oh honey, no-no you don't mean that." Julie said, spinning round to hold her daughter.

"Yes, I do," Marissa sighed, freeing herself from her mother's arms, "look I know you're only trying to help, you're just making everything worse."

Julie started to cry and went to hug Marissa. "You have no idea how scared I was."

"I'm sorry…" She said, taking a step back, "but look I'm okay, and it was an accident, I'll even still see a therapist if I must, but I want to do it here… and I want to live with Dad… I mean, at least for now."

Julie looked between us all, Sandy in the corner, me behind the counter and Marissa's pleading eyes. I watched as she opened her mouth, fire flashing behind her eyes, she shook her head before pointing to her daughter: "This isn't over Marissa. I'll show myself out." She told Sandy and I as she walked back through the house.

Marissa walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me, before kissing me on the cheek. "Can I have a word please?" I simply nodded and followed her into the next room.

I sat down on an arm of one of the sofas, I opened my mouth to ask her how she was feeling but was instantly stopped when her hands were either side of my head and pulling my face towards hers. She took my lower lip between hers and kissed me softly.

"Yes." She smiled at me, once she'd let me go.

"I'm sorry?" I frowned back at her.

"I'm ready to deal with the fact that I might just like you," she smiled at me, "and I'm saying 'yes.'"

* * *

Next up: The Heights... (just so you know there is more to come!)

R&R, thank you. Circus.


	9. The Perfect Couple part one

Slight R'ishness in this post folks. Just to warn you, nothing explicit just a whole bunch of references to sex of the lesbian kind.**

* * *

**

**The Perfect Couple - part one**

I walked onto campus my map and my schedule side by side trying to work out where my classes were.

"It's the master race." Seth muttered at me as we walked past a group of cheerleaders.

"Uh huh." I agreed not really listening. "I cannot work out where I'm meant to be going." I handed my timetable to him. "I cannot find this room anywhere on the map."

"Its right there." He told me, pointing to the room on the map, handing back my schedule. "I cannot believe you're taking math with the twelfth graders. You're like Cady Heron." He smiled at me.

"Who?"

"Cady Heron, Mean Girls?"

"Are you serious?" I looked at him.

"No." he said quickly. "I haven't seen Mean Girls."

"You're such a loser." I sighed as I walked over to Marissa and Summer. "Hey." I smiled at her. "What you up to tonight?"

"I'm babysitting the Step-monster make sure she doesn't pop too many pills whilst Dad's out of to-" Summer suddenly stopped talking when she noticed us all looking at her. "Oh you were talking to Marissa."

"So tonight?" I asked Marissa, ignoring Summer.

"I have this Kick Off Carinval thing to organise… but I have been looking for a reason to get out of it." She smiled at me.

"Considering that no one ever actually wants to do extracurricular activities, I'm happy to be your reason." I smiled back at her. "So I'll meet you out front at four?"

"Yeah, that will be cool."

"Okay well I have to try and find my way to homeroom, I'll see you later." I went to kiss her on the cheek when I suddenly found her hands on my chest pushing me back.

"Alex what the hell are you doing?" Marissa hissed at me.

"What?" I frowned at her, "Summer doesn't mind."

"Come on Coop, it was kind of obvious." Summer shrugged at her.

"You hadn't told her?!" I asked her in disbelief.

"No, and I haven't told the rest of campus either. I'm starting this year being 'the girl that committed suicide in Tijuana' I don't need to be a dyke too."

"No that's cool," I forced a smile at her, "I just think its funny that you wait 'til after you move out of the gated community to emulate your mother." I snapped before walking into the main building.

"Its not even nine o'clock and already there's drama between you two?" Seth called after me, but to no avail.

I was pissed, I wasn't going to stop and he knew it. I followed the signs to my homeroom and slumped myself down in the only free chair, dropping my back noisily besides me.

"Wow, you are even less cheery then you were the first time I met you." A blonde smiled at me.

"I'm sorry?" I frowned at her.

"Its Anna," she smiled holding out her hand, "we met at cotillion."

"Oh yeah," I smiled back as I shook her hand, "I'm not very good with names or faces for that matter. You're Seth's friend right?"

"Yeah, but I don't think he knows I'm back."

"Well given the amount he's been talking about Summer, I don't think so either."

She rolled her eyes, "Yes, I can see why he's attracted to a self absorbed rich little Daddy's girl."

"Uh," I pointed round the classroom, "in case you hadn't noticed this is private school and you were at cotillion, you're rich too."

"Yeah, but I'm nice rich. I'm the rich that gives to charity not simply because I have nothing better to do." She laughed gently.

"You're the kind of rich I can get along with." I smiled back at her.

"So you're not-"

"God no."

"Okay," she said slowly, "that means you're either scholarship, in which case you'd be at the front, or you're that pyro-dyke that I keep hearing about." She smiled at me to let me know that she didn't care.

"I tend to just go by Alex though."

"Well its shorter." She laughed as the teacher walked in.

"New girls," he barked at us, "quiet. I don't care where you're from or what you're talking about. All I care is that you're talking. Now shut up so that I can take the register and get out of here."

"Wow," I whispered, "he really needs more caffeine."

* * *

The day was long and boring. I found I was behind in classes that hadn't even started due to the fact that Seth had forgotten to mention summer reading. I also realised that when Kirsten was talking to Dr Kim about parental pressure to keep me out of the school it had stemmed down to the kids too. Consequently the only kids that talked me were Seth and Anna, the rest ignored me to my face and made snide remarks to my back.

I didn't see Marissa all day, something that I wasn't all that fussed about given the way she'd behaved before school. I didn't bother waiting for her at four, when the bell rang I scooped my stuff into my bag and found the nearest exit off of campus and slowly walked back into the gated community.

The door slammed behind me once I got home and Kirsten peered her head round the corner of the kitchen.

"How was school?"

"Horrible." I said simply, dumping my bag on the island. "How was work?"

"Same." She smiled at me half heartily. "Why was school so bad?"

"The kids don't want me there, the teachers don't like me and I'm already behind." I told her, passing her a copy of Dicken's 'Hard Times' that I'd got from the school library. "Seth never told me about summer reading."

"That's because he doesn't read anything without pictures." She told me as she read the back cover. "Haven't you got this one?"

"Got 'Oliver Twist', 'David Copperfiel' and 'Great Expectations', I think they picked this one just to spite me."

"Wouldn't put it past them." She laughed passing me back the book. "Where's Seth?"

"With Anna," I told her, grabbing a Diet Coke from the fridge, "doing something for The Plank."

"Was I meant to understand that sentence, because you threw me when you mentioned a girl's name." She smiled at me as she handed me a glass.

"Anna is from one of the cold states, they met at cotillion and The Plank is the school magazine I think."

"Seth with a girl at an extracurricular activity, Sandy's working for an actual law firm, the apocalypse is nearing." She shook her head at me before walking out towards her room leaving me to my Coke and Dickens.

* * *

"Hey kid," Sandy slapped me on the back the next morning "…how did school go for you?"

"Don't you and Kirsten talk now that you're a hot shot lawyer?" I smiled at him.

"Hey," he pointed at me, "I've always been a hot shot lawyer now I'm just a well paid one."

"So you'll be buying me a new bike then?"

"Now I could." He smiled back at me. "Answer the question though."

"Fine," I shrugged as I held up book I was only three quarters of the way through, "got to finish this by 2nd period though."

"'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.'"

"That's 'A Tale of Two Cities.'" I told him, sipping from my coffee.

"Seth's right there's nothing you don't know."

"I don't do Spanish." I told him simply.

"When are you going to need that anyway, I mean its only our second language."

"And I know the first." I smiled at him.

"You're talking more than you usually do." He said after moments pause and I'd read two more sentences.

"Not really. I am trying to read though." I told him pointing down to the open book in front of me.

"I really am you're parent now aren't I?" he sighed, pouring a cup of coffee.

"You always said you didn't want me to be an only child, Dad." Seth said, pushing past his father to get to the coffee pot.

"Great." I sighed shutting the book. "I'll just guess what happens at the end then, I'm clearly not going to get this done." I said, looking directly at Seth.

"That you're not." He smiled back at me.

"It's a Dickens' book somebody probably dies at the end." Sandy shrugged.

"Speaking Spanish no doubt." I sighed, getting up and joining them at the coffee pot to dose up before school.

"Was Alex being glib?" Sandy asked Seth.

"She does sarcasm too." He replied.

"That's it." I put my cup down between them, hoping to separate them. "I'm going to school." I sighed, grabbing my book and my bag from the counter.

"I'll drive." Seth said, catching up with me and scooping his bag up from besides the hall table. "So you heard from Marissa?"

"And I'm riding my bike."

"You can't avoid me all day," He told me as I picked up my bike and cycled off, "YOU LIVE IN MY POOL HOUSE." I heard him yell after me.

* * *

"Told you." Seth smiled at me, jumping down from one of the bike racks so I could chain by bike to it.

"That you did." I said, patting him on the back as I passed him walking into the Common Room.

"So you going to talk to Marissa?" He asked following me to the counter.

"And say what? I don't think she'll appreciate the 'Sorry you're gay' sentiment."

"How but a simple 'Sorry I over reacted' I hear those go down a treat."

"Two coffees please." I told the guy behind the counter. "And I didn't." I told Seth.

"Maybe not," he shrugged taking one of the coffees, "but she's not seeing all that much encouragement to come out."

"How is it possible that I'm actually thinking about taking advice about girls from you?"

"I watch Dawson's Creek." He said quietly dropping his head.

"Dude, I'm so glad you have friends now." I laughed, patting him on the back. "Heads up." I warned watching Marissa and Summer walk in.

"Hey," she smiled nervously at me.

"I'm going to go over there." Summer told us, pointing vaguely to the other side of the room, grabbing Seth as she went.

"I was going to come over last night." She told me, sitting down at the near by table, I slumped myself down on the chair opposite and folded my arms. "But given the way your bad moods work, I saw no point."

"I don't see what the big deal is. I mean they all already think you're gay." I said, dropping my voice for the last part.

"I'm not gay."

"Oh great, if we're going to go through this again can we just skip to the part where I'm kissing a retired model."

"You know, if you could just quit being an arsehole we could skip to the part where I tell you I'm bisexual." She hissed quietly at me. "You're not the first girl I've had feelings for, you are however the first where I've acted upon them. This is new and a little scary…"

"Then we need to do this properly." I smiled gently at her. "Meet me out front at four." I pushed my chair back and stood up.

"Cool," she nodded, mirroring my actions, "just its going to have to be five." I simply frowned at her. "I didn't manage to get out of my position of social chair." She explained.

"Five it is then."

* * *

"I think I've done something stupid." I sighed sitting down with Seth and Anna at lunch.

"God, what did you say to her now." Seth sighed.

"I implied that I was going to take her out on a date." I told him, stealing half of his sandwich. "I don't know what to do or where to take her."

"Sorry who are we talking about?" Anna looked between us confused.

"Marissa Cooper." Seth and I told her together.

"What have I done now to get you two saying my name like that?" Marissa asked us both sitting down between us and taking a bite out of Seth's sandwich.

"I'm so glad you're both here eating my food."

"Marissa," Anna leant across the table at her, "what do you want to do tonight?"

"You know I could have done that one." I laughed at her.

"You could have," Anna nodded, "you're weren't going to though."

Marissa simply looked between us, "Are you stressing over tonight?" she smiled at me.

"Well its taken us a long time to get here…" I shrugged at her.

"You got a T.V in your room?"

"You know I do."

"Well then," she smiled at me, "new plan. I meet you at yours say around seven, I will have gone to Blockbusters and we will watch DVDs."

"Well that was easy." Seth laughed.

"Anyway, I have to go and track down Summer," she gave my hand a small squeeze before standing up, "seems she's still pissed that I didn't tell her about you."

"She told you she's bisexual then?" I asked looking up at her.

"Oh this is going to be great." She smiled at us all before walking back into the main building.

"I'm so lost." Anna sighed at Seth as she watched Marissa's retreating form.

"Well Alex came to Newport and now everyone's gay." Seth said simply.

"So you giving up on Summer?" she asked him.

"Oh no, slowly I thaw her icy heart." He smiled at her before turning to me. "Dvd's in a locked pool house-"

"Wait you live in a pool house?" Anna asked me, looking confused at the conversation surrounding her.

"Alex used to steel things." Seth explained quickly not taking his eyes from me. "You thinking tonight's the night?"

"Seth we haven't even had a first date. Three chased kisses does not lead to sex."

"But you have before right." I simply looked at him. "Okay, wow that's what I thought I just didn't want to jump to conclusions because my experience is sort of limited," he paused, "and?"

"And what?"

"Was it awe-some?" he asked slowly.

"Seth!" Anna looked at him appalled.

"Which time?" I said simply finishing his sandwich. "And are we counting boys too?"

"Oh my god," he said slowly, shook evident on his face and in his voice, "my sister's a slut."

"You sister is not your sister and she just likes sex," I shrugged, "that doesn't make me a slut."

"I'm still reeling from the fact you said you're not his sister." Anna sighed looking between us, clearly looking for some sort of explanation.

"The Cohen's are my guardians. Sandy is technically my lawyer, we met when he was assigned to me when my brother stole a car."

"Where's your mom?" She asked me, trying to take everything in. I simply shrugged whilst she hit Seth on the arm. "You see this is what I learn when you're not talking about Summer all the time."

"Can we please get back to the point?" Seth asked, Anna and I simply nodded, "Are you going to have sex tonight?"

"Seth!" Anna and I both hit him the arm.

"Okay, okay," he said, getting up quickly, "no sex."

* * *

I looked from my book and up at my door when I heard a tentative knock. I saw Marissa standing in the doorway in a simple black dress, her purse hanging from her shoulder and three DVDs held tightly in her hand.

"Hey." I said, throwing my Hard Times across to the far wall and getting up to meet her at the door. "Hey." I repeated quietly.

"Miss Alex Atwood," she smiled gently at me, "you're not nervous are you?"

"No." I smiled back at her, "just," I shrugged, "excited…"

She kissed me slowly before handing me the DVDs she'd brought, "You going to put one on or not?"

I flicked through her choices instantly dropping Dirty Dancing and then doing the same for Moulin Rouge, "You really don't know me do you?" I laughed at her.

"I thought I'd try my luck, smile at you until you let me watch them." She said sliding off her shoes and lying down on my bed. "Look at the last film though."

"Imagin Me And You?" I frowned at her. "Never even heard of this."

"It's a British film starring Piper Perabo, about love at first sight." She smiled at me.

"Another chick flick?"

"No it's a clit flick." She smiled, getting up and taking the box from my hand and placing the disk in the DVD player.

"You know you just said 'clit' right?" I said still frowning as I took up the place on the bed Marissa had vacated.

"Yeah, it's a chick flick for lesbians. Haven't you heard that term before?"

"No, I'm more amazed that you have though." I told her as she laid down besides me.

"Its called the internet. I've looked into this kind of stuff." She shrugged, turning her attention to the trailers.

"Okay Jessica Stein." I laughed at her.

She rolled over, so that she was laying on top of me and quickly pressed her lips against mine in an attempt to stop me laughing. It worked. As I felt her tongue caress mine I flipped us over so they could battle. The feel of her under me was like nothing before. Her kisses were so much more intense, filled with passion and want.

I slid my hand along her thigh and was amazed when she allowed me to continue up to her breast. Her nipples were hard, I could feel them through the strapless bra she was wearing. She responded by pulling my yellow shirt over my head throwing it across the room, like my book before.

She looked up at me, sitting astride her putting my hair into a pony tail, she seemed amazed by the whole situation.

"You know, we could," I moved so I was laying beside her, "just watch the movie." I smiled at her, nodding over to the TV with the film untouched on the menu screen.

"No, no." she knocked the remote out of my hand, where it crashed to the floor and lost its batteries. "I'm excited to where this is leading."

"You done this before?" I asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Not with a girl but I mean in general."

"I always thought I would lose my virginity to Luke." She said, frowning slightly before shaking her head and looking at my bra, "Its really nice." She said after a while of fingering the lace detail.

"Thanks."

"Now," she said in an incredibly authoritative tone, "if you relent from calling me Jessica Stein-" I opened my mouth to protest, but once again she silenced me with a kiss. A kiss that once again meant that I was lying on top of her battling my tongue with hers.

A kiss lead to another and another. A kiss that lead to touching and clothes strewn over the floor. A kiss that led to kicked off covers, sweaty body's and sticky sheets. A kiss that lead to contentment, to happiness, to lying in each others arms.

We laid next to each other, naked bodies entangled and simply talked. We talked about everything and anything, from novels and comic books to life ambitions and family history's. We talked past all the lights going out in the main house, we talked with just the moon, the stars and the menu screen illuminating my room. We talked until we just fell asleep laying next to each other, naked bodies entangled.

* * *

I woke up when I head the door bang against my glass walls, I looked over Marissa's back and saw Seth looking down at the paper as he walked in.

"Morning ritual Alex; coffee, bagels, Arts and Leisure." He held up the paper and looked over to me on the bed, still holding Marissa. "Oh my god." He said simply and slowly. "You two naked under there?"

"Seth this would be your cue to leave."

"Sure, sure." He said quickly placing the cups of coffee on the TV table. "For Marissa when she wakes up." He said pointing to the cup that he'd made for himself.

"Now Seth." I told him, looking down at Marissa starting to stir besides me.

He backed out of the room and shut my door once more, the noise forcing Marissa to wake up fully.

"Seth brought you a cup of coffee." I smiled gently at her.

"What?" She frowned at me, rolling over to face me.

I simply shook my head, "Nothing." I told her before gently kissing her.

"What time is it?" she asked rubbing her eyes.

I leant over my pillows and picked my phone up from the step by my bed, "Uh, a little before nine." I got up and grabbed the cups of coffee from the table and passing her one, before getting back in bed besides her.

"Where did these come from?" she asked cupping it between her hands.

"Seth." I said simply.

"I don't think I want to know where they came from anymore." She smiled sipping from it. "I've never seen that tattoo on your back before, when did you get it?"

"About a year after the butterfly." I told her, placing my cup on the bedside table and doing the same with hers before pulling her back down so she was lying with me. "The butterfly was kind of a 'Fuck you' to Mom, during my rebellious period when I was fifteen. The one on my back Jodie designed and I got it at the start of the summer."

"Not long before we met then?" she smiled at me.

"Not at all."

"I liked our date." She said after a while of silence between us. She sat up and wrapped my cover around her, leaving me on the bed, naked and exposed. "Next time we may even get around to watching the film." She laughed, before kissing me and walking round my room collecting my clothes.

"You going?" I asked, taking my cover back once she'd slipped back into her dress.

"I have to." She said simply, "I have to get home, change give my dad enough time to kick my arse for not going home last night before heading out to school and organising the carnival."

"Oh is that tonight?"

"Yup," she said, sitting down besides me and slipping her shoes back on. "I'll save you a seat besides me on the Ferris wheel." She told me, kissing me once more before walking out my door.

* * *

"Dude seriously though, you slept with Marissa Cooper." I banged my head against the car seat as we drove to school for the carnival. Seth had been talking about nothing else since I'd woken up again and emerged for breakfast when I should have been eating lunch. "_The_ Marissa Cooper."

"Can you please stop saying her surname?" I asked him.

"But, like-"

"Stop it." I pointed at him.

"You said you weren't going to have sex though."

"I was going to take it slow." I shrugged. "Turns out not so much." I said simply.

"But you had sex with Ma-" he stopped suddenly when he saw me glaring at him. "I'll stop."

"Oh thank god." I sighed, as I realised we were pulling into the car park. As soon as he'd parked properly I leapt out of the car and headed onto the grounds to find Marissa. She was by the cotton candy stall with Summer.

"Oh thank god you're here." She smiled at me, as I took her cotton candy. "Summer keeps talking about us having sex."

"Seth's doing the same." I sighed, passing her back the stick. "Its so annoying, he's got past the bit where he saw us naked though."

"He saw us naked?" Marissa frowned at me.

"Well under the sheets." I shrugged, looking around the carnival.

"Close enough for Cohen I guess." Summer sighed. "Where is he anyway?"

"With Anna somewhere, think he said something about ski ball." I told her before she walked off.

"Fancy a ride on the Ferris wheel?" Marissa asked me, a smile covering her face.

"Definitely, if you'd said the tea-cups though, then we'd of had a problem." She took my hand discretely and walked me through the other kids to the ride. "Two please." She smiled at the operator before pulling me on the ride next to her.

I placed my arm around her and we sat there quietly watching all the other kids in the fair. When we reached the top she turned to me and brushed her lips against mine. She slid her lip along my lower lip, asking for entrance, which of course I allowed. I felt my way into my trouser pocket and pulled out a note to give to the operator. "Once more." I told him, handing him the note, when we reached the bottom. I pulled away and looked at her smiling face in front of me. "Guess this means your out." She continued to smile, leaning forward.

"Guess so." She said before kissing me again.

* * *

R&R, thank you. Circus.


	10. The Perfect Couple part two

**The Perfect Couple – part two**

Marissa ran her finger along my chest, playing with the curves of my breasts almost as we laid in bed one evening.

"You noticed we have a lot of sex?" she asked me quietly, rolling her finger around my exposed nipple.

"We'll be having some more if you don't stop that." I laughed at her, batting her hand away as my nipple started to harden.

She leant over it and gently kissed it before taking it between her teeth and biting it. "Couldn't resist." She said, looking up at me sheepishly.

"And you wonder why we have a lot of sex?" I smiled back at her, kissing her teasingly.

"Don't Sandy and Kirsten mind?"

"They're too busy figuring out who's better equipped at talking to me about lesbian sex to worry about me actually having it."

She sat up and leant her head on her hand, "You serious?" she smiled at me.

"Yeah I walked in on them the other morning discussing it. I left when Kirsten brought up Sandy's porn collection though."

"I think we should go out on a date." She said after she'd slid back down and laid down in the nook of my armpit. "I mean like a proper date rather than the pool house film night date we had."

"You know I wanted to take it slow." I told her, playing with her hair.

"What happened?" she asked, moving so she could stay in my nook but still see my face.

"We had sex."

She picked herself up once more and kissed me, moving so she was laying on top of me. Her tongue found its way into my mouth and my hands found themselves feeling her body astride mine.

"Jesus Christ!" We both turned quickly to see Kirsten shutting my door and walking back in towards the house.

"I think that would be my cue to put some clothes on." Marissa laughed, sliding off me and out of my bed. She pulled on her top and picked up the denim skirt she'd worn over to see me. "You seen my underwear?"

"Hmm," I sat up and looked around my room, "ah," I pointed towards the chair by my door, "there. Can you chuck me that hoody whilst you there?"

She threw it across at me and I put it on before going over to the wicker baskets and finding a pair of pyjama bottoms to wear into the house.

"Good luck." She smiled at me before kissing me on the cheek, "See you tomorrow."

"Ditto." I sighed, following her out of my room and into the house.

"Night Mrs Cohen." Marissa smiled at Kirsten before continuing out of the front door.

"Hey." I smiled nervously at her.

"Never happened with Seth." She looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"No I imagine it didn't." I laughed, remaining nervous as I went to the fridge and pulled out the cartoon of milk. "So," I sighed before taking a drink, "guess you're going to have the talk with me?"

"You realise I have no idea how to do it right?" she confessed passing me a glass.

"Want to just skip it?" I asked pouring some milk before returning the cartoon to the fridge. "And, you know, tell Sandy we've done it?"

"Deal. And I'll, uh, lean to knock." She smiled.

* * *

I walked into the kitchen the next morning to find Sandy and Kirsten by the coffee pot talking quietly together.

"Hey kid." Sandy smiled at me as I walked past them to get a cup for my own coffee.

"Hey." I said, looking confused between them. "What you talking about?"

"Whether you two have told Julie yet?" Kirsten asked, sipping from her coffee.

"I'm still alive." I told her simply, going over to the island and picking at the grapes in a bowl on the counter.

"You two ever going to tell her?" Sandy asked me.

"I want to remain alive." I told him peeling a banana.

"You told Jimmy?" Kirsten asked me. "Finish your mouthful first." She smiled watching me try and talk and eat my mouthful of banana at the same time.

"Don't think Marissa knows how to. He knows she's seeing someone."

"Given the amount of time she's in your pool house he would be stupid not to." Sandy pointed out.

"Thanks, by the way," I smiled turning round to face them, "for being so cool about everything."

"What are they being cool about?" Seth asked, taking my coffee and draining it. "What?" he asked after I hit him on the arm, "You always steal my stuff."

"Yeah but I can hit harder." I told him simply taking my cup back to refill it.

"This is why we only had Seth." Kirsten pointed at Sandy with her coffee cup, before turning back to Seth and I. "You two going to school or what?"

"We get to drive ourselves?" Seth asked her.

"I need my car," Sandy replied, "get your things I'll take you."

"You know you could just get us our own car." Seth suggested in what he assumed to be a nonchalant manor.

"You two fight over food," Kirsten told us, handing me my school bag over the island, "I'm not giving you a car to fight about."

"Besides," Sandy laughed, trying to steer Seth out of the kitchen towards the door, "whenever you use the car it either gets totalled or ends up in Mexico."

* * *

"So," Seth asked the second he'd shut the car door and Sandy had started to leave Harbour car park, "what are my parents being so cool about?"

"Marissa and me." I said simply, rearranging my bag on my shoulder and starting up the steps to the main building.

"You mean you two doing nothing but each other each night?"

"So eloquently put." I sighed at him. "And I don't know why people keep saying that, 'cause its not true." Seth raised his eyebrows at me. "Well you made us watch Battle Royal with you the other night."

"'Made' being the operative word."

"It was Battle Royal, Seth, it was always going to be 'made'. Anyway, I now have the problem of taking Marissa on a date again."

"Why can't you do that whole pool house movie thing again?" he asked.

"Because the whole point of this date thing is that we don't have sex."

"What kind of date is that?" Seth asked as we drew closer to Marissa and Summer sitting on benches in the Quad.

"The kind you go on." I told him, before sitting down next to Marissa and putting my arm around her.

"What does Cohen go on?" Summer frowned at us.

"Sexless dates." I told her whilst smiling at him.

"Well that's a lie." She said as she stood up. "Cohen hasn't found a girl dumb enough to date him yet."

"Wow." I smiled at her, "I should have thought of that one."

"Anyway," Seth said slowly, sharing glares between Summer and I, "Alex was just telling me about your big date, she's got a whole thing happening, it sounds amazing."

"Wow, there's a whole thing happening." Marissa asked me.

"There is?" I frowned at him before he stood on my foot. "There is!" I corrected quickly, trying to not show him how much he'd hurt my foot.

"Yeah, but shhh," Seth put his finger over his lips, "it's a surprise. Its gonna be the best date ever, okay I have to go. Summer walk you to bio?"

"I can walk myself."

"Great then you can walk me!" he smiled pulling her away from Marissa and I.

"Best date ever huh?" Marissa smiled at me and kissed me on the cheek before leaving me on my own to figure out what the hell had just happened.

* * *

"I don't understand why you just don't take her to dinner an a movie," Anna suggested at lunch, "it's a classic combination."

"Because somebody promised her the best date ever!" I snarled at Seth.

"Alex, I went ahead and I did a little re-con on your behalf. I was extremely stealth and I spoke to Summer, okay, and I asked her what would Marissa want to do on a date, what would she really enjoy and she told me… she didn't know."

"How helpful!" Anna said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"_But_ Summers three favourite activities are shopping tanning and waxing, maybe there's something there man, they're best friends, use that-"

"So it would seem that my big date involves taking her shopping, having my hairs pulled out with wax from my newly tanned body." I continued snarling at Seth.

"And here I thought Summer was superficial!" Anna sighed.

"I have no car, no money-"

"Yeah when did you stop going to work?" Seth frowned at me from across the table. "And for that matter when did you stop smoking?"

"I quit when school started up and Kirsten told me she wasn't going to fund my smoking habit." I shrugged at him before banging my head on the table trying to figure out where to take Marissa.

"That's a shame you know," Anna said after a while, "you looked so cool smoking!"

I looked up at her, "That's that sarcasm thing you do isn't it?" she simply nodded and I went back to banging my head on the table.

"Well what do you normally do on dates?" Seth asked me, putting his hand between my head and the table to stop me banging it.

"I've never actually been on one."

"But with your scarlet past?" he frowned at me.

"Yeah, yeah I've hung out with people, we just never really… went-out." I told him awkwardly.

"Oh, got it!" Seth said after moments pause.

"Yeah I'm going to, ah, go to class." I said, standing up, feeling uncomfortable under both Seth's and Anna's gazes.

"I'll keep working on it." He smiled at me.

"Yeah, 'cos you've not done enough!" I sighed hitting him round the back of his head as I passed him on the way into the building.

* * *

I didn't pay attention to anything my history teacher was banging on about so when the bell went for final period I scooped up my stuff and headed out of school, praying that no one would miss me in math. I walked home slowly, hands in my pockets, kicking stray cans, the whole time wondering where the hell I could take Marissa.

We couldn't go to a restaurant because Marissa wasn't out to any adults besides Sandy and Kirsten, I didn't want to take her to the movies 'cause that was just incredibly cheesy. I tried to think back to my life in Chino, the closest thing I got to a date was fooling around on the sofa with a lame made for TV movie playing in the background.

When I got in I went up to Seth's room and stole his laptop, taking it back to my room with the plan of googling 'Newport Dates', however, I ended up just downloading music to put on to my cell and playing solitaire. Before I knew it, it was gone five and the afternoon had gone.

I was brought out of a deck of cyber cards with a knock on my door.

"Wow, there's something new." I sighed, before calling out: "Its open."

"Bad news," Marissa sighed, walking over and joining me on my bed, "I know you had Saturday night all planned but something's come up."

"Oh, that sucks." I tried to sound disappointed as I moved Seth's laptop onto the floor. "There was this whole big thing."

"I know but we're gonna be spending a romantic night on a yacht for this charity even hosted by… my mom." She smiled at me, clearly trying to convince me of this new plan.

"Your mom hates me. Your mom and me in the same room is bad enough but at least there are exits, there are no exits on a yacht."

"Yeah but there's me on a yacht." She smiled hopefully at me.

"Which brings me nicely to my second point; you're ready to come out to her?"

"Why not?" she shrugged, moving my arm so that it was wrapped around her, "I told Dad and he's cool with it."

"You did?" I turned her round to face me. "Serious?" I asked, trying to read her expression.

"He wanted to know where I was all the time, your name came up."

"How'd he take it?"

"Same way the Cohen's did. But he did say no more sleepovers," she smiled, "when he assumed I was at Summer's my curfew wasn't a major issue, now he knows I'm here…"

"Curfewness?"

"Yes that's exactly how I was going to phrase it." She deadpanned.

"Sorry, I got season one of Buffy the other day."

"Anyway," she said slowly, trying to bring the subject back around, "there's no reason Mom won't react the same way."

"I would like to take you back to point one." I told her, sliding down my bed, trying to get comfortable.

"That's only because she doesn't know you."

"You're determined about this aren't you?" I asked her, trying to look at her lying in my nook again.

"Yes," she smiled up at me, "Mom came by today and apologised to me and my dad and it seems like she's changed… And hey, if my parents got back together and my dad finds a new job, then my life could go back to normal again."

"Well maybe I should stay away for a little while give you guys-" She looked up at me once more. "I'll be there."

"Good," she smiled, picking herself up so she could kiss me, "because its times like these when a girl needs her girlfriend the most."

"Girlfriend?" I sat up a little too quickly.

"Well, I mean, aren't we?" She frowned at me, still lying down.

"I've never really been a girlfriend before." I told her sheepishly, "Well, there was Jodie but that ended badly."

"You've only had one girlfriend?" She said with a look of disbelief.

"Well you haven't had any, so technically I win." I smiled down at her, leaning over her to give her a kiss.

"What happened with Jodie?" She asked me breaking away from the kiss.

"Must we do this?" I asked, rolling off her. "Can't we just do the short version?"

"Shoot."

"She cheated, trust issues on top of trust issues."

"But you've…" she tried to motion with her hand, "with girls… other than Jodie right?"

"Your mom, Saturday night. Can't wait!" I smiled kissing her on the cheek before getting off of my bed, "Lets see what Seth is doing."

* * *

"So I was talking to Anna on MSN last night," Seth walked into my room holding a cup of coffee for the each of us.

"Where's the Arts and Leisure?" I asked him, pulling on a jumper.

"Oh I get it, comedy." He deadpanned, passing me one of the cups. "Anyway, Anna reckons all I do is talk about Summer."

"Anna's smart. I like her." I smiled from him, putting my mug down so I could tie the laces of my Chucks.

"I'm that guy?" I looked at the horrified expression on his face. "Dude how can I be that guy? I hate that guy. Well then no wonder Summer doesn't have any interest in me cause apparently all I do is I talk about Summer, although you'd think she'd like that."

"You're doing it again." I told him, taking me and my cup of coffee into the house.

"Right." He said following me.

"Hey you can stop trying to figure out the 'Best Date Ever' by the way."

"Oh yeah? How come?"

"Big boat thing of Julie Cooper's. There's going to be this charity thing, with an open bar, rich people and photographers."

"You and Julie Cooper trapped on a boat huh?"

"Its going to wild!"

"Can't wait to see how that one goes!"

"Think we can have another fight just so I don't have to go?" he raised his eyebrows, "You're right bad plan. Damn I hate having a girlfriend."

"What? Girlfriend? I thought that you didn't do girlfriends? I mean you did 'em…." He motioned with his hands again, "but you, you know what I'm saying."

"I don't, and this is not a good way to start, at least you'll be there."

"No I won't, who would I bring I can't take Summer or… I could do you think she would go, I don't know." I simply looked at him "I'm doing it again."

"Or you know who you could ask?"

"Who?"

"Uh, how bout a beautiful blond that you spend every waking minute with who's not me." he just stared at me. "ANNA!" I hit him round the back of the head.

"I could take a friend, interesting… Oh and OW! Why must you insist on doing that?"

"Because I can." I said simply, draining my coffee cup and heading over to Marissa's old house.

* * *

I was lying on Marissa's old bed, looking through her collection of stuffed animals arranged on it, whilst she went through her wardrobe.

"I forgot I had this dress."

"Its nice." I said looking over at her admiring it in front of the mirror before going back to throwing and catching a monkey.

"My mom bought it for me seems appropriate." She glanced over at me playing on her bed. "Hey! Leave Iain alone!"

"Your monkey's name is Iain?"

"Yeah!" she said as if Iain was the most obvious name for a monkey.

"Okay then!" I rolled my eyes at her, setting the monkey down. "There you go Iain!" she laughed at me and returned to into her wardrobe. "You know… I think your mom would understand if you told her you didn't want to do this." I suggested quietly watching her pull off the little black dress.

"Except I do." She responded throwing the dress back onto an empty chair and climbing on top of me in just her underwear.

"Right… that's what I meant, uh, Ris-"

"Ris?" she frowned at me.

"Marissa is a long name."

"Fair point." She smiled and kissed me gently, along my jaw line.

"Don't change the subject." She sat up and looked at me quizzically. "This event is important and on a yacht and whenever I go to one of these things somebody," she was smiling, "gets into a fight."

"You're gonna be fine." She said leaning forward and kissing me again, only this time taking the kiss deeper. I switched our positions, so that she was on her back, and ran my hand slowly along her bare stomach.

"Marissa? Sweetie? Oh my god Alex!" Julie backed out of the room and shut the door quickly. Marissa jumped up and ran to the chair where her outfit was, leaving me on the bed alone.

"Uh… Hey Mum." She said pulling open the door again once she'd put some clothes on.

"Marissa." She nodded. "Alex." She smiled over sweetly. "So you two are gay? Together? You two are gay… together?"

"That's about the long and the short of it." I nodded as I sat up, Marissa shot me a 'let me handle this look' and I promptly shut up.

"I was, uh, going to tell you." Marissa told her mother.

"No its fine dear." She said slowly sitting down at her daughter's desk. "Its fine."

"It is?"

"It is?" I repeated Marissa's sentiment, just as confused, as I got off the bed and walked over to stand besides Marissa.

"Yeah you're a lovely girl Alex." Julie said, still speaking incredibly slowly.

"I am?" my hands were dug deep into my pockets as I stood there uncomfortably, watching Julie avoid catching my gaze.

"Sure." She said shaking her head, trying to process all the information. "Just, just... thought I'd ask," she looked around the room as if trying to find the words, her eyes fell upon the dress that Marissa had picked out earlier on the chair in the corner. "Oh I love this dress! You remember when we bought it," she laughed trying to cover her nervousness. I glanced at Marissa who merely shrugged her shoulders, clearly as confused as me, "We had that amazing lunch in Beverly Hills we saw Catherine Zeta-Jones." She told me.

"Yeah, I remember." Marissa said slowly sounding like just like her mother before.

"So much fun…" she continued smiling from the memory "..well we should get to the ship and help out. Uh honey will you check and see if Caitlin's ready?"

Marissa glanced at me for help, receiving none, "Uh, okay, sure." She looked back at me one more time, checking if I was okay being left alone in a room with her mother and left in search of her sister.

"So uh I know that you and I haven't always seen eye to eye.."

"I don't think we've ever seen eye to eye. Especially that part when you accused me of trying to kill you daughter."

"_But_," she continued ignoring my interruption, "I wanna say that I'm sorry. You've been there for Marissa. You really care about her, I see that now, and I'm hoping that this party will be a chance for us to start fresh, celebration of a new beginning hmm?"

I didn't know what to say. This was a different Julie Cooper, it certainly wasn't the Julie Cooper I'd grown to hate.

"I don't really like boats."

"Please?" she said almost sincerely.

"Okay?" I responded.

"Thank you." She pulled me into a hug.

"You're welcome?" she still didn't let go. Marissa came back into the room saw me and her mom hugging and smiled.

"Hey."

"Well let's get to the boat huh? Come on." Julie rubbed her hands together and left the room, Marissa followed, leaving me standing there, not really sure of what exactly had just happened.

* * *

I was trying to pull the trash out of the can without ripping the bag, cursing Seth's name for leaving me to do his chores when Sandy walked past me and tried to kiss Kirsten on the cheek.

"Hey, there's pot roast in the, um-" Kirsten motioned to the oven behind me, swerving her husband's hello, simply cupping her glass of wine.

"I ate."

"With Rachel?" she asked coldly.

"What was that today?" Sandy asked Kirsten suddenly very angry.

I tried to struggle with the trash faster, no longer caring about ripping the bag. The only time I'd seen them fight was over me. I didn't really know what to do, I continued my battle with the rubbish praying that I would win and be able to get out of the kitchen quickly.

"I'm sorry… he just-"

"If you have a problem with Rachel and me you should come to me." Sandy cut into her explanation.

"Sandy you're never here... who am I gonna talk to if I don't talk to my dad... Seth? Alex?" she gestured over to me, only increasing the levels of my uncomfort.

"We're adults with demanding jobs you don't go running off to your daddy!" he sounded upset. "If that's to hard then go give Jimmy a call."

"Its so nice talking to you!" she practically spat at him before slamming her glass down on the counter and storming out of the room.

"Don't ever get married." He sighed, walking over to me. "So how's everything going with your um...relationship? Which I need to talk to you about you know at some point."

"Kirsten did it." I told him quickly, hoping to avoid another awkward 'Bees and bees' talk. "And its just, just hard." I shrugged, staggering backwards after having finally pulled the bag free from the trash can.

"Really? 17 years later... it doesn't get any easier." He shrugged.

"It's her mom really."

"Marissa told Julie?"

"Well she may have seen Marissa kissing me in her underwear."

"God I would like to have seen her face." Sandy smiled for the first time since he walked in.

"She took it… well."

"Julie Cooper? Julie Cooper as in _the_ Julie Cooper. The Julie Cooper who lives next door, who hates you and wants you in jail."

"Marissa just calls her 'Mom' though."

"Was she high?"

"Drunk." I laughed.

"In laws? Well if you figure it out," he shook his head, "let me know." He patted me on the shoulder and walked out to try and rescue things with Kirsten.

"Good luck." I called out to him.

"Ugh, thank you." He laughed back at me.

I tied the garbage bag and walked it through the yard, I'd just dumped it in the wheely bin when I saw a town car pull up at Julie's house. Curiously begged me to wait and see who'd stepped out, though as soon as I watched Mr Nichol kiss Julie on the cheek I instantly regretted it, even more so when Julie looked up and saw me staring at them open mouthed.

I ran back into the house and up the stairs, I was just a knock away from telling Seth before I realised that he wasn't really the one I should have been telling. I walked back down and pulled out a soda from the fridge wondering how the hell I could tell Marissa that her hopes of her family getting back together were once again shattered by her mother.

* * *

"Hey." Marissa smiled walking into my room the next day.

"Hi!" I climbed, somewhat haphazardly, across my bed to meet her by the door. I kissed her quickly on the cheek. "Just got to uh...put on my good pair of shoes."

"Am I ever going to see you in a dress again?" she asked me, looking my outfit up and down.

I was wearing a collarless, white shirt and a grey waistcoat with a pair of black skinny jeans; a giant contrast to her simple blue dress.

"Not a fan of the waistcoat?" I responded as I pulled out a pair of black pumps from my wicker wardrobey thing.

"You look like Will Smith in Men In Black." She smiled leaning on the doorframe waiting for me.

"Oh I make this shit look good." I smiled back at her, walking over and wrapping my arm around her trying to steer her into the main house.

"I know this isn't exactly the date you had planned, but I really appreciate it. You couldn't have done better with my mom yesterday." I went into the fridge and pulled out a can of Diet Coke for us each so I wouldn't have to look at her, "She's like... a different person. Who knows I mean maybe if everything goes well tonight then..."

I passed her the cans. "Hold theses." I told her simply, before putting a hand on each of her cheeks and pulling her face forward so I could kiss her properly.

"I'm really happy!" she told me once I'd pulled away and taken one of the cans back, "Which never use to be an accomplishment... and not just about my parents."

"Come on." I nodded towards the formal lounge where I knew Seth and Anna were waiting for us. "Hey." I smiled at them.

"You're not wearing a dress." Anna pointed at me.

"That's what I like about you," I laughed, pulling open the can, "your keen observation skills."

"So I'm just gonna run to the girl's room, it's down the hall right?" Marissa asked me.

"Yeah." I nodded, leaning on the back of the sofa with Seth.

"I got to go too." Anna told Seth handing him her purse.

"Right cause girls can't pee alone." He sighed, before I hit him on the arm. "What its Anna I could've said pop a squat in front of her if I wanted to."

"Sometimes I think you talk just to make sounds."

"Well sometimes I do." I hit him again. "Hey! What was that one for?"

I shrugged and sighed. "So Anna looks good."

"Mm, tonight should be fun, there's gonna be a raffle, the only thing more fun then a raffle is, is anything really."

Kirsten walked in and fixed her earrings in front of a mirror. "You guys ready?"

"The girls are, uh, peeing." I simply hit Seth again. "Okay, what was that one for?"

"Felt like it." I shrugged.

"Seth don't say 'pee', Alex please stop hitting him." Kirsten told us, watching us via the mirror. "Seriously I knew this was a bad idea."

"The yacht?" I frowned at her.

"You living here." She smiled at me to let me know she was joking.

"But on the plus side she doesn't steal or burn things down anymore."

"Come on then, lets get going." Kirsten sighed, upon seeing the girl's return.

"Where's Sandy?" I asked wrapping my arm around Marissa as we walked out to the car.

"That's what I would like to know." She mumbled as we all piled into the Range Rover.

The car ride to the marina involved Seth and Anna discussing the virtues of Evil Dead over those of 30 Days of Night, whilst Marissa kept stroking my arm trying to convince me that everything was going to be alright on the yacht.

When Kirsten parked the car, Marissa dragged me to see her family; all happy and smiling, not to mention well dressed.

"Hi, you're here." Julie smiled at us, pulling Marissa close to kiss her on the cheek.

"That we are." I sighed, as I watched Kirsten pass us and head straight to the bar wishing I could go with her.

"Hey." Jimmy smiled at me.

"Hey." I nodded glumly, digging my hands deep into my pocket. "Nice day." I tried to smile at him.

"Come on, its not that bad." He smiled.

"Hey Caitlin." I nodded at Marissa's kid sister, who just folded her arms and glared at me.

"Uh, Caitlin doesn't trust new people," Julie told me wrapping her arms around her youngest daughter, "but Alex is very trustworthy." She said looking across at me poignantly.

"Marissa, sweetheart reverend Donahue wants to say hello." Jimmy told Marissa, distracting Julie from her recaptured hatred of me.

"Okay Daddy."

I looked up and saw Caleb on the upper deck talking to some woman, I looked back at the Cooper 'family' and was met by Julie's continuing icy stare.

"Can I get a photo of the Cooper family?" the photographer asked us as we all stood on the lower deck, the Cooper's greeting guests.

"I'm going to find Seth and Anna," I whispered in Marissa's ear.

"Alex, why don't you join us?" Julie asked me, clearly having over heard what I'd said to Marissa.

"No its cool, I mean the photo's of your family." I told her, with a tone with just as much hidden meaning as the one she'd used on me.

I made my way through the people on the boat and found Seth and Anna sat on the railing mocking the outfits and plastic surgery of the other guests.

"I hate this." I told them, holding onto the side staring out to the sea.

"Oh yeah, how's your sea-sickness doing?" Seth asked me, jumping down and joining me looking out at the ocean.

"Its not that's bothering me." I sighed, turning round when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Excuse me, Alex." Julie smiled overtly sweetly at me, retracting her hand from me as if I had AIDS.

"Good party." I said, trying not to catch her gaze by looking round at all the other guests.

"You want a drink Anna?" Seth asked her, nodding towards the bar.

"I could go for a drink, sure." She replied quickly before they scurried into the main bit of the boat.

"Thanks for not telling Marissa." Julie told me quietly, her arms folded tight around her chest.

"Well she's pretty psyched about you getting back together with Jimmy," I clapped at her excitedly, sarcasm dripping from everything I did, "I'm not going to keep lying to her." I told her eventually having stopped clapping.

"This is my life, my daughter." She half smiled at me.

"My girlfriend."

"No you're not," she told me quickly and sharply, "You're Marissa's latest drama, weapon of torture to inflict against me."

"Fuck you." I told her quietly, making sure to over pronounce the two little words.

I walked past her, making sure to knock into her shoulder as I went. I grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and downed it, giving back to him as quickly as I had taken it. I took another one before walking round the small boat, scanning the people for Marissa.

"Hey," I felt her head on my shoulder. "My parents are totally getting along. And if my dad could find a job soon then maybe I could be your neighbour again, I could sneak over whenever I wanted."

"Yeah that would be cool," I downed the second glass and put it down on the table, "I mean if your mum wasn't sleeping with Caleb." I whispered in her ear.

"What, what're you talking about?" she looked at me confused.

"Your mom. Caleb. Fucking." I told her slowly.

"Why are you saying this?" she frowned at me.

"Because you're mom is a bitch." I told her simply, before taking her to the edge of the top deck and pointing at Julie and Caleb's hushed conversation below.

"Just give me a second." Marissa told me before running down the stairs to the main level.

I sat down on one of the seats and dropped my head into my hands. I knew Julie was lying, or rather I prayed to a god I didn't believe in that she was; but there was a little bit of me that thought she was just being honest with me.

It was that little bit of me that had tried to pick a fight with her, it was that little bit that had shattered Marissa's hopes and barely even cared about it. However, it was all of me that hated that I was sitting alone on a boat I hadn't even wanted to get on in the first place.

I lifted my head when I heard Marissa's voice ring out on the loud speakers.

"-how bout another round of applause for my mom and for Caleb Nickel," I heard her say, pausing to allow the guests to clap again. "after all there work on behalf of the children's hospital… if anybody deserves a romantic get away for two," I was running down the stairs, knowing exactly what she was going to do "its my mum and Caleb Nickel I mean aren't they just the perfect couple, they've been keeping their romance a secret, but tonight; the secrets out." I pushed my way through the crowd and got to the front just to see Marissa handing the mic back to her mother. "Come on." She smiled at me, taking my hand and leading me back through the people I'd just forced my way past.

Once we were outside, she sat me down and passed me another glass of champagne.

"Nice, by the way." I told her quietly, looking up at her ashamed.

"You know you could have told me a slightly more caring way that my parents weren't going to get back together." She sighed, sitting down besides me and watching me sip from the glass.

"Your mom, she just, she kinda rattled my cage."

"I can tell." She told me, lifting my head so that I would look at her. "What she say?"

I opened my mouth to let her in on the fears that Julie had forced back to the surface of my brain, but when I saw Marissa smiling at me, her eyes filled with nothing but care and concern, I realised that my fears were completely unfounded.

"Nothing." I told her, shaking my head. "It doesn't matter." Marissa took the glass and placed it on the side before holding my hand in hers, picking it up and kissing it gently.

"What the hell was that?" Julie asked angrily casting a shadow over us.

"You lied to me!" Marissa said, dropping my hand and rising quickly, "You said you wanted us to be a family again."

"I do... and I was going to tell you but this is all so new and I know you've been through so much. Marissa honey this whole party, this whole night was to show you that our life could be like it was, you could move back home we could be a family again."

"And what about Dad?"

"Honey... I will always love your father... but because of what's he's done we have no future together."

"Neither, do we!" she walked off leaving me with a her fuming mother.

"Nice boat!" I smiled at her, before standing up to follow Marissa. Julie, however, grabbed my arm and pulled me back so I was forced to face her again.

"You ever speak to me like that again," she said, trying to stare me down, "and they will be the last words you say."

"Lesson learnt." I nodded back at her. "I shall never compliment anything of yours again."

* * *

Marissa and I made our way into my room, sneaking out of Seth and Anna's conversation about who was better Iron Man or Captain America. I shook off my waistcoat and flung myself on my bed, just for Marissa to join me a moment later.

"Hey," I said after a while, rolling over so that I was looking up at the ceiling. "Sorry I wasn't more sensitive earlier."

"What did Mom say?" she asked me, moving so that she was laying next to me.

"Just that I was another sign of your rebellion." I told her, not taking my eyes off the ceiling.

"Well that's bull." She quickly responded, climbing on top of me. "I mean I would have told her first if that was the case. What you say to her when she said that?"

"'Fuck you.'"

"That's my girl."

I looked up at her and smiled, picking my head up so I could kiss her.

"What time you have to be home tonight?" I asked her, before flipping us over so I was on top.

"I think I can afford one more sleep over." She smiled up at me, leaning across to get the lights.

* * *

R&R, thank you. Circus.


	11. The Homecoming

I apologise now incase my French and Spanish are incorect, furthermore there is more slight R'ish content - hell from now on just assume to be R like content.

Enjoy, Circus.

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* * *

**

The Homecoming

I'd been listening to Seth panicking about his mother's cooking since he'd woken me up at seven, when Sandy and Kirsten has got up it had only got worse. Seth had followed her round all morning talking about odering in, calling caterers in, even suggesting flying out to see The Nanna. Once Kirsten had stepped into the kitchen, his fears of a bad Thanksgiving had gone into overdrive.

"Mom, no recipes!" Seth pleaded, running round the island putting himself between his mother and the food. "Put them away."

"This is Alex's first thanksgiving in the house and we're gonna make this meal as a family."

"Ah-ha okay seriously where's Rosa?" he asked following her round the small space.

"That's a good point." I asked him, sitting on the counter top opposite. "I mean I haven't seen her since my mom was here."

"No Rosa, just us." Kirsten told him clearly not listening to me but motioning for me to get down nonetheless, "I, for one, am ready for this challenge."

"Dad the take out menus!" Seth asked Sandy, almost praying to him.

"Sandy!" Kirsten scolded him when he went over to the draw and handed Seth and I a menu.

"You sure you wanna do this honey?" he sighed, taking them back.

"Mom no," Seth's desperation was evident in his voice, "we're not ruining thanksgiving."

"Who said we are?" Kirsten looked at him shocked, one hand on her hip the other brandishing a wooden spoon.

"I wait for this event every year mom, please Thanksgiving is my favourite it's my favourite holiday, everyone knows this." He gestured round the room.

"Don't look at me," I told him, retreating to the corner, "my mom would have been drunk by this point."

"All the more reason to make this special..." she looked around the kitchen uncertainly, "are there pans, are there any pans anywhere?"

"Not inspiring a lot of confidence darling!" Sandy smiled.

"Do you know what I dream about when I dream about thanksgiving, which is often." Seth turned very serious. "I dream about eating _so_ much deliciousness that all the blood rushes to my stomach and I pass out at the table." He hit his fist on the counter dramatically. "Please don't deny me that!"

"That was a speech that would make George Foreman jealous." I laughed at him.

"I was going to be the front man for his campaign but he said my skin tones were all wrong." He smiled back.

"Damn, that pesky white skin of yours." I sighed.

"Shall we start with the turkey," Kirsten said, oblivious to the conversation around her. "...uh...um" she put down the pan she'd found "do I...uh?" she picked up the turkey by its legs and lifted it, confusion seeping from her.

"Aw that's just how she held you as a baby." Sandy pointed to Seth, who simply glared back at him.

"Sandy! Um, I guess we should just um start...basting?" Kirsten stared down at the turkey whilst Seth looked at Sandy for help.

"I'll tell you what, I'll baste." Sandy told her.

"That's a good idea." Seth let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, are you-are you sure?"

"Oh I love to baste you know that!" he told Kirsten, pushing her away. He made a grab for the baster but Seth beat him to it.

"Hey Alex you want to start a family?" he waved it in front of me.

"Gimme that!" Sandy snatched it back and hit him with it. "No! No children!" he told me pointing it at me.

"Why are you telling me?" I held my hands up completely confused, I pointed at Seth "He's the one that brought it up!"

"Okay well next up is cranberries." Kirsten continued ignoring us.

"Uh I got it, big fan of the cranberry!" I grabbed the cranberries from her, sensing that Seth was about to have another panic attack.

"Well then, I'll peel the potatoes."

"No I've got it! There's few things as therapeutic," Seth bumped his mother out of the way, "as peeling a potato, I'm sorry."

"So, what am I suppose to do?" she asked suddenly very lost.

"Set the table!" Sandy offered.

"Yeah setting the table's important." I chimed in preparing the jelly.

She went over to the silverware drawer, glaring at each on of us in tern before getting distracted by the ringing phone.

"How bout I get the phone?" Kirsten offered.

"Or you can answer the phone," Seth told her, pointing the peeler at it, "its not gonna answer itself."

"You own the phone!" Sandy told her while she picked it up.

"Hello?...Yeah I'll accept the charges...Uh, yeah she's uh she's right here, hol-hold on a second," she covered the mouth piece with her hand and went to pass it to me. "Uh, Alex it's your brother." I shook my head at her, waving my hands trying to tell her no but she simply continued to hold it out to me.

"Hey." I sighed reluctantly, putting down the spoon and walking out of the kitchen and sitting down on the stairs.

"_How you doing?_" his voice sounded husky from the other end.

"Good you?"

"_You know how jail is. Am I gunna get a visit from my kid sister?_"

"What today?" I asked him, dropping my head into one of my hands, "Its… its thanksgiving Trey."

"_I haven't seen you in ages Al_."

"No, yeah I know its been a long time its just..."

"_Come on man! It's the holidays. I wanna see my family_."

"Wasn't Mom gunna visit?"

"_Sorry are you talking bout someone else's mom?_" he tried to laugh but his voice cracked and he ended up simply coughing.

"Okay." I sighed again.

"_I wanna see my brat of a sis_."

"I wanna see you too." I told him, my hand rubbing my temple feeling a headache coming on.

"_Its been too long_."

"Its been… too long." I repeated quietly.

"_I'm gunna say bye and I'll see you later_."

"You too, bye." I pressed the red button and simply stared down at the phone cupped in my hands.

I was happy, I was settled, I was doing well and for the first time had a future ahead of me. Yet with one phone call I saw it all vanish before I even came close to touching it. With one phone call I felt myself being dragged back, kicking and screaming into my old life, where all that lay ahead of me was a prison sentence.

I slowly pushed myself up from the stairs and walked back into the kitchen. I put the phone back in its charger, before turning to the others.

"So the cranberries…" I rubbed my hands together and headed over to the stove.

"Whoa." Seth put a hand on my chest and pushed me back, "Not so fast, you can't just walk in here and act all nonchalant and hope that we simply ignore that fact that your brother just called you."

"I think that was Seth's way of asking 'How's Trey?'" Sandy smiled at me, still holding the turkey.

"Okay," I nodded, still slightly in shock. "...he was hoping I could visit him." Seth looked up at me. "Holidays." I shrugged, "You know. He doesn't wanna be alone."

"Oh, can you blame him?" Sandy looked at me with sympathy covered all over his face, only I couldn't work out who it was for.

"So are you uh...are you gonna go?" Kirsten asked timidly.

"Well it's only an hour away. Um I could help out here, go down, be back by dinner."

"Well great, that'll be great... get to see your brother." Sandy tried to smile at me.

"Oh yeah." I popped a cranberry in my mouth as I rolled my eyes at him, "I mean he was the one who taught me to steal cars, get arrested…"

"See, Al, I knew that's all you did in Chino!" Seth smiled weakly at me.

"I'll go start on the corn outside." Sandy said, breaking the silence.

"I'll help."

"By helping Mom, do you mean standing back and letting Dad do all the work?"

"And here was me thinking the woman's place was in the kitchen." She sighed, pooring a glass of wine.

"You got to get hip to the twenty first century Mom." Kirsten simply looked at me dispondently before following Sandy out to the barbecue.

"'You got to get hip'?" I raised my eyebrow at him. "When did you turn ghetto?"

"Bout the same time you moved in." he shrugged and looked through the cupboards. "Hey where's the stuffing mix."

"I'm not ghetto and maybe Kirsten was gunna make her own."

"You came from an inner city. Trust me you're more ghetto than the whole of Newport put together." He pulled his head out one of the cupboards. "Hang on… people actually make stuffing."

"What'd you think?"

"I didn't... so you should probably be heading out soon." He told me, looking through the recipe book.

"Uh, I got to finish the stuffing, then there's the gravy and the candied yams…" I counted all the food items off on my fingers.

"Yeah and if you find enough cooking to last three to five years then Trey'll be out."

"He's just gonna want something from me a favour," I sighed, "money."

"Hey maybe not though. Maybe he just wants to see his family on Thanksgiving." Seth shrugged.

"That's like saying you want to join the water polo team."

"Hey, now that's an idea! Maybe that way they'd stop peeing in my shoes." He went over to the sink and started washing the starch off the potatoes. "How am I to know? We never talk about him."

"Well there's not all that much to talk about."

"Well... he's your brother," I looked at him, "but if you want I'll-I'll go with you I'd like to meet him."

"He'd pee in your shoes."

"Well legally, Alex, he's my brother too now, so he probably wouldn't."

"If he's your brother he's even more likely to pee in your shoes. And anyway someone's gonna have to keep your mom away from the food," I pointed out of the window to Kirsten at the grill.

"I'm on it." He told me before walking to the open door. "MOM! Come on, your uncomfortably close to the corn right now, please can we back up a little bit."

"…besides you've got Anna coming over." I laughed when he returned to the potatoes.

"Yes I do." He smiled.

We dropped back into silence as both prepared the vegetables for dinner. The door bell ringing pulled me out of thoughts of my old life and making me jump as a consequence. I pointed the knife I was welding at him.

"See I knew there was a reason I had to stay in the county." I told him, dropping the knife and heading out to the door.

"Happy thanksgiving." Kirsten smiled at Jimmy and Marissa.

"Hi." Marissa smiled back her, as Kirsten pulled her close for a hug. "Hey," she walked over to me whilst the adults were still saying hello, "just wanted to stop by before I went to my mom's see if you wanted to talk." She smiled seductively at me.

"Yeah," I smiled back, taking her hand and leading her through the house, "talk." I nodded.

"Hey Seth." Marissa smiled at Seth as we passed him, still with his potatoes.

"Don't make too much noise." He called out to us as we made our way into the pool house.

As soon as I'd shut my door her lips were upon mine and her body pressed up against mine, forcing me against the cold glass of my wall. I leant into the kiss and moved her back towards my bed, until we both toppled onto it, neither of us breaking the kiss.

Her hands were roaming along my back, trying to undo my bra, whilst one of mine was on the inside of her thigh playing with the hem of her panties. She pulled my top up as I pulled her underwear down. Both of us desperately searching for more and more contact between us.

As clothes got shed and bodies explored I quickly forgot about my brother and home. I forgot about my past life as I simply laid with her, kissing her, touching her, feeling her next to me. As we rolled over I caught a glimpse of my watch and was instantly brought back into the real world.

"I got to go." I told Marissa getting out of bed and reaching for my bra.

"Oh okay," Marissa said, sitting up holding the sheet to cover her chest. "If you can leave the five hundred on the table."

"What?" I turned round to face her.

"Since when you fuck and run?" she asked me, deliberately moving my shirt out of reach.

"I got to go and see my brother." I told her, leaning over my bed and kissing her whilst grabbing my shirt out of her hand. "I'll be back by eight." I smiled, getting up before she could grab my shirt back and finished dressing.

"I thought he was in-"

"He is." I cut into her sentence to stop her trying to figure out how to end it. "He wants me to drive across and see him."

"You want company?" She asked me getting up and starting to dress herself.

"You don't want to come with me." I told her, as I pulled on my pants.

"No, I do." She said, straightening out the dress she'd just put back on. "I'd like to see where you came from."

"Where I come from there are no mansions and infinity pools. There are no private schools and the gated communities are the prisons." I sighed, walking over to her. "Besides, you have dinner at your mom's."

"Well I'll bail on her." She shrugged, "I've always wanted to see what poor people look like in there natural habitat." She smiled at me.

"Was that some of that inappropriate humour you do?" she simply nodded. "Fine, you can come. But if you don't have fun that's not my fault." I warned her. "I'm just going to check in on Seth, meet you by one of the cars?"

"I'll take my dad's." She told me kissing me on the cheek and leading me back into the main house.

I watched her as she grabbed her dad's jacket and went through his pockets until she found the keys, before I ran up the stairs to Seth's room.

"Hey man," I smiled at him once I'd pushed open his door. "I got to hit the road. What are you doing?" I asked him watching him rummage through his comics. "You getting ready for Anna or something?"

"No," he said getting up and passing me the new Titans, "thought you might want to take him this."

"He was always more into Sin City."

"With car theft and prostitutes?" Seth frowned at me.

"Yeah that's probably not the most suitable thing I could take him." I conceded taking the Titans. "Hey," I smiled pointing to an after-shave bottle I'd just spotted on his chest of draws, "since when did you start wearing cologne?" I asked him spraying it on my arm to smell it.

"I'm sorry for trying to step it up a notch." He told me, snatching back his bottle.

"And this has nothing to do with Anna coming over?" I asked him.

"What...?" he turned defensive. "Uh...no why would you I mean why would you even wear you-I-I-I-I Anna are you totally uh uh I don't even I don't. I couldn't. No." he shook his head furiously.

"You like her." I laughed, poking him in the ribs.

"No. What makes you even think that?" he asked batting my hand away.

"What's the problem? She's cool. Plus she's like, oh my god, like totally into you." I flicked my hair around.

"Okay I blame Marissa for that one." He pointed at me. "I need to ask your advice on something but you have to promise me, okay, you have to promise me that you will not tell anybody. Okay?"

"You're going to tell me anyway, whether I promise or not." I told him, sitting down on his bed and flicking through the comic.

"Good point. The other night on my grandfather's yacht Summer attacked me with her lips."

"Funny how she always does that when there are no witnesses!" I sighed, not looking up from the comic.

"_And_ she swore if I told anyone she would kill me, and she's got a interesting take on romance."

"Just pray you don't get a valentines from her."

"For someone who doesn't do holidays you're really planning ahead."

"I have to get going, Marissa's waiting." I told him standing again.

"Can we focus on me for like two minutes please?" Seth pleaded at me.

"I'm so sorry for wanting to head out and see my incarcerated brother." I told him, hitting him with the comic and making my way out to the car.

"Anna kissed me too." Seth called out after me.

"No fucking way?" I laughed, spinning round quickly.

"Seriously for the first sixteen years of my life I had no women, now I have two."

"Oh man, I feel so bad for you." I laughed.

"Oh, hey thanks buddy."

"No seriously man tough, tough problem to have." I kept laughing.

"I liked it so much better when you had no sense of humour."

"Hey," I pointed the rolled up comic at him, "I've always had a sense of humour."

"Well you hid it well, behind the mood swings and the brooding."

"And I'm going again." I told him, going back downstairs to be met by Sandy panicking, checking I had my cell with me and Kirsten presenting me with a pie.

When I finally got out of the house I found Marissa sitting in her dad's car flicking through the radio stations.

"Sorry I took so long." I sighed, slipping into the seat besides her. "Seth is having women issues."

"Wait," she smiled at me as she pulled out of the drive, "our Seth?"

"And there you were thinking we wouldn't have anything to talk about on the drive."

* * *

"I cannot believe you made me listen to Tori Amos the entire ride over." Marissa sighed, holding the door to the visitor's centre open for me. "I mean she is so depressing."

"When we go visit a sibling of yours in jail, you get to pick the music." I told her, kissing her on the cheek as I passed her into the building. I walked up to the front desk and tried to pull the guards attention away from the USA Today he was holding. "Hello?" he looked over at me, "We're here to see Trey Atwood."

"You got to sign in and leave all sharp objects at the gate." He pushed a clipboard towards me, going back to his paper. I signed mine and Marissa's names on the sheet and pushed it back to him. "A guard will search you over there." He pointed to a guard of each sex by a steel door and slid over a couple of 'visitor' tags, still not looking up.

"I forgot how much fun this is." Marissa whispered in my ear as she clipped on her tag.

"Well I haven't done this since I was seven." I sighed, walking over to the female guard to be searched.

She pointed us down a corridor and a series of locked doors until we finally got to the visitors pen. It was a caged enclosure filled with inmates and their families, all being watched by guards with guns in towers.

I walked over to Trey at a table on his own, he looked so small in his bright orange jumpsuit. He picked his head up when my shadow finally fell on him and I saw how his face was covered in bruises. He suddenly looked even smaller.

"Hey little sister." He stood up and tried to smile, but the cut on his lip meant that he simply grimaced instead. He tried to pull me into a hug but I took a stoop back and folded my arms.

"This is Marissa." I told him, nodding over to her standing nervously on the edge.

"You always said it wasn't a phase."

"Uh, you know what you guys talk I'll uh I'll just be over here." She pointed and sat down at the table next to us, leaving me with him. He sat back down, watched me drop the pie and the comic, before gesturing me to do the same.

"Look at you girl." He tried to smile at me once more, watching me remaining standing over him.

"What do you want?"

"Don't say it like that man, can't a guy just see his sister on Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah 'cause we're all bout the family!" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Hey forget about it alright… I didn't wanna have to call you but," he sighed, "I'm in trouble...when we got arrested I owed some people a lot of money - money that I lost; like six grand."

"How the hell did you lose six grand?" I spat at him, banging my fists on the table and leaning over him. "You're in fucking jail."

"You're an Atwood sis, you know our luck...the people that I owe it to...they got friends in here who like to remind me about it...its only gonna get worse."

"Hence that lovely beat up look you got your self." I rolled my eyes at him again. "I don't have that kind of money."

"I'm not asking you for the money."

"So what are you asking me for?"

"I need you to drop of a car at this garage and then the debts cleared."

"I'm not steeling a car for you." I told him, dropping my voice as a guard walked past. "Despite the fun I had doing it the first time.

"Look you don't have to steel a car." I simply glared at him. "Arturo's got one at his place. You just have to move it."

"And if I don't?"

"Next time you see me I'm in a coffin."

I pushed the pie at him and left, I pulled Marissa up as I passed and walked back through the gate I'd only just gone in. I picked up our stuff and headed back into the car, once Marissa had done her belt I sped off, wordlessly.

"You can't tell me where we're going?" she asked five minutes into the silent journey.

"Bus station, you're going home."

"What? Alex!"

"I have to pick up a stolen car okay, that I have to drop off at some chop shop to pay back a debt." I banged my palms on the wheel.

"A stolen car?" she sounded shocked.

"Now you know why you're not coming."

"But if you get caught then y-"

"He's my brother...if I don't do this...I've got no choice okay." I sighed out, well aware of the risks.

"Me either," she looked at me, "I'm not leaving you."

"Told you this trip wasn't going to be any fun." I sighed at her before pointing the car in the direction of my old neighbourhood.

* * *

I parked the car in front of my old house, the windows now boarded up and the front yard used as a dumping ground for the local's crap.

"Home, sweet, home." I pointed across at my old front room. "Later, if you want, you can see my old bedroom." I told her, unbuckling and jumping out onto the curb. "If it hasn't been invaded by squatters." I muttered walking up the Gonzalez's drive, knowing that Marissa was following, I rubbed my temple before rapping on the door.

"Alexandra Atwood!" Theresa smiled at me pulling back the door, before promptly slapping me. "_Jodie?!_"

"Ow," I told her rubbing my cheek. "It was nothing, we were nothing and she'd broken up with whatshisface."

"Usted siempre hace este." She sighed at me.

"Je le déteste quand vous parlez l'Espagnol, vous savez que je ne peux pas parler l'Espagnol." I replied.

"Why must you do that?" Theresa asked me.

"'cause it pisses you off, just like you know it pisses me off when you speak Spanish at me." I told her.

"What's going on?" Marissa asked me, stepping forward and looking between us.

"You speak Spanish?" I asked her, she simply nodded. "Then you tell me." I sighed, my hand back at my temple the headache I feared would come having arrived. "Is Arturo in?" I asked Theresa.

"You're just gonna ask for my stupid brother, your not even gonna tell me where the hell you been for the last five months." Theresa's hand was on her hip.

I scratched my head. "Err…Juvie, Newport, Juvie again," I rubbed my eyes suddenly feeling very tired, "and then, uh, Newport again. Now is he in?"

"What were you doing in Juvie?"

"That would be why I'm here." I told her.

"Who's this?" she asked me looking across at Marissa for the first time.

"Hi," Marissa held out her hand, which Theresa shook, "I'm Marissa Cooper."

"So this is your new girlfriend?" Theresa asked me, her hand still on her hip and her eyebrow in the air.

"Oh so you two were-"

"No, this isn't uncomfortable at all." I sighed cutting into Marissa's sentence.

"Off and on," Theresa answered, ignoring me "...we grew up together, I was the girl next door."

"So am I." Marissa smiled at me.

"Yeah. So Arturo?" I questioned Theresa again, trying to once again steer us all back to the reason for me being back in Chino.

"Yeah he's here." She walked away from the door and into the house.

"Don't look at me like that," I begged Marissa, watching her fake smile grow in size, "you were the one who wanted to come."

"Uh-huh." She continued smiling and followed Theresa inside.

"Mom, look who I found!" Theresa smiled at her mother once we were all in the kitchen.

"Oh Alex," Theresa's mum hugged me and laughed happily. "Where have you been? I haven't seen your mom in a while."

"Me neither." I smiled at her walking further into the kitchen. "Mmm, I missed your cooking Mrs G it smells good."

"You always were a sweet thing when you wanted feeding. How's your brother?"

"Trouble."

"So you here for the car?" Arturo asked me coming in through the back wiping his hands.

"Hey man." I nodded across at him, watching him walk through the room towards me.

"Hey man. How you doing?" he asked hugging me.

"Good." I nodded. "This is Marissa by the way."

"Hey." He smiled at her shaking her hand.

"Hi."

"Her girlfriend." Theresa told him, sitting down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

"Thanks for that!" I smiled at Theresa.

"Come on, man, lets go," he motioned out to the back with his head, "might take us a minute to get the engine going."

"Yeah." I turned to Marissa "You, uh, you wanna come?"

"You go, I'll hang out here." She smiled looking around the small kitchen.

"I was worried you would say that." I muttered following Arturo out into the yard.

"This cars hot man," he whistled as he pulled of the cover to reveal a 1952 DeSoto convertible, "Gattas will be psyched. Your brother must owe him a lot of money," I simply looked at him. "That dude's crazier then your brother is."

"Preaching to the converted man."

"So why you back here doing Trey's bitch work?" I didn't answer him, I didn't know what to say. "Look Trey was my best friend, but the guy's trouble." He got in the passenger side.

"I've noticed."

"You don't have to do this, you could just go back to your new life, what's Trey gonna do?"

"Lets just get this thing running." I hopped in and took the keys from him and listened to the engine rattle.

"Pop the hood." Arturo told me getting back out and lifting the bonnet.

I sat there as he tinkered with the car, turning the engine off and on as he commanded, wishing so much that I could just be back in the pool house with Marissa, getting ready to eat dinner with the Cohen's. Wanting so much to just be home. I stopped thinking and stared back into the real world when the engine started running smoothly and Arturo had dropped the hood back down. He looked at me his eyes telling me nothing more than he'd been saying earlier, I simply sighed and stepped back out onto his driveway.

"Thanks man. I'll go get Marissa." I smiled weakly and walked back into his house. "So the cars ready to go." I told her as my trousers started ringing, I pulled out my cell and saw the house number calling me, "Hello?"

"_Man its me_," Seth said, his voice filled with panic from the other end. "_Listen now, uh, despite what the penthouse letters might suggest two girls and one guy, uh, its not really all its cracked up to be_."

"Yeah I know what you mean," I looked over to Marissa and Theresa sitting at the bench laughing together, "but, uh, can I call you back when Marissa and I are on the road?"

"_Marissa's with you?_"

"Yup."

"_Uh, just her mom's here looking for her but just call me, call me back okay_."

"Have fun with Julie Cooper." I told him before hanging up on him. I returned my cell to my pocket and walked over to the girls. "So we better be heading out, Mrs G, thanks for occupying Marissa for me." I smiled at her.

"No problem Alex." She hugged me goodbye, "Don't wait so long to come back okay?"

"And miss more of your cooking?" I laughed at her.

"Good bye." Marissa shook her hand and followed me and Theresa back out through the front door.

"So, I'll see you again sometime." I smiled at Theresa when I was back in her front yard.

"Mhmm," she nodded. "Good luck."

"You too." I looked at Marissa standing on the street then back at Theresa. "Look I'm sorry bout how I left things."

"Yeah. This place isn't as fun as it use to be." I smiled at her and watched as she waved at Marissa.

"You mean with me no longer cheating on you with Jodie?" I laughed at her.

"You want another slap?"

I hugged her goodbye, watched her go inside and walked towards the car, with Marissa in toe.

"So how come you didn't tell me there was a Theresa."

"Wasn't all that much to tell really." I smiled at her handing her the keys to the range rover. "You know your mom's totally spazzing back home."

She merely shrugged, "So what we got to do now?"

* * *

I kept an eye on my speed and on the rear view mirror making sure that Marissa was still following me. Whenever I hit a red light she would sit behind me and pull faces, letting me know that I wasn't alone in all of this.

As we drove through shabbier and shabbier neighbourhoods I began to regret dragging Marissa into everything, thinking that my initial plan of leaving her out of my past life would have been the better one. However, as I drove along in a stolen car, the stereo pumping, knowing that she was behind me kept me going.

I waved my arm, signalling for her to pull over once I'd reached the address of the shop that Arturo had given me. I pulled in and waited for one of the mechanics to notice me. A Hispanic came out of the main garage wiping his hands of with a dirty rag.

"You Alex?" I simply nodded at him. "This is a hot ride I'll tell you that, hard to believe your brother could pull it off cause, uh, he's such a stupid son-of-a-bitch."

"Yeah," I got out of the car, "well, what'd you think?"

"What? Huh? What?" he asked hitting my arm. "What do I think about what?"

"We good? You take the car Trey's off the hook?"

"Oh, is that the deal?" he asked me, looking me up and down.

"That's what he told me. I'm just following orders here."

"Huh? You fellas hear that?" I turned round to see where he was looking to see even more angry guys, all clad in wife beaters, approach. "I've been waiting six months for this alright and there's something called interest."

"I don't have anything."

He pushed me against the chain rail fence behind me. "Yeah? Well interest needs to be paid." He told me hitting me in the face. "Alright?"

I heard a car horn, I looked down the drive to see Marissa in the range rover. "You're all with the questions aren't you!" I said hitting him so I could get past. I ran towards the car as Marissa opened the passenger door for me, with the angry mechanics following me. "Go!" I yelled jumping into the car, slamming the door after me. The car screeched as she sped away, putting distance between us and the guys.

"Now where?" she asked me, speeding down the road to put more and more distance between the shop and us.

"Back to Trey." I sighed, leaning back and staring out of the window.

* * *

She parked the car and we walked back into the jail, we'd left only three hours before. The shift had changed and a nicer guard signed us in and told us where to go, not that we needed either instructions or directions. I walked back into the pen and left Marissa standing by the fence as I went over to Trey.

"Car's delivered, debts paid but I am never doing anything for you again. You understand?" I told him simply.

"I'm sorry man."

"No you're not." I told him, dropping three quarters of a pack of Cherokee Red, the ones Mom always smoked, on the table and leaving him.

I turned round and Marissa followed me out. We collected our stuff and I got into the driver's seat. I didn't say anything until we were well away from the jail and onto a main road.

"So that was Chino." I smiled weakly at her.

"I guess," she sighed out, "I never realised when you left, you left people behind."

"I never wanna do that again."

"You won't have to," she laughed, "Snoopy."

"So Theresa told you huh?"

"Never knew you were a fan of the musical." She smiled at me.

"I was the only one who could fit into the costume."

"Sure." She told me in a voice that let me know she didn't believe me. "You know we're going to be having a conversation about the fact you cheated on her right?"

"Knew I didn't want you coming to Chino with me."

* * *

The sun had set by the time we pulled back into my drive. I looked around and found the house in darkness.

"Uh," I motioned towards the house and Marissa just shrugged. We stepped out and walked into the main hall, Julie running out of the kitchen just as soon as the door had slammed behind us.

"Oh thank G-d." Julie said pulling Marissa into the kitchen, upon seeing us. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to Chino with her?" she asked her, whilst glaring at me.

"Mom don't. I thought you were happy for us?" Julie turned round and looked at Mr Nichol for help. "Oh!" Marissa said slowly, realisation dawning, "that was just when you wanted to pretend we were still happy families when you were secretly shagging Caleb."

"Chinese anyone?" Mr Nichol jumped up from the counter offering us a container of rice.

"Where's Kirsten and Sandy?" I asked taking it from him.

"Drunk, passed out on the bed and next to her watching the football." He said handing Marissa more food.

"Wow it really is Thanksgiving." I smiled at her grabbing chopsticks. "And Seth?"

"Moping in his room because the girls left."

"Cool." I nodded at him, grabbing some more cartoons of food and heading upstairs, Marissa following me with cans of drink. "Hey," I smiled at him, having pushed open his door with my shoulder and finding him on the floor with a toy horse, "what you doing?" I frowned at him, joining him on the floor.

"Not lying with Captain Oats." He got up trying to the horse from view of Marissa.

"Uh, why are you on the floor?" she asked.

"I figured I'd end up here anyway so I might as well cut out the middle man."

"When the girls leave then?" Marissa smiled at him, passing him some noodles.

"When they saw each other." He sighed, dipping into the Pad Tai.

"What?" I laughed opening a can of Diet Coke.

"Never mind." He sighed, "So you going to tell me about that nice shiner you got going on there?"

"It was Chino, couldn't leave without getting hit."

"So home was fun, huh?" he asked taking the cartoon of Moo Shoo pork from me.

"You tell me, I was steeling cars." I told him, leaving us silently eating.

"Hey so, Seth," Marissa smiled after a while, turning to me and grabbing my chin and squeezing the sides of my mouth, "did you know that Alex did musicals?"

"Alex that's extremely minty of you," they laughed together. "I didn't even know they had musicals in Chino, I didn't know they had dancing or even laughter."

"Oh well that's cause no one lived there as funny as you." I said poking him with one of my chop sticks.

"Hey so we finally agree I'm the funny one, well look at that, looks like we all learned some valuable lessons this thanksgiving...it's uh it's heart warming."

* * *

There will be more angst next time folks (getting bored of all the fun and happiness). R&R, thank you. Circus.


	12. The End

**The End**

I was speed reading one of my English assignments at the kitchen island, Marissa having distracted me from it the previous night, when Seth slid in complaining to his father about his head. Part of me knew that I should cycle to school and stay in the library until I'd finished the book, or at least skimmed through the cliff notes. However, the other part of me knew I wanted to see how it was going to play out.

"Do I have a fever?" he groaned feeling his forehead with the back of his hand, "I think I might have a fever and, or, the chills."

"Since when?" I asked him.

"Since recently." He told me shooting me an evil glance clearly meant to shut me up before trying to get the attention of his father.

"And this has nothing to do with Summer and, or, Anna?" I asked him, not looking up from my book.

"You," I glanced up to see him pointing at me, "quiet and Dad, I really don't feel well."

Sandy motioned for Seth to come closer so he could feel his forehead. "You don't feel hot." He shrugged.

"How bout cold or clammy?" Seth asked him.

"I hear the summer flu has all those affects." I told him folding down the page of my book and closing it and pulling out the milk cartoon. "I hear anna-biotics are real good for that kind thing." I smiled at him before draining it.

"You know Kirsten hates it when you do that." Sandy sighed at me. "And if you really don't feel well I guess you could have the day off school."

"Are you serious?" I waved the milk carton around, gesturing wildly, "He's just doing it to avoid Summer and Anna." I stopped waving the empty container when I realised Sandy and Seth were watching me with a slight look of fear. "Sorry." I said sheepishly, throwing the carton in the trash. "I'm still not smoking, I'm a little edgy."

"Okay." Sandy said, shaking his head before turning his attention his attention back to Seth. "You're going to school, before Alex throws a fit." He smiled at him, patting him on the shoulder.

"Hey," Kirsten walked into the kitchen, also in her dressing gown. "how come your not dressed your gonna be late?" She told Seth as she brushed past him going to the coffee.

"And so are you," Sandy pointed his coffee cup at her, "or is that what ladies are wearing these days to yogalaties?" Sandy asked her. "Taryn called to remind you that today is the first day of your yogalaties workshop."

"Okay Mom...yogalaties?" Seth frowned at her.

"Ugh! I don't know if I'm gonna go, I'm not feeling well."

"See it's contagious!" Seth pointed around the room.

"You know, honey, you might still be a little hung over."

"From what?" Kirsten asked him

"Uh gee, I don't know getting drunk and passing out on thanksgiving." Seth shrugged.

"You really are my family now!" I smiled at her.

"Hey!" she pointed at me, "I had two glasses of wine."

"I heard ten." I smiled back at her. "And that was just the Merlot."

"Right from now on you and Seth don't talk without me supervising the conversation." She said throwing a bagel at me. "And I'm sure Julie Cooper has spread word around town that Kirsten Cohen now has a drinking problem." She told Sandy.

"Which is why you have to go to yogalaties, cause you know those chatty old Newpsies will just assume that you're at home sleeping off another bender." He laughed.

"And Summer and Anna will assume your to afraid to face them." I told Seth smugly.

"Hey I'm not afraid of Summer an Anna alright."

"I hear Summer suffers rage black outs." I smiled at him.

"...well I'm not afraid of Anna."

"So you're going to school?" I asked as I threw him the bagel.

"And you're going to yogalaties?" Sandy asked Kirsten.

"You just like saying that." She sighed at him.

"Yogalaties?" He shrugged. "I kinda do. Yogalaties." He smiled at me.

"Yoooogalaties." I repeated.

"You know what I wanna know-" Kirsten turned to Seth.

"Yogalaties?" Sandy said still smiling.

"Is why these two are so smug!"

"Because for once they didn't do anything wrong." Seth frowned taking a bite into the bagel.

"That's true." Sandy walked back over to me. "Here's to ya!"

"Back at ya." I smiled knocking my coffee cup against his.

"Enjoy it;" Kirsten smiled at us from across the island, "because knowing the two of you, it won't last long."

"Yogalaties."

"Yogalaties." I repeated.

* * *

Marissa was sitting opposite me in history class, sliding her bare foot up and down my leg teasingly whilst passing me notes, all of which made concentrating on Mr Bendis incredibly hard.

"Your class presentations will account for one third of your final grade," he told us walking around our tables dropping down instruction sheets, "along with your term papers and of course the final-exam. I'll be dividing the class into two person teams-" Marissa suddenly started writing again, "each team will be responsible for presenting a detailed account of a pivotal event or period in European history-" she slid it across the table, I watched him turn round to issue papers to the back of the class before reading it.

_We could do the crusades._

"-now I've already had quite a few a partnership requests-" Mr Bendis continued as I grabbed my pen and started to write back, "however, in all fairness to the other students I will select the teams myself at random, okay."

I looked across at Marissa knowing that we were not going to be allowed to work together, she clearly had the same thought as she leant across the table and scrunched up her note to me.

"Lauren and Kenny the French revolution, Alex you will be working with Luke-"

"Like fuck I will." I didn't realise I was standing until I looked around the class room and found all pairs of eyes upon me. I looked back front and saw Mr Bendis pointing to the door. "Going." I said simply shoving my books quickly trying to shake the eyes from me.

"I will be expecting you to still be outside the principals office at the end of this period." He told me as I opened the door.

* * *

I was sat on the uncomfortable waiting room chair for fifty-three minutes, just waiting and hugging my bag. Mr Bendis walked past and into Dr Kim's office, just two minutes later he was out and I was told to sit back down and wait for my guardians to arrive.

I watched as the Cohens walked into her office and waited for my fate to be sealed. I was amazed I was in so much trouble for just swearing at a teacher, however, I couldn't exactly explain why I'd sworn at Bendis; that would just lead to more swearing when I told them about Luke. Furthermore, the fact that I'd refused to press charges against him would just hold me in weak standing with Sandy. So I simply sat, waited and hugged my school bag as I watched the Cohens walk in and then out of Dr Kim's office.

"So which one of you is going to be good cop?" I smiled weakly at the Cohens opened the door.

"I have to get back to the office." Kirsten told Sandy not looking at me.

"So do I." He replied simply. I watched at they tried to have a conversation without words about who was going to deal with me. "Flip for it?" Sandy eventually sighed.

He pulled out a coin and Kirsten called it in the air, before kissing Sandy on the cheek and walking out of the building. I stood up and rearranged my bag, trying to act nonchalant, I had only seen Sandy look so disappointed at me once before and I'd been wearing a jump-suit at the time.

"Car, now."

Sandy waited until we were on the road before laying into me.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at, you're at private school you don't swear at teachers. They don't care what the problems you had with Luke Ward were, especially if your difficulties are just over Marissa. You just got to shut up and deal with it." I didn't look at him, though I knew he was waiting for a response, I simply stared out of the window watching the world go by. "You've been suspended for the rest of the day." He told me eventually.

"So we going home?" I asked him, confused by the route we were taking.

"You wish."

* * *

Sandy had me clerking for him all day, which was legal speak for him making me his bitch. I was lifting boxes between his and Rachel's office all day, fetching coffee and bagels and when he ran out of jobs for me to do he made me re-paint the conference office on his floor. Seeing as he didn't have the authority to authorise that, I painted over it in the existing colour.

Sandy let me out at five, the same time detention let out, with bus fair and directions to the nearest stop. I actually felt like the hired help rather than the adopted child.

When I got in my back was killing me, the rumbling engine of the bus doing nothing for the aches I had developed working for Sandy's law firm. I headed to the kitchen and found Seth sitting at the table doing his homework.

"Summer and Anna are friends." He told me, slamming his book shut. "They came out of the bathroom, together then they went off to the library together! Together!"

"Aren't you even the slightest bit curious as to why I have paint in my hair?" I asked him, "Are you that self involved that you didn't notice me not in school today?"

"You swore at Bendis, everybody's talking about it. The last time that happened – you know what I don't think that's ever happened before." He put his hand in the air for a high five which I simply ignored choosing to head into the shower to get the paint out of my hair. "Come on, Alex, these are two people who hate each other brought together by their even greater hatred of me! Its like Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader teaming up to destroy the emperor." Seth said following me into my room.

"And clearly we're back to focusing on you." I sighed pulling a towel from the rack. "If you can shout above the noise of the water running and my shower radio then I will be listening," I nodded at him, "but I have to shower and head over to the Ward's to work on mine and Luke's history presentation. And if you can remember correctly whenever I'm in house with Luke I either get beat up or go to jail." I walked into the en suit and quickly shut the door, knowing it was going to hit Seth's face.

"That's cool." He shouted from behind the door, "I'll tell you about my problems some other time."

* * *

Once showered I walked through the yard to my bike hoping to avoid Seth, he was the last thing I needed. Right now I was going to the house of a person who hated me because I was gay, there was the small issue of me stealing his girlfriend, but I don't think that it helped that I was gay. I didn't care to hear about Seth whining about girls.

I instinctively felt my pockets for a pack of cigarettes, finding none I simply plugged my headphones into my phone, turned the volume to full and hoped to force all thoughts of Luke out of my head with a seriously load drum beat.

I dumped my bike on the Wards' drive way and walked up and down the path a couple of times before plucking up the courage to actually knock on his door.

"Hi." A horribly happy woman peered round the door, "Alex isn't it?"

"Uh… yeah!" I shook my head. "I mean hi!" I tried to smile back as I held out my hand, which she shook.

"Luke just got home he'll be right down, come in." she said opening the door wider and ushering me in. I stepped into their giant hall and watched two boys, I guess Luke's brothers, fighting over what appeared to be a iguana, or a lizard of some sort.

"That's not real, or alive is it?" I asked pointing at the thing.

"Oh no!" she laughed before turning her attention to her sons "Guys, guys this is Luke's friend Alex." They both looked up and waved. "Alex this is Eric and Brad." She told me as the boys started to fight again. "Who wants a snack?" she asked them exasperated.

"Me!" they both jumped up and down, clamouring for attention, the iguana forgotten.

"Alex?" Luke's mom asked me I was about to answer her when the door opened behind me.

"Hello." A man said, walking past kissing Mrs Ward.

"Dad you're home!" the boys said in unison.

"Whoa ah huh, huh, there they are," he smiled broadly hugging his sons. "How you doing?"

"So can we play some ball later? Please." One of them asked.

"Ah you know what kids, I'm just home to drop off Mom's car," he turned his attention to his wife. "Ah one of the belts was misaligned I had them change the oil too," he turned back to the boys, "sorry fellas."

"Mm." She kissed him again, "Uh you remember Luke's friend Alex, they're doing a school project together."

"We haven't actually met." I said, but holding out my hand nonetheless.

"You're that kid the Cohens took in right?" He smiled taking my hand, I simply nodded. "What's your project on?"

"Spanish inquisition."

"Ooh not one the western civilization's proudest moments. I was a history major at USC," he explained, "and now I sell cars for a living."

"Oh don't listen to him Alex," Mris Ward said putting his arms around him and patting his chest, "he owns three auto dealerships."

"God Mom, brag much?" Luke sighed running down the stairs.

"She's just being proud of me." Mr Ward smiled at him.

"Come on let's do this." Luke sighed nodding upstairs.

"Yeah me too, Gus is outside, I'll see you tonight." Mr Ward kissed his wife goodbye opening the door. "Alex keep him on his toes please. Luke SC Notre Dame this Saturday thought we'd drive up about noon, tailgate."

"Yeah, cool." Luke smiled.

"Alex I don't know if you're a Trojan girl but it's gonna be a good game, you're more then welcome." He told me leaving.

Luke glared at me, as if daring me to agree to tag along, before nodding for me to follow him up to his room.

"Its fine," I muttered to myself, "I'm more of a baseball fan anyway."

Luke opened his room and promptly sat down on his chair at his desk, leaving me standing nervously on the edge. I looked around and saw nothing but sports posters and equipment, except by his bed where there stood a lonely photograph of him and Marissa.

"So," I dug my pockets deep in to my pockets, sinking my head into my shoulders, "this is awkward."

"Yup." He nodded back at me.

"I, uh, didn't get a chance to go to the library, Sandy's had me working at his office all day."

"You know that was pretty cool you know." He kind of half smiled at me, a thing that he'd never done before and so completely unnerved me. "Don't think anyone's sworn at a teacher before, plus Bendis is a total dick."

"Evidently." I sighed, looking around his room once more.

"So how you wanna do this?" he asked nodding towards the small pile of books in front of him.

"Quickly?" I muttered.

"'Cause I got a bunch a books from the library," he continued, clearly not have having heard my response "I pulled some stuff off the web. I was thinking we could do like a screen show on my power book." I simply looked at him dumbfounded. "My dad's got a film scanner at the office; colour laser jet, power point. We could just pull some stuff here and then head over there." He looked away when I didn't respond. "You know or not." He shrugged.

"I don't know all that much about computers."

"You'd rather read of a sheet in front of class?" He asked me with a cocky smile.

"But a girl can lean." I sighed as I watched him boot up his computer, grabbing the top book from his pile and plunking myself down on his bed and flicking through it.

* * *

We worked on our presentation for about an hour, me reeling off facts from the books with him typing them up and putting them on power point. Luke saved it all onto his scan disk before we pilled my bike into the back of his truck and headed off towards his dad's dealership.

"Dad?" He called out into the showroom as he held open the door for me. "Guess he's not here." He shrugged when neither of us heard a reply.

"Wow." I whistled out as I looked round the room of cars. "Is that the new TT?" I asked him stroking the hood of one of the red Audis.

"2.0 TFSI engine-"

"Permanent four-wheel drive, S tronic direct-shift gearbox." I finished for him. "I love cars."

"Yeah?"

"My dad and brother kinda worked with cars, always bringing them back and tinkering with them."

"They mechanics?" He asked.

"Thieves." I said simply before going over to the black R8.

"12 cylinders." He smiled at me, walking round the other side and hopping in. "Check out the stereo though."

I slid in next to him as he cranked up on the volume of the radio.

"Oh my god I love this song." I smiled as Wiley rang through not only the car but the entire dealership.

"You like drum and bass?"

"I like a bit of everything." I shrugged. "Are we bonding?" I frowned at him after a while.

"Weird huh." He agreed before going back and tapping the beat of the song out on the steering wheel. "Oh look there's my dad." He smiled pointing into the next room where his dad and one of his colleges were chatting.

"Surprised they haven't heard us." I said nodding towards the stereo.

"Sound proofing." Luke explained, shutting the radio off and stepping out of the car.

I followed him towards the offices, still looking round at all the different cars before finding myself walking straight into him. I moved so I could see what had caused him to stop dead in his tracks and wished I hadn't.

* * *

I chased Luke out of the building and hopped in besides him in his truck, barely having shut the door when he sped off. The drive back was fast and quiet, dispersed with me fearing for my life as Luke ignored the speed limit and threatened me with everything under the sun to keep me quiet about what I saw.

He dropped me off at the bottom of my drive before speeding off again, taking my bike with him. I simply watched it go, wondering if I'd ever see it again before giving up and walking through the yard to my room. I dropped myself on my bed as the day played back in my head. All of it coming back to one point: that I was right to try and shout down Mr Bendis in history.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late," Marissa told me the next day walking into my room. "I slept through my alarm."

"Its okay. I'll forgive you this time." I laughed kissing her on the cheek as I rushed round my room trying to tie the laces to my Chucks and pack my school bag at the same time.

"How'd it go last night? You didn't call me so-"

"We were working pretty late." I sighed as I looked around the room for my English book. "Can you see a copy of Pride and Prejudice?"

"I can barely find myself in this room, doesn't your maid come in here?" She asked, moving a pile of clothes from my chair and sitting down.

"I don't like Rosa cleaning in here," I shrugged as I moved the same pile of clothes looking to see if my book was under them, "makes me uncomfortable."

"So anyway," I wasn't looking at her but I could sense her roll her eyes at me, "you meet his mom? She's really great."

"She's overly cheery certainly." I nodded, "His dad was there too."

"Really?" she asked surprised. "'Cause he's never around, he's got these dealer ships in other cities an he's always travelling."

"Not last night." I sighed. "Maybe I left it in the house."

"Okay." She stood up and put herself between me and the door, "I knew you guys were gonna talk; so what did he say about me?"

"Amazingly enough, Seth, your name didn't come up." I sighed, walking past her and into the house.

"Did you just call me Seth?" she asked, following me into the kitchen. "I am not as self involved as Seth. Hey, Seth." She smiled at him, sitting besides him at the breakfast bar.

"I'm working on my self involvement." He smiled back at her before turning his attention to me. "So how was your date with Luke? Your new study buddy."

"It was good. You seen my book?" I asked him, rummaging around the DVDs on the coffee table hoping to find it amongst them.

"That's it?" Seth called out to me, "No gossip, no cross burning?"

"Yes Luke is in fact the founding member of the KKK, he and his buddy with the glove puppet from South Part write the monthly newsletter." I said, sarcasm dripping from ever word. "Have you seriously not seen my book?" I asked him walking back into the kitchen. "I cannot get in trouble today." I sighed starting to raid the cupboards.

"You really think its going to be amongst the cereals?" Marissa frowned at me. "What is up with you today, you're like tense and stuff. Insanely not like you."

"Did Luke show you his pagan alter?" Seth tried.

"Guys I'm fine, nothing happened with Luke, I just want to find my fucking book." I told them slamming the cupboard shut.

"Hey," Kirsten smiled at me passing me Pride and Prejudice as she walked into the kitchen to the coffee pot, "Rosa found it in the hall, oh and Sandy wanted me to remind you not to leave your bike in the drive way. Why are you all looking at me?"

* * *

The car ride to school was quiet, Marissa driving intermittently fiddling with the radio station, whilst Seth opened and closed his mouth going to speak before thinking better of it.

"Sorry." I eventually told them.

"For what?" Seth asked, trying to act like nothing had happened. "We'll just get you a pack of cigarettes and we'll be good." He smiled.

"What happened last night?" Marissa asked quietly.

"Yeah Alex, what was the belly of the beast like?"

"Nothing; no fighting, no punching, no homophobia. Nothing." I told them staring out the window and watching the school come into view.

"First Summer and Anna, now you and Luke. The apocalypse is nearing." Seth sighed from the back as Marissa parked the car. "Hey could one of you two, like follow them or something?" Seth asked us as we got out and started walking into the courtyard.

"What?" I frowned, turning round to face him.

"See if they're, you know, talking about me." He shrugged. I simply patted him on the back and continued on the way into the building.

I saw Luke chatting with some other members of the soccer team and went up to him.

"Hey thanks for returning my bike."

"Fuck off dyke." He told me, practically spitting as he did so. "Beat it." He continued when I didn't move.

Marissa steered me along and walked me into the building. "So much for you two being friends." She sighed.

"Something I find oddly comforting." Seth said smiling. "So can we go back to my problems now please people?"

"What problems?" I asked him, shoving Pride and Prejudice into my locker. "So their friends," I shrugged, "its not the end of the world."

"Weird perhaps," Marissa conceded, "given the circumstances, but apocalyptic?"

"We're talking about two people who are united in their hatred of me," Seth sighed, leaning against the lockers, "I think that's the end of the world for me at least."

"Seth," I turned round to face him as I closed my locker, "you screwed them over, get over it." I told him walking down the hallway into the girls' restroom.

I opened the door and once again was faced with a sight I wish I hadn't seen; it seemed that the whole of Newport was ganging up on me and making sure to air their drama's in front of me.

"And Seth was worrying about you two being friends." I smiled dully watching Anna and Summer break away from their kiss. "For someone that wants to keep there sexuality hidden you're going about it all the wrong ways." I told Summer as I fixed my hair in the mirror. "I mean I could have been anyone walking in here."

"We're going to tell Seth." Anna told me, watching my reaction through the mirror.

"We're just waiting for the right time." Summer finished.

"One," I sighed, wishing I'd at least tried to convince the Cohens I was sick, "there's never going to be a right time. And two, why? You don't need to tell him, its none of his business."

"Wow I envisioned that going a whole other way." Summer smiled weakly at Anna.

"Me too," I shrugged, "I'm having a really bad day though, bad week. Fuck," I threw my hands in the air as I opened the door, "I don't even know why I'm here."

"In the restroom?" Anna frowned at me as they followed me.

"In general." I sighed heading into homeroom where I knew Anna couldn't talk to me.

* * *

My classes were wonderfully uneventful. I spent lunch just nodding and smiling as I had been for the entire day, some moments doing it better than others. Anna had been trying to catch up with me all day, wanting to impart some wise sagisms that she seemed so fond of; trying to sell Newport to me. The truth of it was, though for the first time I had a future and a family, I didn't fit in.

"Hey," Seth called out to me after sixth period, "I have crazy news for you."

"If you are about to say a sentence with either of the names Summer or Anna; I'm telling you now, I'm not going to be listening."

"No, it's definitely not." He smiled at me as I tried to walk past him to my locker. "Its about Luke."

I instantly stopped dead. I knew what he was going to tell me, I knew it all before he opened his mouth and if he did he was just going to be confirming exactly what I had feared, exactly what I had dreaded ever since I'd seen that fateful kiss.

"I heard his dad's favourite TV show is Dawson's Crack." One of the water polo jocks laughed at Luke across the hall.

"I heard it was Everwoody." His friend laughed back.

"I have to go." I told Seth, quickly readjusting my bag as I attempted to walk past Luke unnoticed.

I got as far as opening the door before I heard Luke yell after me. He called me names, homophobia filling the air, all in an attempt to make me stop and listen. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply before spinning round and finding Luke, somewhat unsurprisingly, staring me down.

"Who'd you tell?" he growled at me, shoving me into the lockers.

"Nobody, I swear." I told him, once again forced to plead at him to let me go.

"Well you're the only one that knows, was." He continued growling at me before punching me.

My head hit the back of the locker, the pain of that was worse than that in my chin. I slid down until I was sat on the floor simply holding my chin.

"Hey, you okay?" Marissa frowned at me, holding out a hand to pull me up. "What happened to your face?"

"Luke." I said simply, going back to feeling my lip. "Anyone who thought that Luke having a gay dad would make him any more tolerable of me were mistaken."

"What?"

"Luke thinks its my fault that the school knows about his dad."

"You knew?" She frowned at me. "Why didn't you tell me? Don't you trust me?"

"I just got punched and you're worried about me trusting you?" I simply walked away at that point, before I said something I regretted.

* * *

I got home a good hour after I should have done due to the fact that I was walking. Storming off from Marissa was arguably not the best thing I could have done, furthermore just gave her evidence for her and Seth's 'You're not okay' speal. I just needed time and space. I just wanted to get away from it all, them all. Life to an extent.

As I walked in Kirsten called out to me from the formal lounge; "Hey sweetie, you're home late."

"Yeah," I sighed heading into the kitchen, "I walked."

"Why?"

"Couldn't afford the bus." I told her simply from behind the fringe door. "I'm going to hang out in my room 'til dinner." I told her, waving my soda can at her.

"Alex, can you come sit down?"

"Sure," I shrugged walking back into her and sitting myself down opposite, "if this is about the Bendis thing I'm not going to apologise."

"What happened to your face?" She asked me, leaning forward.

"Luke." I sighed, touching my bruise subconsciously as I did so.

"Still not getting on?" I just looked at her. "Are you happy here?"

"Now that one I was not expecting." I sighed, opening up my can of Diet Coke.

"Are you?"

"Yeah," I frowned at her, "of course I am. You guys are… Are you kicking me out?"

"Alex, do you want to sit back down?"

"I knew it, this is the perfect end to the perfect day." I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

"We're not kicking you out." Kirsten smiled, joining me standing. "We just think, maybe that after all you've been through that you might want some counselling."

"Counselling?" I suddenly found myself sitting again.

"With your mom, your brother all you went through at home and then to come here and be in a completely different environment…"

"I'm not crazy." I looked up at her. "I love it here, I love you guys. I know I've been all different and fighty and moody these past couple days but," I was standing once more, "don't make me go home."

"Alex you're a Cohen now." She smiled at me. "Come on, lets get dinner ready."

"And by that do you mean either let me cook or order in?" I smiled weakly at her.

* * *

"Ok its just that," Seth began to laugh at the dinner table, "after all the years of Luke calling me gay, I don't know I think its great that now the shoe is on the other actually its on his dads foot but you get the symmetry I'm going for."

"I do like the irony." I nodded at him, "I mean Luke is a homophobic cu-"

"Alexandra!"

I looked over a Kirsten and smiled, "You've never called me by my full name before."

"You've never said that word in front of me before."

"Technically I still haven't." I smiled at her.

"This isn't funny guys." Sandy scolded Seth and I.

"I heard Meredith's already filing for divorce." Kirsten nodded at me.

"I mean how can you get married knowing that you're gay?" I asked "I mean how can you keep that kind of a secret? How can a marriage survive on that?"

"Oh you'd be surprised," Sandy nodded at me but looking at Kirsten, "but eventually the secrets come out."

"And some marriages can handle the truth an some can't." Kirsten replied.

Seth and I looked between Kirsten and Sandy both knowing that they were no longer talking about the Wards. I was grateful when the doorbell rang giving me a chance to get up from the table and out of the horribly awkward situation.

"Hey." Marissa smiled at me. "You doing alright?"

"I think we should go on a break." I told her quietly, sitting down on the front step.

"Because Luke has a gay dad?" she frowned at me joining me on the step. "That was a jo-"

"Don't." I told her, finding myself not only standing but pacing. "You just don't understand."

"Understand what? You never talk to me."

"You found me with a developing bruise on my chin from your ex-boyfriend and you were more concerned with the fact that I hadn't told you, this morning you were annoyed that I didn't tell you that Luke and I didn't talk about you."

"Are you scared of him?" she asked me, still sitting on the stoop.

"My whole life I have been surrounded by people that beat on me. When you know what that's like, ask me that question again." I told her walking back in the house, leaving her simply sitting there on my front step.

"Who was that?" Sandy called out to me having heard the door close behind me.

"Marissa." I said, joining them back at the table.

"She not joining us for dinner?" Kirsten asked. "We ordered plenty."

"Or shouldn't you two be running into the pool house giggling?" Seth frowned.

"Actually we broke up."

* * *

ALL WILL BECOME CLEAR. WATCH THIS SPACE.

R&R, thank you. Circus.


	13. The Best Chrismukkah Ever

Thanks for the responces guys, like always, I really apriciate them. Enjoy. Circus.

* * *

**The Best Chrismukkah Ever**

"So, what's it going to be, huh?" Seth asked me waving a menorah and candy cane in front of my face. "Christmas or Hanukkah?"

"Seth…" I batted the objects out of the way of the TV as I flicked through the channels, "I don't do holidays,"

"Yeah but you're a Cohen now, meaning you have to do the holidays." He smiled at me.

"I'm sensing that." I said, getting up and heading into the kitchen. "You want a soda?" I asked him throwing him a can of Diet Coke.

"Can you please focus?" He asked my placing the can on the side. "I want to talk to you about Chrismukkah?"

"Chrismukkah?" I snatched the candy cane from him and started sucking on it.

"That's right. It's the new holiday, Alex, and it's sweeping the nation."

"Hey guys," Sandy called out to us, "we got the tree." I ran out to the door to see him and Kirsten struggling to bring it in the house. I sat my Coke down and took the tree trunk from Kirsten, following Sandy into the lounge with it.

"Or at least the living room." Seth smiled at us, watching us work. "Real good work guys." He applauded us once we'd set the tree down.

"Couldn't have done it with out you man!" I sighed going back over to my can of Coke.

"I love the holidays." Seth smiled staring, almost maniacally at the tree. "I love them all."

"We didn't really know how to raise Seth." Kirsten told me as she passed me headed to the kitchen.

"Yeah, so I raised myself, and in doing so, I created the greatest super holiday known to mankind, drawing on the best that Christianity and Judaism have to offer."

"And you call it Chrismukkah? Why not Hanumas?" I asked pointing my candy cane at him.

"Because that, my stupid adopted sister, sounds too much like Humus. But just hearing you say Chrismukkah makes me feel all festive." I raised my eyebrow at him. "Allow me to elaborate." He walked over to Sandy still arranging the tree. "You see, for my father here, a poor struggling Jew growing up in the Bronx, well, Christmas meant Chinese food and a movie." He patted him on the shoulder before walking over to Kirsten. "And for my mom over here – WASPy McWASP – well, it meant a tree, it meant stockings and all the trimmings. Isn't that right?" he smiled at her.

"I'm not a WASP." Kirsten defended. "Am I?" she frowned at me.

"Well I am too." I shrugged at her. "Blonde hair, kinda blue eyes… Hitler would have been proud."

"Don't make Nazi jokes in front of the menorah." Seth scolded me, following me follow Kirsten into the kitchen. "Other highlights, of my fantabulous holiday, include eight days of presents followed by one day of many presents. So, what do you think?"

"I don't do holidays. I don't do much of anything involving religion and, or, Hallmark." I shrugged at him, making my way to sit back down in front of the TV.

"No way. You're a Cohen now!" Sandy said.

"Yeah Seth reminded me earlier with visual aids." I nodded at him, holding up my half finished candy cane.

"Hey, dip a toe in the Chrismukkah pool. There's room for all of us." Seth smiled at me, sitting besides me on the couch, squeezing my knee.

"Isn't there something in the Atwood family tradition that you would like to incorporate into Seth's uber holiday?" Kirsten asked me.

"You met my mom." I sighed at her. "And you read my dad's and brother's files." I told Sandy.

"Well, this year will be entirely different." Sandy smiled broadly.

"New memories. It'll be great." Kirsten told me.

"Oy humbug."

"See man," Seth smiled at me, "you're Jewing it up already."

"Which by the way," Sandy smiled, "is how Moses refers to it in the Torah."

"Religion and Hallmark," I sighed walking past them all to my room, having given up on finding anything to watch on TV, "I'm doomed."

* * *

"I was in the shower for five minutes," I sighed at Seth watching him wrap presents on my bed, "why is my room now Santa's workshop?"

"I see someone took down the wreath I hung on the door." He replied, not looking up from his wrapping.

"It was the Grinch. He wanted to steel Christmas," Seth looked up at me from the pile of presents, "Chrismukkah," I corrected, "but we fought it out and he made a run for it while I was unconscious. When I came to, the wreath was on the floor."

"From my experience, lying works better when its shorter."

"Get out of my room." I told him as I flicked through my CDs trying to find something to listen too.

"I just have to finish wrapping these two Seth Cohen starter packs." He turned round and smiled at me. "Holy baby Jesus you're in a towel."

"Yeah," I nodded, "now get out." I cranked up the music on my stereo, grabbed Seth by his collar and pulled him off my bed and out of my room.

* * *

"She's just so angry and violent at the moment." I stopped walking into the house hearing Seth's voice and knowing he was talking about me.

"This is why I think her talking to someone would be good for her." I shut my eyes as once again I was forced to overheard Kirsten talking about how I needed help. This was the first time she'd aired her thoughts to anyone other than Sandy though. "She seems to have taken this break up with Marissa really hard."

"She takes everything with Marissa really h- hey Alex." Seth smiled at me, stepping away from his mother at the island. "Mom's making a Chrismukkah list." He pointed at the paper Kirsten was doodling on.

"Yeah Alex what's your shoe size?"

"My shoe size is I don't need a shrink." I smiled at her, patting her on the shoulder as I headed to the fridge.

"I think, Mother, that is Alex's cunning way of telling us she heard our conversation."

"You should have been here when she overhead your dad and I talking about lesbian sex." She sighed.

"And that just booked me five years on the cou-" he cut himself off when he saw me looking at him over the fridge door, "not that that's cool, or uncool, I don't know, uh…" he looked to his mother for help.

"Just stop." She smiled reassuringly at him. "What's your shoe size?" she asked me again whilst pointing to the glass cupboard.

"I thought you guys said no gifts." I sighed pouring orange juice into glass.

"Hey I never agreed to that!" Seth said incredibly loudly with panic evident in his voice. "Hey thanks man." He said as he grabbed my glass from my hand.

"Well, we did, as in no gifts for us." Kirsten told me, ignoring her son hyperventilating in the corner.

"Well," Sandy sighed out, walking into the room, putting his mobile into his chest pocket. "Chrismukkah's ruined."

"Ah! Don't even say it, man. Come on. Chrismukkah is unruinable. It's got twice the resistance of any normal holiday."

"Your father just refused out latest settlement offer," Sandy told Kirsten, he too ignoring his son. "He wants to go to trial."

"That's not what he said yesterday. He said that if you met his offer…"

"Yeah, well as of this morning, Ebenezer Scrooge decides he wants to go to court, which means I'm going to have to spend the holidays going through file boxes and preparing for trail. With Rachel out of town…"

"Chrismukkah is ruined." She agreed. "Sooner or later, we will get through a holiday around here."

"Stop it, right now, okay?" Seth pleaded. "Don't give up on the miracle that is Chrismukkah. What is happening to you…? You'll see." He said into his coffee cup, "You'll see, too. You'll all see. You'll all see."

"I think you broke him." I told Sandy and Kirsten.

"I'm not broken, I can never be broken. Not with Chrismukkah on my side."

* * *

"I can't believe you dumped Marissa Cooper. I mean you hounded and harassed this girl since the first day you met and after only a few days of happiness."

"One, I neither hounded nor harassed and two, it was more than a few days." I told Seth as we walked through the corridor before school. "And its for the best, she didn't get me."

"I don't get you."

"You don't want to get me." I pointed at him as I opened my locker. "And that's different, I mean you and I are never going to have sex."

"That would be weird."

"Yeah I know," I frowned at him, before shaking my head. "So you spoken to Summer and, or, Anna?" I asked as I shoved books in my locker.

"You're doing that 'And, or' thing a lot at the moment." He frowned at me, leaning up against the lockers waiting for me. "And no, I think they're avoiding me."

"W-why, why would they being avoiding you?"

"What was that?" he pointed at me. "You stuttered, you never stutter. You know something."

"No I don't." I told him quickly, shutting my locker and making a break for homeroom. However, by trying to run away from Seth I ended up bumping into Marissa and Summer.

"Hey." I nodded at them.

"Hey," Marissa nodded back, looking away quickly whilst tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Hey." Seth smiled at Summer.

"Hey." Summer sighed guiltily back at him.

"So where's Anna?" I asked Summer, looking to get away from the horribly awkward silence that had fallen between us. Summer simply glared at me.

"I'm right here." Anna replied coming round the corner. "Wow this is awfully uncomfortable." She nodded round the group.

"Home room?" I asked her.

"Home room." Anna agreed.

We turned to leave but Marissa grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"Hey." She smiled at me, "Can we talk?"

"Uh, sure." I looked to Anna for help.

"Home room." She told me, walking off quickly to get registered before class.

"Sure." I repeated to Marissa following her into the girls bathroom. "Wow," I checked all the stalls and found us alone, "nobody's kissing."

"What?" she frowned at me before turning to the mirror and reapplying her lip gloss. "We used to hang out all the time, things shouldn't have to be weird between us."

"We used to make out and have sex all the time. Hey." I waved at the freshman who'd just walked through the door. "You want to eavesdrop on anymore of this conversation or you just want the transcript later?"

"Alex." Marissa laughed at me watching the girl quickly leave through the mirror. "Anyway, I think we should be friends. I mean we used to be friends."

"Okay friends." I nodded at her. "I can do that, w-we, we can do that."

"You know you're stuttering right?" She told me, turning round and finally dropping her lip gloss back into her purse. "What you doing tonight?"

"Going shopping at South Coast Plaza with Seth."

"Can I come? As a friend?"

"As a friend." I nodded back at her.

* * *

"So she's meeting us as your friend?" Seth frowned at me as we waited for Marissa in the food court of South Coast Plaza.

"Oh I'm a girl, I've already seen through it." I told him. "You have any cigarettes?" I asked him feeling my pockets. "I need a cigarette."

"Yes," he nodded at me, "you and Marissa being friends, its going to be fine."

"You think we could just bail. Go, now." I asked him.

"You need to shop."

"Who are we shopping for anyway?" Marissa asked us, approaching us with a Starbucks cup. "Sorry I'm late, the line was ridiculous."

"So," Seth clapped his hands together, "Chrismukkah shopping, is there any greater thing?"

"You mean apart from everything?" I sighed at him.

"Chrismukkah?" Marissa frowned at Seth and I as we started walking.

"She's having nicotine cravings," Seth pointed at me, "ignore her."

"Chrismukkah?" Marissa repeated following Seth and I into Barnes and Noble.

* * *

"Hey," Seth smiled at me walking into my room and plunking himself down in my chair.

"Why bother knocking it you're going to just walk in anyway?" I asked him as I fixed my dress in the mirror.

"You know you're in a dress right?" Seth frowned at me.

"Kirsten wanted me to dress up. Holidays." I shrugged at him.

"So you and Marissa were doing pretty good earlier. Having fun with the whole friend thing. I mean she was totally bonding with you about your whole antiestablishment, punching people and not frowning thing you like doing."

"Is that how you see me? And when has Marissa ever punched anyone?" I asked him, pulling out my pumps from my wicker wardrobe thing.

"Never, but she was bonding with you about it." He pointed at me.

"I see right through it, she doesn't want to be my friend." I sighed, walking into the main house.

"Of course not." Seth agreed, "So have we talked about your problems long enough now? Can we go back to focussing on me?"

"When don't we focus on you?" I asked him.

"Slightly more since you've gone even more into that whole not smiling, antiestablishment thing."

"How come you left out the punching people bit?" I frowned at him as we waited for Sandy and Kirsten in the hall.

"When was the last time you hit someone?"

"I could hit you?" I offered.

"Well you can tell we're going to a party now," Sandy smiled at us, "a fight is brewing."

* * *

"Mushroom-leek crescent? Crab and brie phyllo?"

"Do you ever serve different food?" I asked Seth as an oddly familiar guy passed us with a tray. "I mean what's wrong with a good tuna vol au vont?"

"You know you just said vol au vont right?" Seth frowned at me. "Anyway where do you think Summa and Anna will be I want to apologise to them."

"You still haven't done that?"

"Well they haven't really given me the chance what with the avoiding and all. Look," he pointed across the party, "once again they're together. And watch how they walk into the building together. I'm going to follow them." He told me handing me his drink.

"You might not want to do that Seth." I tried to call out to him but he simply yelled back something about camps and capturing flags. "I swear that boy is like seven." I sighed, knowing Marissa had come to stand next to me. "Is that Coke?" I asked her swapping drinks. "I don't actually like champagne."

"Uh, you might not… want to drink that." She finished watching me grimace from the taste of half of Russia in my mouth.

"What did a vodka factory piss of you off or something?" I asked her swapping drinks again. "That tastes like my mother mixed it."

"I don't do well at parties." She sighed.

"I remember. First party we were at together you had a litre of vodka in your purse." I smiled at her. She opened up her bag and showed me the contents. "You going to make me a drink then?"

"I'll be back with half a glass of Diet Coke." She smiled back at me.

"I'd better come with." I sighed, following her to the bar. "On second thoughts I might go track down Seth." I told her as I watched Julie make a beeline towards us.

"Ah Marissa, oh you wore the chenille how pretty, Alex," she paused as she looked me up and down, "you actually look nice, who designed your dress?"

"Are you complimenting me?" I frowned at her. "This is new, I have no idea what to do with this. I'm going to go." I told her pointing into building. "Hey man," I smiled at Seth sitting in the reception area, "what's up?"

"I lost them." He shrugged as I sat next to him. "I won awards at camp Tuckahoe."

"You know that I have no idea what you're talking, right?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "So I know why I'm sitting alone at a party. What are you doing here? Thought you and Marissa were doing that whole friend thing."

"We are, she is, I'm trying."

"Want to try that sentence again with more certainty?"

"Julie complimented me."

"Well this is a surreal turn." Seth nodded at me. "Me having lost two girls because I kissed them, you avoiding Marissa and Julie Cooper, _the_ Julie Cooper, Alex, complimented you."

"If you had predicted this when I first got here I would not have believed you."

"Well you never listen to a word I say anyway." Seth nodded at me.

"This is true." I nodded back.

"Hey guys." Marissa smiled at us. "I have just royally pissed off my mother. Can we get out of here?"

"Not a single one of us is good to drive." I sighed at her.

"Can we at least hide?" She tried again.

"My mom's office?" Seth suggested getting to his feet and leading the way.

"You know what I don't think I've ever been in your mom's office before." I told him as we walked down the corridor.

"I try to avoid it as much as possible." Seth nodded opening the office and flipping on the lights. "Holly Moses of Israel."

I simply grabbed Marissa's purse and sat down on one of Kirsten's couches as I watched Summer and Anna try and explain to Seth why they were making out in the dark, Summer strangely in a Wonder Woman outfit.

"This should be interesting." Marissa told me as she took the open bottle of vodka out of my hand and joined me on the sofa.

"I have been in a lot of situations involving both lesbians and love triangles but this one is new, even for me."

"Maybe this break thing is a good idea." Marissa finally conceded looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Anna's not the only one with sage wisdom." I told her taking back the vodka. "Tenner says Summer leaves first."

"Fifteen says Anna chases after her." Marissa shook my hand.

"And we're quiet." I told the three of them, noticing them all of them looking at Marissa and I with annoyance. "You can go back to your whatever it is you're doing."

"I'm, I'm leaving." Summer said, zipping up her black dress and running out the room.

"Summer." Anna called out after her.

"Good call." I nodded at Marissa.

"I hate girls." Seth sighed, slumping himself down on the floor in front of us, I simply passed him down the bottle of vodka. "I'm swearing off them."

"By the looks of things they're swearing off you." I told him taking the bottle back. "And, uh, boys in general."

"This is low even for me." He sighed, snatching the bottle back. "I don't suppose either of you brough mixer did you." He asked both grimacing and coughing.

"What are you doing in here?" Kirsten asked slamming open the door. "We've been looking for you all evening."

"We were finding Seth's women." I told her trying to get up and then simply falling back down again. "Wow, that was harder than I had envisioned."

"Where's Seth?" She frowned, her hand firmly on her hip.

"I think he's asleep behind the sofa."

"Marissa?" Julie called, walking in behind Kirsten. "What have you done with my daughter now?"

"How is it that even after we break up everything is my fault?" I asked her trying to stand up again.

"You broke up?"

"Yes." I nodded at her, leaning on the desk for support.

"Car, now." Kirsten pointed out of her office door.

"Gone, going, trying." I told her, tripping over Marissa's shoe and landing flat on my face.

* * *

The sunlight blaring through my many glass panels woke me up. I instinctively drew my covers over my head and tried to get my head to stop pounding. My overwhelmingly full bladder, however, forced me out of my bed and forced me to acknowledge not only the new day but the blinding sunlight.

I came out of the bathroom, with less in my stomach than when I had entered it, and found Sandy sitting in one of my chairs.

"Sixteen."

"What?" I frowned at him, "Are those painkillers?" I pointed to two white tablets sitting on the table next to him.

"Yes," he pushed them to the side though, "you can have them after we've talked."

"Sixteen what?" I asked him, sitting back down on my bed.

"Years old." He told me, sipping from his coffee. "What the hell are you and Seth drinking like that?"

"I don't deal well with holidays." I told him, looking anywhere in room but at him.

"And drinking until you pass out is going to solve that. Seth's still sleeping it off." He told me pointing into the house.

"If you're going to give me the speech where you tell me I'm corrupting Seth… Kirsten already gave it to me." My arms were folded and I was suddenly standing.

"Actually I'm giving you the speech where I'm here to tell you that Marissa Cooper is corrupting you."

"What?" I frowned at him.

"With everything you went through with your mom-"

"Don't, I'm not talking to about it." I told him. "You think you know because of all your years in the PD's office, you don't know shit about living with an alcoholic homophobic mother who beat you."

"No I don't." he said, joining me standing and passing me my pain killers. "Which is why as part of your punishment you are going to agree to going to counselling."

"I don't need a shrink." I told him, taking his coffee so I could swallow my pain killers.

"After all you just shouted at me, do you really believe that." Once again I was forced to look away from him. "Besides, if you ever want to leave this house again, you're going."

* * *

I sat in the reception area of the Wellbeing Clinic flicking through magazines and forced to listen to the insufferable tones of what could only be described as 'elevator music'. After going through all the pile of magazines and finding not a single one with even the slightest mention of music in them I finally gave up waiting for my appointment.

"I came here three times before I actually walked through that door..." I looked across the room and found boy looking back at me, "I know you, you go to Harbour, right?"

"Everyone seems to know me. You go there?"

"No I go to Pacific," he held out his hand, "Oliver Trask." I ignored it and went back to heading for the door. "For someone that knows a lot of people you don't seem all that friendly."

"I don't know people, people know me." I told him, looking for the receptionist so I could tell her I was leaving.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked me, closing his book and putting it on the table besides him.

"Nothing." I told him simply.

"Then one might suggest you're in the wrong place?" I simply glared at him. "Okay," he smiled at me, "you're not an alcoholic… you're not the type to be suicidal… your outfit shows me that you're not a cutter…"

"You going to psychoanalyse me all afternoon?" I asked him, ringing the bell for the receptionist. "I mean I have things to do, a life to lead."

"That's why you're here." He said, standing up and joining me at reception, "You're depressed."

"You just listed three symptoms of depression." I smiled at him, an eyebrow raised. "And yet told me that I didn't suffer from any of them."

"Alex Altwood?" The boy and I spun round and found a middle aged woman leaning on the doorframe to her office.

"So you going in?" he asked me.

"Do you ever stop talking?" I asked him, walking into the doctor's office.

I sat down on a square leather chair and watched her sit down on the sofa opposite. She pulled out the pen from behind her ear and started to note on her clipboard without me even having said a word to her.

"So," she smiled, looking up from her notes, "why do you think you're here?"

I sat there in silence, staring out the window simply thinking about that question. There were so many answers I could give her, none of them likely to bare any semblance of the truth. After a while I told her about my mother, I talked about my father and brother's love of stealing things, I told her about jail, about Sandy, the Cohens and Newport. Eventually I told her about Marissa, I told her about Luke, I talked to her about high school.

"What you doing now?" the boy asked me when I emerged back into the waiting area. "You want to get a drink?"

"I hate to sound like Will Hunting but," I smiled at him, "I'm sorry but I have to go and see about a girl."

* * *

"Hey Mr C," I smiled at Jimmy when he finally opened the door after rapping on it for like two minutes solid. "Is Marissa in?"

"Sure. Marissa!"

"What is it Dad?" She frowned at me, before seeing me standing at the door. "Hey." She smiled at me.

"So I'm going to go stand somewhere that isn't here." Jimmy nodded at us.

"You fancy going down to the beach," I smiled back at her, "the tide's about to change."

* * *

R&R, thank you. Circus.


	14. The Lies We Tell

**The Lies We Tell**

"It was nothing." I told Seth as I poured myself a cup of coffee. "We just went down to the beach and made out."

"When do you ever just make out with girls?" He asked me. "If one of us is getting laid I feel we should celebrate this fact, or at least talk about it." Seth shrugged, sipping from his coffee.

"Have you ever had sex?"

"Define sex." He frowned at me.

"Something you are not going to be having until you are thirty or your mother will kill me." Sandy told him as he walked over to the coffee pot.

"Why am I killing you?" Kirsten asked Sandy walking into the kitchen and taking the coffee he'd just poured.

"Have you noticed how this always happens in the morning?" Seth asked me, pointing as his mother's confusion.

"You think we'd have learnt to either talk in the pool house or at least wait until both your parents are in the room to start." I nodded.

"Well you're in a good mood." Sandy smiled at me. "You have a new girl?"

"Actually its an old girl." I told him, taking the bagel he'd just smeared.

"She's eating breakfast," Kirsten pointed at me eating Seth's bagel, "she's sleeping with Gabrielle again."

"You knew about that?" I frowned at them.

"Yes and it was oddly disturbing for all parties involved." Sandy nodded.

"I can't believe she's back in town after running off with six grand of my father's money."

"She's not, its not her." I told them, finishing my bagel half and sitting my coffee cup down. "Its Marissa." I said quietly, trying to leave for my room.

"Whoa." Sandy put a hand on my chest and pushed me back, "Not so fast, you can't just walk out of here after telling us you're seeing your ex-girlfriend."

"I am the way I am for a reason, Alex." Seth pointed at his father and smiled.

"Seth, why don't you go to your room." Kirsten told him.

"Is this an intervention?" I asked them watching Seth leave us muttering about comedy relief. "Cause I'm old enough to pick my own friends, girlfriends, whatever."

"Given your history with Marissa we're not so sure." Sandy said folding his arms.

"Kirsten…" I pleaded to her.

"We can't stop you seeing her, and we're not going to," she smiled at me gently before turning back to her serious stance. "Ten o'clock weeknight curfew, midnight Friday and Saturdays. No Marissa until after your homework is done."

"It's the holidays." I told her, turning back to Sandy to appeal to him, "Don't you think you guys are over reacting?"

"You're still grounded." He pointed at me.

"So now can I go to the pool house?" I asked him, walking out and making sure to slam my bedroom door behind me as loudly as I could.

* * *

"I can't believe you took me to see a kid's film for our first date." Marissa sighed at me as we stood on the driveway of my house.

"It wasn't that bad, and besides it had Jodie Foster in it." She simply looked at me, "Okay," I conceded, "but given my grounding and being forced to sneak out; options were not on my side. Besides," I pulled her towards me, "I've always been a fan of spontaneous first dates."

"You risked a lot to take me to a bad movie." She smiled at me before kissing me.

"Well I, I-I, I wanted to tell you, to tell you, that, uh, I-"

"You're stuttering again, you're doing that a lot lately, you know that right?"

"Hey," I sighed, pulling back, "give a girl a break. Its not easy trying to tell someone that you love them."

"You love me?" she frowned, pulling me back towards her.

"I thought that was obvious with the whole tide changing, life risking; Sandy's going to kill me." My hand was at my temple rubbing my eyes before turning to the house to check to see that nobody was up.

"Alex."

"Yeah?" I said turning back to her, just to be pulled into a kiss.

"I love you too."

"Yeah?" I smiled back at her.

"I thought that was obvious with the whole friends thing, drinking and not allowing you to be by yourself during our break up."

"Yeah," I nodded at her, unable to shake the smile from my face, "I saw right through th-"

I was cut off by Marissa's lips once again on mine, her hands desperately feeling my body, her tongue battling with mine.

"You want to, uh," she nodded towards the back yard and the pool house within it.

I simply kissed her quickly once more before pulling her through the yard behind me. I opened my door, with my hand forced behind my back as Marissa turned me round to kiss me once more, the door swung open and banged against the wall, Marissa simply kicked it shut as she continued to kiss me, pushing me down onto the bed beneath her.

"And there was me thinking I was the only girl for you." We looked up and found a girl standing in the doorway of my en suit wearing my CBGB shirt.

"Hailey," Marissa sighed getting up and straitening out her skirt, "what are you doing here, though you were building Churches in Costa Rica."

"Hailey?" I pointed to the girl still leaning against my doorway, "Kirsten's sister Hailey?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "who are you and what are you doing with my girlfriend in my pool house?"

"Your girlfriend?" I asked her, looking at Marissa.

"She isn't my girlfriend." Marissa sighed, tucking a stay piece of hair behind my ear. "She was a stupid affair I had last summer." She corrected Hailey, over pronouncing the word 'stupid.'

"You know what?" I nodded at the girl still leaning against my doorway. "Keep the pool house." I grabbed the blanket from the bottom of my bed and walked into the house, making sure to slam my bedroom door as loudly as I could behind me.

* * *

I didn't sleep that night. I sat up in front of the TV; letting it illuminate me in the darkness of the living room but not watching it. My mind was back in the pool house, stuck in the moment where a stranger told me that my girlfriend had done nothing but lie to me.

I was only there because of those stupid counselling sessions. The woman made me talk about Marissa, she made me really examine the relationship when at that point I really just wanted it to go away. I'd been putting it down to a lack of judgement, to her being the first girl I'd seen, to her simply being the bloody girl next door. However, as I kept talking to the doctor, as she nodded along to my story, I realised that the reason that Marissa wouldn't go away was the same reason I was so reluctant to be her friend.

The night was meant to be perfect; I'd managed to escape from Sandy, taken her on the first date we'd never had and told her I loved her. All I had to do was sneak her in and then back out of the pool house… And yet Hailey happened. Hailey, a relative I have never met, told me something Marissa should have told me.

So I simply sat up and watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

* * *

I woke up slowly, Kirsten and Sandy trying to figure out the crossword. I pulled the blanket back over my head and tried to close my eyes and my brain out to the world around me. That was until I heard Seth come into the kitchen.

"Whoa separate seats you guys, come on. There's no sex in the champagne room."

"Good morning to you too," I heard Kirsten reply, "where are you going?"

"To wake up Alex."

"She's asleep in the living room."

"No she's not." I told Sandy, getting up and walking slowly to the coffee pot, my blanket wrapped round me.

"Whoa, you look like death." Seth smiled at me. "What were you doing in the family room?"

"Watching MTV2." I told him, passing him my coffee and pouring another cup simply to save time.

"You were agonising?" Seth frowned at me, I simply shrugged.

"How did he get that simply from the TV channel?" Kirsten asked Sandy.

"You have a TV in the pool house though." Sandy frowned at me, ignoring his wife's confusion.

"Yeah well your sister-in-law ruined that." I sighed.

"Hailey's here? You-you saw her you were talking to her or, uh… Did she say why she was here?" Kirsten stuttered out at me as she rung her hands through starting to pace the kitchen.

"Glad to see I'm not the only one not happy about Hailey being here." I sighed, hugging my coffee and my blanket close to me as Sandy talked about money.

"Come on Aunt Hailey is awesome." Seth smiled at me.

"That can be debated from where I'm standing." I told him.

"Hailey's here." Kirsten laughed nervously, taking the milk carton from me and drinking from it.

"Hey guys, guess whose back." Hailey smiled at us.

"I'm guessing its not your suitcases as your still in my clothes." I mumbled taking me and my blanket to find some food.

"H-hello Hailey." Sandy stuttered, studying his paper a little too hard, trying to avoid seeing his sister in law in just my CBGB T-shirt and knickers.

"Aunt Hailey," Seth laughed nervously, "later, when you're dressed we'll hug."

"Seth robe her, now." Kirsten barked at him.

"There you are." He following his mother's orders and handed his dressing gown it over.

"Happy New Year everyone." She smiled as she donned Seth's dressing gown but leaving it open, ruining the point.

"Happy New Year to you." Seth nodded at her, pulling her in for a hug.

"Hi." Kirsten said as Hailey hugged Seth. "We would of come and picked you up," she hugged her, "at the airport or the train station-"

"Or the border." Sandy chimed in.

"Yeah well it was late an my cell phone got shut off." She explained.

"When you ran out of money?" Sandy questioned.

"So your gonna stay with us..." Kirsten asked her, ignoring Sandy's comment. "for some time?"

Hailey simply shrugged as she went over to the coffee pot and poured a cup.

"I'm gonna make up the guest bedroom." She turned to Sandy. "Bedding. Sheets. Now."

"Married seventeen years," he said standing up, "the first things that go are the full sentences, welcome back." He hugged Hailey before following his wife.

"Thanks," she called after him. "Looking good Nephew Seth."

"Thank you, puberty happened." He smiled at her.

"Its only been, like, eighteen months."

"Yeah," he nodded, "puberty happened, be glad you missed it! Oh check this out though," he pulled on the collar of his T to reveal a bit of his chest.

"Oh chest hair and a new friend." She smiled looking over to me in the corner, which I'd situated my self so I could stay out of the 'hello's and eat my cereal in peace.

"Yeah that's Alex she's, uh,… she's kind of a long story."

"Uh-huh," she nodded shooting me a glare as she did so, "so now that your a man what are the New Years Eve plans, got any girls to kiss?"

"Well I had two and, uh, now they kiss each other."

"Isn't every young studs dream, to have girls kiss each other?" She smiled at him.

"That is a good spin," he nodded, "and they did kiss in front of me."

"Well then." She smiled at him. "So what you going to do tonight?"

"I'm gonna do whatever Alex and Marissa do." He shrugged. "What are you doing by the way?" he asked me drawing me into the conversation for the first time.

"Nothing. We're grounded remember." I told him, dumping my bowl in the sink.

"You have no romantic plans for her?" Hailey asked me, a horrible smarmy smile covering her face.

"Sod off."

"That's some language you're new friend knows," Hailey told Seth, not taking her eyes from mine. "She kiss her mother with that mouth?"

"Okay," Seth said slowly, slipping in between us, "going to play referee guy here, before this all turns into a bad 'Yo Mama' joke."

"I'm going to my room. Your crap will be dumped outside it." I told Hailey brushing past her so I could get in the shower and finally change my clothes.

* * *

"So you've kicked Hailey out I see." Marissa said, knocking lightly on my open door before stepping in.

"Why, are you here to see her?" I asked her not looking up from my book.

"Can we not go one week without you being pissed at me?" She asked me coming to sit besides me.

"We could if you hadn't lied to me." I shrugged, still pretending to read my book.

"Technically I never lied." I looked over at her. "I just-"

"Look its not big deal."

"Are you being passive aggressive?" she frowned at me.

"I don't do passive aggressive, I do aggressive aggressive."

"Yeah I know, which is why this is weird." She sighed. "I'm sorry I never told you about Hailey." She said after a while of silence between us where I read the same sentence over and over again. "It didn't mean anything, it was just Hailey doing what Hailey does best – having fun, regardless of the consequences."

"And you?"

"I was fifteen and rebelling against my mother, against Newport, against this whole Newpsie society."

"And me?"

"You're something real." She told me quietly.

"I want to be something real." I told her, just as quietly and looking at her for the first time.

"Wow," she smiled at me nervously, "that's it? No jealousy, no can throwing, no threats?"

"I trust you." I said simply. "I sat up all last night watching MTV2 and I've been thinking about it. It makes sense. Given how long it took me to convince you that you had feelings for me; its no surprise that you wouldn't admit to having a lesbian relationship before me." She opened her mouth, I simply put my finger over her lips to silence her. "That is not to say I'm not pissed off."

"So that passive aggressive thing was short lived, huh?" She tried to smile at me.

"I just wish you'd told me." I told her, turning back to my book.

"You're going to get passed this, right?" She asked me taking my book from me to guarantee my full attention, something that she already had – a fact I was simply trying to hide from her.

"I got over the Luke thing didn't I?" I tried to give her a reassuring smile but it kind of back fired. "Anyway, moving swiftly on."

"Please." She relaxed, moving my arm so she could sit in my nook.

"My friends throwing a party tonight." I passed her Oliver's flyer from my bedside table. "What you think?"

"I think your friend has way too much time and not enough Clip Art."

"Oliver's alright." I shrugged. "A little bit weird but that's to be expected."

"Oliver?" She frowned at me.

"Oliver Trask, I met him at counselling."

"You made a friend in therapy?" she frowned at me again. "That's kinda weird."

"How is that weird?" I asked her, taking the flyer back. "Sounds like the kinda thing you would do. But if you don't want to go to the pent house suit of the Four Seasons…"

"Pent house? Four Seasons?" I simply nodded. "Meet you there at ten."

* * *

"Marissa and my Aunt Hailey?" Seth paused the game so he could look at me. "Get out… though that does sound like the kind of thing Hailey would do." He conceded. "So that why you were with the whole MTV2 last night?"

"So she didn't tell me, its not that bigger deal is it?" I frowned at him.

"Are you asking me for relationship advice?" he frowned back.

"Yeah this is more of an Anna thing." I nodded. "Pass me the phone. Thanks. What's Anna's number?" I asked him after getting only as far as the area code.

"I'm a child of the 21st Century, Alex, I don't call people."

"This has become so much harder than I though." I sighed, passing him back the phone. "So advice, now, please."

"From what I've seen on the TV you have two ways of going about this," he told me, tapping his index finger on his chin. "You can either go all jealous and moody – a thing you do very well – that will no doubt end up in a second break up in as many weeks. Or you can lie and tell her your fine about it."

"I am fine about it."

"Yeah, which is why you're taking relationship advice from me." He smiled smugly starting up the game again. "But you know I am a little fuzzy on your guys relationship so perhaps you have some photos or video that, or things you-" he stopped talking when I punched him on the arm. "Or not." He said simply.

"That's what I though."

"Why are you guys not dressed?" Hailey asked us, walking in and straight in front of the TV.

"Hey," I pointed at the TV behind her, "we're playing a game here."

"Hey Aunt Hailey." Seth simply smiled at her.

"You told him?" She frowned at me, shutting off the TV entirely.

"Had to tell someone," I shrugged, "next time I'll talk to Kirsten if you'd prefer."

"Hey, hey Aunt Hailey." Seth repeated staring at his Aunt.

"Dude, that's your Aunt." I sighed, hitting him again. "And," I turned back to Hailey, "we were playing that."

"Don't you have like a party or something to go to?" She frowned at me. "What kind of loosers are you?"

"Not winning any friends here." I sighed at her, brushing past her and switching the TV back on. "Great," I sighed, gesturing at to the dead man lying on the ground in the game, "you killed me."

"How do you ever get laid?" She asked me.

"Why don't you ask Marissa."

"Am I going to have to separate you two again?" Seth asked, watching us interact from the sofa. "Look," he stood up and stepped between us, "are you here for Marissa?" he asked Hailey.

"No," she almost laughed, "that was just a fling, it would be like returning to the scene of the crime."

"Do you want me to hit you?" I asked her, appalled at not only her phrasing but her attitude towards Marissa as well.

"Look you and your girlfriend are safe; I was just kidding around." She sighed. "Where did you find her?" Hailey asked Seth not taking her eyes off me.

"Jail." He said simply.

"Explains a lot." She nodded, looking me up and down.

"Standing right here." I complained at the two of them.

"So are the two of you going out or what? Its New Years Eve."

"We just have to wait for Sandy and Kirsten to leave." I explained, sitting back down and starting the game over.

"Well that's something every parent wants to hear." Sandy sighed, as he sorted out his cuff links. "Go on you two," he nodded at Seth and I, "go get dressed you have one night off your punishments?"

"Really?" I frowned at him.

"You can stay here if you want to." He shrugged as Kirsten walked in to the room behind him.

"And we're dressing." Seth said as we both ran to our rooms.

* * *

"So you're going for the waistcoat again, huh?" Seth smiled leaning against the hall table as he waited for me.

"I think I work it." I smiled at him. "Can I pull of yellow?"

"The T-shirt is fine," he sighed, "god you're turning into me."

"You guys look hot." Hailey smiled at us.

"Too hot?" Seth asked her, "cause I'm trying to keep a low profile these days."

"What do you think of my T-shirt?"

"'Mischief'?" She questioned. "Try 'Angry and punchy'."

"Well that one was in the wash." I told her. "So, in the spirit of the holidays and forgiveness and all that crap; you want to come to this party?" I asked her.

"Nah I'm gonna… hang out, take it easy, lay low." She told us, opening the door.

At which point a stream of people ran past us and into the house, all clearly trashed already and all in the house for a party.

"Take it easy?" I shouted above the new found noise.

"Lay low?"

"Just a couple of friends." She reasoned as a guy smashed a table lamp and a sofa got turned over and covered in silly string.

"Oh this is not good." Seth told me as Hailey went to join her friends and left us to watch the chaos break out from the hall way.

"Not so much," I sighed. "Coming?" I asked him nodding towards the door.

"You can't go." Seth looked at me panic stricken. "The house will get trashed."

"Will be nice for someone else to be in trouble for a change." I shrugged, heading out to the car.

"Are you serious?" Seth asked me, standing between me and the door.

"There's nothing we can do. You want to tell them they can't have their party?" I asked him, pointing back into the house.

"I was hoping you would do it." He said, looking at me pathetically. "You Atwood's thrive on confrontation."

"What happened to me being a Cohen now?" I asked him.

"You can be a Cohen when the party's over."

"How bout no." I told him, pushing past him and getting into the car. "From the way I see it, you can either tell your Aunt she's not having her party and not get listened to or go to one of your own." I started up the engine. "Coming?" He simply looked at me. "Come on, already, I've got to pick up Anna."

"And I'm staying here." He sighed. "Have fun."

"You too." I laughed, shaking my head at him as I drove off to get Anna.

* * *

"What up Holmes?" Anna smiled at me as she piled into the car besides me. "Where's Seth?"

"Trying to stop his aunt, Marissa's ex-girlfriend, from having a party." I told her, speeding off downtown.

"I have no idea which part of that sentence to focus on." She told me. "Ask me where Summer is."

"Where's Summer?" I asked her, turning on the radio.

"Don't ask." She sighed, switching stations. "What?" she smiled innocently when I glared at her, "I don't like that song."

"Where's Summer?"

"She does not wish to pursue her foray into the world of LGBT." Anna sighed.

"I had that with Marissa." I told her.

"What you do?"

"According to Seth I 'hounded and harassed' her until I got her to admit her feelings; I don't like to phrase it like that though." I smiled at her. "Look, she can't fall for you if you're not there to catch her."

"How'd you get so wise?"

"I know people." I smiled at her as I stopped the car in front of the Four Season's valet guys. I jumped out and threw the keys at one of them. "Don't scratch her." I told him before walking into the hotel with Anna.

"'Don't scratch her'?" She looked at me with her eyebrow raised as we waited for the elevator. "It's a Range Rover not a sports car."

"I've just always wanted to say that." I smiled back at her stepping into the lift. "I think you'll like Oliver, he's like an over confident Seth."

"I thought that was me." She smiled as the lift ascended.

"No, you're the wise Seth." I nodded at her.

"We are at the penthouse of the Four Seasons." Anna smiled at me as the doors opened to reveal Oliver's party.

"That we are." I nodded back at her.

"You know what I am going to spend this party not thinking about Summer or her fears about being with a girl. I am going to drink and be merry." She nodded at me.

"What happened to the whole 'falling and catching' plan?" I asked her.

"That was your plan." She told me picking up a glass of champagne from the side. "This is mine." She held it up, as if to say 'cheers' and downed it.

"For a smart girl you're really stupid, you know that right?"

"Hey Alex." Oliver smiled at me.

"Hey Oliver." I nodded back at him. "Is Marissa here yet?" I asked him looking round the party.

"Yeah," he grabbed my hand and led me round to his kitchen area, "we were just getting to know each other."

"Hey honey," she smiled at me, leaning over the small island to kiss me on the cheek, "Oliver was just telling me about Natalie."

"Oh yeah?" I hopped onto the counter top, "She here?"

"Long story," he sighed, "long distance relationship, y'know, those are always so fraught with peril. Anyway she's a freshman at Arizona."

"Older women are all over the place today aren't they." I sighed back at him, as Marissa just hit me on the arm.

"What was that for?" I asked her.

"What was that for?" she asked me. "You said you were cool with it."

"Wow." He nodded at us. "I'm going to, uh, go over there." He pointed across the room before walking through the people to the stereo.

"I am, I'm trying anyway." I corrected when she cocked her head to the side and simply looked at me with disbelief.

"Where's Seth?" She asked me after an awkward silence between us.

"Back at the house, trying to stop Hailey from tearing it apart. Where's Summer?"

"She's at home watching VH1."

"She's wallowing?" I asked her.

"And ran out of episodes of The Valley to watch." Marissa nodded, sinking us back into silence. "This shouldn't be so hard." She sighed.

"Yeah I know." I agreed, jumping off the counter top and pulling her towards me. "Want to blow this joint?"

"Are you offering me drugs?" She frowned at me.

"No I'm saying lets just go somewhere, you and me, and reconnect. Forget about Luke, forget Hailey."

"My dad's out." She smiled at me.

"Come on." I held out my hand, which she took, and led her out of the party and out of the hotel.

* * *

Marissa pulled out the sofa so she'd made her bed and we laid there watching Bring It One, mainly so Marissa could sing along with the opening scene. Eventually as she got bored and I woke up we started kissing, kissing lead to clothes being shed and eventually Marissa was back to lying in my nook stroking my naked body as I simply tried to stay awake.

"We're going to be alright, right?" She asked me as she ran her fingers along my bare chest, playing with the curves of my breasts.

"Of course we are." I lied to her, kissing her forehead.

The truth of the matter was, I no longer knew. I thought nothing mattered as long as you loved a person. You could shut out all your fears and insecurities. You could put a lid on all their negative qualities, whilst trying to suppress yours. But it doesn't work like that.

The truth of the matter was, I was no longer sure that love was enough.

* * *

**Sorry this chapter took so long – it has literally gone through so many phases its unreal; everything I though I was going to do with this chapter went out the window.**

**Please let me know what you though – good, bad, indifferent; I don't care, just I know longer know what I'm going to do for the next few chapters. I'm open to options and I'm putting it to you and those reading on z7./TheOCsMarissaAndAlex for what to do with the chapters between this one and Theresa's return. So please review cause quite simply you get to have your say. Tell me what you want.**

**Thank you, Circus.**


	15. The Past Girl

**The Past Girl**

"Hey buddy," Seth smiled storming into my room, shutting off the MTV2 I was watching, "got some big news."

"Yeah?" I sighed as sat on my bed shoving books into my school bag, "Cause I was just about to head into the house for coffee before school."

"Well, I don't know if I just mentioned this but I have some big news."

"So you said." I nodded at him. "Is it you telling Anna that Summer came over New Years Eve whilst she was passed out on Oliver's sofa?"

"No I'm avoiding that conversation especially considering I am now a man." He smiled, thowing his hands up in celebration, "I'm a man, and not just like an after your Bamitzvah man but a man-man." I looked up and allowed him my full attention for the first time in ages. "I had sex with a girl." He continued to beam at me.

"How was it?"

"I had sex." He simply repeated.

"That bad?" He just nodded. "Trust me it would have been worse for her."

"No – not that bad…"

"I wasn't dissing your, no doubt, mad skills," I tried to reassure him as I put on my Chucks, "just every girls' first time sucks."

"Summer's not a virgin." He frowned at me, watching me put on my sneakers.

"She talk about sex a lot, really confident about it?" He nodded both times. "Yeah, she was a virgin."

"Oh god," he sat down next to me, "we went about this all wrong."

"Yeah well," I patted him on the shoulder as I got up, "when you do it again-"

"Again?" he cut into my sentence following me out of my room, "But it was so weird…"

"Weird?" I frowned at him pouring a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, but not kinky weird more like weird awkward. But hey you know what it was my first time, and I did make some faces in the middle that I wish that I could uh take back but I cant and there's also sort of a whiney noise that came out towards the end-"

"I'm so glad your parents aren't here to witness this lovely conversation." I sighed, wishing so much that I wasn't either.

"I sucked so bad. I was like a fish flopping around on dry land. Alex, I was Nemo an I just wanted to go home.

"If you want another shot I would avoid using Finding Nemo as an analogy for your first shot." I told him passing him the remains of my coffee to save him from steeling it.

"See," he pointed the cup at me, "this is what I need, tricks of the trade."

"You want advice from me, an out and proud lesbian, about heterosexual sex?"

"An out and proud lesbian who experimented with boys whilst I was playing Magic."

"You still play Magic."

"Yeah but not as much. Come on Alex you must have some sage wisdom that you wish to impart to me."

"You're confusing me with Anna, why don't you ask her about your sex life." I pointed at him, talking back my cup and putting it in the sink. "Come on it's the first day of school, we don't want to be late."

"'Cept we're not going." Seth said quickly, sitting down at the bench bar, I simply looked at him confused. "Look, Summer and I had sex, granted it was fish sex-"

"Don't say fish sex."

"We had sex, she's going to be all over me at school today, and we haven't told Anna yet – badness, Alex, that can only lead to badness."

"Seth." I sighed at him. "You two are going to have to tell her at some point."

"Okay what about you?" he quickly pointed at me. "You're still watching MTV2 and finding lame excuses to avoid talking to Marissa. You want to be trapped at school with her all day?"

"Yeah, we're not going to school today." I agreed, sitting next to him at the counter.

* * *

Sandy drove us to school whilst Seth and I simply stared out of our perspective windows slowly panicking about seeing our perspective girlfriends.

I was trying. I really was. So was she.

During the last week of the holidays she'd begged me to teach her how to surf, despite the cold winter water. We'd gone to see the new Iron Man film with Seth and Summer. We'd gone shopping, well window shopping, looking at shoes and lip gloss. She was trying, I was trying, it was a try-athon; both of us so keen to stop fighting and bickering. Yes, we'd stopped fighting and bickering but the problem was we'd stopped talking altogether.

"Alright kids," Sandy smiled at us, turning round to look at me especially, "first day of a whole new semester."

"Still the same kids, Dad." Seth sighed looking out the window at a bunch of cheerleaders walking by.

"And still the same teachers." I sighed watching Bendis unpack his car.

"You know you two are starting to blend into each other right?" Sandy said, looking between us.

"Yeah but she still uses less syllables to convey what she wants to say." Seth replied still staring out of the window. "Do we have to go to school?"

"Don't you want to see Summer?" Sandy asked him.

"Think he wants to avoid Anna more." I told him. "You think Marissa is going to be here?" I asked Seth scanning the crowd for her.

"Not you too?" Sandy sighed, leaning past Seth and opening the passenger side door. "Out both of you."

"Thanks Dad, this sympathetic ear you've given us, I won't forget it." Seth nodded at him, grabbing his bag and hopping out of the car.

"I think that was Seth for 'Are you sure we can't stay home?'" I smiled at Sandy before following Seth's lead and stepping out onto the sidewalk. "Looks like we're going to school." I nodded at Seth watching Sandy drive off.

"How long you think we can go before we bump into one of the girls?" Seth asked me as we watched Sandy's car shrink into the distance.

"I don't know that depends on whether or not you turn around." We spun round and found Anna standing there.

"Hey Anna." Seth waved pointlessly.

"Hey you." I smiled at her. "Is Marissa here?"

"You're not still avoiding her are you?" She sighed at me, linking her arm in mine steering me in the direction of homeroom.

"You two are close?" Seth pointed between us. "When did this happen?" Anna and I simply shrugged. "I feel I should be bonding with Oliver since you took my friend."

"Seth," Anna tilted her head at him, "I'm still your friend."

"Yeah?" He frowned at her. "Despite Thanksgiving and the lesbianism?"

"And on that note I walk over." Marissa frowned between us. "New semester excited?"

"I think this is one of our cue's to tell her that we're really not." I told Seth. "Come on." I nodded towards the main building.

"Sure that's one plan." Seth agreed running round me and reaching into my skirt pocket. "Another is you telling us why your ringtone is Sk8er Boi."

"Sk8er Boi?" Marissa smiled at me.

"Gimme that." I sighed at Seth, grabbing my cell from him and flipping it open. "Hello?"

"_What are you doing tonight?_" Oliver asked me.

"Given recent activities most likely surfing." I sighed down the other end, walking away from the other three.

"_You and Marissa still not all that then?_"

"Coming from the boy that still hasn't heard from his girlfriend?"

"_That would be where you are wrong_," I actually heard him smile down the other end at me, "_she's flying over for the week I want you to meet her_."

"I may have to bring four others." I warned him looking at Seth, Marissa, Anna and Summer all standing awkwardly, no doubt exchanging pleasantries, around Summer's open locker. "But count me in. When's Natalie coming?"

"_Tonight._"

"Good for me, and most likely the others too. See you later, man." I told him flipping my cell shut. "Oliver wants to know if we want to go over to his tonight." I told the guys walking back over to them.

"I have to baby-sit the step-monster," Summer sighed slamming her locker shut, "Dad's out of town and she's on new anti-depressants." She shrugged.

"And I have to do my French homework." Anna told us.

"You know I could do it for you in like five minutes." I offered.

"Yeah, but then what would I learn from that. Come on," she held out her arm, "we have homeroom."

"See you later," I smiled, kissing Marissa on the cheek, "and goodbye to the rest." I waved at the other two as Anna lead me to registration.

* * *

School went by without significance, nothing to suggest that this semester would be any different from the first except for the fact that Bendis had decided to keep ignoring me in History class something that didn't bother me in the slightest.

Marissa and I met Seth in the common room after our last class and headed out to Marissa's car for her to take us to Oliver's.

"Why is Luke giving evils to his back tire?" Seth asked pointing across the carpark.

"Maybe he thinks its gay." I shrugged not really caring. "Come on I want to see Oliver before Natalie gets there." I tried to steer Marissa in the direction of her car but she kept looking a Luke.

"Maybe he needs help." She frowned at him, "Who knows more about cars than you?"

"I'm not helping him." I told her starting to walk over to her car hoping she would follow Seth and I, however, she simply grabbed my arm and not only pulled me back but towards Luke.

"Hey," she smiled at him, "what's up?"

"Flat tire." He took his hand out of his pocket and pointed at hit. "Somebody slashed it."

"Its too bad I have witnesses I would have loved to have claimed this work as my own." I told Seth, but Marissa simply hit me with the back of her hand on my stomach and pulled me aside. "What was that for?"

"Look he no longer has any friends, he's even taken himself off the soccer team."

"Am I meant to be caring?" I asked her, "You're forgetting this boy almost killed me."

"So he has a history of aggression and doesn't have any friends at school-"

"If you finish your sentence with a comparison of him to me I will dump you again." I warned her, my hands now stubbornly folded across my chest.

"Just give him a chance." She pleaded to me with her eyes, "He's reforming."

"He makes one gay joke and-"

"I will personally castrate him." She drew her finger across her heart.

"Hey Luke," I called across at him, interrupting Seth's awkward and forced conversation with him, "you ever seen the pent house of the Four Seasons?"

"Hey you." I smiled as Oliver opened the door. "I bring you Marissa, my pseudo brother and one unexpected guest." I sighed into his ear as we hugged. "So when Natalie getting here?" I asked him walking into his hotel rooms.

"She's not, in her only class today she found out she has a pop quiz to study for." He sighed following me in.

"This is why people tend to date girls there own age." I smiled at him, settling myself down on the sofa. "You guys coming in or what?" I asked the other three still congregated around the door.

"Not really she, uh, had the benefit of not getting kicked out of three schools in three years, makes it a whole lot easier to graduate on time." He smiled at me.

"That's nothing," I smiled at him, "I got kicked out Chino Hills, Corona, Mater Dei and had Mr Bendis had his way I would have got kicked out of Harbor too." I smiled at him, as Marissa sat down besides me.

"Bendis is a dick." Luke told me again, sitting down on one of the single seats watching Seth look around the place.

"Dude, I cannot believe you live in a penthouse man this place is redonculous." He smiled at Oliver coming over and sitting with all of us.

"Yeah, its always been my fantasy to live in a hotel, like Eloise." Marissa smiled at me.

"Yeah well I guess but uh as my parents travel so much it can kinda get a little lonely." Oliver sighed, thumbing through a bunch of take out menus. "Moroccan?" We all nodded as he started dialing for the take out.

"Hey man if you ever need any company." Seth told him, still looking around the room from his seat.

"Thanks cause you know they might be gone a while, opening a new hotel in Paris." He told Seth before walking over to the kitchen area to make his order.

"I love Paris," Marissa smiled at me, "I could spend all day walking the Champs-Élysées."

"I like Paris," Seth nodded, "I love baguettes."

"Do you ever think about anything apart from your stomach?" I asked him.

"Dude, French chicks don't even shave their armpits." Luke told us all.

"You ever been to Paris, Alex?" Oliver asked me, dropping the phone onto the coffee table.

"I've only left the country once and we know how that went." He simply nodded at me, whilst Marissa looked between us. "Europe doesn't really interest me much." I shrugged, "Would like to go backpacking through West Asia and maybe Brazil."

"Why Brazil?" Luke asked me.

"Cause it's the only Latin American country that doesn't speak Spanish." Seth told him.

"Me and Amy-"

"Who's Amy?" Marissa asked.

"One of Jodie's ex's," I told her quickly, "we agreed that we would learn to motorcycle and ride down to Brazil. When AJ fell asleep one night-"

"Who's AJ?"

"Her mom's redneck boyfriend." Seth told her. "Yeah?" he waved his arm for me to continue.

"When he fell asleep me and Amy took his bike, we got all the way to Corona before crashing it." I nodded proudly. "And now I have a metal pin in my elbow."

"I never knew any of that." Marissa frowned at me.

"You never asked." I told her simply.

"Dude, that's so cool." Luke nodded at me, before putting his fist out to bump with mine.

"Told you all you did back home was steal stuff." Seth laughed. "What else you do back in Chino?"

"You mean apart from steal stuff and drunkenly get tattoos?" I smiled back at him.

"Why were you with Jodie's ex?" Marissa frowned at me.

"We were kind of fucking at the time." Luke raised his hand for a high five, with I returned not looking at him. "The lesbian world is incredibly incestuous, especially when you're our age. Oh my god," I jumped up and turned up Oliver's stereo, "I love this song." I smiled at him pointing to The Killer's 'Mr Brightside' blaring out of the radio. "They're amazing live."

"You seen them live? That's so cool." Luke smiled at me.

"I love live music. I've seen so many bands play." I smiled at him.

"Who else you seen?"

"Uh, Foo Fighters, Manson, Queens of the Stone Age, uh, Puddle of Mudd, Lily Allen… Saw Eminem once that was dire." I sighed, "My brother dragged me along a couple of years back when he was playing L.A., he didn't have tickets and so we were just standing outside in the rain waiting for him to come out so Trey could get an autograph – I'm telling you it was like the video for 'Stan' just without the pregnant Dido."

"Why did you go then?" Seth asked me.

"Eminem was like his icon." I explained, sitting back down to Marissa. "When dad first got arrested we were forced into a trailer park until my grandparents could find the money to get Mom a house – Trey kind of related to his music."

"I never knew you lived in a trailer?" Marissa frowned at me again.

"Again," I smiled at her, "you never asked."

"You know Rooney are playing at the Baitshop tomorrow night." Oliver told me, side stepping the painful past revelation.

"Yeah I know," I sighed, "tried to get tickets but they're all sold out."

"You wanna go?" Oliver asked me.

"Is this thing on?" I asked Seth pointing to my mouth.

"I'll call their manager tomorrow," Oliver smiled at me, throwing a cushion in my direction, "they're amazing live."

"Tell me you don't know Rooney because I would have to kill you out of jealousy alone." I smiled back at him, hugging the cushion.

"That would be awesome." Seth nodded.

"I've never heard of them," Luke shrugged, "but, uh, I got nothing – I'll go."

"Marissa?" Oliver asked her.

"Come on, we'll all get to hang out." Seth told her.

"It'll be fun." I smiled at her.

"Since when do you care about fun?" she frowned back at me.

"Since my friend," I pointed across at Oliver, "can get me tickets to see Rooney."

"It'll be fun?"

"According to Rollingstone it will be amazing." I smiled at her.

* * *

I walked in for breakfast the next morning and found Seth eating cereal at the counter. "Was Marissa okay to you last night, she seemed a little off." I asked him taking his bowel and eating a spoonful of his cereal before passing it back.

"She seemed alright." He shrugged, "Now can we please get back to the crisis in hand for one second, okay? Anna!"

"She will be coming to the concert tonight so you and Summer better have told her by then." I pointed at him before pouring a cup of coffee.

"Now the way I figure it we've got many, many options at our finger tips."

"You and me 'we've'?"

"Me and Summer 'we've.'" He explained following me to the living room where I put on cartoons.

"Just get Summer to do it," I shrugged, taking his cereal bowl again, "she kissed her last."

"Oh I like that." Seth smiled, taking back his bowl and pulling his spoon from my mouth. "I do like that."

"Well now that that's sorted, can we talk about Marissa again? Cause she was definitely different last nigh; she was quieter than normal."

"Maybe it's in reaction to you dodging her calls."

"'Cept I'm no longer dodging her calls and I though last night went really well. Even Luke and I were getting on – albeit he was making far too much of an effort to kiss my arse."

"So you're over that Hailey thing?" he asked me changing the channel.

"As much as I'm ever going to be." I shrugged at him, changing the channel back. "I'm not watching X-men."

"Because re-runs of Sesame Street is so much cooler?"

"It's a Saturday you have to watch Sesame Street."

"It was weird that the start of the semester was on a Friday." Seth said after a while of silence between us. I simply shrugged as I finished his cereal.

"I should go see her. Maybe get her something." I sighed after a while, Big Bird no longer holding my attention.

"See," he smiled at me, "you do care about yours and Marissa's relationship."

"I've stopped listening to Kate Nash all the time." I shrugged starting to get up.

"Kate who?"

"Nash. British chick, sings a song called Foundations."

* * *

"Hey," I smiled at Marissa when she opened her door, "brought you something." I held up the HMV bag and kissed her on the cheek before walking in and sitting myself down on the sofa.

"A Rooney album?" She asked me, sitting down besides me.

"Its not just 'a' album it's the new one." I told her taking it from her and putting it into her stereo. "It will be the formation of their set tonight. Thought you might want to listen to them so you know what you'll be hearing?"

"You know we don't have to go tonight," she smiled coyly at me as I sat back down, "we could stay in," she suggested kissing my jaw line, "make out," she continued kissing down my neck, "I'm sure we can think of something." She smiled continuing to kiss me as she rearranged her body so that she was straddling me.

"Except Rooney will be amazing. I wanted to get tickets off my own back, but Oliver said he can get us backstage passes as well. And Locksley and The Bridges are supporting. When Theresa, Jodie and I went to see Locksley play in Corona, they did this one song 'Those Were The Days'-"

"Sounds appropriate." She sighed, getting off me.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know its just yesterday proved that I don't know you at all."

"If I can get passed that you should be able to." I told her, putting my arm around her and pulling her closer.

"All that came out of your mouth yesterday was either about Oliver or the life you had." She sighed, leaning into my embrace.

"My past life is just that, past," I swallowed hard before I finished my sentence, "that goes for you and Hailey too."

She looked up at me, "But your stories – all you did in Chino was have fun with girls; don't you miss it?"

"I had fun in Chino because I was miserable. I drank, smoked way too much pot, did tonnes of stupid things to get me out of the house, to escape my life. I don't need to do that anymore. I'm happy with the Cohens, I'm happy with you."

"Yeah?"

"I'm making an effort with Luke aren't I?" I told her. "If I wanted out of this," I pointed between us, "yesterday would have been an perfect opportunity for me to just storm off."

"Does that mean I no longer have care about surfing?" She smiled at me.

"Marissa you are self involved and you generally get what you want; which many people wouldn't consider the most attractive quality-"

"I hope you're going somewhere with this." She frowned at me.

"But they're your qualities and I love you." I said simply kissing her on the nose.

"That was horribly cute." She told me before kissing me.

"I know, not at all like me." I smiled at her. "You know you can go back to turning me on it you want."

She moved so that once again she was straddling me, kissing down my neck pausing when she got to my pulse point and gently sucking upon it. She pulled at the hem of my top before removing me from it entirely and kissing down my breasts. She moved me so that I was on my back and she was on top of me on her dad's small sofa.

I pulled off her top and ran my hands along the bottom edge of her skirt, slowly making their way north.

"Must you girls do that here?" Jimmy sighed from the doorway and Marissa and I scrambled to get our shirts.

"Hey Mr C." I smiled awkwardly at him.

"Hey Dad." Marissa smiled just as nervously.

"So I'll see you later." I told Marissa, quickly running past Jimmy and out to the car.

* * *

Marissa knocked gently on my open door before walking in and kissing me on the cheek.

"Hey you." I smiled at her as I straightened out my tie.

"You know Seth's wearing the exact same thing right?" She smiled back at me, pulling me closer to her by my tie.

"And I'm changing." I sighed, "You want to wait in the house I'll just be a couple of minutes." She simply nodded and walked out as I pulled off my tie and changed my shirt and pants. I grabbed my denim mini skirt from my wicker wardrobe and climbed into it before throwing on a Killer's T-shirt and walking into the house to meet Seth and Marissa. "You ready?"

"I think its safe to say I won't wear that." Seth smiled at me pointing at my skirt. "Summer's meeting us there."

"So's Anna and Luke." I nodded at him.

"Come on." Marissa smiled at us, taking my hand and leading me out to the car.

* * *

"I don't see him." I told them as I scanned the crowd for Oliver.

"Maybe he's inside." Marissa shrugged, leading me over to the bouncer with the clipboard.

"That's fine." Seth called out to us, "I'll just stand here by myself and wait for the others."

We bypassed the queue and went straight to the bouncer.

"Name?" She asked us not looking up from her list.

"Trask." I told her, trying to peer down at her list which she pulled closer to her chest.

"Nope. But there's a guy over there scouting tickets." She pointed over to one of the water polo players standing by the edge of the peer. "I'd get there quick before the cops spot him."

"You must have miss heard me," I tried again, amazingly she looked up from her clipboard, "Oliver Trask, the dude knows the band."

"Please if I had a dollar every time someone told me that, well, I wouldn't be working here anymore that's for sure. Now either get the tickets from that jock over there or wait for the concert to come out on DVD – either way," she smiled smugly at us, "get out of my line."

"Hilary Clinton called she wants her smile back." I had to yell the last bit at the woman as Marissa was pulling me back towards Seth, now with Summer, Anna and Luke.

"What up dawg." He smiled at me.

"The NAACP called, they requested that you never say that again." I sighed, patting him on the back. "Only ballers can talk like that, and even then its not a good thing."

"You're using that 'Somebody called' bit a lot today." Marissa smiled at me.

"I like it." I nodded back at her. "Come on guys we can try sneak in round the back." I shrugged.

"You try calling him?" Seth asked me delving into my skirt pocket and pulling out my cell. "Look you got one missed call and its from Oliver." He smiled at me passing me my phone.

"Fine, but the sneaking in was a cool plan."

"Oh yeah," Anna nodded at me as I waited for Oliver to answer his cell, "way cooler than say meeting the bands."

"_Hey Alex, where are you guys I've been waiting round the back for like ten minutes now._"

"Just coming, see you in a sec." I told him flipping my phone shut. "Round the back."

"We're not actually sneaking in are we?" Summer asked the group as they followed me round the corner.

"Hey." Oliver smiled at as all.

"What's up?" Luke smiled as he shook hands with Oliver.

"Thank god you didn't say 'Dawg'." I laughed at him.

"We thought you were a no show." Seth smiled at him.

"What happened? I-I thought I said back door?" Oliver pointed behind him.

"No you didn't!" Marissa frowned at him. "You said you were on the list."

"Coop it doesn't matter, the band's here," Summer started jumping up and down as men with guitars started exiting vans, "its all happening."

"What up guys?" Oliver asked as the band passed. They each mumbled a reply as Luke looked between them confused.

"Which ones Rooney?"

"They're all Rooney members." Summer explained laughing as we approached the gate that the band had just walked through.

"Hey man," Oliver greeted the door guy, "this is my posse."

"Don't say 'Posse'." I told him, as I slapped him on the back and followed him past security. "So still no Natalie?"

"Yeah we had another fight, this whole long distance things tough, looks like I'm dateless tonight."

"You can be Luke's date." I suggested. "Whatever floats your boat. We're very excepting."

"I'd rather be dateless." He laughed at me as we walked into the back room, packed with various band members, drinks everywhere and guitars and drum sticks scattered about the room.

"Well be mine and Marissa's date then."

"Are we going to miss the start of the show?" Seth asked looking round at the 'backstage'.

"Hardly, the band's here!" Anna smiled at him.

"Not for long." Oliver said looking at his watch, "it's bout to start. You guys cut it fine."

"Yeah? I wonder whose fault that is?" Seth looked at me before following Summer and Anna out into the front room.

"He'd have been complaining if we'd come to this thing looking like fucking twins." I smiled at Marissa before taking her hand and leading her out to the front of stage so we could see Locksley open.

As I heard the familiar cords of 'Those Were The Days' I moved so that I was behind her, my arms around her my chin resting on Marissa's shoulder, holding her close to me. People always talk about pivotal moments in lives, in days, in just being and just holding Marissa in my arms, feeling her body close to mine I knew in that instant that it didn't matter about Luke, about Hailey all that mattered was us. I fell for Marissa for a reason and just holding her, letting the band's music just wash over me, all those reasons came flooding back to me.

"Want a drink?" I had to shout in her ear to be heard above the music.

"Diet Coke."

"You got your magic flask?"

"You know it." She smiled at me, turning round in my arms and kissing me slowly. "Now go." she pushed me away with the palm of her hand on my chest.

I saw Seth at the bar trying to get served and slapped him on the back pushing in between him and some other guy so I could lean on the bar.

"This is ridiculous." He sighed, as another barman ignored him.

"What getting served?"

"That and the fact that I feel like I'm third wheeling with my girlfriend and her-" he waved his hand around, "You know I don't even know what Anna is."

"Where are they?"

"In the toilets bonding over the Golden Girls no doubt." He sighed.

"I'll grab Anna, have her hang with me and Ris so that you can spend some time with Summer." I told him, slapping him on the back again before forcing my way through the crowd and joining the queue for the ladies. "You know I just want to see if my friends are in here." I told the girls waiting ahead of me.

A couple of the girls moved so I could pass them, the one at the head of the line simply stood there with her arms folded.

"You're going to be waiting all fucking day no matter where you stand there's a pair of fucking dykes fucking in one of the stalls."

"You serious?" She simply nodded. "SUMMER! ANNA!" I pushed past the girl and banged on all the stall doors until Summer sheepishly opened their one followed by Anna.

"Like finally, fucking dykes." The girl pushed past us and went to go into the cubicle.

"You want to quit with the homophobia bitch?" I asked her, blocking her way. "My friends are sorry for the line they caused, that cool with you straighty or would you prefer I call you hetty?"

"Whatever." She sighed, forcing her way past me and into the now vacant stall.

"Uh Anna can you go check on Marissa and Oliver for me, I get the vibe that she doesn't like him."

"Sure." She nodded at me looking between Summer and me.

"You and I, outside now." I told her, I went to grab her hand but thought better of it. "Wash those first." I said pointing at them.

"Perv." She hit me round the back of the head. "Nothing like that happened." She told me before leading me outside.

"So what you going to say?"

"Summer." I sighed, "Normally I wouldn't care but when you're screwing both my fake brother and one of my best friends – I'm kind of forced into caring."

"I don't want to hurt one of them." Summer said eventually, changing her stance from defensive to leaning on the edge of the peer, looking out at the ocean.

"Love, relationships – its always about hurt. But they'll get over it. You just gotta choose before they find out about each other and fucking kill you. I heard about Thanksgiving." I smiled at her.

"I'll, I'll – I'll choose." She sighed turning round and looking back at the club. "Hey who's Oliver talking to?" She pointed at him talking to some guy round the corner from the club.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I'll see you back in there." I told her walking over to Oliver, I watched him struggle against the force of the guy. "Hey," I stepped in between them and shoved the guy backwards. "Hey."

"Get off of me." The man said gruffly.

"I think that's what he said!" I said pushing him away from Oliver.

"I'm a cop." He pulled badge out from his back pocket and flashed it to me before spinning Oliver round and starting to cuff him.

"What?" I looked between them, confused by the situation I'd just found myself in. "There's got to be some kinda mistake."

"Yeah, he just tried to buy three grams of coke from me."

"Yeah I can see how that would be a mistake." I said watching him lead Oliver to his car.

I stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds not knowing what the hell to do. I scratched the back of my neck nervously, the hairs beginning to prickle. I pulled my cell out of my pocket and dialled the home number watching Oliver be driven off in the back of an unmarked car.

"_Hello?_"

"Hey Kirsten, is Sandy in I need some legal advice." I sighed.

* * *

"So, they're gonna let him go." Sandy told me as he sat down next to me in the waiting room.

"Really? I was worried 'cause you were like forever in there."

"Half an hour can seem like forever in this place."

"Believe me I know." I told the white washed walls opposite me, rather than looking as Sandy. "How'd you do it?"

"I'm just that good, and I use to play poker with these guys."

"Thanks for doing this," I smiled sadly at him, "you didn't have to really."

"Is this kid a friend of yours?"

"Yeah," I nodded at him before going back to staring at the opposite wall, "and you were worried about Marissa being a bad influence on me."

"Well they busted him trying to buy coke, and then he told me that his parents are out of the country for a month, can you believe that, apparently the kid lucked out on his own."

"Yeah imagine that, huh, cause parents never abandon their kids." I smiled weakly at him.

"I'll never understand it."

"I hope not."

"I'm glad you called me."

"Me too." I turned at the sound of rusty hinges creaking and found Oliver being led out by a couple of guards.

"I'm gonna finish up your paper work," Sandy told Oliver, standing, "you sit tight, I'll be right back."

"So," Oliver sighed out sitting in Sandy's vacated seat, "thanks, your dad seems cool."

"He's not… He is cool isn't he?" I shook my head. "So what the fuck man, you were doing so well. Eleven months man."

"Uh," he leaned forward, staring at the blank wall, just as I had done with Sandy. "I don't know, Natalie didn't show and then I saw you and Marissa…," he sighed and looked down at his shoes, "my parents are gone, my friends," he laughed bitterly, "if you can even call them that," I looked at him, "they all disappeared when I got clean," he explained, "now I..." he shook his head, "huh."

"Well you got me now. And Seth, Summer, Anna… You've got all my friends. You're gunna wish you were friendless." I smiled at him.

* * *

I walked into the house and was instantly hit by a wave of noise coming from the family room. I grabbed a soda from the kitchen before joining everyone in the front room. I smiled at Marissa before kissing her and picking her up from the chair and sitting down in her place, pulling her down so she was sat on top of me.

"So what we playing?" I asked them smiling around the group for the first time in a while really appreciating them all.

* * *

As always please read and review. Thank you, Circus.


	16. The Fraud

Thanks for all the feedback, I love it. Sorry this post took so long.**

* * *

**

**The Fraud**

"Alright knees bent,not quite that much," Sandy had been trying to teach me how to golf for an hour and all I had achieved was to break two windows, "back straight eyes right over the ball, feet a little closer together,just off your left foot there you go, not quite that close together butthat's okay alright just let it hang like a pendulum, nice an easy nice an easy keep breathing, nice an easy-"

I picked my head up, no longer watching the swing of my gold club; "You're teaching me to golf not give birth." I reminded him.

"I'll just stand over here." He took a step back and allowed me to try and get the bastard ball in the cup by myself.

I tried to remember to follow all the instructions Sandy had given me as I gently swung the putter trying get the ball in the 'hole' and yet as the putter connected with the ball all I saw was the ball hitting the water. Seth dived down to get it as he had all my efforts before.

"I got it!" Seth smiled proudly, putting the ball on the side.

"Alright one more." Sandy rolled a fresh ball over to me.

"Are you insane or simply bored of your existing windows?" I asked him, flopping down on one of the garden chairs.

"Oh come on you were so good at the driving range." Sandy tried to encourage.

"I play basketball, surf and I used to be able to street skate. If God had wanted me to be a golfer I would have been born in plaid."

"You know there's plenty more to do in Palm Springs other then play golf. You can spa." I simply looked up at him. "Yeah you don't spa." Sandy nodded. "I'm sensing that you're going to be going to Palm Springs more for the Alpha Dog experience than the gated community experience."

"What are you doing making pop culture references after 1975?" Seth asked him, hopping onto the side of the pool and climbing out. "I though we had an understanding my DVD collection is off limits to you and Mom."

"Pay-per-view." Sandy explained. "Kirsten and I thought it was going to be a wildlife documentary."

"Not so much." I smiled at him. "And don't worry if Oliver and I kidnap a kid to hold ransom over a drug debt, we won't kill him."

"I still don't know how I feel about you guys going to stay in Palm Springs with a friend of yours I first met bailing out of jail." Sandy told me. "Making jokes like that, not funny."

"Oliver's cool, he was just falling back on old habits when he was feeling lowest." I explained, "Who hasn't done that?"

"Like Alex punches people when she's low, Oliver turns to drugs." Seth chimed in.

"Not helping." I warned him.

"Oliver's parents going to be there?"

"Yeah." I nodded at Sandy as I passed him back his putter.

"You met them?" he asked me.

"No, they've always been out of town whenever I've been in the pent house."

"Oliver has a pent house _and_ a mansion in Palm Springs?"

"Oliver has many pent houses." Seth corrected his father.

"Its good to be Oliver." Sandy mused.

"Its good to be Oliver's friend." I simply looked at Seth. "Or its good to be Oliver's friend's friend." He corrected.

* * *

Marissa and Summer walked into my room as I finished packing for Palm Springs. Oliver had invited all of my friends along with us as a thank you to me for getting him out of jail, I just wanted to keep him company to keep his mind off Natalie and figured surrounding him with people would be the best way to do it. Consequently the group grew from three to six and then to seven when Marissa told me I should invite Luke along too 'in the spirit of new friends' she phrased it.

"Hey." I smiled at Marissa before going over towards her and kissing her 'hello' properly.

"Hey." She smiled back at me.

"Hey." Summer nodded, looking between us. "You two aren't going to be doing that all weekend are you?"

"I have learnt to golf especially for this trip," I smiled gently at her, "I will spend some time honing my new skills."

"Good cause if you two are doing that either Cohen or Anna will want to be doing that too and-"

"Have you still not told them?" Marissa looked at her in disbelief. "You're going to have to choose at some point."

"Like Cohen did?"

"Your love triangle is too much for the mind to understand." I laughed at her as I zipped up my rucksack. "Why not just have a threesome and be done with it."

"Ew, no." She said simply. "Plus I don't think Anna would be down with that."

"You've thought about it haven't you?" Marissa pointed at her. "You are Cohen's dream girl, you know that right?"

"I've been talking to Anna and it turns out she only hooked up with Seth to stop him hooking up with you. I should have seen that one coming." I shook my head as I smiled at Marissa showing her that I didn't actually care. "This weekend is going to be so interesting."

"Wow, sympathy." Sighed Summer as she flunked herself down in one of my chairs.

"You made your bed-"

"You got to lie in it." I finished for Marissa.

"I feel there is a pun intended in that." Summer frowned at me. "What am I going to do?"

"You mean apart from choosing?" Marissa asked her.

"Right I'm going to find somebody that isn't you two." Summer slapped her legs as she rose. "You reckon Oliver is here yet, I want to thank him for taking us all to Palm Springs."

"Oliver, huh?" I smiled at Marissa.

"This is turning into quite the Telenovela." She smiled back.

"I hate you both." Summer told us as she walked out of my open door.

"What you think is going to happen?" Marissa asked leaning on my doorframe, watching Summer walk through the house.

"Thanksgiving, but worse given that she's sleeping with them both." I told her shouldering my bag. "Ready?"

"You know I don't golf, right?" She told me as I moved her out of my doorframe so I could lock my door.

"How many golf courses do you think we had in Chino?"

"Good point." She smiled at me as she walked with me round the house to the edge of the driveway. "Jesus Christ." Marissa gaped at the amount of beer he had in the back of his truck.

"Did you rob a liquor store or something?" we heard Seth ask him as he tried to carry both bags and his humidifier out of the house to come stand by Marissa and I on the driveway.

"Cohen you cant play golf without a buzz on." Luke simply smiled at him as he leant over the side of his truck to take the humidifier from him. "A blender nice thinking, Cohen."

"Yeah," Seth nodded, "no its actually a humidifier: I get nose bleeds."

I watched as Summer and Anna exchanged looks and pointed it out to Marissa.

"You think she knows?" she whispered in my ear.

"She can't. I mean unless she is that comfortable in their relationship that she's fine with her girlfriend having sex with someone else." I whispered back.

"Good point." She conceded.

"You should talk to her. If she's only with Seth to try and bang the gay out of her…"

"That was so well put. And you talk to her I'm only out because I met you." She smiled sweetly at me. "If it weren't for you I would have still been with Luke and having stupid affairs."

"I think that's sweet." I frowned at her. "Come on, the others are going to think we're talking about them."

"We are." She smiled at me.

"We don't want them to know that though." I told her as Oliver pulled up in a BMW M6 silver convertible. "Oh my god." I ran over and stroked the hood of it as he pulled to a stop. "This is a thing of beauty."

"4999cc… 10 cylinders." Luke smiled at me, having jumped out the back of his truck and joining me in drooling over Oliver's car.

"I just drive the thing." Oliver smiled stepping out. "Hi, by the way." He said looking between us.

"Ignore them." Anna told him, walking over. "Cars are what they use to stop from hating each other."

"Where's Natalie?" Marissa asked him.

"She called me earlier, said there was some other guy." He shrugged despondently. "That's why I'm here, I'm not sure how much fun I'm going to; be maybe we should go some other time."

"Are you crazy, you'll just end up sitting alone in your pent house wallowing. That's the worst you can do." I told him.

"This coming from the girl that shuts herself in her pool house and mopes whenever she and her girlfriend fight." Seth smiled at me.

"You mope?" Marissa frowned at me. "I thought you just got angry and sarcastic."

"That's Mondays." I nodded at her. "Tuesdays I get frustrated and pissy."

"Wednesdays you mope though?" She smiled at me.

"Which is why our fights only ever last four days if left uninterrupted, less if Anna or Seth give me advice."

"Uh, guys?" Summer stepped in between the two of us, "I think this is time to focus on Oliver rather than your dysfunctional relationship."

"Come on," I patted him on the shoulder, "you know you want to kick my arse at golf."

"I don't know…"

"It'll be fun." Marissa sighed, I turned to face her in time to catch her roll her eyes. "You can ride with Alex and I'll ride with Luke."

"You sure?" I asked her.

"I saw the way you were eyeing up that car," she smiled half heartily, "go, make him feel better." She kissed me on the cheek. "I'll see you in Palm Springs and I'llkick yourarse at golf."

I spun round and smiled broadly at Oliver holding up my hand to catch the keys before jumping over the door of his M6, I waited for him to slide into the seat before seeing if the 0-62mph in 4.8 second rumour was true.

* * *

The two and a half hour drive to Palm Springs was spent with Oliver telling me about Natalie's affair, me telling him about Summer's affairs and how Marissa and I were doing. He told me that Natalie was doing nothing for his trust issues, I told him that Summer was just using Seth to avoid being gay and that Marissa was like no one I'd ever known before.

Oliver was weird, he talked to much and was the horrible stereotype of rich people – the type that believed a hundred dollars in the right palm could get you anything or anywhere. But he left room for me to talk to him and gave even more room for him to actually hear what I was saying. He cared about my thoughts, my opinions and not just because I was new, not just because I was his first friend, not just because I was dating one of his friends but because he wanted to be my friend without any ulterior motive.

When we got to Palm Springs, or more specifically his house, I simply sat behind the steering wheel of his 170 hundred dollar car and stared up at the holiday mansion that was twice the size of the Cohens' home. He simply patted me on the shoulder and grabbed his bag from the trunk before walking into his house that looked like it may have once appeared on _Cribs_.

He'd just finished the grand tour of his million dollar home when he ran down stairs to answer the door bell, I followed him down the stairs, slower so that I could continue marvelling at giant gap between the rich and, well, the lifestyle I'd grown up in.

"Hey, you made it." I smiled at Marissa, kissing her on the cheek once I'd reached the foot of the stairs.

"We tried following you, but it was hard to keep up." Luke sighed putting down one of his coolers filled with beer down in the hallway.

"You're just jealous cause Oliver let me drive his car and not you."

"Hey this-this place is awesome." Luke told Oliver looking round in awe, clearly ignoring my comment.

"Its like something off of _Cribs_." Marissa nodded.

"That's what I said." I smiled at her. "I think when the other's get here we should all have a giant came of hide and seek and see who gets lost first."

"Where's the fridge I don't want these," Luke pointed at his cooler of beers, "to get skunked."

"Yeah, I'll show you to the kitchen," Oliver smiled at him grabbing one of the handles, "Think you brought enough beer?"

"Everybody keeps saying that." Luke sighed grabbing the other side to be led through the house to a fridge.

"How is he doing?" Marissa asked me, coming closer so she could wrap her arms around me.

"Not too well, Natalie played right into his trust issues." I shrugged, holding her back. "So I did my best to distract him from thinking about her by telling him about the drama that is Seth, Summer and Anna. Hopefully this weekend will help him."

"Hope you guys weren't talking about me when I was gone," Oliver smiled at us almost nervously as he came and found us back in the hallway. "Sorry for taking your girlfriend away from you." He told Marissa after she'd let go of me.

"You better be, Luke made me listen to rap music all the way here." She tried to smile at him as she opened the door the other three all arguing loud enough for us to hear them the second they each stepped out of Summer's car.

"You have to help me." Summer told Marissa and I, grabbing the pair of us and pulling us aside as soon as she'd walked through the open door. "They are the same person."

"Who?" Marissa frowned at her.

"Seth and Anna." I told her. "Anna's not narcissistic and knows more about girls though. Seth's funnier and oddly cute." I told Summer.

"You think Seth is cute?" Marissa frowned at me.

"Not like that, please could you imagine me with Seth?" I smiled at her, she simply nodded as if conceding my point, before turning back to Summer, "You've only just realised they're the same?"

"I've never been with them so much when they're together." Summer shrugged. "This is not helping with the choosing."

"Well you better choose quickly Oliver is about to show us to our rooms." Marissa pointed over her shoulder to Oliver rubbing his hands together and moving suitcases.

"Who would you choose?" Summer asked her.

"Are you seriously asking me who you should pick?" Marissa laughed at her, taking her hand and leading her back towards the others. I heard Summer mutter something about 'help' and 'sympathy' but simply ignored her as I picked up Marissa's suitcase and shoulder my bag with my other arm.

"If you want to follow me guys." Oliver smiled at us all lifting his suitcase and leading us up the stairs. "This first room is Luke's. Summer I didn't know who'd you feel more comfortable sharing with Seth or Anna, but you guys can pick between these two rooms," he pointed between them, nodding forward for Marissa and I to follow him, leaving Seth and Anna simply staring at Anna. "This room's yours." He told us pushing open the door. "Oh, I forgot this is the room with the two twins… Uh, do you wanna switch rooms or we could push em together." He shrugged.

"No its cool. You go get settled I'll sort out the beds." I told him, walking past him and dropping my bag on one of them. "Marissa want to give me a hand?" I asked her, still standing in the doorway.

"Don't you think its odd that we were the only people to get a room with two beds?" She asked me quietly as she came over to help me push them together.

"Don't be daft, he just forgot. With so many rooms wouldn't you?"

"I suppose." She shrugged. "But-"

"Honey, you're over analysing."

"Don't just brush me off." She told me, her hands firmly on her hips. "When you spend so much time with a guy, tell him everything about you and even _me_. I'm allowed to analyse the fact that we were the only people given single beds."

"You know there are much shorter sentences for accusing me of cheating." I snapped back at her.

"I'm not saying that." She sighed.

"Well what are you saying? Cause from where I'm standing-" I was cut off by another argument stemming from the hallway. I walked out and found Seth and Anna both shouting at each other pausing intermittently to shout at Summer. "Surprised this didn't happen earlier." I told Marissa who had come to stand by my side.

I put my thumb and index finger in my mouth and blew causing a short sharp whistle to get everyone's attention, upon receiving it however I had no idea what to say to them.

"Summer, I think this would be your cue to say something." Marissa told her.

"I, I, I'm going to go." She said, grabbing her purse from one of the rooms and running down the stairs pursued by both Seth and Anna.

"Dude what was all that about?" Luke asked me having watched everything from the other end of the corridor.

"Summer is with both Seth and Anna it would appear." Oliver told him going over to the banister and trying to watch the three of them downstairs.

"Did my lips move as I said that?" I asked Marissa, she simply shook her head before walking back into our room.

"So now what?" I asked the boys.

"Golf anyone?" Oliver shrugged.

* * *

"How's this?" I asked Oliver as I swung my club slowly backwards and forwards besides my ball.

"Pretty good." He walked over and stood behind me. "You just, uh, gotta get your hips into it a little more, y'know? You gotta go," he put a hand on each hip and gently swayed me back and forth.

"Careful," I told him, loud enough so that Luke and Marissa could here us waiting on the sidelines, "some might consider this flirting."

"Love you too, Sweetie." Marissa called back to me as I finally went to hit the ball.

"For a beautiful girl that is one ugly swing." Oliver sighed as we watched my ball land just metres away in the artificial lake. I looked back at Marissa and she simply rolled her eyes again before walking over to us.

"Golfs really not your thing." She told me as she pushed her tee into the ground and placing the ball onto of it. I watched as she swung and hit the ball onto the lawn across the water.

"I hope to god you weren't using creative visualisation." I whispered in her ear.

"What you should be worrying about is whether I pictured his head or yours." She whispered back before walking over to the golf cart and dropping her driver back amongst the other clubs she'd borrowed from her dad.

* * *

Other I lost the game we drove back to the club, grabbed a bite to eat all the while Marissa and I trading snide comments at each other whilst Oliver and Luke played ignorant to us bickering around them. As soon as we got back I went to find out how Seth and Anna were doing.

"Hey." I smiled at them, leaning on the back of the sofa they were sitting on. "What you up to?"

"Watching _The Valley_. One of the characters has amnesia." Seth told me, not taking his eyes from the TV.

"She's been taken back into hospital when she unknowingly slept with her brother." Anna elaborated as I took the remote from her hand and pause the program. "Hey!" she complained as she turned round to try and grab the remote back.

"Sorry." I told her, holding the remote out of her reach as I frowned at the screen. "I thought I'd dated the nurse." I clicked 'play' and dropped it back in her hand.

"Now you've dated actresses?" Marissa sighed as she came and stood by me.

"Well not that one," I pointed at the nurse on TV, "if that makes you feel better."

"I'm going to get a glass of water." She told me walking away.

"Can I have a cup of coffee?" I called after her.

"You'll be lucky to get anything tonight." She told me before she stepped out of the room.

"What was all that about?" Seth asked, still staring at _The Valley_ projected onto the wall in front of him. "Trouble in paradise?"

"Nothing that won't blow over." I told him, walking round and sitting between him and Anna. "How you two doing?" They merely shrugged. "That well, huh? I told her to choose before we-"

"You knew?" Anna asked switching the DVD off.

"You didn't think to tell us?" Seth stood up and walked out of the room.

"Things were so much easier then I was screwing up my own relationships." I sighed, leaning my head on the back of the sofa as Anna followed Seth out of the room. A moment later I heard two doors slamming upstairs causing my eyes to snap back open. I reluctantly rose from the sofa and walked into the kitchen to find Marissa but found Oliver with her, hitting his head as if fitting.

"What's going on?" I asked her, rushing to Oliver's side trying to stop him from attacking himself.

"We were, we were talking…" She looked panicked as I held him, holding his arms tightly behind his back.

"Hey, hey." I tried to calm him but he simply faught to get out of my grip.

"I'm – I'm gonna go get some fresh air, I'm gonna go get some stuff for breakfast." He spoke quickly yet spaced his words oddly, as if not sure how to speak.

"Well I'll go with you." I offered, spinning round to follow him out of the room.

"No its – you stay with Marissa. I'll be back soon jus – just…"

"What the hell went on here?" I snapped at her watching Oliver run out into the hall and then out the door. "I've seen Oliver do many things but never this." I continued to shout at her even after he'd slammed the front door behind him.

"I don't know what happened we were talking and then he just started…" she trailed off, clearly no better at finding words to describe Oliver's actions than I was.

"What were you talking about that was so upsetting?"

"You." She said simply, lifting her head to look straight at me.

"For fucks sake." I had to walk out of the room and away from her before I said something to her I knew I would regret.

"You told him everything about me." She snapped back at me following me up the stairs to our room. "Everything. My suicide attempt, my past relationships, my drinking… If you have a problem with my actions you tell me not some spoilt brat you met in therapy."

I looked at her, amazed at what she was saying. I opened my mouth to reply but found there were no words to express not only her hypocrisy but my anger towards her. So I simply shut the door in her face and laid down on one of the beds.

I stared up on the ceiling and just thought about everything that had gone on. I thought that Marissa and I had got past our differences that Luke had highlighted and yet in one day out of Newport showed me that the gap between us was bigger than ever.

I told Oliver about Marissa's experience in Tijuana because he was actually able to explain to me what went one, given that he had been through it himself. I told Oliver about Luke because that was still a fresh issue when I met him in therapy that first day, it explained to him why I was there. But mainly I spoke to him because he listened, without any ulterior motive than to simply be my friend.

There was a tentative knock on the door, I glanced at the clock on the table besides me and realised well over an hour had passed. I rolled off the bed and walked slowly to the door and was met by Marissa holding out a beer.

"Hey." I smiled at her half heartily as I took the drink from her. "Oliver back yet?" she passed me my cell that I'd left downstairs and I found there were no missed calls. "Its nearly been two hours since he left, where's he getting these groceries?" I frowned at the phone before slipping it into my back pocket and going back to laying on the bed.

Marissa pushed the door open wider and followed me, she placed her beer besides mine on the bedside table and laid down besides me, finding her way into my nook.

"Why's he in therapy?"

"Depression, like me, and some substance abuse problems. And we're talking way more than us passing out at Christmas."

"That must be hard."

"I don't think we can ever know what he's going through unless we go through it ourselves." I sighed at her, pulling her closer. "I'm sorry if you think I'm neglecting you. Its just now-"

"I get it." I looked down and found her looking up at me. "I just felt like I could have been naked earlier with the winning lottery numbers written across my breasts and you still wouldn't have noticed me."

"Naked or not, there's no way I couldn't see you." I kissed her forehead as I arranged myself so I could pull my ringing phone out of my pocked. "Its him." I told her as I tried to flip it open one handed. "Hey."

"_Alex, something happened._" Oliver told me, his voice groggy and slurred, causing me to sit bolt upright.

"What's wrong? What is it?"

"_I messed up real bad_."

"Where are you? What'd you do?" I asked him as I stood up and grabbed my jacket from the back of the door.

"_Oh I just drove back to Newport and took a whole buncha pills, whole bunch_." I covered the mouth piece and moved the phone away from my mouth before telling Marissa to call an ambulance, causing Marissa to join me on my feet.

"We're coming over." I told him. "Just, just try and get them out of your system. See you soon." I told him as I flipped my phone shut and slipped it back into my back pocket.

"What happened?"

"He's taken an overdose. You call an ambulance, I'll get Luke's keys and tell the other's that we've got to go." I went out of the room and ran downstairs to find the other three all sat on the sofa watching _The Valley_.

"You and Marissa make up?" Seth asked me not taking his eyes from the screen.

"Yeah." I answered hurridly. "Luke I need to borrow your truck."

"Sure," he reached into his pockets, pulled out a mass of keys and threw them at me, "you getting some dinner cause I am starved."

"No Marissa and I are headed back to Newport, we have to get Oliver to hospital he took and overdose." I told him running back to the foot of the stairs. "Marissa!" I called out to her as she ran down the stairs.

"I'll drive." Seth told me, taking the keys from my hand and opening the door.

"You sure?" I asked him.

"Luke and Anna are going to hold down fort." He nodded walking down to Luke's truck.

"Ambulance is already there. Safest bets just to head to the hospital." Marissa told pushing me out of the door.

"I'm sorry." I told her.

"That doesn't matter now." She said simply, opening the door for me to hop in besides Seth.

* * *

The drive was quiet and seemed to take an eternity. Marissa spent the entire time squeezing my knee as Seth broke all the speed limits to get us back in half the time it should have.

He drove straight into the ambulance bay of the same hospital we'd gone to when Marissa was airlifted out of Tijuana.

"Go." He said simply. "I'll meet you in there."

"Thanks for this." I tried to smile at him, but he simply waved me off as Marissa pulled me out of the truck and into the hospital.

I went straight to the elevator and pressed the button for the Psyche ward.

"Not ER?" Marissa frowned at me.

"No, they took you straight here." I told her, stepping into the elevator. She squeezed my hand tighter as she followed me in and tighter still as the elevator began to rise. "You alright?"

"I just didn't think I'd ever be back here." She told me, breathing deeply.

"Its cool if you want-"

"No." she cut me off as the doors opened. "You need me here." She led me out and over to the nurse's station. "We're looking for Oliver Trask?"

"You related?" The nurse asked. Marissa simply looked at me before nodding. "A doctor will be with you momentarily."

She led me over to the chairs and continued squeezing my hands for the eternity we were made to wait for the doctor.

"One of you Miss Trask?" I looked up to find a tired doctor, in scrubs and a white coat looking down at us.

"I am." Marissa said quickly as we both rose from our seats. "My brother going to be okay?" She lied easily.

"We had to sedate him to get him into the ambulance. The paramedics found four empty pill bottles, all of them strong pain killers. However, when we tested for toxins his blood came back clean."

"What does that mean?" I asked the doctor.

"He didn't take anything." He said before turning back to Marissa. "We want to hold you're brother for a night-"

How he finished that sentence though I don't know, I had run to the stairwell and was out of the hall way. I ran down the flights of stairs and kept running until the I had put as much distance between me and Oliver as I could.

The one person in my life I thought I could trust had told me the worst kind of lie.

* * *

**NEXT: **The Aftermath - fluffyness, lots. Promise.

Read and review people - it makes me happy. Thank you, Circus.


	17. The Aftermath

**The Aftermath**

They didn't come after me, one of the (most probably Marissa) knowing me well enough to just let me go. I walked slowly, without purpose or direction, my hands deep in my pockets, my head bowed. When I came across a dingy 7-Eleven hidden away in the numbered streets I picked up a twenty pack of Blue Cherokees and a six bottles of Rolling Rock, the kid behind the counter not even pretending to care that I was only his age. I went and sat in the near by park, sitting on one of the few remaining swings reading the graffiti as I slowly drank from the green bottle.

I played through every conversation I had ever had with him. Constantly searching for some sort of sign that he was anything other than what he seemed to be.

I was in bed. I was still in the clothes I was in since returning from golfing. I didn't know how I got there, but I relaxed into the comfort that my bed offered me.

My eyes were aching for sleep and yet I was a million miles away from any sort of rest, despite having just woken up. I found myself sober, staring at the corner of my beside table as I remained curled up underneath my covers.

I played through every conversation I had ever had with him. Constantly searching for some sort of sign that he was anything other than what he seemed to be.

My brain dissected his choice of words, examined his actions, analysed his choice of clothes searching for some sort of sign that he was anything other than what he seemed to be. Everything came back to the hospital.

The hospital where I had watched, through the small panel of glass in the door, doctors restart Marissa's heart. The hospital where I watched Marissa get wheeled away into an OR. The hospital where I was sure Marissa was going to die. The hospital where I'd sat at Marissa's bedside, praying for her to wake up, until I was forcibly removed.

The hospital, the doctor, those words, the truth.

I played through every conversation I had ever had with him. Constantly searching for some sort of sign that he was anything other than what he seemed to be.

* * *

I woke up quickly and painfully when I was suddenly bathed in a pool of warm sunshine. As my eyes adjusted, I sat up and turned towards the light.

"Hey." Seth nodded, closing the door behind him allowing darkness to swallow the room once more, coming to lay besides me. "So Summer called-"

"There's no talking in this room." I told him, rolling over and going back to staring at the corner of my beside table.

"Okay, that's cool." I felt him sit up and I was covered in a blaze of annoyance when he put my beside light on. "But what does that say about me it girls pick the girl me over the me me?"

"It says you're too self involved and narcissistic." I sighed, pulling the cover out from under him and buried myself within it.

"You just said two things that mean the same thing." Barely had the words come out of his mouth when I shot back out of the duvet.

"Seth," I said his name through gritted teeth, "my friend is lying in a hospital bed having not taken an overdose. Do you mind if we do this later?" He ran his thumb and forefinger across lips as if zipping them closed before shutting off the lamp. "Thank you." I told him before sinking back down.

"Is she hotter than me?" I rolled over and simply glared at him. "I'm going." He sighed getting up. "Just before I go I have to ask you: why didn't you tell me?"

Having rolled back over, I found myself sitting up and hugging my knees as I squinted trying to find him in the dimly lighted room. "You shot who in the what now?"

"Summer."

"Oh," I rubbed my eyes and slowly crawled out of bed and grabbed a drink of water from the kitchen. I drained a pint class of water as I leant on the counter for support, before I replied properly. "I wanted to protect you." It came out barely more of a whisper.

"I've never really had friends before," I turned round and found him standing half way between my room and the outside world, "I don't know really what to expect from them, 'cept for what I've leant from TV." He paused and shook his head, as if he was going through what he was going to say next. "I guess I'm still getting used to this 'you having my back' thing." He patted the door frame before heading back towards the house, for the first time closing the door behind him shutting me back into my darkness.

* * *

I blinked repeatedly as I found that I bathed in light once again, forcing me to wake up from a sleep I didn't know I had succumbed too. The light went as quickly as it had come when I heard my door shut again. I felt a body slide into bed besides me and I relaxed as I felt her right arm pull me closer to her as she held me.

"Tell me. I won't go. I won't lie. I will only love you." She said, moving her arm until she had found one of my hands to hold, just as she held me.

So I did. I told her about my childhood, growing up with an alcoholic and a deadbeat. I told her about the day he got arrested and the night she first hit me. I told her about my teenage years, realising I was gay, about the girls, about the boys, about the violence I faced down and about Jodie and Theresa. Finally I told her about that night, about the car, about the cops, about jail. I told her about being kicked out, I told her about the phone call to Sandy and I told her about the first time I laid eyes on her and how I couldn't think of anything other than her.

She laughed, reminded me that I couldn't remember her name. I rolled over and told her that I was just playing it cool, she called me a liar. She pulled me closer to her by my belt loop of the pants I'd been wearing since returning from golf, and kissed me deeply, passionately, lovingly.

Slowly I removed the clothes, dropping them on the floor besides hers as we kisses, as we touched. Every action filled with want, desire, passion and love.

* * *

All I could hear was noise, a horrible noise, I couldn't find it, I couldn't work out where it was coming from.

Suddenly I was awake, my arm outstretched and my hand searching for the snooze button on my clock radio. The high pitched beeping didn't stop and suddenly my eyes were open and I was watching my clock tumble off my beside table.

"Fuck." I rolled over and threw and arm over Marissa. "Make the noise stop."

Her whole body moved as she rubbed her eyes, forcing them to focus. "Its my phone." She said simply moving to the edge of her side of the bed and fumbling around for her purse. I heard her fiddling about with her cell and then just as suddenly as it had come the noise stopped.

"We have ten minutes." She told me rolling back and into my arms.

"Till what?" I asked her, still rubbing my eyes trying to wake up.

"Till my alarm goes off again and we have to start getting ready for school."

"Oh its Monday." I nodded to myself, having lost all concept of time as a consequence of the weekend. "I'm not going."

She sat up by pushing herself up, resting a hand on my exposed chest. "You have to."

"I really don't." I told her, getting up and grabbing a hoddy from my wicker wardrobey thing, "I'm going to get a drink, you want anything?" I asked her as I pulled it over my head.

"Orange juice please." I nodded and opened my door, covering Marissa's naked form in a sea of sunlight for a moment before I closed it behind me and headed into the house.

I grabbed a mug and glass from the cupboard, before pouring a cup of coffee and heading over to the fridge to get Marissa's orange juice.

"How come you're not dressed, you're going to be late for school." Kirsten told me as she walked over to pour a coffee cup.

"I don't feel all that well." I lied.

"And this has nothing to do with Marissa in the pool house?" she frowned at me, pointing at the glass of orange juice on the counter before walking round the island to feel my temperature.

"Its for the Vitamin C."

"Okay, but can you ask Marissa to drive you and Seth to school Sandy and I have to head out to work." She told me as she headed back out of the kitchen. "And don't roll your eyes at me." She warned, calling out from the living room.

I grabbed a bagel and held it between my teeth as I carried the glass and mug back to my room.

"Thank you," Marissa smiled at me, taking the bagel and glass from me.

"I just need a shower and then I will be out," I smiled at her, sipping from my coffee, "Seth should be down in a minute or two." I told her pulling the hoddy off.

"So you're going to school?" Marissa smiled at me as she gathered her clothes.

"Kirsten wouldn't even pretend to humour me." I sighed, pulling out a shirt for her to wear.

"What the hell is CBGB?" she frowned at it.

"You want to go to school in yesterday's clothes?"

"And I'm dressing." She conceded as I took myself and my coffee into my en suit.

* * *

"Can't believe Mom wouldn't let me stay home today." Seth sighed as he rearranged his bag on his shoulder as we started up the steps to the main building. "She feigned feeling my temperature before sending me up to get dressed."

"She did the same to me." I nodded, holding open the door for Marissa and him.

"Maybe its because neither of you are actually ill." She smiled at us both, as we walked down the corridor to her locker. I leant against the lockers whilst she swapped her books about and simply looked at her. "Okay so maybe you have grounds for a day off."

"How do you do that?" Seth asked me.

"Do what?"

"Convey everything with a look." I merely shrugged, before nodding over towards the doors where Summer and Anna were walking in with cups of coffee. "Again!" he pointed at me before focusing on the main point. "Are Anna and I wearing the same outfit?" He pulled at his jacket as he looked back and forth between it and the girls. "I cannot believe I got dumped for the girl me."

"Could be worse," Marissa shrugged, closing her locker. "Could have been dumped for a water-polo player."

"Yeah like she would ever go out with a water-polo player." He scoffed. "Shh though they're nearly here and I need to act like I don't care. If one of you could kiss me that would work really well for me." Marissa and I simply simultaneously hit him round the back of the head.

"Ah," Summer smiled at us all, hugging her books close to her, "you can tell it's a Monday, Cohen's getting hit by girls."

"Summer decided the best way to get past the whole awkwardness post the golf house incident is to skip it altogether." Anna explained as Marissa, Seth and I all looked at Summer slightly opened mouthed, possibly even sharing my thought that Summer had amnesia.

"Alex didn't you need to go to you're locker?" Seth asked me.

"No, I got all my books."

"But I thought you wanted to get that thing." He smiled at me to forcefully, whilst kicking my leg.

"Oh yeah I do need to get my _thing_." I sighed, knowing that Anna was going to kill me in homeroom for following Seth to my locker to discuss his neuroses. "Were you ill the day subtlety was handed out?" I asked him feigning opening my locker.

"I thought that was-" he shook his head. "Look never mind about that, what we need to discuss is how I can show Summer that I don't care that she picked Anna."

"And you think the best way of doing that is by faking reasons to get out of talking to her?"

"Its Seth," Marissa smiled walking up behind him, "what do you expect?"

"Where are the other two?" I smiled back at her.

"Getting coffee, Anna's getting you one too."

"That's my girl." Marissa simply raised her eyebrow at me. "Well I mean my other girl." Marissa's hand moved to her hip. "I'm not getting out of this hole any time soon am I?" She simply shook her head.

"Atwood," Bendis had walked out of the reception area and round the corner to where the guys and I were standing, "Marissa and, uh, Seth I want you to meet our new transfer student, says you're all friends." He moved a step to the left to reveal Oliver standing behind him.

"He's not our friend." Marissa shrugged.

"I've never seen this kid before in my life." Seth nodded.

"Well as Social Chair, Marissa, you can show him round anyway." Bendis sighed at us before walking away.

"What's up guys?" Oliver smiled at us all. "I mean you don't call; you don't write…"

"You don't take a bunch of pills." I finished for him, a plastic smile covering my face as I opened my locker. I ripped down the map of the school I had tacked to the inside of the door and balled it up before throwing it at his head. "There's a map. Stay out of my way. Here endeth the tour." I told him walking away.

I found Marissa and Seth by my side as I walked into the nearest free class room. I dropped down into the nearest seat and simply shut my eyes to the world.

"For the first time in my life I'm wishing Luke had been around, simply so he could have shoved him into a locker." I sighed, rubbing my temples.

"What's he doing here?" I looked up and saw Seth looking out of the glass panel and into the hallway as he spoke to me. "I mean surely he doesn't think we would be his friends after that."

"I told him everything about Tijuana," I told Marissa biting my lip, "everything. He knows how that affected me." She sat down on my lap and leant her head on my shoulder. "Seriously, who would fake a suicide attempt?"

"You want to get out of here?" She asked me.

"Please."

"Lets go to L.A, we'll grab some lunch, maybe do some shopping." She shrugged. "Seth you too, its easier to avoid the girls if you're not in the same city as them."

"You had me at 'Lets go…'" he nodded, still looking out of the window. "Plus I think it will be an excellent way to reminisce about when you first got here." He turned away from the panel and smiled at me. "First stop on our pancake tour of North America."

"Technically it would be our second and I'm still all about the waffles." I smiled back at him, lifting Marissa from my lap and standing up.

"Pendent." He grumbled holding open the door for Marissa and I.

* * *

Seth dragged us to the Hard Rock Café for lunch and Marissa then dragged us round the shops. My escape from Oliver and school was less 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' than I had imagined it would be and more just a weekend with my best friend and my girlfriend. That was until Marissa, laden down with bags of shopping from the boutiques, whispered something in my ear that I never thought she'd say.

We dumped her bags off in the car before I took control of her Range Rover and drove us to one of my old neighbourhoods; with Seth looking between Marissa and I confused demanding to know what was going on. I parked the car outside the shop where I'd got my first tattoo and got nothing but lectures from Seth, him telling me that his parents were going to kill me if I got another tattoo. Marissa simply turned round to him and told him something he never thought she'd say.

The bell of the door chimed as we all walked in, I took Marissa's hand and led her over to the rack of tattoo designs and flicked through them, the picture's metal cages clanging together as we waited to be noticed.

"Well if it isn't the famous car thief." I closed my eyes, instantly recognising the voice's owner before turning round. "You don't call, you don't write…" Jodie smiled at me, leaning on the counter in front of her. "Some way to treat your girlfriend."

"You're not my girlfriend." I sighed. "You were never my girlfriend. You are however the reason Theresa slapped me."

"Yeah, T told me about Thanksgiving. Heard you brought some princess with you to pick up a hot car."

"That would be me." Marissa nodded over at her before spinning me round and lifting the back of my shirt. "I want this tattoo, can you do it for me?"

"Hold your horses, Princess, just trying to see what my friend's been up to." Jodie smiled at her slowly before walking round the counter towards me.

"Those are _my_ motorcycle boots." I pointed at her feet once she'd revealed them to me.

"You left them at Dave's." Jodie shrugged.

"You're screwing Dave now?" My hand was on my hip and my arm was gesturing wildly. "Are they any of my ex's you haven't slept with now?"

"Dave doesn't count." She scoffed back at me. "Besides the only girl I ever fucked that could remotely count as a girlfriend was T."

"Uh, guys?"

"What?!" I spat at Seth, still furious with Jodie.

"You Dave's a boy's name right?" I told Jodie and I timidly, whilst Marissa simply stood with her arms crossed and no doubtably rolling her eyes.

"Davina." I explained quickly brushing him off, turning my attention back to Jodie. "They're mine." I pointed at the boots again.

I watched her as she hoped onto the counter and pull at the heal of one of the boots before stopping and looking up at me, the book remaining in her hand and half way on her foot. "Trade you them for Princess's tattoo." She smiled at me. I looked between Marissa and the boots before nodding. "Hey Tom!" she called out to the back, a smile covering her face and the boot securely back on her foot. "Got a fresh one for you."

* * *

The tattoo parlour was hell. As Jodie redrew the tattoo so that could be xeroxed onto transfer paper I simply kept whispering to Marissa that we could go someplace else to get it. It got worse when she was in the chair, Jodie spent the entire twenty odd minutes interrogating Seth on my new life and Newport. The only thing that kept me from grabbing Marissa and walking out was the knowledge that she was getting a sixty dollar tattoo for a pair off boots I didn't think I was ever going to see again.

As soon as Marissa was back in the front room with Seth and I, the instruction sheet firmly in her hand, I had them following my trail back into the car. I started up the engine and Phantom Planet's 'California' came blaring out of the radio and I knew I was going home.

"This is the first song that played when Sandy picted me up from Chino." I told them as I drove away from Jodie and memories of a past life and headed onto the 101.

"Whatever, car thief." Marissa tried to stifle a laugh as she and Seth quickly moved to avoid my gaze.

* * *

"Can I borrow another top?" Marissa asked me as soon as Seth had opened the house door for us.

"The shirt is fine, I'm telling you." I sighed taking her purse from her shoulder so I could drop her car keys into it.

"Then why is it sticking to me?" She asked me pulling it over her head and inspecting the back of it.

"So that's what Marissa Cooper's underwear looks like…" Seth stood simply staring at Marissa's bra.

"Seth, I'm sleeping with your pseudo sister." She tutted at him before showing me the back of my shirt. "Is that blood? Am I bleeding?"

"Let me see." I told her, shoving Seth out of the way as I pulled down the hem of her pants

"Oh wow, no you're not bleeding." I smiled at the small of her back. "That is so hot." I told her as I fixed the hem of her pants and stood up again, batting Seth's hand away from trying to look himself. "You want a fresh top to wear though?" I asked her as she slipped my CBGB top back on. I took her hand to lead her though the house. "Plus I have a full length mirror you can check out your tat yourself."

"Think I should get a tattoo?" Seth asked, following us through the kitchen. "Maybe a crescent moon on my neck to show I'm a badass."

"You going to start wearing Alex's vest tops too then?" Marissa laughed at him.

"Please could you imagine Seth trying to be bad, he'd probably just end up 'steeling' one of his granddads cars to impress a girl." I stuck my tongue out as Seth, opening my bedroom door not paying attention to where I was going.

"What are you doing here Chino?" I spun round and found Luke moving my furniture and my room suddenly painted black.

"We thought you were going to be gone longer." Summer told me brandishing a power drill.

"Uh guys?" I frowned at them, "What are you doing?"

"I text them," Seth explained, "told them about your emo yesturday, that we were going to L.A thought it would be nice to show you that we all cared about you." He shrugged.

"All of us." Anna smiled.

I stepped further into the room and looked round it properly. My wardrobey thing had been moved to the far wall and above it had been tacked a map of California with pictures of the guys surrounding it, pieces of string linking the pictures to the town of Newport on the map.

"You left your wallet here." Anna explained when I looked at the picture of Jodie, Theresa and I all smiling at the Winter Fling with a piece of string linking us all to Chino. "Summer found the picture of your old friends and so we took it to that photo shop on Third..." she finished her sentence with a shrug as I looked at all the pictures they had linked to Newport. The was a picture of Seth and I before Cotillion, Marissa and I at the 'Kick off Carnival' and a couple of all of us.

I stepped up onto the raised level and walked round to where my wardrobey thing had been and found a drum kit had been drawn on the wall in white and grey paints to show up over the black of the walls, the bass drum having Newport written across it.

"You like?" Summer smiled nervously at me.

"I love it you guys." I beamed back at them. "All of you. Thank you so much." Marissa walked over to me and wrapped and arm around my waste.

"You can never go back now you realise," Seth smiled at me, "its going to take Mom and Dad ages to paint over the black."

"Why would I go back when this is my home?" I smiled back at him. I looked round the room once more before flinging myself down on the bed, soon to be joined by the others. "You really should have done Cooper's room first though, her's is just like a giant, badly organised closet."

* * *

R&R people, thank you. Circus.


	18. The Great Cohen

I have horrible writer's block and this was written in spite of all that. So basically this chapter sucks. But I promise you if you can get through it I have a smashing one coming up for you. Just please get through this one first.

* * *

**The Great Cohen**

I had laid awake all night the words going round and round in my head, the picture of me and Seth taken down from my newly painted wall in one hand and the Cohen Christmas photo in the other. I looked between them as I rehearsed my speech for the next morning, the words going round and round in my head.

I spent ages dressing, trying to find the perfect outfit, wanting to everything to be perfect as I rehearsed my speech, the words going round and round in my head. I settled on my new orange Ramones T-shirt and black pair of skinny jeans, the words still going round and round in my head as I finally plucked up the courage to actually say them.

I walked into the kitchen and found everything as I expected it. Seth eating cereal at the counter complaining at his parents, as they stood besides the coffee pot trying to embarrass him.

"Morning," Kirsten smiled at me, "you want some coffee before school?"

"No I'm okay." I replied simply, digging my hands deep into my pocket. "I was wondering if I could talk to you – all of you." I looked round at them, and found my head shrunk into my shoulders as I stood there nervously. "You may want to sit down."

"Oh my god, she's breaking up with us." Seth laughed, having swivelled round on his stool to face me.

"What is it?" Sandy frowned at me, neither he nor Kirsten having moved from their position by the coffee.

"Well I was wondering, well I'd like to ask you a question, well its more like a favour really I guess…" I didn't realise I was pacing until I stopped. "I want, well I've been thinking… it might be soon, but in some respects its very late, by like nearly seventeen years…"

"Don't let her near the coffee." I heard Kirsten whisper to Sandy as I started up pacing again as I tried to find the point of my speech.

"It was Bendis that triggered all this," I was wringing my hands choosing to continue pacing rather than stand and pace them. Then I just suddenly stopped, stopped wringing my hands, stopped pacing, stopped stuttering and rambling and simply looked at all of them, their looks of confusion and finally spat it all out. "I want to change my name."

"I'll sort out the paper work." Sandy smiled at me walking over and patting me on the shoulder.

"I could think of nothing better." Kirsten whispered in my ear as pulled me into a hug. "Don't tell Seth but I've always wanted a daughter."

"Change your name to what?" Seth frowned at me, and then to his parents both of whom were leaving the kitchen. "Oh get it I'm just hear for comic relief." He called out to me as I went back out to find my school bag.

* * *

"What you going to change your name to?" Seth asked me for what seemed like the thousandth time since I had walked into the kitchen, given by this point we were walking through the school grounds I had grown tired of the subject. "Jenny? Bea? No, wait, Elizabeth – you should change your name to Elizabeth!"

"I'm not changing my name." I told him. "Well I am but, what the hell kind of name is Bea and can you really see me as a Jenny?" I frowned at him as we walked up the steps to our lockers.

"I could." Marissa smiled at me as she joined us en rout. "But you'd have to have brown hair and hang out in an Irish bar all the time."

"Okay," I said slowly, "moving on from that interlude. I finally got round to asking Kirsten and Sandy."

"Finally." She laughed as I opened up my locker, "I mean you've only been talking about it for like a week now."

"Well its Bendis isn't it." I shrugged. "I just can't seem to get him to stop."

"And changing your name is the way to do that?" She raised her eyebrow at me. "You told the others?"

"No, I'm not entirely sure on the best way to do it."

"Well how bout just say 'From now on call me Princess Inanna.'" Seth held out his right hand as if formally introducing himself. Marissa and I simply looked incredibly perplexed at him.

"You what?" we said, practically simultaneously.

"Sorry," he said somewhat sheepishly, "still going through potential new names as no ones told me what the hell is going on."

"Dude," I laughed at his stupidity, "I'm going to become a Cohen."

"Oh… Can you still become Princess Inanna though?"

"I feel we have missed a crucial part of this conversation?" Anna frowned at Marissa and I as she and Summer joined us just as I closed my locker, freeing up my hand to have a coffee pressed into it.

"Alex is-"

"Late for homeroom." I cut into Seth's sentence quickly, whilst Marissa kicked him in the shins. "Coming?" I asked Anna.

"Sure…" she said slowly still frowning between me and Marissa before taking back the coffee she'd just handed me, "I am withholding coffee until Summer and I get put back in the loop."

"But the coffee is our morning routine. You and Summer go get coffee, you get an extra one for me and I piss of Marissa by calling you 'my girl'. I am nothing without my routine." I looked at Marissa who had her arms folded.

"Its true. She is." She nodded, her arms still folded as she looked between Anna and I: Anna's hand on my chest pushing me away, my hands trying to reach the coffee.

"Anna and I have decided that we're withholding friend privileges until we become part of the fold again. No more spontaneous trips to L.A leaving us here stuck with Luke and Oliver. No more secret conversations about princesses." Summer looked directly at Seth. "I know I did wrong but…" she smiled weakly at him, "I'm, I'm gay."

Marissa unfolded her arms, Anna and I stopped fighting over the coffee and Seth simply walked away. Summer despondently rearranged her purse before taking Marissa's arm and walking to registration.

"Huh." I said without realising it as Anna put the coffee in my hand and led me to homeroom. "You know about that?"

"Well yeah, but I didn't know she was going to tell Seth." She shrugged as walked to the back of the class to our seats. She stopped suddenly, causing me to walk into the back of her. "Oh yeah and I meant to mention…" she waved her arm and I realised why she'd stopped so suddenly.

"You're in my seat." I told Oliver. "You're in my homeroom. You're also still in my life. You have one second to vacate all three."

"Alex let me explain." He sat there calmly as if he'd done nothing wrong.

"I can't talk to him." I told Anna. "You do it." I sighed as I walked out of the classroom.

* * *

I sat at the lunch table we always reserved just for us, hiding from Oliver whilst wondering who was actually going to turn up for lunch today. I hadn't seen Seth since Summer more or less ripped out his heart. Marissa had been sending me text messages telling me that Summer wasn't going to hang out with us until Seth forgave her. And well Anna, she had just been trying to keep me away from Oliver all morning.

"He's in all my classes." I told Marissa as she slumped down in the seat besides me.

"She's contemplating doing a Cady Heron and eating her lunch in the stalls. Anna's in there with her right now."

"I wish people would stop referencing Mean Girls in front of me and he is in all of my classes. I'm surprised he hasn't had a sex change to take gym with me too." I looked over at her and saw her face. "You're going to the 'I told you so' dance aren't you."

"I'm singing the lyrics silently in my head…" she nodded.

"So Summer and Anna and Seth?"

"I heard my name." Seth smiled weakly at us as he walked over, his hands deep in his pockets. "You know I have no friends?" Marissa and I simply looked at him. "Well I'm avoiding Summer and Anna and you," he pointed angrily, "have also replaced me with Anna, meaning I have no friends."

"Quit being emo and sit down." I told him, rearranging myself on my seat so that I could kick out the one opposite me at the table. "Now I have come up with a cunning plan."

"Is it for getting Summer back?"

"Hit him round the back of the head for me please." I sighed at Marissa, she dutifully complied.

"She's gay now." She told him.

"So…" I clapped, trying to get the attention back onto me, "I thought how about a dinner party. Us lot, Summer, Anna, Luke-"

"Luke?" Seth frowned at me.

"Well he's Marissa's friend, plus," I shrugged, "I kinda like having a guy friend."

"So today I have lost not only the place of your best friend but your guy friend too?" Seth instantly complained at me.

"Dude! You're my brother, my cool brother that doesn't get me into jail or stealing cars." I smiled at him. "I can demote Anna though if you just want to be my best friend…" I watched him as he folded his arms and sulked in his chair, a clear sign that I had won him over. "So," I turned to Marissa, "I was thinking formal wear, fancy china – a Newport party in the spirit of things."

"Oh my god," Marissa smiled at me, with a slight shake of her head, "what happened to the hoddie wearing, fire starting, ex con?"

"You two." I smiled at her.

"Hey guys," I looked away from Marissa and found Oliver standing over us with a tray, "mind if I join you all… it seems making friends as a transfer student isn't the easiest thing in the world."

"No its not." I agreed, grabbing my bag from the floor and standing up and leaving him standing there with his tray.

"At least I have more friends than Oliver." Seth mused as we all walked into the Common Room.

* * *

"Kids," Kirsten leant out of the window and called out to Seth and I in the pool, "come on out, the caterers will be her soon."

"I can't believe Sandy and Kirsten are paying caterers for this. This is meant to be a low key, dinner with friends and Mr C deal." I told Seth as I swam to the edge of the pool and hoped out.

"Low key in formal wear?" his eyebrows were raised as he mirrored my actions and grabbed a towel from one of the chairs. "You wanted a Newport party; besides it was that or Mom cooking." He smiled at me.

"Has our oven even been used since Thanksgiving?"

"I make it my daily mission to guarantee that is it not."

"That's a lot of words for 'No'." I smiled at him, throwing my towel over his head. I watched as he pulled it off and simply stood there with a goofy grin on his face. "Yes this is me in a bikini," I sighed, "you've seen it before."

"Its not that." He continued to smile at me. "I just think I've come out better than Marissa, Anna or Luke. I get you as a sister."

"You're such a pouf." I smiled at him as I went into the pool house to shower and change.

* * *

When I stepped back out into the garden it had been transformed. Fairly lights hung from anywhere they could be and in the centre of the grass a long table had been laid for nine people. It was simple and elegant. It was the Newport party I had wanted.

With my speech tucked in to the left cup of my bra I walked into the main house and found Kirsten talking to one of the caterers about wine and Anna, Summer and sat on the sofa consumed by an awkward silence. The girls looked beautiful, both dressed like they had on cotillion except for a touch of colour.

"Hey guys." I smiled at them.

"Sarah Jessica Parker called," Anna smiled at me as she looked my outfit up and down, "she wants her dress back. Summer unfolded her arms and pointed to my Converse. "Better make that Lily Allen."

"Why are we here and why am I wearing what can only be described as a prom dress to sit in your living room?" Summer asked me, her arms once more folded across her chest. "This better be a 'Welcome back to the fold' party or I'm not staying."

"Seth has agreed to say nothing about lesbians and don a tux for this evening-"

"Thanks for that man." Seth smiled sarcastically at me.

"You two are staying." I pointed at the girls, before running out to answer the door. I opened it and found Luke nervously and incredibly awkwardly talking about sports with Mr C.

"Hey kiddo." He smiled at me, patting me on the arm before going into the house to find Sandy and Kirsten.

"I'm so glad you opened the door – talking to my ex's dad is not fun."

"Where's Marissa?" I asked Luke, not really caring what he had to say and stepping past him to look down the drive.

"Mr Cooper said she was coming with Summer. Will you tell me why I'm in a tu-"

"Summer's already here." I told him, running back through the house to find Mr C.

"You know the last time I wore a tux I got punched." He sighed as Kirsten poured him a glass of wine in the kitchen.

"Me too." Sandy nodded at him.

"That wasn't a tux, that was a dinner jacket." Kirsten smiled at him. "What's up Alex? You ready to tell them why they're all dressed for Prom?"

"Marissa's not here." I told her though looking at Mr C as I did.

"She's coming with Summer."

"She's not." I told him. "Summer's in the living room."

"I'll call the house, she's probably just got held up." He smiled at me pulling out his cell phone. I shrugged and walked past him to pick up the land line and dialled Marissa's cell phone number as I waited for Jimmy to tell me if she was at home. "No answer."

"It went straight to voice mail." I told him dropping the phone back in its charger.

"Well lets just sit down and get started, she knows whats going on anyway." Kirsten told me, going to get the other four so we could sit down for dinner.

I ran out to my room and grabbed my cell, I found it just as I had left it – on my bed, not a text, not a missed call, simply lying there. I tried her cell once more but like before it went straight to voice mail. I cut the call and went to join the others at the table, setting my phone besides my knife and fork.

"So Chino, you going to tell us whats going on?" Luke smiled at me.

"I'd rather wait for Marissa." I told Kirsten quietly.

"Well lets just eat." She nodded, gesturing for me to sit down at the head of the table and for the caterers to start.

Before a single starter had been sat down on the table though a cell phone went off. Everybody automatically checked theirs but only Luke got up nervously and answered his phone.

"She'll call." Sandy smiled at me, having watched me watch my cell for activity. "She wouldn't miss this."

"Not that anyone knows what 'this' is. Some of us are still very much out of the loop." Summer frowned down the table at me.

"Well I guess-" I started, but before I could even begin to stutter out an explanation, Luke was tapping me on the shoulder and pulling me out of my chair. "What is it?"

"Its Marissa." He told me quickly.

"Why'd she call you?" I frowned at him.

"That doesn't matter," he brushed me off, "Oliver's at hers and he's got a gun."

"Start the car." I told him before going over to Sandy and Mr C. "Marissa's in trouble." I told them simply before following Luke out to the truck.

* * *

Luke broke more speed limits than I had ever seen him door before as we drove across town to Mr C's, Sandy on the phone to the police the entire car ride. As soon as Luke had made an attempt at parking we were out of the car and following Mr C as he fumbled with his keys and the lock.

What I saw then, can never be unseen.

Marissa sat crying on the sofa, shaking and alone in a ball gown as Oliver paced in front of her waving a weapon I hadn't seen since Chino.

"Put the gun down, kid." Sandy told him, gingerly stepping into Mr C's front room.

"Alex!" Marissa cried out to me, too scared to move from the sofa, tears steaming down her face.

"Oliver you don't want to do this." I told him, stepping into the room in Sandy's wake.

"I'm sorry." He cried back at me, matching Marissa tear for tear.

"Oliver put the gun down." Sandy repeated.

"Why are you doing this? Why Marissa?" I asked him softly, praying to any god that would listen that the police would arrive soon.

"For you." He cried out to me. "All this," he waved the gun round the room before stopping to point it at Marissa, "is for you. To get you back. We belong together Alex. We're the same you and me. Abandoned by our parents, in a new town, alone, different…" I swallowed hard as I tried to repress the tears I could feel forming.

I looked round the room, Sandy still inching into the room, Mr C holding Luke back and my eyes rested on Marissa crying on the sofa.

"Just put the gun down Oliver," I told him as a police pushed past me, "and you can get a second change too." I whispered as he was dragged away.

* * *

The room was quiet. Luke had gone back to tell the others what had happened. Sandy had gone to the police station with Oliver and Mr C had finally left me alone with Marissa as he called Julie. The room was quiet. Finally.

"I'm sorry." My head was bowed, my eyes staring down at my hands, too ashamed to look at her.

"My mom was right." She laughed gently, I turned and saw her shaking her head and wiping away tears with the back of her hand. "Who'd have thought it?" She turned to me and I saw her smile darkly at me from behind her veil of tears.

"I'm sorry." I repeated.

"You're nothing but trouble." She told me, leaving me on the sofa in my dress and walking slowly upstairs.

The room was quiet. She left me sitting where she had been, crying as she had been realising why she called Luke instead of me. The room was quiet though my thoughts were deafening. The words going round and round in my head, the paper in my left cup of my pocket redundant as I thought about what I would have said.

_F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote 'In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning round in my head ever since,' well my father on one of the rare occasions I visited him in jail told me to never get arrested. In reflection that's the worst advice I've ever been given.  
In Chino I made my friends my family, lacking a real one to call my own. Having been arrested, where many lose it all I gained the world. I gained a father, a mother and a brother. I gained some of the best friends I've ever had. Met people that I otherwise wouldn't have, and I would have been a lesser person for that. Furthermore I have a girlfriend I wouldn't change for the world._  
_This is my home now. This is where I belong. This is my family. And this is why I'm changing my name to Alexandra Cohen._

I had spent so much time and effort showing people how I had changed since coming to Newport, I'd failed to realise that I hadn't changed at all. I still shut people out of my life, leaving them no room to explain, to come back in. I had left people in Chino, I had pushed away my mom, my brother, forced away Marissa when she didn't tell me what I wanted to hear and closes myself off to Oliver when he needed me most.

* * *

Yeah so this chapter blew, but as you can tell the next chapter will be an return to angst for Alex and so consequently will not suck. Thanks for reading. Circus.


	19. The Heartbreak

**The Heartbreak**

I took a last look around the room, checking I had everything I needed before zipping up Trey's old hoodie and flipping the hood up. I hit the lights and closed the door quietly behind me, I rearranged the my school bag on my should and walked through the yard and out of the gate. I kept my head down and made it all the way down to the end of the yard before I heard my name.

I closed my eyes to the world before turning round and facing Sandy.

"2:33 in the morning, not bad," he nodded at me as he made his way towards me, "Kirsten thought you'd wait a little later before you ran away." His arm was around my shoulder and he was steering me back towards the house. "You wanted to be a Cohen that means staying put when things get rough." I looked up at him. "It wasn't your fault." He told me quietly as walked with me back through the gate into the back yard. "Now at least pretend to sleep." I opened my mouth but Sandy cut me off. "The guard would have stopped you at the gate anyway."

I simply nodded back at him and went back in through my bedroom door. I dropped my school bagged filled with clothes where I stood and dropped myself down on my bed and went back to staring at the ceiling.

I couldn't sleep cause every time I closed my eyes I saw her sitting on the sofa crying in her ball gown with a gun pointed at her.

* * *

I walked into the kitchen, still wearing the clothes from the night before and headed straight to the coffee pot.

"How you doing, kid?" Sandy asked me, passing me a mug.

"Coffee." I told him simply. "Coffee."

"Its caveman Alex." Seth nodded at me, though he quickly stopped when his mother hit him gently round the back of the head.

"That good, huh?" Sandy smiled at me half heartily as I practically downed the cup I had just poured trying find something that would fill me with life.

"Well you're about to be great," Kirsten smiled at me, holding up a bow and arrow, "because tomorrow is the big Valentines Day singles gala-" I put my coffee cup down and walked back out to my room.

I scooped up my school back from its place by the door and dumped the clothes within it on my bed before going round my room finding the books I needed for school. I looked up when I heard a tentative knock at my door.

"That was pretty much the least tactful thing I could have said."

"Could have throw in a gun reference." I smiled glumly at Kirsten. "I haven't heard from Marissa since…" I trailed off. I didn't know how to finish the sentence.

"Its not your fault." She told me quietly.

"People keep telling me that. The one person I need to hear it from won't even answer my calls or text me back."

"Well, it's a holiday," Kirsten smiled at me, "big party, you guys are gonna dress up, everyone's going to be there…" she trailed off when she realised what she'd said. "Just like normal." I looked up at her properly since the first time she'd entered my room. "I'm gonna go…"

* * *

"So its Valentines Day." Seth nodded glumly at me as we stepped out of Sandy's car and started our way towards the main building.

"Yup, now we're not only meant to be happy but in a couple and happy otherwise Hallmark will get us! Good times."

"Still not speaking to you?"

"No. But given the circumstances…" I trailed off once more. "But hey," I smiled at him, "we have a Valentines singles gala."

"And you thought this week would suck." He smiled back at me.

"Hold that thought." I told him as I spotted Marissa across the yard and ran over towards her. "Hey."

"Hey." She nodded back at me. I stepped across her and opened the door for her. "Thanks."

"How'd you sleep?"

"I didn't." she told me. "And by the looks of you, you didn't either." I merely shrugged as I followed her to her locker. "Look," she quickly spun round. "I didn't pick up your calls or text you back cause I don't want to talk about it." I opened my mouth but she cut me off before I had even started. "You making puppy dog eyes at me, and asking me how I'm doing isn't going to make me feel better any quicker, just makes me feel guilty for not getting past it quicker." She sighed as she opened her locker. "Just… Time… and space." Marissa told me, looking at me for the first time since I'd run over to her. "You're wearing Trey's hoddie, you ran away. That's mature."

"I'm so-"

"Don't you _dare_ apologise to me." She snapped quickly at me, slamming her locker shut without having removed any books and storming off.

"That looked brutal." Seth sighed in my ear having joined me simply standing there watching Marissa down the hallway.

"Marissa and I are fighting," I sighed back at him, "it must be the holidays."

* * *

I sat and waited for Anna in homeroom and when she didn't turn up I turned up late to my first class having been forced to buy my own coffee.

"Atwood you're late." Bendis smiled at me.

"Cohen." I smiled back at him, sipping from my coffee. "I'm a Cohen now." He simply pointed to the 'No food or drinks' sign he had tacked in his classroom and took my coffee from me.

I rolled my eyes and looked round for a place to sit, I looked at my usual seat but found it occupied by Luke who was deep in conversation with Marissa. So I simply sat with the water polo players and prayed the hour would go fast.

* * *

"Hey Summer," I called across the busy corridor as I pushed through the crowd off people.

"Hey." She smiled at me. "You going to this singles gala thingy?"

"Yeah, Kirsten is making us have a normal holiday."

"Well its for the hospital Dad works at so I'll be there too."

"Cool. Just one small question-"

"Marissa has instructed me to answer all comments with a simple 'Don't appologise.'" She smiled glumly at me as she fumbled with the padlock on her locker.

"Wow, this wasn't going to be about Marissa but that helped." I shook my head quickly. "I just wanted to know where Anna is."

"She's in Pittsburgh, visiting her Aunt and Uncle."

"She left you along for Valentines?" I frowned at her.

"Don't get me started." She pointed at me. "And don't you dare tell Seth." I drew a line across my lips and then two across my heart. "Good, now I've got to go get Coop some caffeine, she's in the library studying… You can tell you two are fighting she's working." She sighed.

"You know I could get it." I offered, trying to act nonchalantly.

* * *

"One non fat, half and half, tall Cappuccino." I smiled proudly at Marissa as I put the coffee down besides her.

"I told Summer to get me a latte." She sighed, moving the drink off her papers. "What you want a cookie?" she asked me after looking up and finding me still smiling at her. "You got me a coffee not the winning lottery numbers."

"I want you to stop watching House." I mumbled back at her.

"Go away, I have a French paper due." She turned her attention back to the papers in front of her, one hand flicking though an English to French dictionary whilst she sipped from her coffee.

"You know-"

"Don't." she pointed at me, not looking up from the dictionary so I simply walked away.

* * *

The house was quiet. Seth and I sat playing video games, neither of us talking, both of us thinking about girls. Kirsten banged about in the kitchen, clearly in a rage with Sandy about something as every time he spoke she cut him off, just as Marissa had me.

However much Sandy tried to goad conversation out of us all, nothing much was said until I accidentally let slip that Anna had gone back East at which point Seth started smiling and making jokes along with his father.

"Oh god," Kirsten leaned over the table and whispered into my ear, "they're happy."

"This does not bode well for us."

* * *

"How's everything with you and Marissa?" Luke asked me as we moved furniture around at the club house, Kirsten having roped us all into helping set up. "Is she coming to the party tonight?"

"Why are you asking me, you're the one she talks to."

"Don't look at me like that, man." He sighed at me. "Nothings going on."

"Then why she call you?" I asked him, dumping the table we were moving and walking round it so I was merely inches from his face. As tall as I tried to make myself I still found that it was him staring me down rather than vice versa.

He smiled at me and leant down so he could whisper in my ear: "You keep telling people you've changed, why don't you act like it. Use your head, she called me cause I was the only one that listened to her about Oliver. She left me for you, don't forget that now you've _changed_." He lifted his head once more and smiled at me properly, patting my shoulder like he actually cared about me. "The sooner you realise that it's never gonna go back to the way it was… the sooner you can move on."

"That's where you're wrong." I pointed at him, before dropping it all not in the mood for confrontation and simply smiled at him. "Old Alex would already be fucking another girl by now. New Alex, is in love."

"New Alex is a fool."

"A fool in love, and love is on my side; otherwise there wouldn't be nearly so many songs about it." I smiled at him.

"You have been spending far too much time with Cohen." Luke smiled back at me. "So w-what about Marisssa's mom, do you think she's coming to this thing?"

"Julie and I tend to stay out of each others' way." I told him.

"I was just trying to get a head count for the event." He held his hands up defensively.

"You've got odder." I told him.

"Everybody's changing." He shrugged, picking up the small table by himself and walking it across the room.

"And I don't feel the same." I whispered after him, turning round to find something else to lift. However, I found myself face to, well, tray with one of the caterers.

"Keane." The girl told me, dropping her tray to reveal her face. "You are the only one in America obsessed by British indie music, you know that right?"

"You're the only one in America who followed my obsession." I smiled at Theresa. "What are you doing here?"

"I figured what better way to celebrate Valentines Day then serve pâté to a bunch of rich people." I simply bit my lip. "Oh, these are your friends an neighbours, sorry." She looked sheepishly at me.

"Some are even my family now, pull back my collar you'll find Cohen written on the label."

"You're Jewish now?" She frowned at me.

"Well, half." I shrugged, taking the tray from her and setting it down on a near by table. "I don't suppose I can bum a cigarette?"

* * *

We sat outside the club on the steps, slowly chain smoking our way through the remains of her twenty pack. The Hispanic servant and the outcast from the community, sitting talking as members past us.

I filled her in on everything I should have told her at Thanksgiving and then I told her the rest. I explained about the car, the thief, the jump-suit and the lawyer. I explained about the mansion, the brother, the mother and the father. I explained about the kids, the fire and the school. And finally I told her about how I had betrayed the only girl I had ever called my girlfriend by refusing to let everything change me.

As I spoke to her I realised how I had thrown every opportunity away by simply going through the motions. Though I was talking more, about real things rather than just jokes and sarcasm, I wasn't listening in return. Though I was wearing clothes with labels, going to a school that promised college rather than the military, surrounded by kids with a future rather than those with jail time ahead of them… I hadn't changed at all. I had said the right things, made the right steps but crucially, where it mattered I was the same hoodie wearing ex con.

"So now he's in the hospital, he could be there a while." I told her, flicking another cigarette butt into the gravel of car park.

"Wow, that's unbelievable, no wonder she's so pissed off." Theresa nodded besides me, I simply looked at her vacantly. "I'd be," she shrugged, "you treated him the same way you treat everyone else you don't want to deal with, but completely shutting them out or brushing them off. She ended up with a gun in her face because your actions."

"Thanks, that really helps."

"Sorry," she looked sheepishly at me, "it's none of my busine-" she cut herself off as a shadow fell over us.

"Its really not." Marissa told her, arms folded across her chest. "You don't run away so you bring Chino here?" she frowned at me.

"Hi Marissa," Theresa stood up and held out her hand towards her, "Theresa, Thanksgiving we-"

"I remember."

"I'm helping cater the event." She pointed back into the club house.

"You don't know what happened." Marissa said simply. "Don't act like you do."

"She was on your side." I told her, standing up.

"Like you were meant to be?" Marissa asked me, walking through us and into the building.

"Leave her." Theresa suggested, pulling me back down the steps. "Give her ti-"

"Time, space. I know." I spat at her shrugging her off me.

"And why not?" Theresa spat back at me. "She doesn't go to Hills, she doesn't live in the neighbourhood we grew up in, she doesn't have family locked up. She's never seen a gun before. This is new ground for her, for all she knows she could have been shot because you wouldn't take the time to listen."

I found myself sitting back down on the steps. It seemed so obvious when it was spelt out to me.

* * *

I came out of the en suit and found Seth sitting in one of my chairs, dressed and ready to head out.

"You might want to let up. They say when you've drawn blood, you've exfoliated."

"You know when you're quoting Spike, I cut you off Buffy." I told him, going through my clothes trying to find something to wear. "What are you doing in here anyway?"

"One day when I'm reflecting back on my life I think I'm gonna remember these chats before the big events as my favourite times." I looked over at him. "Okay so chat would be an overstatement given that I'm always the one talking…"

"What you want to talk about?" I asked him, holding up different tops in front of my body as I examined myself in the full length mirror.

"Its Valantine's night, she's alone, abandoned and feeling vulnerable."

"She doesn't want to talk to me." I told him, picking out a T-shirt to wear under my waistcoat.

"Summer's not speaking to you?" I turned round and faced him.

"No Marissa's not speaking to me. Who are you talking about?"

"Summer."

"Oh," I nodded at him, "about that, Anna text me told me to keep you two separate at all times."

"Anna doesn't trust Summer? Interesting." Seth mused in the corner.

"No, Anna's jealous of you." I corrected him, going into my en suit and dressing out of view of Seth. "You have a part of Summer that Anna can never touch. She ran to you when she was insecure about her sexuality, lost her virginity with you, you weren't the only one that was surprised Summer picked Anna." I called out to him.

"I've really lost Anna as my friend haven't I?" He called back to me.

"Only if you make it that way." I told him stepping out, flinging my towel across my room and into my laundry bin. "How'd I look?"

"As you always do," Seth shrugged, "you're in a waistcoat and T-shirt."

"Big help." I nodded at him, crossing my room and quickly fiddling with my hair. "As soon as you realise that things can never go back to the way they were…" I trailed off, horrified that I was not only taking Luke's advice but furthermore churning it back as my own. "Embrace the friend."

"Embrace the friend…?" he sighed as he watched me put my hair up into a quiff.

* * *

Seth and I spent the party talking about girls, me sending stolen glances to Marissa whilst asking him his advice, him looking longingly at Summer asking me what he should do about Anna. We stood there locked in conversation, steeped in awkwardness as neither of us knew what the hell was going to happen afterwards.

"Hey, if I teach you guy's anything," Sandy sighed out to us don't ever get married.

"With the way things are going, Dad, how do you ever see that happening?" Seth asked him.

"Good point." He nodded at us before heading back into the party.

"So what are we going to do about our opponents?" Seth asked me once his father was out of earshot.

"If life here has taught me nothing," I told him, looking up at the girls looking down at us from the upper level, "we have two ways of doing this. We either work with time and space and hope wounds will heal or we ignore personal boundaries and power through."

"Well I'm going to have to power through this one," Seth sighed, "what do you think Marissa is going to choose?"

"Well she says she wants time and space-"

"Meaning she wants it." Theresa joined us offering us a plateful of food. "Want some of this, uh, actually I have no idea what this is."

"Odds are mushroom leek crescent, crab an brie phyllo." Seth told her. "It usually is."

"Seth this is my friend Theresa." I rolled my eyes at the pair of them.

"Theresa from Chino, Theresa? Pepermint Patty?" Seth smiled at me whilst shaking her hand.

"You told him about your more musical days?" Her eyebrow was raised as she said that, I simply glared back at her. "I'm gunna go…"

"So that's the girl that cheated on you?" Seth asked me, I simply glared back at him. "I'm gunna go with her…"

* * *

"Can we just," I shrugged at my girlfriend sitting alone at a table, glass of wine in her hand, "start over?"

"Start over?" she frowned at me as she sipped from the glass.

"Hey," I smiled at her holding out my hand, "I'm Alex, you know my brother Seth right?"

"I know what your trying to do and… I cant." She told me, tipping back her head and downing the wine, looking round the room. "I'm sorry." She told me walking away.

I slumped down into her vacated seat, everybody just kept walking away. Nobody seemingly knowing how to deal with me, how to talk to me. Though as I sat in that crowded room, surrounded by people I realised I was the only one alone.

"Is it okay if I hang here?" Sandy asked me, sitting besides me.

"Only if you don't say 'hang'." I warned him, grabbing a glass of wine from one of the passing waiters.

"Valentines Day is wonderful isn't it?"

"Yeah, Hallmark breathing down our necks…"

"I said something similar to Kirsten," he smiled at me, "you really are my kid now aren't you?"

"And you really are stupid. You don't say shit like that to women. I leant that the hard way last year." I smiled back at him.

"So what are you doing this year?" He asked me.

"Trying to get my girlfriend to talk to me." I sighed at him.

"Really?" He shook his head and gave me a knowing smile that for the first time I didn't take to be patronising. "Seventeen years later, it doesn't get any easier."

I followed his eye line and found him watching Kirsten across the room.

"Flowers." I told him. "Girls like flowers."

* * *

I wasted five minutes looking for Theresa, then a further five minutes looking for Seth, Anna was the other side of the country consequently I had no one to sign off on my plan. Eventually I gave up looking for Summer and just hoped for the best.

I left just a single lily at her door, the note attached to it reading '_I dare you to love me_.'

* * *

Show a writer you care; read and review. Thank you, Circus.


	20. The Third Person

**The Third Person**

"What the _hell_ is this?" Marissa asked, storming into my room as I read.

"It's a lily." I told her. "I was watching _Imagine Me & You_ and thought…" I trailed off when I realised the anger on her face was not going to dissipate.

"'_I dare you to love me_'?" she spat at me. "You think I don't love you?" I opened my mouth to protest but thought better of it. "I had a gun pointed at my head because of you and you think I don't love you?" I opened and shut my mouth again. "You are impossible." She shouted at me, throwing the lily on my bed before walking out of my room just as quickly as she'd come leaving me looking between her rapidly retreating figure and the lily I'd had thrown at me.

I folded down the page of my book and got up, taking the simple flower to the kitchen with me. I found a long glass and filled it with water, dropping the lily into it and placing it on the side before returning to my bed and my book.

* * *

"Hey buddy," Seth smiled at me, "what you reading?"

"Great Expectations, its about this orfa-"

"So I have decided this will be an era of personal growth for me." He cut into my sentence. "I am going to be less narcissistic. I am going to be the New Seth Cohen. The New Seth Cohen is just like the Old Seth Cohen just more Anna'ry. The New Seth Cohen is going to listen and offer advice and be less narcissistic. The New Se-"

"For the love of god man," I snapped my book shut, "please stop referring to yourself in the third person."

"Done." He pointed and smiled at me. "So what's with the flower?"

I turned round and looked to where he was pointing before turning back to him, "That's my 'Marissa still loves me' flower."

"Cool. So do you think Summer is going to like this New Seth Cohen?"

"Wow that period of growth lasted long." I sighed under my breath. "You're doing all this for Summer?" I frowning at him, closing my book realising I wasn't going to get anything done. "Cause she's gay now."

"Not just Summer…" He trailed off. "I'm gunna go…" He told me walking out of my room.

"People keep doing that." I frowned at his retreating figure before going back to my book.

"Monday morning, Alex." Seth smiled at me as we walked through the school grounds. "Its Monday morning, time to test out the New Seth Cohen, no good just wasting him round the house."

"Can the New Seth Cohen please stop saying Seth Cohen?" I asked him, as I rummaged around in my bag to find my ringing phone. "Hey T." I smiled into it, knowing she would be the only person to call me from the 909 area.

"When are you going to take Avril Lavigne off your ringt-" he stopped talking when I put my hand over his mouth.

"_Was that Seth?_" Theresa asked me from the other end.

"Yeah, but the new and improved version, apparently." I sighed, walking away from him. "How did you get my number?"

"_Called your house, your Jewish mother gave me this number._"

"She's a WASP."

"_You're living with WASPs now? Get out, get out whilst you still can._" Theresa laughed at me.

"Please I put up with a family of Hispanic Catholics I can deal with anything. Why are you calling me?"

"_I'm coming out your way today-_"

"For work?" I cut into her sentence as I opened up the door to the main building, knowing Seth would continue following me so I simply stopped at his locker and leant against it as I continued my conversation with Theresa.

"_Yeah but…_" I heard her smile down the other end, "_they cant make us work all the time right, so I was thinking maybe we could hang out tonight._"

"That's cool." I nodded, though she couldn't see it. "Come by the house, I'll show you where I live now and my 'Marissa still loves me' flower."

"_Sticking with the time and space plan?_"

"I'm going to fight for her. Through beer cans at peoples' heads, find a couple skeazy ex cons to do my dirty work."

"_You don't know anyone that's served time that's not related to one of us._"

"I know one…"

"_Hang up now and tell me you'll see me later._"

"I'll see you later." I told her before flipping my phone shut and dropping cell back into my bag. "So, New Seth Cohen, how much of that did you hear?"

"Theresa's coming over tonight huh?" He smiled at me as he fumbled around with books in his locker.

I simply shook my head and walked away to find Anna before Homeroom, however, I ended up just walking into Marissa.

"Hey." I tried to smile at her.

"Hey." She nodded back at me, leaving an awkward pause between us. "I'm sorry about last night." She eventually whispered. "I didn't mean to be quite so…"

"I get it. It was painful… but I get it." I sighed back. I watched her as she opened and closed her mouth, clearly struggling with what to say.

"I'm gunna go…" she said after a while.

"I do wish people would stop doing that." I sighed watching her leave.

* * *

I stepped out of my math class and found Marissa waiting by the door, clutching her books to her chest, just waiting.

"Hey." I smiled at her. "You look vaguely lost."

"Well, I was waiting… for you…" she bit her lip and shook her head. "Look, I don't know how to do this, so I'm just going to have to say it. I'm not ready to jump straight into everything, but coffee… You drink it. I drink it. Maybe we could drink it together sometime; tonight even?"

"Are you asking me out?" I frowned at her.

"It wouldn't be a date." She said quickly. "But friends, perhaps?"

"Okay," I said slowly, moving out of the way so the next class could pile into the room, "sure."

"So tonight, the Starbucks next to Abercrombie & Fitch in the mall?"

"Wow, that was so very Newport." I smiled at her.

"Well you're one of us now." She smiled back. "Seven?"

"Sure." I nodded at her. "Seven's per- Fuck!"

"Seven's perfuck?" she frowned at me.

"I'm seeing Theresa, but I can get out of it."

"Theresa's still here?"

"Not here, here… and its not like that. We're just friends." I told her quickly.

"Okay." She nodded. "How bout we go after school?"

"Now that I can do."

* * *

I waited on the wall for Marissa after school and we drove to the mall. We sat in Starbucks, her with a Frappuccino me with a simple black Americano, we sat both of us staring down as our drinks trapped in silence. She slurped from her drink as I sipped from mine both of us locked in silence that neither of us could find a way to escape from. It was as if we didn't know how to talk to each other. That was until she said his name.

We talked it through, not as lovers but as friends. No shouting, no snide remarks, minimal anger and minimal blame. There was sarcasm, but that was mainly me…

* * *

I got home just as Theresa was walking up the drive, I called out to her before she reached the door.

"You never told me you were in gated community." She smiled at me, looking round at all the mansions.

"Sorry, I guess I've been here so long that it no longer seems weird." I shrugged, digging into my school back for my keys. "You ready to meet the rest of the family?" she simply nodded and followed me into the house.

"Alex is that you?" Sandy called out from the kitchen.

"Yeah," I called back to him, taking Theresa's hand and leading her through the house behind me, "I brought someone for dinner if that's okay."

"Oh Mari-" Kirsten cut herself off when she saw Theresa.

"This is Theresa." I smiled at them.

"Nice to meet you, uh," Kirsten moved round the counter so that she could extend her hand, "I'm Kirsten an this is-"

"Sandy." he finished for her, shaking Theresa's hand too, "Hi, I've heard so much about you-"

"From Seth." Kirsten told her, looking at me.

"Its nice to meet you all." Theresa smiled at them. "Can I help? It looks great."

"Sure, uh, the key is taking the food out of the Styrofoam containers." Kirsten smiled back at her.

"But her real speciality is ordering." Sandy nodded.

"We don't let Mom cook." Seth explained walking into the kitchen. "Hey, how was Starbucks?" he asked her.

"Starbucks?" she frowned at him.

"That was with Marissa." I told him after a pregnant pause.

"You and Marissa are talking again?" Kirsten smiled at me.

"We're friends, at the moment." I nodded at her.

"Well that's more than you were two days ago," Sandy beamed, "so progress is being made."

"I feel that this is the beginning of personal growth for both of us." Seth smiled at me.

* * *

"So we're all dressed up for my brother's sixteenth birthday-"

"Must you tell a story when I either fall down or get injured?" I cut into Theresa's sentence, she had been telling stories about me falling over throughout dinner, "I already told Seth about the pin in my arm."

"You have a pin in your arm?" Kirsten frowned at me.

"You are aware that if I tell you this story you will instantly regret having me in your house." I warned her.

"Besides I've already heard that story." Seth nodded. "Did Alex fall down when you did musicals, maybe you could tell us about that?"

"You did musicals?" Sandy smiled between Theresa and I, "I did a musical or two myself in college."

"Oh someone please stop him before he starts singing 'Grease Lightening'" Kirsten sighed, looking pleadingly around the table.

"Do it Dad," Seth goaded him, more to spite his mother than out of actual want to hear him sing show tunes, "Travolta's your bitch!"

"Oh thank you son." Sandy smiled at him.

"Go ahead." Kirsten prompted Theresa to continue, hoping that would stop Sandy and Seth.

"So we were at the Holiday Inn at the revolving restaurant, and Alex has this thing about spinning round…" she trailed off when the door bell rang out through the house.

"I'll get it." I told the table, pushing my chair back. "If she's telling embarrassing stories, I'd rather not be here whilst she's doing it."

I walked through the house and just reached the door as the bell was rung again, I pulled open the door and found a face I was not expecting to see behind it.

"Hey Al." He smiled at me. My arms were folded as I leant on the door frame and blocked his entrance. "You never were much for talking."

"I'm getting better." I shrugged, arms remaining tight across my chest.

"I'm, uh, here for Theresa." My arms suddenly dropped as I was left to compose myself, not wanting my obvious shock to betray me.

"She's not here." I lied quickly. He simply stood to the side and revealed her car parked in my drive. "Okay," I conceded. "Wait here." I sighed before walking back through the house, to dinner and my family. "Uh," I pointed back at the front door, "that was Eddie."

"Who's Eddie?" Seth frowned at me as Theresa quickly rose.

"You should have got a cab." I told the panic that was covering her face.

"What does he want?" She asked.

"Didn't ask, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say you. No one drives from Chino into a gated community for no-" I cut myself off as it suddenly dawned on me. "You sleeping with him?" I asked her.

"We'll leave you. _Now_, Seth." Kirsten told us as she scrapped her chair back and pulled her son away from the table and into the next room.

I watched as she opened and closed her mouth. "Why are you here?" I asked her as she stumbled over what she was going to say.

"I came for you." She said honestly and barely above a whisper but then she looked up at me. "I'm not any more."

"I think we're going to have to cliff note this, angry guy not getting any less angry on my front step." I sighed at her.

"Eddie proposed. I came here. For you." she said with a slight roll of her eyes, "You're in love, yaddah yaddah-"

"Do not yaddah, yaddah my love!" I pointed at her.

"Not here for you anymore." She continued as if without interruption.

"What you want me to do about Eddie?"

"Get him to go?" She asked me hopefully.

"This guy used to regularly kick my arse I don't see this going well." I sighed as I walked back through the house and to my door. "Eddie!" I smiled at him as I pulled it back open. "Yeah she doesn't want to see you."

"You love her?" he asked me.

"What?" I frowned back at him.

"I do, okay, I do… And I wanna take care of her, do you? I mean can you?" His arms were folded this time as I simply looked at him no idea what the hell was going on. "Look I know this is tough I – I can't tell you what to do… but if you wanted to you could talk to her you know convince her to come home, otherwise you better be ready to fight for her cause I'm not just gonna walk away okay, I cant." He told me, lacking all sense of irony as he got into his truck at the end of the drive way and drove away.

"This is why I don't have friends over." I sighed, walking back into the house and closing the door behind me. "Theresa!" I yelled as I went to find her where I left her. "The less cliff notey vision."

"The less cliff notey version?" she frowned back at me.

"Eddie seems to think I am now the third person in your relationship. I get to make up phrases. Eddie proposed?"

"He asked I didn't say yes."

"So you just took off? You think that'll fix everything?"

"How many times have you run away from home? Talked about starting over, away from your mom, in a new town?" Her hands were on her hips telling me I shouldn't push her.

"Your gonna have to face him sooner or later, his teen drama 'This isn't over' speech made that perfectly clear to me. And since when did you start dating men again?" She looked across the table at me. "I'm not pushing you." I sighed.

"I should go." She said after what seemed like an eternity of silence between us.

She walked round the table so that she was besides me. "I'm sorry." I told her quietly as she passed me. "I never meant to fall in love."

"Give a monkey a thousand girls-"

"Worst analogy ever." I told her as our eyes locked properly for the first time since she'd got here.

* * *

"You can't ever…" I looked up from Great Expectations and found Marissa in my doorway, caught between my room and the garden, "put them back the way they were… You know, it takes time. You can't just have coffee and expect-"

"You alright?" I frowned at her as I folded down the page of my book.

"There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides… You have to learn if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives."

"Marissa?"

"It's a long… important process, and… can we just skip it? Can – can you just be kissing me now?"

As I got up and walked the small space to meet her, to feel her lips on mine, to get everything back, my mind was swamped with just one thought. Theresa.

* * *

**BIG GIANT DISCLAIMER: **Yes (rolls eyes) I know I didn't write the ending, but its the perfect getting back together scene (with the possible exception of 'You're a wanker number nine!') and consequently nothing I could have writen would have compared. It belongs to Mutant Enemy et al.

**A/N:** Also I'm sorry its short and sweet, still battling the block. The next couple will probably be about this length too.


	21. The Goodbye Girl

Thank you all for your reviews and support, I really apriciate them all. I'm just sorry that I'm taking so long to get chapters to you. Circus.

* * *

**The Goodbye Girl**

I walked into the kitchen and as per usual, found Seth alone reading a comic before school. I sat down besides him and stole a sip from his coffee.

"So Theresa called last night-"

"This before or after Marissa snuck out of the pool house?" He asked me, taking back his cup of coffee without looking up from his comic.

"We have three minutes before Sandy walks in and pours a cup of coffee and then another ninety seconds before Kirsten goes straight to the fridge. Can I tell this story uninterrupted so everyone doesn't get confused?"

"That would work better than the normal flow of things." He nodded. "So Theresa called…" he waved his hand for me to continue.

"She apologised about Eddie turning up on the doorstep and her telling me that she only came to Newport for me-"

"She still loves you?" Seth suddenly spun round on his seat so that we were facing each other.

"No she never said that." I frowned back at him. "And what happened to me being able to talk to you uninterrupted?"

"Alex its me." He said simply. "You knew from the start that was never going to happen."

"What was never going to happen?" Sandy asked us as he went to the coffee pot.

"And so it all begins." I sighed, banging my head on the counter top.

"What's beginning?" Kirsten asked me as she walked into the room.

"You know what?" I told them all, jumping down from my stool quickly causing them all to look at me somewhat startled. "I give up." I headed out to the pool house before popping my head back into the kitchen. "Me and Marissa are back together again, by the way."

* * *

"Hey you." Marissa smiled at me as she walked into my room as I packed my bag for school.

"If I tell you something will you promise not to interrupt or allow any interruptions?" Marissa simply nodded as she sat down on my bed besides me. "I think Theresa is seeing someone here. She didn't say it in so many words but as she was talking to me last night it became very clear that she was staying around for a reason."

"Does it matter?"

"Well there's a very angry guy that thinks its me and will consequently kick my arse if there is someone… It turns out that she may be engaged to one of my brother's friends." I explained to her blank expression.

"She _may_ be engaged?" She simply frowned back at me.

"She's trying to decide."

"Well that clears everything up." She nodded. "Where do you factor into this again?"

"Eddie, my brother's friend, pretty much called me out to duel over her last night; figuring that Theresa only came out here for me."

"Did she?"

"No, she came where the work was." I lied, quickly and easily, knowing that the question would eventually be asked.

"Just tell him that." Marissa shrugged, taking my hand and pulling me up. "Right now though, we have school."

* * *

We were all sat in the quad having lunch together. Seth and Anna with matching tuna melts, discussing the merits of _28 Days Later _over _28 Weeks Later_ whilst Summer merely rolled her eyes between them. As Marissa struggled with her French homework, batting my hand away from it every time I tried to help her.

"Luke, thank god you're here." I sighed when Luke dropped his tray in between Marissa and Anna.

"Never thought I'd here you say that." He smiled.

"Well Marissa keeps hitting me and our odd threesome over there are, well… no, I think odd threesome covered it."

"I've swapped one for the other." Summer complained at me.

"And then back again." Marissa laughed at her, closing her French textbook. "Anyone want any coffee, I'm thinking caffeine may help me make sense of this."

"Americano." I smiled at her.

"Cappuccino." Seth and Anna asked her in unison.

"Ew!" Summer frowned at them both. "And I'm coming with." She told Marissa pushing her chair back.

"Do you two do that deliberately to creep her out?" I asked them once Summer and Marissa were out of earshot.

"It is a little weird." Anna nodded.

"What you should really be asking is whether she's dating the girl version of Cohen or whether she screwed the boy version of Anna." Luke told us, a mouth full of food spat across us.

"Boy has a point, although not voiced at the best of times." I nodded at them.

I simply watched as they both looked each other up and down, clearly trying to figure it out. Seth opened his mouth quickly before closing it, Anna doing the same.

"Meanwhile," I smiled at them before turning my attention to Luke, "the other pressing question is where the hell have you been recently?"

"Yeah every time we call you to hang out you're always busy." Anna nodded.

"May it be noted I am not one of these people," Seth smiled at him, "I still remember when you pee'd in my shoes."

"Oh yeah," Luke laughed, "that was great… or not, as the case may be." He corrected when he found he was being stared down by the three of us. "And I've just been busy." He shrugged popping the remainder of his sandwich in he mouth.

"Doing what?"

"Just you know…"

"Your coffee." Marissa smiled at me, placing a Styrofoam cup in front of me distracting Luke for searching for an excuse for why he'd been so absent. "And one friend."

"Now that I didn't order." I smiled at Theresa standing awkwardly with a newspaper as she looked around the quad, next to Summer. "What you doing here?"

"Uh, looking for a job," she held up the newspaper to show us, with various red circles, "You're school's looking for kitchen staff."

"Yeah but wouldn't that be weird?" Anna asked her, as she pulled over another chair for her. "I mean serving us all?"

"Hence the other red circles." She nodded back at her, as she sat down.

"Park ranger?" Seth questioned, having snatched away her newspaper to inspect the circles.

"I think she'd look good in the hat." Summer mused.

"So you're staying, huh?" Marissa asked her, as she opened up her French textbook again.

"I called Eddie this morning and I told him," Theresa nodded, "I'm not coming home any time soon."

"You did?" Seth asked her.

"He didn't take it well but, uh, now that I did it which I cant believe I did… I feel so much more free or something." She shrugged.

"That does not bode well for me." I whispered in Marissa's ear.

"Just tell him the truth."

"Yeah, but what if I'm right and there is someone here that she's staying for?"

"There is only one way to solve that mystery," she smiled at me before turning to Theresa. "You seeing anyone?"

"Who- who- who would she be seeing? I mean she only knows us here, and well, non of us are seeing her are we?" Seth answered quickly. "What?" he asked when he found all eyes upon him.

"Yes." Theresa answered for herself. "I met a guy when I was catering that party at the golf club. He's a caterer too."

"Or she could be dating a fellow caterer." Seth nodded.

"I'm so glad I'm not the only one you interrupt." I sighed at him. "What's his name?"

"Jacob."

"Jacob?" I frowned at her.

"What's wrong with Jacob?" She frowned back at me. "It's a perfectly good name."

"Fine." I conceded. "Can I meet him?"

"I don't think we're quite at the stage to meet ex's yet." She told me, "But when we are, you'll be the first ex I go to." She nodded at me.

"How about this." I pointed at her. "Tonight is Caleb's _Man of the Year_ party why don't you bring him along, there will be tonnes of other people – I mean we'll all be there, so he won't just be meeting me."

"Plus you can check out all the Newpsie's with chin implants." Summer nodded.

"You get chin implants?" Anna frowned at her, sipping from her coffee.

"Yeah, they're like the new nose. My dad keeps getting requests for them."

"I don't have anything to wear." Theresa rolled her eyes at me, clearly as perplexed by the conversation parallel to her as I was.

"Marissa will lend you something!" I pointed at her.

"What?" Marissa looked confused at the table as she looked up from her French homework, "I mean yeah, sure." She nodded, after she had clearly worked out what had just been said.

"Now you've got no excuse not to come." I smiled proudly at Theresa.

* * *

Theresa left us all shortly after that, Seth and Anna went back to discussing horror movies and their sequels (though Seth was less enthusiastic than he was before), Summer tried to talk to Luke about _The Valley_ and Marissa finally caved and let me help her with her French homework.

I had just got more caffeine supplies for Marissa when Eddie shoved me into the counter knocking one of the coffees out of my hand.

"That coffee cost me five dollars." I sighed at him pointing to the mess on the floor.

"You sleep with her?!" He asked me, shoving me again, causing the other coffee to join the first on the floor.

"Clearly money means nothing to you." I sighed, just to get shoved into the counter again. "No, I am not sleeping with her." I told him shoving him back, tired of being pushed.

"No? Then why would she call me an tell me she's not coming back? Why would she stay here, huh?"

"She came out here for the work." I told him, trying Marissa's tact.

"Why would she quit her job to come serve crap to a bunch of rich people?" He spat back at me.

"You know what," I shrugged, "I got nothing." I told him simply. "But I am not sleeping with her." I looked around the room and saw, what seemed like, the entire student body staring at us, I lowered my voice, "This isn't the right time," I told him as I touched his arm, trying to calm him.

"No!" he shrugged my hand away violently, "don't touch me man, after everything I did for you growing up the least you can do is be honest with me; are you sleeping with her?"

"No!" I shouted back at him.

"Excuse me," Mr Bendis said, walking over to us, "this lounge is for faculty and students only."

"Alright," he held up his hands as if in surrender, but before he left he whispered in my ear: "Believe me I'm not letting her go."

I wanted to tell him that the pain in my back, from where he'd pushed me repeatedly into the counter, was enough to make me believe him, but thought better of it. Instead I merely apologised the guy behind the counter about the mess on the floor and shelled out another ten dollars for coffee; tipping him heavily.

* * *

Seth and I were playing video games in the lounge, the caterers having kicked us out of the pool so they could set up the garden, it seemed that we were nothing without routine. As I slowly got bored of the game, I flicked through the magazine with Caleb's face on the cover as Seth gave me play by play besides me.

"What do you think this Jacob guys going to be like?" I asked him after a while, throwing the magazine to the side.

"Tall, kind of geeky but in a good way. Dreams of getting out of Newport, trapped here by society. Maybe even…" he trailed off when he realised I was looking at him funnily. "Or you know, whatever." He shrugged. "What do you care anyway?" he asked me going back to paying attention to the game in front of him. "I mean you're over her right?"

"Totally." I nodded, picking up my controller again. "Its just weird to think of T with a guy. I mean her list is longer than mine and there really aren't that many Y's in it."

"Her ex's are just X's?" he frowned at me, pausing the game for added effect.

"Maybe its her mom." I shrugged, hitting 'Start' on his control. "Sexuality was never spoken about but maybe she's putting her Catholic foot down."

"Or maybe it really was just a phase."

"That's far too… When is it ever just a phase? I mean, thinking of T with a guy is like…" I was lost for words. I had known Theresa all my life and though she'd always said she was bisexual no one ever saw her with anyone other than a girl. "Can you imagine me with a guy?"

"I don't know, what kind of guy? He hot?" Again I was looking at him strangely. "I swear that sounded less gay in my head." He rolled his eyes before answering 'No' to the question, however.

"I should call Jodie." I told him, dropping my controller and pushing myself up from the floor.

"Jodie? That dyke-" he stopped dead having realised what he'd just said. I closed my eyes and counted to ten. when I opened them again he was looking at me pleadingly.

"I'm calling Jodie." I told him, walking out to my room. When I reached the French doors he called out to me, not to apologise but to remind me I was caring more than I should do for a girl I was over.

* * *

I swivelled my dress round as I looked myself up and down in the mirror. Kirsten had insisted I wore a new dress to Caleb's party, even if it was just in our back yard. My protests were silenced when Sandy told me he was being forced to wear a tie and furthermore suck up to his father-in-law, muttering something about if he was _Man Of The Year_ he would have more than simply a back yard barbecue.

I looked the dress up and down, Kirsten had described it as Sarah Jessica Parker in _Failure To Launch _rather than _Sex And The City_. Yet looking at me in said dress, I felt more like Lilly Allen only less 'indie-cool'.

"Well look at you." Marissa smiled at me, looking me up and down. "And pumps too." She pointed at my feet. "Just as well, if you'd worn Chucks with that dress you'd look like a Lilly Allen wannabe."

"In some cultures, 'Hello' is still seen as the acceptable greeting." I told her before looking at my reflection once more. "You know Jodie laughed when I told her that Theresa was dating a guy." I watched as Marissa rolled her eyes before dropping down into one of my chairs. "What was that?" I asked her.

"What was that?"

"That was a look, and you know it was a look which is why you're not admitting to it."

"You hate Jodie." She told me, another roll of her eyes thrown in for good measure. "Its not a big deal, so she's dating a caterer. Its nice that she's meeting people, especially as she's staying here."

"It is a big deal though. Imagine me with a guy." I pointed at her.

"You ever been with a guy?"

"Wow, that just totally blew up in my face. So what have you done with Theresa?" I asked her, taking her hand, pulling her out of my chair and out of my room.

"I left her with Seth." She said simply, closing the door behind us as we were suddenly surrounded by people. "Jacob isn't here though."

"He not coming?" I asked her, allowing her to lead me through the crowd to the others, she merely shrugged before stopping in front of Seth and Theresa by the island in the kitchen, they stopped talking as soon as we fell within earshot. "He's not coming?"

"Thought it would be weird, mingling with people that think his name's 'Oi, you!'" she told me quickly. "And I see his point, especially as I have a compelling urge to hand out glasses of champagne." She admitted quietly, watching the caterers work around us.

"Just tell people you're an aspiring actress." Seth smiled at her.

"The L.A. smog hasn't quite reached Newport yet." She smiled back at him. "Close though. Enveloped Chino the other week. Why I moved."

"I miss the smog." Anna told her, as she and Summer found us. "Newport has no seasons. I miss the city, it had seasons, Chinese food at 3am, I miss the smog."

"Her aunt called just before the party." Summer explained. "Something about a dog. Did you know people still have dogs?"

"I had a dog at one point." Marissa nodded, "I think the IRS took it though, I haven't seen him since the middle of the summer. I need to talk to my dad." We all watched as Marissa walked back into the garden to find Jimmy, only when she'd disappeared did Seth say:

"Ten bucks says he tells her he gave the dog to a farm."

"Fifteen says he tells the truth." I raised him.

"This is how you pass the time?" Theresa pointed between us.

"Well I tried burning down houses, but that got a little boring after a while."

"Speaking of," Seth smiled, "you want to meet the _Man Of The Year_?" holding out his arm for Theresa to take.

"You never did that for me." Summer pouted, pointing at his bent elbow.

"Nor me." Anna nodded. "He told me chivalry was dead."

"And you see where that got me?" He kind of half smiled at them, "Shall we?" he asked, turning back to Theresa.

I opened my mouth to mention that Theresa was probably not the best person to try out his chivalry upon, especially if he was hoping to find a girl that didn't like girls, but I caught Marissa's eye, as she stood in the doorway, and watched as she simply gave me a knowing smile before shaking her head at me. So I simply extended my arm for her to take and walked out onto the patio behind Seth and Theresa.

"You know he called Jodie a 'dyke' earlier." I whispered in her ear, cutting into her knowing smile.

"Can you blame him?" she whispered back, "The only two girls he's kissed prefer kissing each other. And then there's us."

"What you mean by that?" I frowned at her.

"We're like his best friends and all we do consume him in our L Word drama!" I looked at her, her knowing smile returned to her face and simply conceded to her greater wisdom and let the party consume me.

"Not your typical back yard barbecue." Theresa breathed out looking at all the people.

"They never are." Marissa nodded, looking round the garden, clearly already bored or simply just thinking about her dead dog.

"Hey," Anna cut across us, pointing to the drinks table, "Luke's here-"

"And talking to your mom." Summer frowned, following Anna's eye line.

"Yeah, according to Caitlin he's forever round the house doing something to Mom's modem." She shrugged. "I tune out every time I hear the word computer, plus my sister's crush on Luke weirds me out slightly."

"Understandable." I nodded.

"It would be like if I had a crush on the step monster."

"A little less weird than that, Sweetie." Anna smiled at Summer.

"Its stuff like that, isn't it?" I pointed between them, whilst smiling at Marissa just to watch her knowing smile cross her face once more. "I really hate you sometimes."

"I can live with that." She nodded back at me, but she wasn't looking at me for long. "That Jacob?" she asked, pointing over my shoulder. "Sum, you ever seen that caterer before?"

"No, and well I've been to a lot of these things." She said looking around the party. "That's totally a chin implant there." Summer pointed across the crowd.

"Can we focus on the potential that could be Jacob?" I asked her, "Which one could he be?"

"Oh just tall, dark and goatee over there." Summer waved, whilst clearly still looking over the woman's plastic surgery.

"I'm sorry I'm going to need a minute to process the fact that my girlfriend just called a guy 'tall, dark and goatee'!" Anna laughed at me.

"He is though." Marissa mused with Sum, having got her attention back from somebody else's chin.

"Where is this guy?" I sighed.

"Him." Summer pointed past the woman with the botched chin to the possible Jacob. "Tall, dark, goatee and angry?"

We all watched as he pushed through the people. And I saw him; tall, dark and goatee but it wasn't Jacob it was Eddie.

"Where's Theresa?!" I asked Marissa.

"I don't know? Inside with Seth?" She shrugged.

"Make sure she stays there. Your Jacob is her Eddie." I told her, crossing the path of people to meet him head on. "Hey man." I had no idea what to say after that, so I was forced to go with the awkward wave.

"Where is she?" He asked me, not paying me much attention, simply scanning the crowd for Theresa.

"You know, I have no idea. You want check the driveway? Maybe even town?" I suggested, calmly I thought.

"You!" He spun round quickly though, apparently my nonchalant was actually me admitting to sleeping with Theresa. "Stay the hell away from me, okay? You're lucky I don't kick your arse right here!"

I looked my dress up and down once again that evening and realised that I really wasn't dressed for an arse kicking, as I watched him continue to search the Newpsies for his fiancée I was going to have to go for a different tact. I waved once more, but this time towards Sandy.

"Whats going on kid?" Sandy frowned at me, loosening his tie. "The man of the year is about to make his speech." His tone suggested that he was making special effort to de-emphasis Caleb's new title. "Hey," he smiled at Eddie, "can you get some more champagne round to everyone?"

"What the fuck? You want me to park your car too?" Amazingly, that one assumption from Sandy had distracted Eddie from Theresa. "You think cause I'm Hispanic I'm here to wait on you?"

"No I think since my wife is paying you; you're here to wait on me." Sandy frowned back, his hands suddenly on his hips no longer caring about the state of his tie.

"I'm not no bus boy."

"He's, uh, Eddie and actually a mechanic." I told Sandy adding the explanatory 'Theresa's ex' when all I got was a blank expression from him.

"That changes everything then." Sandy sighed, his hands back at his tie. "She want to see you?"

Eddie said yes, whilst I said no. Soon after Jimmy had also been waved over, a couple of glasses were smashed, Caleb started swearing loudly in our general direction. But Eddie left, not a punch thrown and only mild reference being made to the police being called.

"Did that just happen?" Jimmy asked as we watched Eddie down the drive to the sound of Caleb making his speech into the microphone.

"I know, I may need a drink to get over the shock." Sandy nodded.

"I didn't get hit." I found both of them looking at me. "I'm at a party and didn't get hit." I smiled at them.

"Well you're a Cohen now." Sandy laughed. "Come on, you need to tell your ex that her ex is still present."

* * *

The party was over, the caterers had more or less returned the garden to its normal state and yet Theresa was still passing up and down in my room. Summer and Anna had given up and gone home after the first holes were worn into my carpet. And so left Marissa and I sat on my bed, Seth in the corner and Theresa still pacing up and down.

Everything was discussed. Back and forth it went, as she went back and forth. Every sentence ended with the question: 'He was here?' and after about the fifth 'And I wasn't hit!' the three of us gave up trying to talk her out of her pacing and simply nodded and smiled as she walked up and down, back and forth.

She was gone when I woke up. As was Seth. When I rolled over to check the time, my hand fell on a small piece of paper. I sat up so and rubbed my eyes, moving the piece of paper back and forth as I tried to get my eyes to focus on the impossibly small writing that was Theresa's hand writing.

_Sorry, we both knew I was going to have to go back to my real life at some point.__I will drop Marissa's dress off at her dad's apartment on my way to the freeway.  
I'll see you next time you have to steel a car or an event needs catering._  
_T x  
P.S. Tell Marissa I'm sorry about her dead dog._

And so I rolled over, draping my arm across Marissa and pulled her closer to me as I realised that it was far too early in the morning for L Word drama. I just wanted to sleep next to my L Word romantic comedy and deal with drama after a cup of coffee.

* * *

Please read and review, you have no idea how much I love getting them. Thank you, Circus.


	22. The LA

Sorry its taken so long, hope you're all still reading. Circus

* * *

**The L.A.**

My cell phone number had been left as a contact number. The guy's broken English telling me that something had been left in Theresa's room, a watch, he'd said. I'd reeled off Theresa's address to him before he'd explained that it was a man's watch. I left it to him as a tip before hanging up and trying to go back to sleep.

Three weeks. Theresa had been in Newport for just three weeks. Having both fixed my relationship and put it all into doubt she left. Like always, she left. It was crazy, Theresa and I were awful together. I cheated on her, she cheated on me; Jodie loving every minute of it. And yet I missed her as if she was a first love. And yet when I left Chino she didn't cross my mind.

As the my bedroom door opened I quickly stuffed the photo of Jodie, Theresa and I into the centre of my book, hoping who ever it was wouldn't notice that it was absent from my map of California. When I looked up and found it was Seth in my doorway I knew my secret was safe.

"I have to tell you something and I don't know how to do it." He said quietly, avoiding catching my eyesight.

"If its that you're Jacob, I'm really not in the mood." I told him, pretending to read my book.

"I'm not. I mean that would be crazy. I'm not. I mean I like her, but I don't like her, like her. I mean what would you do if I was?"

"Relax man, it was a joke." I frowned at him. "You're not her type. She prefers them tall, dark and goatee."

"She likes tall, dark goats?"

"Goatee – the facial hair." I shook my head. "What do you want to talk to me about?" I asked him, tired of the talk of Theresa.

"I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to come out with this." He said, hand to his head, pacing up and down in front of my open door.

"Stop." I told him quickly, thoughts returned to Theresa.

"Luke's sleeping with Julie Cooper."

"L Word drama." I nodded. "Must be Sunday."

* * *

"Maybe," Seth pointed to me as we walked down the corridor to our prospective homerooms, "they're not having sex; maybe they just go to a motel to spoon and watch Charlie Rose."

"Don't care." I said simply, "Its got to end before Marissa finds out. Because her and the bad news do not work well together. I either get dumped or she goes to hospital."

"Always fun times." He nodded, before pointing down the hall to Summer, Anna and Marissa heading towards us. "Got a plan?"

"Act like normal." I said simply, before hitting him on the chest gently with the back of my hand indicating for him to follow me down the hall towards the girls. "Hey you." I kissed Marissa on the cheek as I took a cup of coffee from Anna.

"Oh my god you guys we have the craziest news ever, I mean nothing you could tell us could top this." My eyes instantly met Seth's as Summer squealed excitedly besides us. "We met Grady Bridges!"

"Star of _The Valley_, which is apparently the best show ever." Anna explained, unenthusiastically when Seth and I turned to her for help.

"And he invited us to his birthday party tomorrow night." Summer squealed once more.

"The start of a hit TV show invited you to his cool Hollywood birthday party?" Seth frowned at her.

"There's no need for jealousy, Cohen."

"Oh that wasn't jealousy." He told her quickly.

"I got us a couple an plus ones, so we can all go." Summer smiled at us all, her excitement only increasing with each breath.

"It's a Tuesday night, Sandy will never let us go." I shrugged at her.

"It is a sad, sad day." Seth nodded, trying to look despondent.

"But you guys have to come, its been ages since we've done anything like this."

"There's a reason for that," Marissa smiled at her gently, "whenever we do something always goes wrong. Tijuana, Rooney…" she trailed off before looking to me for more examples.

"Parties." I pointed at her. "They never go well, I normally get hit."

"Or lovers get exposed." Seth added, pointing at Summer and Anna.

"Or my dad does." Marissa nodded at me.

"All fine examples. But come on," Summer pleaded at us all, "this is Grady Bridges birthday party." One by one we all agreed, none of us enthusiastically though. "Now I have to go show everybody the pictures of me and Grady. Thank God I had my camera phone; they are the autograph of the twenty-first century." She smiled at us once more before walking off to the group of cheerleaders at the end of the hallway.

"She even know those girls?" Anna frowned at them.

"Who knows." Seth shrugged, "But we have to work on our article for The Plank."

"Oh yeah, I actually had some ideas about that." She nodded, taking his arm and leading him towards the library.

"They know that homeroom's in like five minutes right?" I asked Marissa as the other two headed into the library.

"So how's Theresa?" Marissa asked me just as I'd sipped from my coffee cup, causing me to swallow it instantly.

"Uh she's…good she's back with Eddie." I tried to tell her as I attempted to mask my choking on the hot liquid.

"Have you talked to her since she left?"

"Yeah we have but its, uh, awkward." I shrugged at her. "I mean its weird. This is my ex who's now with someone I never thought she'd get with-"

"Maybe it really was just a phase." Marissa shrugged at me as the bell went. "You better go." She smiled at me, kissing me on the cheek before pushing me and my coffee cup in the direction of homeroom.

* * *

Sometime after homeroom, but before the end of the day Seth and I spotted Luke playing pool by himself in the common room. After brief and hushed fight over who should confront him, Seth pushed me towards Luke and his solitary game of pool.

"Hey!" He frowned up at me, from where he was lining up his shot to watching me throw the cue ball back and forth.

"I don't care what you and Julie Cooper are doing together but, for the love of my relationship, its got to stop." I told him, walking round the table. "Eight ball, corner pocket." I told him as I picked up the black from the table and dropped it into the pocket. "Its got to end."

"I know – I know – I know what it – what that must of looked like or seemed like but it's not like that," I simply looked at him, an eyebrow raised as I juggled a couple of his balls. "We've got a connection."

"And did I not tell you that I don't care?" I sighed as I threw him back his balls, which he struggled to catch. "Tomorrow night we're all going to L.A. You are going to Julie's and ending it." I told him as I walked round the table so I besides him. "Or I'll be juggling a very different set of your balls." I whispered in his ear before walking away.

* * *

"What are you watching?" I asked Seth as I dropped myself onto the couch besides him.

"Watching _The Valley_, I picked up the first season on DVD."

"Yeah so I talked to Luke-"

"Would you just give me till like the end of the episode please?"

"Are you serious?" I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing at him. "You're not actually into this are you?"

"Well what else have I got?" He asked me pausing the DVD, "I mean lets look at this objectively shall we?"

"Hey kids." Sandy smiled at us as he walked into the kitchen. I jumped up and found him holding a bag of groceries. "There's more in the car if you want to give Kirsten a hand."

"With pleasure." I smiled back at him. "You just saved me from objectively looking at Seth's life."

"MTV2?"

"_The Valley_." Sandy simply looked back at me. "Its good times." I nodded before going out to help Kirsten bring in the rest of the shopping.

"Is says something about my parenting when of my children, it's the child I didn't raise that helps out around the house." Kirsten smiled at me as she passed me a bag.

"I don't suppose you want to reward such behaviour by letting Seth and I go to L.A. with the others, would you?"

She looked me up and down before answering, "Run it past Sandy." was the conclusion she reached as we walked into the kitchen.

"Run what by me?" Sandy frowned at her as I started to unload the shopping.

"The kids want to go to L.A."

"Hell no." He said simply as I passed him sodas for the fridge.

"Why?" I frowned back at him, keeping hold of the drinks.

"I don't have to tell you why, I'm just telling you no." Sandy said, with one of those annoying 'parent smiles' as he took the drinks firmly and placed them in the fridge.

"But, but, but I told the truth." I pouted at him, before spinning round and trying it out on Kirsten. "I could have lied like Seth and said that we were going to a Comic-Con or an IMAX movie."

"It is quite worrying that you are our better child." Kirsten nodded. "Why you want to go?"

"Summer and Marissa got invited to this guys-"

"Grady Bridges." Seth called out from the next room.

"Birthday party." I finished, with a customary glance into the living room where Seth was still watching _The Valley_.

"Oh the guy from _The Valley_?" Kirsten smiled.

"Apparently." I shrugged going back to passing Sandy things to put in the fridge.

"I love him, he's so cute."

"Really?" I frowned at her. "I mean he's all geeky and sarcastic. I don't know how he ever gets laid."

"Thanks man." Seth called out again.

"Can you get me an autograph? Oh, your cell phone takes pictures right?" Kirsten asked me ignoring Seth.

"Is that a yes?" I smiled at her, she nodded before looking to Sandy.

"You call when you get there," he told me, one hand pointed at me the other in the fridge still holding onto the yoghurts I'd just passed him, "and you're home by 11:30. And don't spend an extra minute in L.A., that town will steal your soul."

* * *

"Why would they let that heavy-set girl in?" I asked Marissa after we'd got into the club.

"That was a guy." She laughed at me.

"Seth would have thought it was a girl." I grumbled as we walked further inside, my hands deep in my pocket.

"I can't believe he's missing all this." Summer said, looking around the club – clearly taking in all the stripers, drunks and drugs.

"'Cause Seth would clearly have loved this." Anna deadpanned besides her.

"Naked ladies." Summer shrugged.

"Yeah," I nodded, "plus he would have driven too."

"It was not that bad." Marissa said, rubbing my arm.

"Russia has invaded nations in the time we were in that car, and most of that we weren't even moving."

"Well we're here now, you can stop complaining." She smiled at me.

"Hey girls," Grady leered as us all as he pushed his way through the people towards us, "hey what's up? I'm glad you made it."

"Eventually." I mumbled across the others all saying 'Hi' and 'Happy birthday' to him.

"C'mon I wanna introduce you to some people." He told Summer, instantly taking her hand and dragging her over to his table, leaving Anna powerless but to follow.

"How does that guy play high school?"

"Hollywood." Marissa said simply, by way of an answer. "You ever wanted to be an actress?"

"I am the product of two alcoholic parents and the lack of a condom. Brother and father behind bars, my mother abandoning me to drink and smoke more than she can afford and sleep with men of questionable character. My family is a trailer park away from white-trash and yet I live in Orange County, surrounded by the rich and beautiful. Everyday I act for my life is not my own."

She stared open mouthed at me for a moment before eventually hinting that getting drinks might be the way to go in this situation.

"Is that Paris Hilton?" I frowned pointing across the people amassed around the small bar.

"I'm impressed you even know who Paris Hilton is." Marissa smiled at me, as I folded my arms waiting for a space so I could squeeze in and order.

"Hey there," I turned as someone patted my shoulder, "having fun yet?"

I opened my mouth but was quickly forced to close it again. My arms were suddenly loose, with hands searching for activity. One to the back of my neck, hairs suddenly on edge, the other to my temple. Both moving quickly to distract from the fact that Marissa, the stripper and I were all locked in silence.

"Hailey." I managed to croak out eventually. "How you been?"

"Alex," she said, barely audibly as she looked around the packed bar, "what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Its not as the postcard described certainly."

She fumbled for a response but before she could say anything her arm had been grabbed and she was forced back up onto one of the empty podiums.

"Hailey keep moving," the guy spat at her, before turning to Marissa and I, "Couples pay extra."

Both of us watched as Hailey started to work the pole, watched keenly by a group of guys in suits beneath her.

"Who'd have thought that out of the two of us – it would be you that's dated a stripper." I mussed, unable to take my eyes from Hailey as she spun round. "Just as well Seth isn't here to witness this, he'd go ape shit." I shook my head and looked back to the bar, now with an opening to reach the staff behind it. "You want a drink?"

"What about Hailey?" Marissa said, turning from her looking at me, her mouth agape.

"I don't think I'm allowed to buy drinks for the staff, besides she's probably on drugs."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Well what do you expect?" I shrugged. "She's a grown woman, she knows what she's doing."

"You think Kirsten's going to see it that way?"

"Fine," I told her with a roll of my eyes as I pulled out my cell from my pocket and dragged Marissa to a quieter area of the bar, "All I wanted was a nice quiet couple of days and all I get is drama."

"Drama?" Marissa frowned at me. "Why what else is going on?"

"Shh," I said quickly, "I'm on the phone." I held down the 'One' key to get Seth on the other end of the line as I prayed he would be able to cover my back.

"_Hello?_" He shouted at me through the phone.

"Seth, where the hell are you?" I shouted back at him. "Sounds like you're at a rager."

"_Oh no, not really. At a bar._"

"At a bar? Who with? Where?"

"_Instead of answering those questions how bout you tell me why you're calling._" He sighed, as the noise and music his end quietened, clearly he'd gone outside.

"Well," I said turning back to find Hailey now giving a Japanese business man a lap dance – to really push the cliché. "It turns out that your aunt Hailey has found herself a job."

"_Yeah I know, mum read out the post card this morning. She's in the Caribbean or something._"

"I swear to god, I just heard you shrug." Marissa at that point hit me to keep me on track. "Hailey's here and half naked, now make that topless." I told him as Marissa covered my eyes.

"_My aunts a stripper?_" He spat at me through the phone, whilst I removed Marissa's hand from my face.

"Yeah can you go home and tell Sandy. I don't know what to do."

"_Can't you just call him, man?_"

"Isn't it easier for you just to go over there? Seth?" The line had gone quiet. "Seth?!" I repeated down the line. "Nothing." I pulled my cell away from my ear and looked down at the screen, it simply told me the call time.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know. But the line just cut out. I think he was at a party." I told Marissa, still frowning at my phone, as if expecting it to explain Seth's odd behaviour.

"Who's party? The only people Seth knows are here."

"Hence my confusion." I sighed, dropping my cell into my back pocket. "So, that drink?"

"That's it?" Marissa looked at me doubtfully. "No master rescue plan, no drive across the county, no bid at a fist fight?"

I rolled my eyes at her before grabbing her hand and dragging her across the dingy strip joint. I found Hailey, now with her top on and alone standing by one of the plinths.

"Do you like being a stripper?" I asked her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She questioned, looking me up and down. "I make good money doing what I do and I'm on my own."

"Do you want to be rescued?"

"From you?" She practically laughed back at me.

"What about Kirsten?" Marissa tried.

"Don't tell her, not that she'd care."

"Right from the strippers mouth." I sighed. "Now can we get a drink?"

"You are not meant to drink-"

"Why not?" Hailey cut across Marissa. "Free country."

"She drinks to get drunk."

"Is there any other reason?"

"Thank you." I pointed towards Hailey. "Thank you. Do you want a drink?"

"Get up there," one of the managers told her, trying to force her up onto the podium. "What're you tired today, you didn't do enough coke?"

"Do you have to be so rough with her?" Marissa tried to protest.

"She likes it rough." The man simply spat back at her, as my brain was filled with a thousand images I wasn't sure would ever leave me. "Just get back to work."

"Don't tell her what to do." I sighed at the man, reluctantly joining in the crusade to save the stripper.

"Excuse me? You got a problem?" He asked me, squaring himself up over me, indicating that it wasn't going to be much of a fight.

"No," I swallowed, adamant that I didn't have a chance in hell of taking him. "I don't have a problem. I'm sorry, we're just gonna grab my aunt, of sorts, uh-uh more gently than say you and we're leaving."

"Oh you're leaving right now. Get outta my club." Marissa found ourselves being almost carried out of the back of the club by two of the bouncers. "Get 'em outta my club, out out out." He encouraged as we were literally thrown into the back alley. "I don't wanna see these guys in my club again!" And then the door slammed and we were officially cast out.

"And that is why we don't save strippers." I told her sitting down on the curb.

"You didn't even put up a fight against him." She complained, pacing around me.

"That's because it wouldn't have been a fight, it would have been me bleeding internally. And I haven't done that in a while and I'd rather not spoil that. Hey," I looked up to find her not listening to me and rather trying to get reception on her phone, "who are you calling?"

"My dad, Sandy, Kirsten…" she shrugged, waving her cell in the air.

I rearranged myself so that I could pull my cell out of my pocket, I threw it at her and watched as she stumbled to catch it. "Just don't call Kirsten." I sighed, watching her scroll through my phonebook.

"Hey Dad," she said after a while of listening to the familiar sounds of downtown L.A. as I simply stared down at my shoes, until Marissa pulled me up from the sidewalk. "Sandy snatched the phone away from Dad and demands your imminent return home."

"Wicked, text Anna and tell her we'll meet them at the car."

"One last try."

"No! I am done. I am done trying not to get my arse kicked saving your ex girlfriend."

"But its fine to get your arse kicked saving yours?" She frowned at me.

"Eddie never hit me, just shoved a couple of times." Her hands were on her hips though, indicating that her mind was clearly made up.

"How will we even get back into the club?"

"Met me at the VIP entrance in around five minutes."

"Fine." I agreed as I pulled out a rather crumpled pack of cigarettes from my back pocket.

"Where did you get those?"

"I may have asked Rosa to pick me up a pack the other day." I told her, trying to act apathetic about it whilst I lit one of the broken sticks.

"Five minutes." She sighed, leaving me to smoke in peace.

I gave her the time it took me to smoke two cigarettes, during which I text Seth trying to find out where he was (to which I expected no reply). I threw the battered and now empty cartoon to the ground as I walked round the block to a smaller entrance to the club where I found Marissa to be amongst the screaming girls all trying to get the attention of the angry, black guy with a clipboard.

"Oh my god, oh my god! Olivia Wilde!" Marissa ran round the barrier and grabbed my arm as she came to rest besides me in front of the bouncer. "I love you so much. You are my favourite character." She told me before turning to him. "Okay, do you watch Skins?"

"I have a job."

"It's only like the best show ever!" She retorted simply before turning back to me. "So whats DJ like to work with?"

"I like his music…" I shrugged, unsure of what my response was meant to be.

"You here for the party?" The bouncer asked me, ignoring Marissa still clinging onto my arm as if for her life.

"Yeah."

"Oh my god! Wait, can I come with you?" I looked at the bouncer before back at Marissa. "Seriously it would mean so much to me."

"You know there's a dyke bar, just round the corner that's very discreet." He told me.

"Yeah, but the party's here, right?" I smiled at him as he unclipped the rope to let us in. Once we were under the cover of the noise that the club provided, Marissa finally let go of my arm and I asked her: "Olivia Wilde's married isn't she?"

"Yeah, but I doubt he knows that."

"Next, Skins? Why not House?"

"Because no way in hell do you look old enough to play a doctor – who are you Doogie?" She laughed before pulling me further into the club. "I can't see her out here, we should check in the back rooms."

"How do you suppose we get into the back rooms unnoticed?"

"I got us back into the club didn't I?" She smiled at me, pulling me through the people as I silently cursed Hailey for not being in the Caribbean.

Predictably after walking into the second or third room, ironically called 'changing room' we found Hailey dressed, without makeup and looking considerably older than when she'd been in Newport.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed at as, pulling us into a corner – clearly trying to hide us.

"I've been ordered home and Marissa won't leave without you too." I sighed, hands in my pockets, head pushed back to centre whenever Marissa caught me looking around.

"You know what, you're really sweet with this whole 'Save the Stripper' campaign but I'm fine."

"Great." I smiled at her, before turning to Marissa. "Now can we go home?"

"Not without you," she told Hailey, "Look we came-"

"What're you doing back in my club?" The owner asked, pulling Hailey away from us.

"Of course we'd get caught." I sighed as I tried to pull my arm free of him. "Do you mind?"

"You too Hailey!" He said as he forced us down the corridor and out the fire excape and back onto the curb I'd been sitting on just twenty minutes earlier. "Goodbye Hailey."

"You know what," I sighed spinning round and trying to make myself as big as possible, "I am fed up with putting up with all this shit. I came here because my girlfriend's friend has a crush on an actor. I didn't want to 'Save the Stripper' I was quite happy to leave the stripper well alone given that she used to sleep with my girlfriend. I just wanted to have a quiet night and a couple of beers and as usual I get forced into 'saving the day' and consequently all I get is shoved around and man handled and right now, I'm sick of it."

"I don't think he'll mention how badly you phrased all that because of the amount of times you mentioned lesbianism in that." Hailey pretended to whisper in my ear as her former employer left the safety of his door way and joined us in the dark, dank little back street.

"Oh oh oh what're you gonna do, huh?" He practically laughed at me, bouncers either side of him. "What're you gonna do now big shot? What're you gonna do now, huh?"

"What're you gonna do?" I spun back around and found Jimmy marching up to stand besides me. "Hit a kid?"

"Dad!"

"What're you _dad_?" The club's owner continued laughing.

"What're you the guy who's my age and still thinks he's twenty-five?" Jimmy frowned back at him.

"You keep your kids outta my club." The man told him before waving his flunkies back inside.

"You alright?" Jimmy asked Marissa as once again I heard the heavy fire escape door slam.

"Yeah." She nodded, her arms around him.

"Sandy wanted to make sure you got back okay." He told me.

"Glad he did." I smiled at him.

"Why don't you guys head back, I'm gonna… give Hailey a lift."

"Okay yeah, we'll just go find Summer and Anna."

"Later Mr C."

* * *

"I can't believe they've gone home to watch _The Valley_ after all that." Marissa laughed, kicking off her pumps as we walked into my room.

"Its quite addictive you know." Seth told us, as he emerged from my en suit.

"I don't even want to know what you were doing in there." I waved him off, slumping myself down in my chair.

"I'm hiding from Dad because I stole Granddad's sports car."

"I said I didn't want to know." I smiled at him, too tired to put up more of a defence than that.

"Well clearly you got caught." Marissa laughed, sitting cross legged besides me.

"Yes," he pointed at her, "but he said he'd punish me once all that's going on in there is done with." He waved absently towards the house. "He can't punish me if he doesn't know where I am."

"The house isn't that big. He'll find you eventually."

"You know what," Marissa smiled at me as she used my knee to help her stand once more, "I'm going to let you two hash this out whilst I'm peeing."

"How come she gets to say 'pee'?" Seth questioned, sitting himself down on the bed opposite me as Marissa crossed the room.

"Because I have prettier hair." She informed him, sticking out her tongue to seal the argument, before shutting the door of the en suit behind her.

"Luke." Suddenly Seth was standing, as was I.

"Its over." He told us, running a hand through his messy hair.

"Okay-"

"I'm done having sex with Julie Cooper."

"Okay-"

"Marissa." His face paled as we all turned to see her standing in the doorway. The damage had been down and the three of us stumbled to find words to undo it. All of us searching for something to say and could come up with nothing greater than: "Marissa."

She ran past us all, barely stopping to pick up her shoes.

"I've got to go." She told us, pushing Luke out of the way and slamming my door behind her.

* * *

As usual, please read and review - I read, and love every single one - helps boost my ego!


	23. The Seder Meal

HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT ME! I ACTUALLY UPDATED! :D  
Usual rules apply for those that don't remember - this follows on with the actual story line of season one of The O.C only Alex is Ryan. All caught up? Good. Now go read, I'll write some more.  
Cirucs

* * *

**The Seder Meal**

He didn't even flinch when I moved to hit him, he'd been expecting it. Ever since he'd found out that I knew, he'd been waiting for me to hit him. He didn't move, he didn't fight back, he simply took the hit before stepping aside and letting me chase after her.

I ran round the house, ready to run round the entirety of the neighbourhood to look for her. Not ready to find her stood at the bottom of my drive, shoes still in her hand. With my hands in my pockets I simply stood besides her, looking down at the neighbourhood she'd grown up in and yet no longer felt comfortable calling home.

Nothing was said, I made no moves to take her back inside, no moves to hold or comfort her, no words were said between us. We simply stood and stared out at the neighbourhood. Suddenly she was running again, not down the road, not away from me or Luke, simply running. She disappeared behind a wall and I found her, on her knees staring in to the ugly face of her own vomit. She wiped her face the back of her arm before allowing me to help her up.

I turned her back towards my house, and got her to walk just two steps up my drive before she stopped me.

"No." She said simply. "Not whilst he's still there."

"You want me to take you home?"

"Why so I can look into the face of my father? So I can tell him that my mother is sleeping with my ex boyfriend? So I can pretend that I have a normal life?" I let go of her, dropped my hands back in my pockets and simply waited for her to make the next move. "You have no answers, for once."

"I've been through many things, but this is new territory."

And then I was watching her run again. I didn't want to chase after her. Didn't want to confine her. Didn't want her to feel anymore claustrophobic then she already was. I turned back up the drive and headed into the pool house.

"Get out." I growled at Luke. "Come near Marissa again I and I will kill you." Seth and I watched him slink out of my room without protest, Seth closing the door behind him and making sure he was out of ear shot before he asked:

"Where's Marissa?"

"I don't know."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"What do you want to do?"

"Go on holiday?"

"Aunt Hailey is no doubt currently in the house raving to mum about the Caribbean. Maybe she could recommend you and Marissa a hotel." Seth shrugged, throwing in a half hearted smile.

"I don't know where she is, I don't know where's she going, I don't know how long she's going to be gone. I just know she's running." I sat down on my bed, defeated, barely had I sat down before I allowed myself to lay down. Seth laid besides me. "You know what?" I asked him, turning my head so I staring into his eyes. "Life would have been so much simpler if we'd hooked up at the beginning. Then I wouldn't have to deal with Marissa all the goddamn time." He stayed silent, just waiting for me to take it back. Waiting for me to tell him that I loved dealing with her, that I loved her. But I couldn't not right now. She was all too much. "Get out. Go to bed. Face your dad and your punishment. We'll deal with Marissa tomorrow."

"Want me to stay here tonight?"

"Yes." I said, quietly rearranging myself so that I was laying in bed properly. "Tell anyone though and I'll deny it."

He got up, dropped the drapes, turned off the lights and slipped into bed besides me. I heard him whisper goodnight before he too started to feign sleep. Both of us knew that tomorrow would be equally scary in the harsh light of day.

* * *

Where is she? The words were so close yet so far away. Where is she? They were running through my head on a loop. I could see them, I could feel them. I don't know. I told them but they wouldn't cease. Simply asked again and again and again and agai-

"Alex." A hand on my shoulder woke me up from a dream I didn't know I was having. And then suddenly Where Is She was back again. "I don't know Seth." I sighed, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

"What do you mean you don't know?" I snapped my eyes back open and found Julie standing over me and Seth nervously babbling besides me. "Doesn't he have a mute button?" she snapped.

"I wish." I managed to yawn out before getting out of bed. "I'm going to look for her now, she ran didn't want to be with me, or anyone last night – there was no pointing in fighting her, she was in no fit state."

"So you two had yet another fight and you just let her run away? This is precisely why I didn't want her going to L.A last night, but Jimmy insisted. Called to say he'd dropped her off at yours and now where is she?" her arms were folded, she left me no room to explain, to fill her in, to wake up even. She just kept talking.

"Can you please just get out of my room, out of my house and I'll go find her. Bring her back."

"Damn righ-"

"She's gone because she found out about you screwing her ex-boyfriend, by the way," I was in no mood to put up with Julie, in no mood to feign politeness, in no mood to pretend, "so you can quit blaming me and stop considering telling the cops I've kidnapped her or whatever it is you think about when you're quiet for long enough to form thoughts."

"Get. Her. Back." She said through gritted teeth before leaving my room, the door shaking in its frame as she went.

"So what's the plan Batman?" Seth asked, joining me standing.

"God knows." I sighed making my way towards the house. "How do you even go about looking for someone that doesn't want to be found?"

"How about starting at our overflowing breakfast table?" Seth shrugged pointing towards the piles of food and an exhausted Marissa sitting, as if she was hiding, behind them.

"Hey." She smiled meekly. "Seth was in your bed so I slept-"

"In the spare with me." Hailey smiled. "Bagel? Eggs? Waffles? Three different kinds of pancakes-" She cut herself off as she cottoned on to what I was thinking about, "Nothing happened, she needed a bed. I was a good little stripper. So pancake?"

Seth was sat next to Marissa buttering a bagel like all his dreams had come true. Marissa looked as though she was still struggling to keep anything down. I sunk down into a chair the other side of her speechless.

"Come on, someone other than Seth has to want to eat? This is my 'Thank you for rescuing me' meal with some 'Please don't tell Kirsten' coffee and various flavoured juices."

"I'll take some coffee." I frowned at her. Not a clue as to what was going on.

* * *

Marissa, having showered and changed into some of my clothes, led me silently to the beach where we sat for a painfully long time before either one of us spoke. Several times one of us would try but inevitably we'd trail off and land back into the silence that held us captive.

"Want to go surfing?" I smiled at her.

"Only if we get to go to the mall afterwards." She smiled back.

"We'll have to call Summer in that case, I can't cope with you alone in a mall."

"Oh no." She wagged a finger, jokingly in front of my face, "That will mean Anna will come and we'll loose you both in Barns & Nobel."

"Nothing wrong with Barns & Nobel, they've even got a Starbucks."

"So you want to spend the day with books and coffee?"

"Well if you insist." I laughed. But it was an empty laugh and that too eventually trailed off leaving us in silence and staring at the beach.

"I don't know how to deal with this." Marissa sighed, leaning into me moving my arm so it was around her, interlocking a hand with mine. "I tried running away, but I didn't know where to go. I came here and stayed until I got cold. I tried being mad, I tried being hurt and betrayed. I tried so hard to care. But I can't. Its just another thing my mother's done." I opened my mouth, but found I had nothing to say so closed it again. "I think Dad's sleeping with Hailey." She said so quietly it was barely audible. "She said something to me last night when we were in bed together-"

I bit my lip. I bit my tongue. I tried so hard to hold it but I couldn't. I laughed, loudly and heartily. One of those belly laughs, a laugh you'd expect to hear from Santa rather than a sixteen year old girl. I laughed properly and fully. I laughed until tears ran from my eyes. I laughed until Marissa joined in too.

"I promise you," I turned to her, "if we break up," I swallowed yet more laughter, "I will not sleep with anyone even marginally related to you. Not even Caitlin." I crossed my heart with my free hand and made all the mimes thereon.

"Come on." Marissa pulled me to my feet. "I'm not going surfing. Tried it. Hated it. You are, however, going to take me to the mall. We'll text the others to meet us there." She smiled at me, pulling me into such a tight embrace she could have been mistaken for Lenny from _Of Mice & Men_. "Thank you," she whispered in my ear, "I needed that."

* * *

Summer and Anna, who always hated being the only ones to go to school were more than happy to join Marissa and I. Especially as they were both painfully hungover from the party. The four of us spent as long in the mall as either Anna and I could stand. We dragged Marissa and Summer away from the shops and insisted we go home. Summer and Anna drove off in one direction as I drove Marissa back to mine. She dumped the couple of shopping bags in my room before we meandered into the main house.

"Hello." An old woman smiled at me. "Which one of you is Alex?"

"That would be me." I frowned back at her. "Why are you cooking?"

"Its Passover." She continued to smile at me. "You didn't think I'd let Kirsten cook did you?"

"I heard that." Kirsten sighed, walking into the kitchen. "I see you've met Alex. Alex do you know where Seth is? He hasn't come back from school yet. He'll want to see The Nana."

"Oh." My frown changed into a smile as I figured out what was going on. "Hi," I smiled at The Nana properly and held out my hand. "I'm Alex."

"I know dear." She laughed back at me. "Sandy has told me all about you. Typical of him to do one better and invite a child to live in house. Now, my grandson?"

"Is he not in his room?" Marissa shrugged. "We text him earlier, but he never replied."

"So did I." Kirsten frowned. "He better not be late for the Seder meal."

"Erm…" I raised my hand tentatively, "what?"

"Passover." The Nana repeated. "The festival the Jews use to celebrate their liberation from Egypt."

"We better find Seth then." I smiled at the two women, taking Marissa's hand and leading her back towards my room. "Have you noticed that Seth has been absent a lot recently?" I asked her once my door was closed behind me.

"Well he was here this morning." She shrugged sitting down. "Call him." She suggested, flicking through the book on my nightstand as I found my call went straight to his answering machine. "Nothing?" I shook my head. "Let me try with mine, maybe he's avoiding you guys."

"Wow that's nice." I told her with a roll of my eyes as I sat down besides her and taking back my book, whilst she too found herself directed straight to voicemail. "Anna hasn't seen much of him lately, and he didn't come to L.A with us. In fact," I sat bolt upright and couldn't believe that I'd let this fact slip from my mind, "he was at a party last night. Or a bar. Or something. There was loud music and people all around him."

"And he was hiding out here because he'd stolen Caleb's car…" she frowned back at me.

I was going to walk back into the house but I found Sandy and his mother sitting in the garden, Sandy trying to stop The Nana from smoking, she was winning though.

"Hey girls." She beamed at us. "You can distract my son from irritating me."

"I'm not irritating you Ma," Sandy sighed, "I'm trying to get you to see a doctor."

"A doctor?" I frowned between them.

"I'm dying Alex." She told me cavalierly a broad smile still plastered across her face. "I have cancer."

"We'll leave you." Marissa told them, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the kitchen.

"Well The Nana is scary again," Kirsten rolled her eyes at us before turning her attention back towards the window, "all is right in the world." She sighed giving one last fleeting look at the window before paying full attention to Marissa and I. "What can I do for you?"

"You know Seth stole Caleb's car last night?"

"I'm not blaming you if that's what you're asking." Kirsten smiled at me, laying a hand on my shoulder.

"God no," I shook my head in disbelieve, "that thought hadn't even crossed my mind. Why? Is someone blaming me? Caleb! Its Caleb isn't it?"

"Alex…" Marissa said slowly and soothingly, "aren't you forgetting something?"

"Oh yeah." I said sheepishly. "How did you know?" I asked Kirsten.

"Didn't Seth or Theresa tell you?" Kirsten frowned at me. "I assumed you'd have been the first to know." She shrugged. "The police found the car in Chino."

"What was Seth doing in Chino?" Marissa turned towards me for an answer to which I could offer none that left me feeling anything other than nausea in my stomach.

"He said he just wanted to check out where you grew up so he could get you the right kind of Easter Egg." Kirsten smiled at the memories of his lies. "So God knows." And that's when the penny dropped. "That's where he is now, isn't it?" Marissa and I simply nodded. "Come on then, Hailey will do a better job of making sure that dinner isn't ruined than I will." She sighed as she nodded towards the garden, "best leave those two at it anyway."

* * *

Kirsten sat in the front whilst Marissa and I exchanged whispers in the back, drowned out by whatever Talk Radio Kirsten had playing. I wished I'd had a piece of paper and a pen in front of me so I could work thinks out properly. Alas I had to just make do with my fingers.

"Okay so far we have me and you," Marissa agreed holding out a finger on each hand. "You've slept with me, Theresa and that girlfriend of Caleb's." I opened my mouth but Marissa moved her hand to cover it. "I think its best we leave it at those three." She smiled at me taking her hand back. "And I've slept with Hailey," mouthing Hailey's name just in case we were in earshot of Kirsten, "and gone out with Luke." I nodded along. "My dad is currently with Hailey." Again mouthing her name. "Mum has just finished sleeping with Luke, but is still currently with Caleb – who's ex-girlfriend you slept with."

"Must you two talk about that," Kirsten asked, looking at us through the rear view mirror as she turned up the radio to give us more privacy, "that's just too weird to comprehend." She sighed going back to the road.

Marissa and I rolled her eyes, but she carried on regardless of Kirsten's protests. "So Theresa, your ex girlfriend, is now sleeping with Eddie and Jacob. Jacob is Seth who has gone out with Anna and slept with Summer who has, in turn, slept with the pair of them." She looked down at her hands. "I've run out of fingers."

"So you've slept with my aunt." I frowned trying to work out family ties.

"And you've slept with my mum's boyfriend's ex-girlfriend-"

"This radio won't go any louder girls." Kirsten sighed, switching it off completely, giving up on pretending she couldn't hear us. "So," she glanced at Marissa through the rear view mirror again before returning her eyes to the road, "you have slept with my sister. Can't say I'm surprised," she muttered, more to herself than to us, "Who is now going out with your father – my ex-boyfriend."

"I forgot about that." Marissa nodded.

"My father is going out with your mother," Kirsten continued, "which, if Alex is counting Hailey as her aunt for the purposes of this, whatever you're doing," I watched as she shook her head as she took the turning for Chino, "makes you her aunt too. Kind of. That incestuous for everyone?" She sighed pulling over. "Alex I have no idea where I'm going, do you want to take the wheel?" We stepped out of the car as I moved to behind the wheel and she moved to the passenger seat. "Right, so are we going to go to your ex-girlfriend's house, who is currently my son's girlfriend or are we going to go to her fiancé's house?"

"Theresa's." Marissa and I said in unison as we concluded the ride in silence. As I pulled into the street I could already see Seth lying on the Gonzalez's front yard.

"Dear God," Kirsten sighed eyeing both her fallen son and the Range Rover parked haphazardly on the curb, "what trouble has he got himself into now?" I pulled up behind the Cohen's other family car, "How did he even know where to find her?" She asked me as we simply watched him continue to lay on the ground oblivious to us.

"Sat nav." I shrugged hopping out and heading towards him. "Jacob I presume." I sighed extending my hand out to his and pulled him up. The edge of my little finger caught on his watch face and it all fell into place. "You went back to the motel to find your watch, which is how you caught-"

"My mum and Luke." Marissa finished for me.

"Home. Now." Kirsten told him, if she'd unfolded her arms we would have been able to see her hands shaking from rage. "Now Seth!"

"No." He said simply, tugging himself free from my grip, his hand briefly went to his chin where he'd clearly been hit, explaining his stint on the ground. I grabbed his wrist again as he walked past me, again he snatched himself free from me. "I'm staying."

"So you can do what?" I asked him.

"She's getting married." Marissa tried to coach him away from her garden gate.

"Don't you think I know that?" He laughed almost bitterly back at her. "This is their engagement party." He waved his arms gesturing to the music playing from the yard behind, the laughter and happiness flooding from it. The joy that was so suddenly obvious from the garden beyond us.

"She's getting married." I repeated Marissa's words to him. Almost silently. "Its time to let her go." I told him.

"I love her." He told me, his voice as quiet as mine.

"I know. Its hard not to." I smiled at him, taking his hand once more, as I walked him back to Marissa and Kirsten. "But there are even more beautiful women in Orange County."

"Give Alex the keys to the Range Rover." Kirsten commanded, barely able to look at him. "Get in my car and sit there and await my anger." Seth passed me the keys and climbed into Kirsten's car. He ignored the passenger seat and opted for the back, presumably that way hoping to avoid his mother's wrath.

"Are you okay to drive?" I asked her.

"I'm a grown woman." Kirsten reminded me. "See you at home, where we shall sit, drink and be merry for The Nana's sake and once she goes back to the Bronx Seth is going to have a hell of a lot of painting to do." She shook her head. "Are you going to come back for Passover?" She asked Marissa, her tone suddenly a lot calmer now, as if she'd lost her anger in deciding upon his punishment.

"I'm not Jewish." Marissa replied simply.

"The Jews are going to be in the minority at this Seder meal." She told her. "Come." She said simply before climbing into her car to begin yelling at her son and heir.

"I've not seen Kirsten that angry since the first time I got Seth drunk." I told Marissa as I watched the Cohen's drive away. "That seems so long ago now. We're different people now, any mistakes he makes now are definitely his own."

"Like car theft, sleeping with an engaged woman-"

"I don't think we need a third." I smiled at her, kissing her for the first time in what felt like forever. "Lets go home."

"Don't you want to pop in and see Theresa?" Marissa frowned at me.

"No, she needn't know we were here. Let her have this day." I said as I unlocked Sandy's car. "So, ever been to a Passover before?"

"Nope." She shook her head, as she hopped into the car besides me. "You?"

"Read about them." I shrugged.

"What haven't you read about?" I shrugged again and I pulled away from the curb, my old neighbourhood, my old girlfriend and my old life as I drove towards my current one. "Alex…" Marissa said slowly as we pulled on to the freeway.

"Yeah?"

"Please don't ever, ever sleep with my kid sister."

"I think we're all incestuous enough." I smiled at her, moving my hand so that it was on her knee as we drove home. I allowed for a pause before I brought up the thing that had been nagging away at me all day. "These two days have been odd."

"To say the least." Marissa nodded.

"Who has a birthday party on a Tuesday?"

"Famous people?" Marissa shrugged.

"Okay, but why have your engagement party on a Wednesday?"

"That's what's been bugging you? The days on which we live our insane lives?" She laughed at me as she flicked on the radio signifying the end of the conversation and bizarre couple of days we'd just lived.

* * *

As always please R&R, thank you, Circus. 


	24. The Engagement

**THE ENGAGEMENT**

There was a shark. A big one. And a octopus, or a squid. I wasn't really sure which, to be honest I wasn't paying attention. I was subtly trying to feel Marissa up in the movie theatre without Seth noticing; a task made so much harder by the fact he was sat besides her. I didn't want to be there though, I was bored out of my mind, but Marissa had insisted. This was 'Seth's day' she'd said, we all had to be there, she'd insisted. And so we were. Marissa and I on one side of him, Summer and Anna on the other side. All of us staring up at a giant shark fight a giant octopus or squid tearing apart the Golden Gate bridge, because that was the film Seth had picked and it was 'Seth's day.'

"So," I sighed as I stretched and yawned once the lights came back on. "Now what?"

"Its Seth's choice." Marissa smiled at him, patting him on the knee. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't need baby sitting." He told her. "I'm not going to run off to Chino again and try and win Theresa back."

"No, the first five times really sealed the deal on her being with Eddie." I nodded, "Especially with them throwing an engagement party and all that."

"Not helping." Marissa growled in my ear as she hit me in the stomach.

"How about Jamba Juice?" Anna suggested.

"I could go for some juice." Summer nodded.

"I hear they make it right in front of you." Marissa smiled, taking Seth's hand and leading him out of the theatre. I went to follow them but Anna grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

"Look," she hissed at me through gritted teeth, "I know you're pissed because he slept with Theresa, but he's your brother now-"

"Yeah," I hissed back at her, "he's my brother now he shouldn't be sleeping with my ex-girlfriends."

"You're with Marissa now aren't you? Aren't you?" she repeated when I refused to answer, I simply nodded. "You love her don't you?" I nodded once more. "You're over Theresa aren't you? Aren't you?" She asked again with more urgency waiting for my response.

"Yes. But-"

"No buts." She told me, finally letting go of my wrist. "Seth loves her. He's hurting. Take his _damn_ side in this."

I slumped back down in one of the chairs. She simply left me there to figure out what to do. She was right, of course she was. She was always right. That was her best and worst quality. She was always right. Theresa and I were awful together, I cheated on her, she cheated on me, with Jodie watching on and loving every minute of it. I wasn't entirely sure why I was so mad at Seth sleeping with her. I mean I knew he was. Deep down. It was obvious. Everyone knew we just chose not to talk about it. Him falling in love with her, that was the real shock of it all. Yet I still couldn't be mad at him for that. I wasn't mad at him at all really. It was her.

She had an opportunity to escape. Escape from the hardships and trailer park life that we'd lived. She'd had a chance to give it all but she rejected it. For better or for worse she gave it up. For richer or for poorer she stayed home. In sickness and in health she rejected this lifestyle. She rejected me.

"Alright." I said, slapping my legs and pushing my self up, "that's quite enough of that now." And it was. I was done. I'd given Chino up, I was a Cohen now. This was my life now. Time to stop thinking about what was and focus on what would be. Time to go back to my girlfriend, my friends and my brother.

I found them in Jamba Juice, Summer was deciding between one green flavour of some health grass and another similar one only low fat, Anna tried to explain but stumbled when she realised that she didn't actually understand that grass could be considered to be high in fat. Marissa simply passed me a mango flavour she'd bought for me and Seth continued sucking on his own juice as we made our way out of the store and back into the mall.

"So what do you guys fancy doing now?" I smiled at them all. "Seth?"

"Look, guys," he pointed his juice at us each in turn, "just because the girl that I love is getting married to a tall, dark goat doesn't mean that I'm not okay." He paused to drink a bit more of his juice. "I'm okay. Really. Okay."

"Okay." We all smiled back at him. "But for my benefit," Marissa took his hand again, "can we all go round to yours and play video games?"

"Why wouldn't you be o-" he faulted though when he spotted something over her shoulder. We all followed his gaze until our eyes landed upon Luke and Julie sitting alone at a table in the middle of the food court. "Oh yeah." Seth mused. "There was tha-" he cut himself off though when Marissa began to run off again.

* * *

"Hey man." Seth beamed at me handing me a cup of coffee as he woke me up. I sat it down on my nightstand and rolled over to go back to sleep, but Seth was already opening my blinds. "How's Marissa?"

"She's okay." I told him, throwing a pillow over my face. "You?"

"Well my ex-boyfriend isn't sleeping with my mum." I felt him sit down besides me. "Okay that came out gayer than it sounded in my head. What are you going to do?"

"I'm trying to go back to sleep." I told him from beneath my pillow.

"Yeah I mean I know you're doing that now…" he nodded, taking the pillow away and using it to prop himself up. He watched as I relented and sat up before he passed me my coffee again. "But when you get up and dressed you're going to go out and beat up Luke right?"

"No." I frowned at him, sipping from my cup. "He's bigger than me. I always lose."

"But you're going to try right?" He smiled at me hopefully.

"No." I passed him back my coffee and got up. I pulled on yesterday's jeans before taking my cup back from him. "Video games?"

"Sure." He nodded, getting up and following me out of my room. "But then we're going to beat up Luke right?"

"No." I grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl as I passed it. "Pro Ninja VIII?"

"Stop." I spun round so that I was facing him, my banana appeared to be pointed at him like a gun. "Why aren't we beating up Luke? Marissa is hurting. You should be running in and saving the day. You normally do that by punching people."

"I can punch you?" I offered, setting down my coffee and pealing my breakfast. Seth simply stood there and continued to stare at me. "Okay, so Luke is sleeping with Julie – yes. Marissa is hurt. But only because its her mum. She's mad at her. She is however trying to deal with it-" I held up my hand in front of his mouth as I sensed him about to interrupt. "-because Jimmy is sleeping with Hailey and it would be implausible for me to beat up Luke for sleeping with Julie if I don't beat up Hailey for sleeping with Jimmy." I dropped my hand after making sure that Seth was going to remain silent. "I can't beat up Hailey because she's Kirsten's sister and because Marissa is actually kinda happy that her dad has found someone even if it is her ex-girlfriend. But she doesn't really consider Hailey to be her ex-girlfriend because she was just a dump affair she had last summer whilst she was working out her feelings towards girls." Seth stared at me open mouthed. "Are we all caught up?" he nodded mutely. "Do you want to go back to us all pandering to your needs now?"

"Pro Ninja VIII?"

"Pro Ninja VIII." I smiled at him, letting him pass and following him to the TV. "I might actually get an angst free week." I smiled at him.

"You might," he smiled back at me, "if it weren't for Luke standing in our garden." Seth pointed over my shoulder.

"Better cancel any plans I had about inviting the girls over then." I sighed, placing my empty coffee cup on the table and walking out to Luke, knowing that Seth was in tow. "What you doing here?"

"I didn't come here to fight." He smiled weakly at me. Too weakly. He looked pathetic. A shell of the guy that he was once before. Merely a suggestion of who he used to be.

"I thought you'd ended it with Julie." Seth growled at him, clearly taking up the protective role that I was letting slip.

"It is, believe me. I just had to talk to her." I waved my hand for him to explain. "I'm leaving."

"Yeah, well," Seth smiled at him smugly, "thanks for stopping by."

"See you Monday." I nodded at him. "Where we'll ignore you in school and-" I looked to Seth for a suggestion.

"Alex might throw things at your head. She likes throwing things."

"Beer cans." I nodded back at him. "I do like throwing beer cans. Hey," I smiled at him, "I could call up a couple of skeazy ex-cons and get them to beat him up too."

"Now that sounds like a plan." He smiled back at me.

"Stop." Luke held up his hand, pleading for us to just… stop. "I'm leaving town." He said quietly. "Now that the divorce is final my dad just wants to get out so we got family in Portland…"

"You're going with him?" I frowned at him. "But the whole 'gay dad' thing. You actually okay with that now?"

"Well, since you came to town everybody is gay now." He tried to laugh at his own joke, but it wasn't funny, he couldn't even really continue the pretence of his weak smile. "Don't tell anybody, I don't want to make a big deal about this, but that's what I trying to tell Julie an that's what I want to tell Marissa, but I want to tell her myself…" he trailed off again, waiting for my response. I didn't really know what to say. I didn't know what I could say. I wasn't sure how Marissa was dealing with any of this really, to have her sit down and have a cosy chat about it with her ex-boyfriend was a step beyond my comprehension. "Just think about it." Luke sighed before walking off and out of our yard.

"Pro Ninja VIII?" Seth shrugged half heartily.

"Fancy coming to Marissa's with me?" I asked him.

"I don't need babysitting."

"I know." I agreed, still not taking my eyes of the spot where Luke had exited, "but come anyway."

* * *

I knocked at the door and found it answered by Summer, she waved us in and I joined Marissa on the sofa. "Coop and I were about to apply some Salt Glow." Summer smiled. "You two want to join?"

"Can I assume this is why Anna is not here?" Seth asked Marissa, she merely nodded. "And to think I could have been playing Pro Ninja VIII."

"What happened to Pro Ninja VII?" Marissa asked.

"New one came out whilst…" suddenly he was laughing to himself. "I was going to say whilst you," he pointed to me, "were in lock up but that was VII."

"I remember," I smiled at him, "jail makes you miss all the good things in life."

Seth sat down besides us, "This is weird, its like the summer-"

"Cept Summer is out now." I pointed to her sitting crossed legged opposite us all.

"Hey!" she pointed back. "This is weird though. Just the four of us. No Anna, no Lu-"

"Luke." Marissa finished for her. "Its okay, you can say his name. I just don't know what I'm going to do about him."

"Kick his arse?" Summer suggested, with just a hint of a smile.

"I can't Sum, not given that Dad is now with Hailey." Marissa sounded more than a little annoyed by that.

"What's Hailey being with your dad got to do with anything?" Summer frowned back at her. "I'm the one that slept with her…" she trailed off when she noticed us all staring open mouthed at her. "What?"

"Ew." Was all Marissa could manage before Seth and I burst out laughing.

"Thank you." He smiled at them both. "Thank you. You two have really put my life into prospective."

"What?" Summer complained as Seth and I continued laughing.

"Last summer I had an affair with her." Marissa told her quietly.

"Ew." Summer nodded. "Ew!"

Had it not been for the door knocking, I expect we would have been locked in that situation. Summer and Marissa equally grossed out and Seth and I trying to fight our tears of laughter. I pushed Seth off the sofa and shoved him in the direction of the door.

"Hey Grandpa." He smiled at Caleb, wiping a tear from his eye. "Mr Cooper is at the restaurant with Dad if you want him."

"I know." Caleb told him walking past him and into Jimmy's tiny apartment. "I've just come from there. Its Marissa I'm here to see." Suddenly we were all standing. Summer grabbed Seth and I and took us upstairs, despite Marissa's protests that we could all stay. The three of us waited on the stairs, pretending to be out of earshot but we knew that they knew we weren't. "What follows doesn't leave this room." He enunciated the last part to make sure that the four of us understood him properly. "Marissa your mother is... a wonderful woman."

"She is?" we heard her reply.

"You are very important to her," Caleb continued, "and I know you and I haven't spent a lot of time together but it was important to me to come and get your blessing…" there was a pregnant pause. "I'm gonna ask her to marry me."

"You want to marry my mum?" she asked not even trying to hide the disgust in her voice.

"I love her very much."

"You don't know her!"

I hurried downstairs, hearing Marissa's distress, "Uh, maybe you should give Marissa some time, this is kind of a big deal." I suggested to him as I put my arm around her.

"Impossible." He said curtly. "I intend to propose to her tonight; at the restaurant with our friends and family in attendance."

"Then why did you come to ask for blessing when you had no intention of listening to Marissa?" I asked quickly, insulted by his rudeness.

"I can't stop you." Marissa said sadly, ignoring my outburst.

"I'll see you both tonight." He said as he stood and made his way to the door. "Thanks for your time, dear, and again this is just between us, I want it to be a surprise." He told her before shutting it after him.

"If my mum marries him she's gonna be the most powerful woman in Newport." Marissa said quickly before the door had even clicked back into place.

"What if you told Caleb the truth bout your mum?" I suggested as the other two came and joined us downstairs. Summer stood on Marissa's other side and wrapped an arm around her.

"If my granddad marries your mum," the three of us snapped our heads up and shot Seth a warning glance, "it will mean that my two aunts with have slept together."

I expected Marissa to contradict him, to explain that she and Hailey had never been together like that, but she and Summer had already made motions to change the subject to anything other than families and relationships.

* * *

We left Summer and Marissa to themselves, especially given that Summer decided the best thing to do to cheer Marissa up involved face and hair masks. I took that as our cue to leave given that neither Seth, nor I, knew that you could even get hair masks. When we arrived home we found both Luke and his truck waiting in our drive for us. He leapt out as soon as he saw us pull up.

"Hey," he nodded at the pair of us before we'd even closed the car doors behind us.

"Hey." I returned, with Seth mumbling something about going inside.

"Did you talk to her?" Luke asked me once the front door had shut behind Seth.

"I tried." I lied.

"And?"

"I don't think it's gonna happen, man." I went to pat him on the arm and walk past him and into the house behind Seth but he stepped in my path.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," I shrugged at a loss of what to say, "she's dealing with a lot of stuff right now, you know... family stuff."

"Well so she won't even see me for like thirty seconds?"

"Well Jimmy and Sandy are opening their restaurant tonight," I shrugged again. "Busy, busy, busy."

"I'm leaving town _forever_." He pleaded with me.

"Look," I was getting pissed off now, "she doesn't know that because you don't want anyone but yourself telling her and she doesn't know how to talk to you right now. There is nothing I can do. Private message her on facebook. Send her a tweet. Go old school and write her a letter." I pushed past him, tired of the conversation. "Just move on." I walked into the house unsure if he was still in the drive when I slammed the door shut behind me. I found the Cohen's all in the kitchen. "You look really nice." I smiled at Kirsten.

"Thanks." She smiled back at me. "Fancy telling Sandy that he looks good too?" she patted him on the shoulder, "he doesn't really look like he's in the mood to celebrate."

"He better be," Seth sighed, "after I helped paint that damned restaurant." Kirsten and Sandy glared at him. "Which I did as a punishment for stealing Granddad's car… Did I mention how sorry I was about all that?"

"Well there might not be a restaurant after tonight." Sandy said, still glaring at Seth, "You know that mix up with the liquor license, it's not such a mix up."

"What do you mean?" I frowned at him.

"Turns out the new commissioners a former client of Jimmy's with a quarter of million dollar score to settle." Sandy paused to take a drink of what appeared to be whiskey, "So without that license there's no point in opening the restaurant I've been on the phone all day trying to call in favours I got nothing the guy is serious the only way he'll reconsider is if Jimmy steps down, leaves the business."

"You're not considering-"

"No," Sandy interrupted his wife, "'course not."

"Well there is one last option, your not gonna like it, my dad," Kirsten stopped to allow Sandy room to complain before continuing, "he can be very persuasive."

"Oh honey," Sandy smiled at her, waving his glass, "I might have to throw a few more of these back before you start bringing up Caleb."

I looked towards Seth and found him staring back at me, we both knew what was coming tonight and if Sandy was already drinking before we'd even headed to the restaurant I dreaded to think what he'd be like later.

"Lets get dressed." Seth mumbled as we passed each other, leaving Kirsten and Sandy drinking in the kitchen.

The five of us sat at one of the table while people milled all around us. Summer had clearly filled Anna in on what happened at Marissa's this afternoon because she was as subdued as the rest of us. None of us really knew what to do in this situation, Summer tried to empathise by bringing up a similar story line on _The Valley_ but Anna had told her that she wasn't really helping and so we went back to silence.

"Want to go back to making me feel better about Theresa?" Seth asked after a while, "We had something to talk about then?" He looked round the table of blank faces. "What about Luke leaving town?"

"Luke's leaving town?" Marissa frowned at him and then at me.

"Yeah," I sighed, slapping Seth round the back of the head, "I meant to tell you about that-"

"You've spoken to him?" Marissa's voice was raising.

"I fancy some olives. You fancy some olives?" Anna asked Summer as she raised from her chair.

"Got to love those olives." Summer nodded, following suit and pulling Seth along with her. "We're going to get some olives." She told Marissa and I, leaving me in trouble.

"You spoke to Luke?" Marissa asked again.

"He came over." I shrugged. "Twice."

"What did you say?"

"Not much – like you said – Hailey…" I waved my hand in the direction of the bar where Hailey was serving Jimmy drinks and a little too much attention. "Hypocritical…" I tried again. I didn't know what to say, I very nearly said 'Olives' before I was saved by Julie walking over towards us. She and Marissa exchanged pleasantries before Julie gave up trying to engage with her daughter. "Luke's leaving." I sighed out eventually. "No matter what happened when I first got here, between your mom and him, he became your friend again-"

"You see this is the thing," Marissa hissed in my ear as she rose, "I expect this kind of crap from Hailey but Luke became my friend again. I thought he'd changed." She finished her glass of wine, not taking her eyes off her mother as she downed it. "Besides, mom knew Luke was my ex, Dad doesn't know about Hailey."

I followed Marissa to a waiter with another tray of drinks, we each took one and joined the other three at the buffet.

"I can't get enough of these things." I sighed glancing round the room.

"One day there'll be a party that we enjoy." Summer mused.

"Christmas wasn't too bad." Marissa countered.

"I got grounded." Seth pointed out.

"I got sent to therapy."

"We got caught." Anna pointed between herself and Summer.

"Well it wasn't too bad for me at least." Marissa sighed popping an olive in her mouth as the group of us drifted back into silence.

* * *

"Excuse me everyone," Caleb was tapping a spoon against his champagne class, "I have something I'd like to say." The five of us downed our glasses as Summer waved over another waiter so we could get more. "I hope you're all enjoying yourselves tonight as much as I am, although my enjoyment of life over the last few months," I took Marissa's free hand tightly within my own, "goes beyond the restaurant to a very special lady, Julie Copper."

Caleb pauses to allow for the crowd to applaud him, none of us joined in. I looked over towards Kirsten and Sandy and saw them standing still too, neither Jimmy nor Hailey were clapping the other side of the room. I did however, receive a jab in my side as Seth elbowed me in the ribs and then pointed towards Luke in the doorway. I passed him my glass and went to deal with him.

"Julie did a fantastic job on the décor, didn't she?" Caleb paused once more to wait for applause.

"I don't think you should be here." I told Luke.

"-And it is here on this opening night that I'd like to show her how special she really is-"

"I need to talk to Marissa," Luke was slurring, oblivious to his surroundings, he saw neither the Newport elite around him nor the old man on his knee, "I've got to tell her that is wasn't just sex. I love her mom."

"Julie Copper," I glanced over to Caleb and Luke followed my gaze, "will you marry me." Luke was out of the door before Julie could accept but there was no doubt he heard the eruption of noise from the congregated crowd of the restaurant.

I chased Luke down the parking lot to his badly parked truck, his engine was still running, he was slamming the door as I caught up to him.

"Luke, get out of the car," I pleaded with him. "You're drunk."

"Did you know that was going to happen?" Was all he said to me before he sped off away from the joy inside the restaurant. I felt the others walk down besides me, watching Luke drive into the night with me.

"Now what?" Seth asked for us all.

"We get drunk?" I suggested.

"And then?" Marissa whispered, taking my hand back.

"No and then." I squeezed her hand, knowing all of us were still staring into the space where Luke's car had been. "We just keep drinking."

"Good plan." Was all Summer said as we turned back to the happiness of the party, none of us in the mood to celebrate.

* * *

R&R, thank you, Circus.


	25. The Shower

**THE SHOWER**

"Two weeks!" Kirsten exclaimed as Seth and I walked into the kitchen for breakfast.

"Sorry?" I frowned at her.

"_Two weeks_ unbelievable..." Kirsten continued, oblivious to all of us around her. "Who would believe it? I don't believe it!"

"Ah it's the tourettes flaring up again," Seth pointed at his mom, "it happens every now and again but its fine."

"Or its this." I pointed to the wedding invitation on the breakfast bar in front of us. "Julie and Caleb's wedding invitation they're getting married in, uh-"

"Two weeks!" Kirsten finished for me.

"Luke won't have even finished unpacking in Portland by that time." I sighed as Seth took the invitation from my hand.

"Wow!" Seth said looking through it. "They're really doing it. An unfortunate image just leapt in my mind."

"I mean I just I-I don't understand what _is_ the rush?" Kirsten asked the room, clearly not wanting a reply.

"Honey, it's the Gruesome Twosome what do you expect?" Sandy asked, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's the shock an awe approach to courtship!"

"Julie Cooper is getting married to my_ father _and your being flip?" She replied shrugging his hand away.

"Me being flip about Caleb? No I'm kind of softening on the guy; he may not be friendly or ethical or you know a million laughs…"

"But he is…?" Kirsten said, encouraging him to finish his sentence.

"Generous. Boy either that or he is in love and delusional, because he threw out a ball park figure for what he's offering Jimmy and me for the restaurant... it ain't chump change." He finished.

"Hmm so he's bought your acceptance?" Kirsten asked, sceptically.

"But at a _very_ high price." He smiled at her before turning his attention to me. "Hey, how's Marissa dealing with her new step dad?"

"Well," I shrugged, "she's agreed to be in the wedding."

"So," Seth smiled, "lets all take a step back from this," he placed the invite back down and slid it along the work bench out of arms reach, "and untangle this incestuous web that I like to call the Julie-Caleb union. Now lets think about this, when this bizarro knot gets tired Julie Cooper's going to be your mother-in-law," Seth pointed to Sandy with a smile. "She's going to be your step-mom." He laughed at his mom.

"Seth, my head is spinning." Kirsten sighed picking up the invite once more.

"Me and Marissa, we could be related," Seth stopped for long enough to shake his head, "I don't know I can't even do that math but, but the real kicker is Julie Cooper, my _grandma_, my grandma wears Uggs."

"Yeah," I nodded back at him, "You are clearly the victim in all of this." I agreed with a sarcastic smile as the phone began to ring.

"Hello?" Sandy answered, plugging his finger in his ear and going into the other room to shut out Seth.

"She wears Uggs, Alex, Uggs."

"What are Uggs?" I frowned at him.

"Go to school." Kirsten simply told the pair of us.

* * *

"I like this," Seth told me as me and him waited for Marissa to finish on the phone in the Common Room.

"Waiting to get coffee?" I asked him, trying to get the attention of anyone behind the counter.

"No." he laughed. "Us three hanging out. Its like when you first came to Newport."

"Yeah, cept for the fact that Marissa doesn't hide hanging out with us, Luke's not here to beat us up and lesbianism's almost acceptable now." I smiled nodding my head in the direction of Summer and Anna sat on a sofa the other side of the room.

"Well its not like when you first came to Newport in that sense. But its still nice it just being us three." He smiled at me I simply smiled back at him and allowed him to revel for a while.

"A couple's shower?" Marissa said shutting her phone and throwing it in her bag.

"On second thoughts it is like when I first came to Newport, Marissa was always on the phone and interrupting us." I smiled at her.

"See told you man!" Seth smiled at me. "Plus there's the added bonus that I'm not all hung up over Summer."

"That's a good point."

"Hello?" Marissa waved her hand in front of us, snapping us out of our reminiscing. "A little attention here please, I have to throw a couple's shower."

"I think I speak for both of us when I ask: What's a couple's shower?" I asked.

"Something I am not throwing for my mom."

"We should have seen that coming." Seth laughed. "Can we delve any deeper into this watery mess that is a couple's shower?"

"That was a message from Caleb saying that per our arrangement he wants me to help Kirsten throw a shower for my mum. Deep enough for you water boy?" she asked him.

"I can cope with that as an explanation."

"What about moving in with them?" I asked, trying to get water out of the conversation. "Have you told your dad yet?"

"No… but I will. Today." She told me, a little too quickly.

"Look if you don't want to throw this shower then don't; stand your ground." I said, sensing she was still seething about the shower.

"Standing my ground is not really my strong suit."

"How bout I hold it for you?" I offered.

"Yeah and me." Seth said, getting odd looks from both me and Marissa. "What? I wanna join in. Like back in the day when it was just us three… we used to do ground holding stuff together."

"You are far too happy about all of this." Marissa frowned at him.

"Yeah," I nodded, "I think I liked it more when you were moping about Theresa."

"I was not moping." Seth pointed at me.

"You went to Chino on several occasions." I pointed back.

"That wasn't moping." Seth countered, slapping my hand away, "that was a road trip."

"Uh huh." Marissa nodded between the two of us, leading us over to Summer and Anna. "Can you change the subject for us?" Marissa asked them, sitting on the opposite sofa, "Seth's about to go all mopey over Theresa again."

"I am not mopey." Seth grumbled sitting down anyway.

"Anna is going to have dinner with my dad tonight." Summer offered us.

"Anna's meeting your dad?" Marissa's attention was definitely caught. "You finally came out to him?"

"Didn't have all that much of a choice." She smiled nervously. "He kinda caught us."

"That's how Marissa came out." I told her.

"Yeah but that was overshadowed by me telling everyone on a yacht that Mom and Caleb were something of an item."

"I still think you did that purposely so that the biggest news in Newport was them rather than another dyke living amongst them." Seth smiled at her, she simply responded by hitting him round the back of the head. "What was that for? Are we done being nice to me now? Do I have to play the Theresa card one more time?"

"Don't say 'dyke.'" Marissa simply told him.

"How come whatever happens in our lives, your lives always dominate conversation?" Anna asked.

"Nothings going on in our lives." I told her confused. "'Cept that Seth just lost the sympathy of four of his close friends by using the word 'dyke.'"

"And that I have to help plan a party for a woman I hate, then move in with her and her half dead husband all the time whilst my dad is now sleeping with Hailey."

"Didn't you say you had a Hailey?" Anna frowned at Summer confused.

"Same Hailey." Summer nodded. "You wait 'til Cooper tells you she was sleeping with her last summer when she was still with Luke."

"I was not sleeping with her."

"Whatever," Summer waved her off, "can we focus on us for a second?"

"Do you two ever lock doors?" Seth asked. "I mean I caught you two together-"

"I've caught you two together-" I interrupted him.

"I've caught you two together." Marissa interrupted me.

"Okay we get it."

"We need to start locking doors." Anna said. "Now can we find away for me to gain the love of a man that's clearly hates me already?"

"We're going to need more coffee." I sighed, sliding further down into the sofa.

* * *

The entire school day had passed and no one had learned anything that would take away from either Summer and Anna having dinner with Mr Roberts or Marissa throwing a couple's shower. I found that all that had changed in the school day was that we swapped the sofa of the Common Room for that of my front room. However, as Marissa had gone home for a bit Summer and Anna focused on their impending problem rather than hers, whilst Seth and I played video games in front of them.

"Hey," Anna said throwing a cushion at us, "you two are crap hosts." Seth paused the game and we turned to face them. "Drinks would be nice." Anna suggested. Seth and I threw Rock, Paper, Scissors and as I lost I pushed myself up off the floor and headed to the fridge.

"Why did you two stop talking as soon as I approached?" I frowned at Sandy and Kirsten. "You two aren't talking about the couple's shower are you?"

"Couple's shower?" Sandy frowned at me.

"As the Maid of Honour, it is my duty to throw a couple's shower." Kirsten sighed.

"You're throwing it?" I frowned at her, "Thought Marissa was."

"Can we just take a moment to talk about Kirsten being the Maid of Honour please?" Sandy smiled between us.

"No." Kirsten silenced him with a glare. "You know Julie. Everyone's got to get involved to make her the centre of attention. Surprised she doesn't have a role for you."

"I think she's delegated me the role of not sleeping with her daughter." I shrugged. "Turned her down." I looked at their aghast faces. "Wrong crowd for that joke." I sighed. "You two go back to whatever it was you didn't want me to know about." I smiled at them taking four soda's from the fridge, heading back to the others and handing them round. Seth unpaused the game as I sat down, the door bell rang, another round of Rock, Paper, Scissors and I was up again.

"Julie," I smiled opening the door to her. "Don't look so surprised." I sighed. "I live here now… have done for a while." I stood aside and let her pass. "Kirsten and Sandy are in the kitchen if you wish to not talk to me from that room." I closed the door and made my way back to the other three as it rang again. "You know what," I told Seth, "lets just assume you threw Rock and I threw Scissors. I miss Rosa," I mumbled under my breath as I went back to the door, "she always answered the door." I pulled it open and found Marissa on the other side.

"Hey," She smiled at me as she stepped in. "What are you grumbling about?"

"Oh nothing. Your mom's just gone into the kitchen though."

"I'd grumble about that too." She sighed stepping back out onto the drive, I grabbed her arm and spun her back round to face me. "I'll come back later?"

"You told Kirsten you'd stop by."

"I just don't want to deal with my mom right now, I mean all I want to do is get back at her and here I am throwing her a party."

"You could always throw a stunt like you did on the yacht. That was fun." I smiled at her pushing her into the kitchen.

"Oh, honey, hi." Julie said, pulling Marissa into a hug she didn't want to be in.

"Hey." Marissa said, as she managed to get out of it.

"Thanks for coming. So you stopped by to help us, huh?"

"Actually Kirsten called me so I stopped by to help Kirsten." Marissa told her mother curtly.

"Well then I'll let you get to it," she nodded at Marissa. "Kirsten, Alex."

"Mrs C."

"Are you okay?" Kirsten asked.

"Fine," Marissa said sucking in her breath, implying that she was anything but fine. "So, um, what can I do to help?"

"You can double check the guest list with the invitations." Kirsten said, riffling through the endless pieces of paper in front of her. "I have everyone from the Newport group, all the ladies from spin class," she said as she handed Marissa one of the pieces of paper, "but there's no one from Julie's family."

"Uh, yeah well my mom and her parents sort of don't speak." She told Kirsten.

"Understanding your relationship with Julie a little better now." I nodded.

"Well what about her sisters?" Kirsten asked, trying to hide her laugh.

"Don't deny. I know you think I'm funny." I smiled at her.

"Quiet you." She said pointing a piece of paper at me. "And back to the family." She said turning to Marissa.

"Hey don't point that think at me!" she said holding her hands up. "And there's always Aunt Cindy." She suggested just before Kirsten's phone started ringing.

"Mmm." Kirsten nodded checking the caller ID. "Ah the caterers great. Aunt Cindy you'll get in touch with her?" She waited for Marissa to nod before answering her phone. "Hi, George how are you doing?" She asked walking into the dining room.

"Wow, did you just take the high road?" I asked Marissa.

"You've never met Aunt Cindy." Marissa smirked back at me before walking out to join the others in the living room.

* * *

Marissa and I walked into the house the next morning to pick up Seth before we all headed to the beach, and found the house invaded by the shower plans.

"Aunt Cindy," Marissa gasped, recognising the person sat on the sofa with Kirsten. "Look at you! Hey." She smiled as they hugged after the red head had finished squealing.

"Hey!"

"So this is my girlfriend, Alex." Marissa told her, grabbing my hand and pulling me more into the room.

"Oh my god!" she squealed again. "You're doing the gay experiment like your mother did when she was your age."

"It's not an experiment." Marissa told her.

"Julie had a gay phase?" Kirsten and I said together.

"Jinx!" I laughed at her.

"Oh yeah!" Cindy told us. "She was completely in love with this girl called Annabelle."

"This is going to be good." I smiled sitting down. "Tell me more."

"They met at a Def Leopard concert." She told us, as Marissa came to sit next to me on the chair. "She was always driving me to Anaheim to help her scalp tickets."

"I don't know what's better Mum being gay or her being into heavy metal!" Marissa laughed.

"I can't believe she ever went to Anaheim!" Kirsten laughed with her.

"So, where is the belle of the ball anyway?" Cindy asked, looking round at us, "Doing yoga? Getting botox?"

"Uh you and Julie... do you talk often?" Kirsten asked looking at Marissa rather than Cindy, whilst Marissa hid behind a piece of paper.

"Sure... if you call once every seven years often." She laughed in response. "Look I'll hand it to you straight, I was _shocked_ she wanted me here."

"You were?" Kirsten asked her, still looking at Marissa, who was still hiding.

"The high roads never looked so low." I whispered in her ear.

"Yeah I mean last time I saw her," Cindy continued oblivious, "and memories a little foggy on account of the jello shots, I'm pretty sure she told me to get lost... for good."

Kirsten merely nodded before leaning forward to pull down the piece of paper Marissa was hiding behind. "Marissa can I talk to you in-" Kirsten was interrupted by the door opening.

"Oh hi, I'm so sorry I don't mean to interrupt but you-" Julie stopped as soon as she spotted her sister, her smile vanishing. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well its nice to see you too," Cindy beamed at her. "I'm here because I was invited. By Marissa." She told Julie before turning to look at Marissa.

"Marissa is this true?" Julie asked her.

"Well you guys probably have_ tons _to catch up on," she said laughing nervously as she stood up, "so I'm gonna give you some alone time."

"Yeah we should probably get that cake too." I said, following her out of the living room. "I'll get Seth."

"Right," she told me. "Have fun." She said to the adults.

* * *

"You should have seen the look on Mum's face!" Marissa laughed, as we filled Seth in on what he'd missed.

"You know she used to be a gay rocker?" I asked him as I opened the door to the bakery.

"A gay rocker?" Seth laughed, "Tell me why I was upstairs and missing all this?"

"Because you were sitting in your room reading comics like a loner?" Marissa asked.

"You're mean," Seth pointed at her, "you know that right?"

"I'm okay with that." Marissa smiled at him. "Hey, we're here to pick up a cake, name of Cooper." Marissa told the woman behind the counter.

"Mmm-hmm let me check on that for you." The lady told her before going out back.

"Thanks." She smiled at her before getting distracted by the sample cake.

"Oh dear, we're going to get no sense out of her now that she's spotted free cake." I warned Seth, as we watched her pick up a piece.

"Mmm! Oh my god!" She said with a mouth full, "This is amazing you've got to try this." She told me holding out the remainders for me.

"Yeah?"

"Mmm-hm. Mmm-hmm." She smiled at me, putting it in my mouth.

"That _is_ good." I agreed.

"Do I get to try any of this cake?" Seth asked as he watched me and Marissa munch.

"Yeah, you have to!" she smiled at him, handing him his own piece. However, her hand stopped mid way between the two of them when she spotted something over his shoulder.

"What?" He asked, looking behind him, but I was already gone.

"Theresa." I said, taking the cake from her hand and passing it to Marissa. "What happened to you?" I asked cupping her cheek, rubbing her black eye with my thumb. "Don't tell me this was Eddie."

"I didn't want to get you involved. Either of you," she told me moving my hand away from her face and looking between Seth and I, "You weren't even supposed to know I was here. I guess Sandy went ahead and told you anyway." She said, looking down from our gaze.

"Dad knew about this?"

* * *

Neither of us spoke. Marissa drove us home before leaving us to it. Neither of us spoke. We simply went to our rooms. Neither of us speaking. Kirsten called me from dinner and I can only assume Seth did too as the next morning Sandy came into my room with Seth in tow and instructed him to sit.

"I know you're pissed off," he began as I curled up and hugged my knees beneithe my covers and Seth looked anywhere but at him, "I would've explained things to you last night but I couldn't. Not until Theresa gave me the okay."

"Dad, its Theresa." Seth said simply breaking his silence for the first time.

"I'm a lawyer she asked for privacy she's entitled to it."

"Not if the privacy is her hiding bruises." I spat at him. "And you made her go through it alone."

"You should know me better than that to say that. You know if someone comes to me they are never alone." Sandy said, hurt by my words. "Anyway, what if I had have told you? What if you had of known then what would you have done?"

"I- I don't know, help her." I shrugged.

"How? Go to Chino see Eddie, land in the hospital, or jail, or worse? Theresa was protecting you."

"Theresa's the one getting hit, she's the one that needs protecting – not us." Seth met Sandy's gaze with a glare "You should have told us."

"Well I didn't! Cause I knew you'd get riled up and do something stupid. And now that you do know... I sure hope you don't prove me right."

"What about Theresa?" I asked. "Tell me you're helping her."

"What do you think?" Sandy smiled at me.

"She going to stay here?"

"She's on her way. You know if she's around people who care about her, she's less likely to go running back to him."

"Thank you."

"Hey, I'm just doing my job." He said. "You're not still mad at me."

"I was never mad as such-"

"-just hurt." Seth finished for me.

"It's a very private thing." He told him, resting a hand on his son's shoulder. "You can't understand it until you've been through it."

* * *

I slipped out of the shower and threw on a dress that looked reasonably ironed, my hand was on the door handle to step out towards the main house when I saw Seth and Theresa talking in the garden. I waited for Seth to dissapear before taking his place next to her on the bench.

"I can't deal with you too Alex." She sighed.

"Can you deal with another Newpsie party?" I offered quietly. "Marissa's mom is marrying Kirsten's dad."

"Seriously?" Theresa looked up from her knees.

"You wait til I get to the part where Marissa's ex is sleeping with her dad."

"That may be weirder than you, me and Seth." She smiled weakly at me. "I have nothing to wear." I pointed towards the pool house. "Thank you." She nodded as she stood up.

"For allowing you to borrow a dress?" I frowned at her.

"For not saying anything about…" her hand instinctively went to her eye, then she shrugged, "… and then there's the whole Seth issue."

"Be careful." I warned her as she walked into my room, without having to say it we both knew I was talking about Seth rather than Eddie.

* * *

We stood silently simply watching the party around us. I didn't know what to say to her and I don't think she knew what to say to me. I really don't think Hallmark make a cards for domestic violence, so I just stood there, with her, her hand in mine. Seth was holding her other one.

"Hey I'm going to go find something to drink." She told us after a long while. "You want anything?" We both shook our heads, she let go of each of our hands and left us in silence.

"This isn't really a Rock, Paper, Scissors situation is it?" Seth mumbled nervously.

"That's what you're thinking about?" I growled at him. "She just got beat up by-"

"The man she left me for." He said back, making himself as big as possible. "Do you really think my head isn't in this?" He shrunk back down. "I don't know what to do." He sighed out after a pause, "I love her."

"I have to find Marissa." I told him after a longer silence. I walked all around the party. Twice. I found Summer and Anna bickering before I found Marissa in the catering tent sat on an upturned box besides Theresa. "I was looking for you." I smiled at her.

"Everything's okay?" She frowned at me.

"Just Seth." I sighed and watched as they both weakly smiled. Theresa stopped though as soon as her phone started ringing. I watched her glance at the caller ID before choosing to let it go on ringing. "That him?"

"Yeah he's just calling to apologise again. I'm not gonna get it." Theresa was as quiet as I'd ever heard her. I snatched up her phone and dropped into a glass of champagne. "You know if there's water damage I can't claim that back on the insurance." I merely shrugged. "And you've gone back to being quiet, angry Alex." She nodded. "You're taking this better than I was expecting."

"Taking what better?" I sighed dropping between her and Marissa. "The fact that your fiancée is scum or the fact that your boyfriend is my brother?"

"I'm going to go make one of my famous toasts." Marissa said leaving us quickly behind.

"What was I meant to do?"

"You could have not slept with Seth." I told her. "That would have been a start. You could have not have left him. That could have been the middle. You could not have-"

"Get beat up by my fiancée?" She snapped at me. "God, I'm so sorry Alex to inconvenience you like that."

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean Alex?" She was stood and staring down at me. "Cause I can't wait to hear your pearls of wisdom."

"You should have picked Seth." I said simply going out to find Marissa and hold her hand as she made a toast to her mother.

"WE CAN'T ALL WAIT FOR SOME RICH, PERFECT FAMILY TO ADOPT US AND STICK US IN THEIR BEAUTIFUL POOL HOUSES!"

I spun back round to face her, I'd made it to the door of the tent before she'd started yelling, I'd got so close.

"Then you shouldn't have started fucking their son and have him fall in love with you." I told her simply, trying so hard not to raise my voice. "You shouldn't then have left him and you certainly then shouldn't have come back."

"So you wanted me to stay with Eddie?" A tear was running down her face. "You wanted me to go through what I saw your mom going through? You want me to go through that? Cause I remember you hiding around mine a lot of the time whilst we were growing up. I can't live that life. I shouldn't have to live that life." My arms were around her and I was holding her so tight that I thought she was going pop. She was crying so hard now that I was carrying all her weight in my arms. All the weight of her world.

"If you're going to stay here," I whispered in her ear trying to hold back tears of my own, "you're going to have to work out what you had with Seth because its going to get real awkward you living under our roof and him loving you if you don't love him back."

* * *

The sun had set and I was staring out onto the beach beyond the garden. Kirsten had just dropped the drapes so I could no longer see her settling Theresa into my room. I felt Marissa drop down besides me.

"Sorry I missed your toast."

"It was a great one."

"They always are."

She placed her arm around me and I dropped my head onto her shoulder. "Sorry I couldn't get away sooner and watch the sunset with you."

"You missed the tide turn."

* * *

R&R, thank you again guys. We're nearing the end... its only been two years... thank you all for your patience I really appreciate it. Circus


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